reeling

I'm feeling confused and conflicted lately when my parents brought up the topic of studying.. what makes it difficult is they want me to study something that will give me a license or some kind of title.. comparing me or telling that how will my cousins or other people look up to me...

And even if i study again, the degree without the license is not enough

I feel like even if i do all that it will never be enough

I want to choose myself, but my parent getting old makes it hard for me

But i am learning, i am reminding myself to still do the other thing

Cant even find myself anyone who'll play badminton with me.. or go with me somewhere

My father's telling me about how my cousins won't look up to me, as if that's what i want... which i told him that i don't

Still acting like they can use the compare route on me... saying how they have professional titles/licenses

Now they're putting pressure on the youngest, my brother, to have that degree and title.