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A recent expedition to the old school yielded a photograph, taped to the inside of a locker. While the girl in the photo has been confirmed to be Junko Enoshima, the Future Foundation has yet to identify the boy in the image. Please email Detective Kirigiri with any additional information.
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Mentions of blood, self deprecating thoughts, and general angst.
Matsuda's POV the last few minutes of his life.
The last thing he feels is regret.
His blood pooling out of his body, leaving behind that regret. Hard and rigid in his chest, yet still hollow like a void.
Was this the despair she traded him for?
He has no choice to except that, no other option but to die with his regrets. He had brought this onto himself, hadn't he? Does karma reward those who hurt others? Who take more than what is due?
Fuck, who was he kidding? He doesn't believe in that shit. He was a scientist, a neurologist with a deep understanding for the human brains love of imagination. He can only blame his own stupidity.
Stupidity and regret for believing someone actually loved him.
It was almost laughable, the way he fell for every little trick. Jumped through ever little hoop. Yielded every beck and call. Maybe that's why she's laughing so hard right now.
A person like him was never loved from the beginning. His father didn't love him, his mother died forgetting his existence, he could only manage to keep one fucking friend his whole life, and now? Bleeding out as the only person he truly loved watched.
Truly, why did he think she'd be different?
Why did he think she could love a neurotic asshole who can't bathe himself?
Why did he think she, who gets bored with even herself, wouldn't get bored of him?
Why did he trust her so much when the only thing she ever did was hurt the both of them?
Was it the fucking sandcastle? Was it the promise to never forget him? To always be by his side? Was it false promises made from a child that pushed him to kill?
He regrets believing her.
He regrets protecting her.
He regrets loving her.
He regrets trusting the fox not to bite.
And he regrets that he can't believe his own lies.
I've seen so many ppl talk about Ryoko forgetting Matsuda at the end of the second novel and how it confused them. And it wasn't until on one of my multiple read through that I noticed
She only forgets him after she's been told that he's working with Junko. Not even when Mukuro tells her he killed someone, she even starts to call out for him to save her, but specifically when she is told that he had betrayed her.
I think it less that she just conveniently forgot in that moment, or even that she started to remember that she didn't care about him like matsuda accused. But rather that she's shutting down mentally (because the "What is that?" paragraph feels so much like her completely spiraling) and/or she can't use her method of remembering matsuda (her heartbeating fast) because she is completely heartbroken.
This is sorta implied by what happens later when they bring up her heartbeating. But Matsuda uses it as proof that she DIDNT care for him, which is not true given we have a chapter from junkos prospective and her own thoughts for him.
Omg hiii!!!!!! I was unactive for a long time actually and didn't look at tblr till today, so my answer is late lmao. but still thank you so much for remembering!! 🫶
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