We Appear To Have This Cat, Sir.

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

was anyone gonna tell me mitch mcconnell collapsed in his office and has been in the hospital for weeks. wouldve been a nice pick me up.

edit it WASNT in his office it was at HOME. oh well im not that picky.

his aides are being really cagey and the governor is pissed because if hes dead he needs to appoint someone but he needs to know hes dead to do that. typical mitch blocking a democrat appointee. he maybe died doing what he loved i guess.

Gott nimm meine Periodenkrämpfe und gib sie Friedrich Merz

schwöre die Aktivität an diesem Post ist wie so ein Merz-Bullshit-Seismograph. Immer wenn der wieder Notes bekommt weiß ich dass er was Dummes von sich gegeben hat

Reverse Mulan about a young man who disguises himself as a noblewoman and has to learn how to do passive-agressive politicking at dinner parties.

He does so to dodge the draft

the funniest part of much ado is after claudio and hero get engaged and beatrice is like “meanwhile I’m over here!!! forever alone!!! I wish someone like don pedro would ask me to marry him haha!!” and don pedro is like “would you like me to marry you?” and beatrice says no.

that chef in The Menu must have had the most fucked up little rat controlling him

not the kind of gay ship I’m used to seeing on tumblr but cool

ship georg is an outlier but SHOULD be counted

I love it when media fucks up the wording of the Rasputin disclaimer and ends up with shit like "any resemblance to people or locations living or dead is coincidental". I'd love to know what committing libel against a dead location would entail.

Fuck the Fiesta Mall in Mesa, AZ. I heard it ate someone once.

this sea sucks shit. it doesnt even have any scrolls im sure

Felix Yusupov, my love

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame

why am i dressed slutty you ask? to read classic literature alone in my room. mind your own business.