XzubbaX

nyen is the kind of person who has to be in a relationship with someone who's very preoccupied in other thoughts because it's less rewarding otherwise. if he was with someone who gave him constant affection it wouldn't be an achievement to get attention so it would diminish his perceived "purpose" of being in the relationship in the first place.

in his mind he has to always go above and beyond to garner attention and appreciation from the other end (in this case luther) but it ends up working against him because luther after awhile just expects that he'll do that and doesn't think anything of it other than just nyen being nyen which only makes him try harder to get attention

to nyen the goal is to find a balance where he gets attention from luther most effectively but this is a slippery slope to scale because luther a lot of the time is very preoccupied with other things and his mind is all over the place and nyen's goal is basically to wedge in among those millions of thoughts; which in the end ends up hindering his ability to actually effectively get attention in a way that doesn't end up negatively affecting someone. to reiterate: nyen doesn't WANT to stress luther out more than he already is (and even does things frequently in attempt to alleviate his stress) but he ends up doing so unintentionally anyway because he ends up getting in his head about it too much and sets his mind too much onto getting attention to the point he accidentally overlooks how it affects luther. however i do think overtime he has to some degree gotten it down to a science, he still ends up sometimes seeking worry from luther as a means of validation or attention even if he knows it's not a good thing to do just to make himself feel better

when nyen Does seek out luther's worry to validate himself he does it in a weird sort of indirect way so he feels less guilty about it even though it's basically the same thing as directly doing worrisome things just because the intent is the same. for example, nyen got a very taxing construction job that made him very tired and drink and smoke a lot as a result just so luther would fuss over him and he kept on doing it regardless of the effects it had on him because luther's validation is what he was after in the first place. In other words, the consequence of the job is cancelled out by the reward of being "noticed" by luther in nyen's perspective.

nyen has also learned over time that he can't really just ask for affection and has to get it in other ways which i think is a reason why he's so indirect and quiet about everything he does especially regarding luther. i don't think he necessarily learned this behavior from luther, i personally think it's more so something he picked up from past relationships and it's carrying over into his current one, but it's there regardless. more specifically i believe this is rooted in him being himself (which is someone who is very insecure and bases his purpose and value on being "noticed"/perceived validation from people he holds in a high regard) and then this causing problems in his relationships for his whole life -> it evolves as he gets older and brings us to who he is today which is essentially the same thing but much more calculated

^ more on this, luther saying the rest of the family doesn't communicate with him well enough is very true and this connects to nyen's reason why he's shied away from communicating. With everyone other than luther he's extremely direct and blunt which tells me he maybe Used to be more direct with people he held in the same regard as luther, then it not going over as planned and causing issues in his relationships. I think this is what made him pick up the "he has to notice me on his own" behavior because he learned that if he's direct it's not as effective and makes the other person feel bad which deviates completely from what his goal is (which is to get attention and validation as effectively as possible to alleviate his insecurities)

luther and the catmen are all equally at fault for their lack of communication but it's interesting how this problem came to be in the first place because it very much stems from them all having misunderstandings as to what the others need. like with luther and nyen, luther doesn't realize nyen is after his attention to the degree he is nor does he realize nyen is expecting him to notice him "on his own" which is why he's so quiet and instead assumes that nyen does not like talking and tries to get talking with him over with as quickly as possible because he thinks nyen doesn't like it even though he does and wants that attention very badly

Found a VHS tape in some messed up box buried deep underground. This clip is the only thing it shows as of right now.

2021 - 2019