.

Now that I think about it… I honestly don’t think I’ve ever made a new years resolution. It just feels like too much pressure. I think you’re doing alright without one. 

keyanureevs​:

That was good. He found he was more relieved to hear her say that about David than he probably should be, if he was supposed to be an unselfish shoulder to lean on — though after what had been done to her … Whether it was from a place of friendship or something more, Keanu couldn’t see her and David reuniting and returning to that same life they’d shared, not with the history that had accumulated in its place — and that was when he knew he was actually thinking strictly in terms of being Winona’s friend. Friends were allowed to be biased in their friends’ favor, after all, and David deserved all the censure he got. Back when the pair had been happily engaged, Keanu had accepted it if only for the beaming smile Winona had always worn; if he had been able to overcome the pain of seeing her with someone else, then seeing her suddenly without him, abandoned at the altar and devastated to see her future dissipate before her eyes, made him hurt worse than he ever had. Once, he’d begun to believe that David deserved his friend, but now he knew he wouldn’t have just been indulging his feelings if he’d believed any differently.

Of course, he never wanted to pressure her into thinking the same way, so it was a weight off of his shoulders not to have to bite his tongue so hard. Now it was just a matter of biting his tongue about something else.

“Hey — hey, it’s not stupid. Look at me.” His other hand moved to her shoulder, wrapping around it and giving her a reassuring squeeze. All the while his heart twisted into knots as she shared these revelations with him, not knowing the half of what it was doing to him or what it meant. Although it began to sink when he heard her admit to there possibly being someone else … Was that part of why she had been so distant? Had she been dealing with feelings she worried wouldn’t be returned, without ever once thinking he was an option?

“Winona — I have to tell you something.” He heard himself start to say suddenly, bracing himself as he interrupted her. “What I’m … about to say — I need you to know, nothing has to change. Nothing will ever change.” However this shook out, Keanu was sure she’d always hold that same special place in his life. He’d always be there for her, whatever she decided; he’d be available anyway, just in case. “I should have told you before, a long time ago, and maybe … Maybe I shouldn’t tell you like this now, but I always hated seeing you cry.” He tried to keep his voice light despite his nerves.

“It was from me. I sent you the note.”

Winona chewed on the inside of her lip nervously, not sure why she really even felt that way, pressing lips together as she did her best to not think about all the ups that she had once had with David but all of those happy up memories were tainted by all the negatives. The evenings that were spent by herself while he was out, the feeling of not really being, the devastation of being left in her white dress, the happiest she had been to crying and feeling hollow. Though it wasn’t all bad because she had Keanu there for her through it all, part of her had almost kissed him a few times after the break up but she always talked herself out of it not thinking he would be into her. She was nervous to look up into his eyes knowing she wouldn’t be able to control anything that happened.

He was her one true friend, the man that put her back together when she cracked, the man that held the key to her heart that he didn’t even know he was carrying. Swallowing past the lump that was forming in her throat.

‘Look at me.’ came the request and she felt some tears spill over and down her cheeks. Eyes closing as her head lifted up just as he squeezed her shoulder, it felt stupid, biting her lower lip some as eyes opened to look at the slightly blurry outline of the male, his hand like an anchor to the real world and not giving into the darkness that felt like it was creeping up into her. There was no going back after tonight she felt, her heart picking up speed as her lips parted some as she really looked at him, her breath catching slightly.

Blinking some to really focus on him, her brows knitting together in a mild worry, why did she suddenly feel like she was on a roller coaster drop. Her stomach felt tight and like it was doing loops as she watched him. Swallowing thickly she gave a nod, “Of course. Nothing has to change.” she repeated because she hoped he meant that she could not lose him. Her fingers tightened around his then loosened once more as she swallowed her heart racing. What should he have told her a long time ago? She wondered, lips parting some as she gave a choked laugh at his attempt to keep his tone light..then it felt like the world stopped..

