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ALYSSA. ALY. LYSS. || TWENTY. || ALHAITHAM’S WIFE.

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asks; always open to chat, selfship hcs (i love those plz)

requests; currently closed

inbox; fifteen (15) requests !

dont mind that theres nothing yet, it‘ll come with time 🩷

this isnt necessarily a decision i wanted to make but here goes nothing.

i have reached a very horrible headspace in this moment. the situation with the guy wasn‘t necessarily the turning moment for me, but a situation in my family.

i dont want to go into too much detail but the only thing important to know is that i have developed a quite severe hatred towards myself and my father without ever really intending to. i have to work on that first. at least for a bit. my hatred towards myself isnt necessarily about my body (that a bit too) but about myself. my character, my behavior, everything.

this is why i want to take a short tumblr break. i‘ll be gone until like august probably, hopefully will be able to have find a therapist by then to finally work on myself and figure out whats wrong with me. you can always dm me on discord if you want to chat, but other than that, i‘m taking a break from writing and tumblr.

hopefully we‘ll see each other in august. i‘ll be back soon.

thank u for following me throughout the past couple of months, supporting me for my writing and everything.

i appreciate each and every single one of you.

im just so sad that despite being twenty now i never got to experience any sort of love in that sense. i never even had a crush. i know that i can feel sexual attraction but never any romantic feelings.

im talking to this boy rn and he really makes me happy and remembers tiny details of things we spoke about idk two weeks ago, he keeps up with me, calls me and i can call him comfortably and vent about something that bothers me but the only thing i cant vent about to him rn is that i dont really feel romantic feelings to him. hes sweet but i dont have a crush on him. i think, at least.

it bothers me so much and i dont know what to do anymore. i know that i got to talk to him about it eventually but i fear that once i do, i will lose the simple happiness he can give me, too. but he seems so hopeful to have found his match; to have found the person he likes.

he even jokingly told his mom that he‘s talking to his girlfriend on the phone when he was talking to me. i feel so bad, i feel like im leading him on but i dont know how to talk about it either.

because of that, i want to make a little birthday oriented event-ish thing for myself, posting some birthday based fics for marius von hagen, alhaitham, childe, blade and jing yuan.

so please, feel free to send me some birthday celebration related requests, headcanons etc, specifically for those five, others work too tho!