We Appear To Have This Cat, Sir.

The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "😰 No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!

they are gonna harvest usmnt keepers organs and donate them to mitch mcconnell

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

was anyone gonna tell me mitch mcconnell collapsed in his office and has been in the hospital for weeks. wouldve been a nice pick me up.

edit it WASNT in his office it was at HOME. oh well im not that picky.

his aides are being really cagey and the governor is pissed because if hes dead he needs to appoint someone but he needs to know hes dead to do that. typical mitch blocking a democrat appointee. he maybe died doing what he loved i guess.

Gott nimm meine Periodenkrämpfe und gib sie Friedrich Merz

schwöre die Aktivität an diesem Post ist wie so ein Merz-Bullshit-Seismograph. Immer wenn der wieder Notes bekommt weiß ich dass er was Dummes von sich gegeben hat

Reverse Mulan about a young man who disguises himself as a noblewoman and has to learn how to do passive-agressive politicking at dinner parties.

He does so to dodge the draft