‘It was from me. I sent you the note.’ Her breath caught, without any real thought she closed the distance between them, her hand leaving his to rest against his neck as she pressed a kiss to his lips,

keyanureevs​:

The longer they sat together in silence, the more at war with himself Keanu felt. On the one hand, it wasn’t often that any silences between them were awkward — maybe she was one of the very few people in his life who had ever made him feel comfortable and at ease at nearly all times — but on the other, she’d grown quieter like this for weeks, even months. Something heavy was on her mind; the only thing he could think of that had changed was that phone call. He knew that the wounds from David must still sting, given how abrupt and painful and without closure that experience had been, but if he was honest … Maybe he had never really thought she would truly return to him, or vice versa. Maybe he was biased because he had seen what David’s leaving had done to his best friend, or maybe he was biased because he didn’t want her to go back to him for more selfish reasons … but for a while, it hadn’t been as pressing a concern until the new year had rolled around, and so had David. The man had been out of contact for so long, and for one phone call to throw Winona so out of sorts worried Keanu for all the reasons.

He didn’t want her to get hurt again; even now, it seemed like she was trying to battle something alone again. But how much of his feelings bled into that concern, he wasn’t sure anymore — not since he had sent that note. He had hesitated back then, wondering if it was smart to send or if it would just hurt her more with all that was weighing on her. He didn’t want to play games, but he didn’t know how else to tell the truth other than to actually tell her, which felt impossible. How could he not tell the woman who knew everything about him, the single most important secret of his life? If she didn’t feel the same, he knew in his mind she wouldn’t judge him, but in his heart, he supposed the doubt was a lifelong culmination of all the moments he’d talked himself out of it.

Ultimately, remembering the call from David had decided it for him though: whatever happened, happened. At best she would laugh it off and dismiss it, maybe go back to normal, and at worst … He hadn’t wanted to dwell on it. He wondered if this would be it: the other shoe, slamming back down to earth.

“You’re right, we would know.” He agreed, trying to keep his voice even and gentle like he was trying not to spook a delicate animal. His hand slowly reached out, settling over hers in a show of encouragement and silent affection as she seemed to will herself to calm a little, though he still knew all of her nervous tics, from the way she licked her lips and fidgeted, or the way her eyes darted around the room, anywhere but at him. “Is this what’s been bothering you the last couple of weeks?” Keanu asked patiently, and before he could think better of it … “Is it bothering you because you don’t want it to be from him, or is it bothering you because … you want it to be from someone else?” His heart felt like it was due to leap out of his chest any moment now, the blood rushing to his ears as he posed the dangerous question.

Winona hated the fact that she got that phone call on New Years it threw her into a spiral that she never thought she would fall into again. She tried very hard to keep herself out of the dark hole that she slowly found herself hiding in through out the months, many times she found herself staring at her phone just waiting for the other male to call her again but she knew he wouldn't. Why would he when he already did the damage? It would seem that anytime that she showed signs of moving on and becoming happy David would pop up, she didn't fully understand it. He left her not the other way around and part of her as much as it had broke her when he did leave she was relived because she felt as if she was finally free to live her life the way she wanted, with whom she wanted. Which she did in a way but she never let herself fully give into what she wanted, always scared of rejection again.

She was thankful that she had Keanu with her, he helped her in ways that no-one ever had before. It killed her that she was shutting him out again, why did it feel like that day all over again all because of a note that she didn't want to be from her ex but a note that she wanted to be from her best friend who was currently sitting in front of her. She once again found herself chewing on the inside of her lower lip eyes moving back and forth some as if she was looking for something that just wasn't there. She wanted nothing more than to curl up alongside him and just lay there like she used too but she couldn't not when she was so confused about everything.

She could feel herself starting to give into that darkness when she felt his hand rest over hers and his tone was so gentle that it soothed over that fear and darkness that wanted to open up and swallow her whole. She took a deep breath that was a little shaky, "God I hope he never shows up." She stated shaking her head ever so slightly her own voice soft and quiet as she turned her hand over some and wrapped her fingers around his hand. It almost felt like an anchor holding her in place, calming the ocean waters around.

