dearest ana, if pressed, and you had to watch bts members eat for an hour... in order of most watchable to least watchable... I MUST KNOW. sincerely, hope xoxo
okay hopie, you know compiling this list was torture for me, but i did it anyway because i love you and can't deny you a thing. so without further ado, your bangtan eaters ranked from least to most obnoxious:
most points for overall cleanliness and decorum. enjoys eating and demonstrates very little food aggression, for the most part willing to share. eats (mostly) with his mouth closed. meals are relatively calm and organized. did, however, eat a fortune cookie whole — paper intact.
hungry all the time and will do anything to eat. a reputation for obtaining food though shady means. repeatedly caught on camera stealing snacks and meals from other members. one half of the infamous dumpling incident.
watching him eat is almost unbearable, and you guys know how i feel about this man. has delicate fingers and hands which seems to help his case overall, but seems to prefer using those hands instead of utensils. one time i watched him obliterate a churro in three bites -- which is actually not as sexy at it sounds.
forever biting off more than he can chew. eats like a man three times his size. i have twice witnessed him take bites so large he was physically unable to chew and had to spit it out and try again. literally the only man on the planet hot enough to get away with it.
not shy in any way about eating on camera. not worried in any way about choking hazards. willing to (speak, scream, laugh) around a mouthful of food. once watched him pick up an entire half chicken with his chopsticks which was, admittedly, impressive.
get marie kondo on the horn because seokjin is a mess. will eat anything that is not nailed down. will use any means necessary to get food to mouth; chopsticks, straws, fingers. ability to make food defy gravity, suctioning noodles from plate to mouth with powerful lung capacity. seems to prefer foods covered in sauces. bib recommended.
absolutely missed his calling as a wild animal. highly food aggressive, will and has reached over/under/through members to grab something he wants. always locked into a battle to the death with his (already dead) food. mean mugs his plates. sucks his fingers. one time watched this man deepthroat an entire kimbap which -- again -- is not actually as sexy as it sounds.
yousharknotpass
gummygunk