fatal flaws

I’m not a fan of any of them. Wish you had all just worn togas and called it a day. This isn’t Euphoria. Someone wrap a bedsheet around yourself and get out there!

Felix keeps disappearing to who knows where. Think he’s involved in a secret money laundering ring? Wait no, that would require a brain. Valerie seems sus as well. She’s too pretty. Like she should be distracting a security guard while Danny Ocean breaks into a casino vault. 

Lana, Darby and her fur coats. Harry, if you’re into the Ralph Lauren model look. Selene and old lady role play.

Leo or Hugo. They’re both one misplaced/lost shoe away from snapping. Although my money’s on Leo. When I look in her eyes it’s like hello? Terrifying. Amy Dunne levels of unhinged.

nah. she’s just horny for becca. becca, please unblock her. please. we are all so tired. isn’t it hard enough watching the leo/romeo and selene/will slow burn? we don’t need another one. just fuck and make up!

it’s kind of hot to be honest. the other day i saw lana crying, naked, in fetal position, calling out becca’s name like moaning myrtle in harry potter. it was so sad that it kind of turned me on.

there’s more than one lesser? this has to be an act of terrorism. send their parents to JAIL

the name finn sounds kinda gay so. sure. 

there’s nothing hot about the word platonic, anon. if you aren’t fucking raw in the backseat of a toyota camry i don’t want to see it!

all of the blackthorns. the ghost of my unborn child. henry, if she were still here. 

who gives a fuck? sociopaths are more fun anyway. we need a new syre around here. hugo, babes, let your dick out and go crazy

ah lana, the manic pixie dream girl that john green could never even dream of writing. power to her. i hope she fucks the whole football team. i’m rooting for you, sis.

you may be right anon. the name philomena doesn’t even sound human. it sounds like a prescription drug that tastes like baby vomit. side effects include: headache, nausea, and general existential dread.

i’m gonna be real, if you let yourself get involved with felix you deserve to get hurt. i once saw him snort coke off a flip-flop. if you even flirt with him you don’t deserve an orgy, you deserve the purgatory. it’s just natural selection baby. 

romeo. where the fuck is he? he’s behind me isn’t he? he’s always lurking...

will and apollo’s ghost. vinnie and the holy spirit. leo fower and his math homework. selene and tomato soup. harry and leo albright. felix and delilah (sorry daria!)