Secret Love Notes.| KEAONA

The house had been quiet for several hours, so Keanu had taken the opportunity to catch up on some of the books at his bedside. Yet every few lines, he found himself returning to the top of the page to try reading through them again, unable to focus fully. If he were honest with himself though, he hadn’t been able to concentrate on tasks outside of work for a few months now, even when he wasn’t actively thinking of her. Winona.

Winona hadn’t made much sound from her room herself, which wasn’t entirely unusual; even as close as they were, they could keep to themselves now and then — but the silence seemed louder. Ever since Valentine’s Day, the note he’d received had been burning a hole in his drawer. His eyes flickered over to where it was shut up inside, his hands almost twitching to fish it out. It seemed too good to be true to suspect it could be from her, especially given how convenient that would actually be since he’d sent one pouring his heart out to her, but he genuinely didn’t know who else could possibly feel any sort of way about him. She was the only one who truly knew him well enough to care; he’d talked to others throughout the town, even made a new friend here or there, but no one who would go to those lengths.

He was fiddling around with the pages of his book, flipping through to count how many more he had left in the current chapter, when Winona knocked and let herself in. She looked like she was beginning to more and more these days: confused, conflicted, nervous. He wished he knew how to help, but it felt like there was something unspoken between them — or maybe it was just his own secret that was distancing them further apart. Keanu set his book aside and sat up properly to face her, his eyes falling on the note she placed in front of him. His note. He tried not to betray any more emotion than he usually would have, but it took effort, his pulse picking up. He wondered if he looked nervous now too.

“You think he’s in town? Or do you think he’s just trying to get your attention again, after …” He didn’t finish his sentence, but he meant New Year’s and the phone call that he’d held her after she got. He cleared his throat. “I guess neither of those matter.” He answered himself, before bracing for what the answer to his next question might be. He wished he could answer it alone, too. “Do you want it to be from David?”

Winona wasn't the same talkative person she was at the end of the year before, she still of course would talk Keanu's ear off but not more than that. She hadn't even been pushing him to go out with her to get their minds off what ever seemed to be weighing on his mind and of course what was all weighing down on her. She was torn between what her head knew and what her heart wanted but she wasn't sure she was ready to listen to it.

Nails were scratching at the tops of her nails as she chewed on the inside of her lip, she felt a little exhausted as of late trying to figure out what was going on in her head and in her heart, swallowing them before she began to wring her fingers her shoulders slumping as she thought about what would happen should it really be from David? And part of her already was ready for the pain that would come from that especially considering how much she cared for him, Keanu, he was who she really wanted this letter to be from. Yet a single part of her brain felt a tiny bit of happiness from it being from her ex but it was a very tiny part of her brain.

She didn't know what she didn't crawl up the bed to sit a little closer to the male, she normally would have in this context. She would just let herself into the room and then go lay at his side or place her head in his lap but now, she wasn't sure if she should. There was just too much there that was being unsaid, she didn't know if there was something that he was keeping on his side or not but she did know that her secret affections for Keanu were getting harder and harder to ignore and put aside. Lips parted some as if she was going to speak but they soon were closing as she licked over her lower with slight nervous tick before she was gently biting at her inner lower lip again. Was he nervous there was something different but she couldn't place it or maybe she was projecting her own feelings onto him.

@keyanureevs​

She was still fiddling with the note in her hands, it had been weeks since she got this but she was still processing it. There was a part of her that was wishing that it had been from her roommate but another part of her, a stronger part of her brain though was sure that it was from David. Another part of her wondered if her note that sent to Keanu actually made it’s way to him part of her hoped it didn’t she didn’t want to ruin anything. She was currently sitting in the middle of her bed work clothes discarded off to the side with one leg pulled up underneath her, eyes scanning over the lines again and again. Pulling her lower lip between her teeth scrapping them across the skin there before she was letting out a deep sigh, she was confused hell confused seemed to be her all time state of mind ever since New Years.

Do you ever pick up a call at work and wonder why that person even bother to call with their stupid question? Do people think before they decide to speak or is that a thing from the past?

Originally posted by victoriapedrettigifs

Originally posted by victoriapedrettigifs