Hello

your 20s are about elves, your 30s are about continued meditations on the elf

i think the most upsetting thing about american-flavor puritanism is how fucking patronizing it is. it's 2026 but the whole world still has to deal with a cultural hegemony grown from the gnarled vestiges of victorian-era paternalism. tax-paying adults with passports and the right to vote are treated like wayward children because of the antiquated idea that authorities must protect the weak minds of the unwashed masses from depravity and corruption. the average american can send a fellow citizen to the chair, but they can't piss in a ditch without being declared an outlaw. american entertainment media is saturated with sex, but you can't talk about it online without getting your account suspended. it's such blatant censorship at a universal scale, but because sexual content is framed as inherently dangerous, this restriction on basic adult autonomy, this blanket denial of moral and intellectual adulthood, can be reframed as protection, an expression of care, a moral duty. "won't someone think of the children!" I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN!

i think it's so funny wehave like letters and whatever from Tolkien talking about how he fucked up with the orcs. it's ao funny

i bring a sort of “you should maybe interrogate your so-called ‘preferences’ to make sure they’re not literal textbook examples of severe unconscious bias” vibe that my woke gay friends dont really like

“but if i communicate it perfectly then they will understand me” WRONG 10,000 years of suffering

if they're gonna remake The Princess Bride, it should open with a kid sick in bed scrolling on his phone. his grandpa arrives with a gift--it's a DVD player with a disc already inside. grandpa hooks it up to the TV and presses play. and we all just watch the original 1987 film again.

on tv people are always getting called by professional titles instead of names eg captain doctor detective what have you. wish this happened more in real life in general for your average person. I would like to simply be addressed by the element of my life that is relevant to the current situation, I mostly do not want people to know or use my name. hello patient, the doctor will see you now. dear applicant we are sorry to say that we think your resume is terrible and we hope you crumble into unseeing dust forever, goodbye. you there, shopper, please stop hiding under the clothing racks and leaping out to bite people. and so forth

Forreal tho being addressed as "Madam Advocate" by judges hits this feeling for me so much that I don't even mind the misgendering. After all, it's not me, it's the Advocate being addressed, and the Advocate has a Job To Do (which is supporting the survivor who doesn't want to be there at all but is being coerced by the system).

Yeah sometimes you gotta catch yourself when you're about to repeat the sins of the past

Tumblr is the reason why I have something I call the cashier test which is, if i told this to a random cashier at the grocery store, would they think you're crazy at best or at worst would they be warranted in leaping over the counter and beating the shit out of you. Karl Marx mpreg is crazy, but not beating the shit out of you crazy. The cashier will probably talk about you to their coworkers and it might even make their day. Telling someone they're complicit in their own oppression by working a minimum wage job at a grocery store makes them warranted in leaping over the counter to beat the shit out of you.

Am walking through Manhattan, there's a woman who can't be more than 25 in a big fur coat, walking with a cane, angrily saying into her headpiece "I want them them destroyed," I feel like an extra in a movie

oh u need an accessory to go with that sexy dress? might i suggest a random bruise on ur leg

Jinkies

Jeepers!

Zoinks!

Ruh roh!

FUCK

My favorite part of this post is that it implies Fred is the one saying “FUCK” because we know who typically says the other 4 things

which makes sense as he’s the one who actually legally owns it

If you can roll up a coin you deserve to snort coke imo

not a hot take by any means but nobody fucks with the library enough

not just for the genuine physical library but like. you know that you can use Kanopy for free with a library card right? it frequently has new films but also a huge collection of non-U.S. films and classic movies. I watched A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night and But I'm a Cheerleader in the same day. you can stream essentially any music and a ton of TV shows on Hoopla? both have smartphone apps. and it costs you nothing. I'm currently streaming Kehlani after listening to a Glenn Miller Orchestra compilation album while I did chores this morning and the first thing that pops up when you open the app is the new Olivia Rodrigo album. The entirety of Dr. Who is available on there rn. I have an audiobook checked out that I listen to in the car. my neighborhood branch had a conservation scientist come in with live bats and gave a free all ages lecture about them. most library's have museum passes you can rent with your library card for up to like 4-6 people. get a freakin library card