“I won’t make you do anything you do not want to,” Erik says quickly.

The way she almost begs him immediately puts him on the defensive. Despite his actions down in the catacombs the prior night, he does not truly wish to take her freedom from her in this or any circumstance.

“You can choose not to take it but without it, the pain will only increase again.”

     Christine knew that if she were in her right mind she would say that she was being foolish and clingy, that sleep would be best for her and that she shouldn’t crowd him so much. But in the state she was now, weepy with exhaustion, her mind still trying to wrap around the events of the day before, she felt emotional. Christine was a creature of affection, that had always been clear, even in her friendships. But here and now in her sorrow, she wanted the one she loved. 

     She felt so confused as to why Erik felt so far away from her, why it felt like though he was beside her he was miles away. She logically tried to tell herself that if he didn’t want her he wouldn’t have taken her with him and that he was only being careful of her in her injury, but she wondered if that were true. She missed him, felt like he was gone when he was still beside her. Once upon a time, she believed Erik would have done anything to be near her, to be allowed to hold her. Yet now, when she needed it most, when she needed him the most, he seemed wary. 

     When he made his comments about the pain getting worse she slowly shook her head, though the action brought on pain. “I’ll take it in a moment, I just...want you before the pain and the sleep take me again,” she said, her voice strained and emotional. With the arm not injured she reached up, her trembling fingers touching his cheek. She could touch him yet he felt so far, she loved him yet she felt a wall between them. She knew her pain was making her emotional, she knew she wasn’t being logical, but that didn’t make the ache in her heart any easier to bear. 

———  COUNTLESS  YEARS  SPENT  alone  in  cloistered  walls  (  does  not  know  exactly  how  much  time  has  passed  ),  that  such  concept  of  love  for  another  is  nearly  lost  upon  him.  vaguely  does  he  recollect  father  &  mother,  faces  blurred  and  almost  entirely  forgotten;  feels  last  vestiges  of  something  akin  to  ardor,  but  such  feelings  are  GHOSTLY. 

“nothing  in  life  is  fair.”  his  curse,  this  sentence  —  nothing  about  it  was  fair.  if  life  had  been  fair,  king  he  would  have  been  after  mother’s  reign,  ruling  with  compassion  &  mercy  (  queen  at  side,  and  heirs  that  looked  like  him  and  wife  );  instead,  all  once  adored  was  gone  —  he,  RELIC  of  what  once  was….  doomed.

expects  reaction  to  be  far  worse,  &  for  that  the  beast  is  surprised.  the  sigh  that  emits  is  weighted,  something  so  tired  in  every  possible  way  imaginable.  “my  reasons  are  my  own.”  head  slightly  motions  for  woman  to  follow,  as  steps  are  taken  further  within  castle.  “…what  is  your  name?”

     In that, Belle would agree. Nothing in life or in this situation was fair. What was fair about this sentence or this day? Nothing, that’s what. He had chosen a punishment far greater than the crime, a measly irritation demanding pain and suffering. He could live with losing a single rose in a garden of many, but could she live with being his prisoner? What did being his prisoner even mean? Would he torture her? Eat her? She didn’t know what to expect but every foreseeable option had her skin crawling and made her bones ache. Would she die within these walls? Would she be thrown into a cell and never see the light of day again? Her throat constricted with fear but she did her best to hide it, not wanting to be perceived as weak. She couldn’t let him know she was afraid. She had to be absolutely fearless. 

     When he motioned for her to come further into the castle she looked down at her shadow before her, the large door still open and letting in what she was so sure was the last bit of sunlight she would ever see. She swallowed thickly and turned away from him, her hand on the door. She could run, he might catch her, but she could run. She could die in the sunlight where she wanted to, she could die looking at the sky rather than into the darkness inside. But then she would be a coward and she couldn’t let herself be anything less than she was now. She had to be her mother’s daughter.

——— READY  FOR  ANYTHING,  or  so  he  thought.  had  in  life  had  expected  to  be  taken  in  the  night,  from  ship  considered  pride  of  the  caribbean.  utterly  defenseless  against  several  men,  pride  &  ego  wounded  more  than  his  person,  knowing  full  well  he  could  take  any  man  in  combat  (  a  master  in  the  art  of  the  sword  ).  green  hues  blazing  as  if  ignited  by  FIRE,  shouts  inaudible  thanks  to  material  tied  ‘round  mouth,  and  hands  cuffed  —  no  chance  of  escaping,  to  his  horror. 

taken  aboard  unknown  ship,  attempting  to  glean  name  but  unable.  it  was  not  unfathomable  that  someone  would  spirit  the  commodore  away  in  the  night  (  especially  by pirates,  who  would  feel  wronged  by  friends  hanged,  &  all  he  had  done  to  eradicate  piracy  from  waters  ),  but  the SUCCESS  of  such  feat?  that  rankled. 

thrown  into  cell  with  laughter  from  kidnappers,  all  man  can  do  is  stand  idly,  hands  ‘round  bars  &  fury  palpable. 

     Elizabeth watched as members of her crew piled into smaller boats while the rest stayed aboard her ship with her, her feet hitting the stairs in even steps before she stood upon the deck. “You all remember your end of the plan?” she asked loudly, all of her men calling out that they did. She nodded her head as she removed her hat from her head with a smirk, “Good. This is where the fun begins,” she said, looking over her shoulder at the wheel and the man behind it before looking back at the crew before her. “Jensen will be in charge once he gets back while I am playing my part. Smith, you will take over the wheel once the others return and Sam will come back down here to join the others.”

     “Yes Captain,” said the man she had been addressing who was about her height. 

     “Now then, I have to go get ready. Been a long time since I played the wide eyed maiden fair,” she said with a chuckle, her crew laughing around her before heading to their posts while she went to her quarters. Once there she changed out of her usual attire, already missing the freedom of trousers before she ever stepped into her dress. It was a simple thing, no corset in sight, and already she was uncomfortable. She slipped her shoes off to be left barefoot and took her hair down from the bun she kept it in when out to sea. Her golden locks fell around her, her fingers running through her hair as she studied herself in the mirror. For a mere moment she could see the girl she was before piracy and she detested the sight. 

     After a few minutes she came back out on deck, noticing how the crew looked at her as if she had lobsters coming out of her ears. “Well then, how do I look? Damsel in distress enough?” she asked. 

     “It’s strange seeing you in ladies clothes,” said Smith who had just been about to go up to the helm to take over for Sam as instructed. “You are still armed, aren’t you? How do ladies even keep weapons on them in those things?” he asked. 

     “We have ways. I have two blades on me as we speak,” she said with a grin. “Alright then, they should be back any minute, they are usually so timely. Remember, he has to be put in the same cell I am in or it will do us no good. These soldiers are so weak to the whims of a pretty girl in danger,” she said, gesturing for someone to follow her as she headed below deck. Smith had just gotten up to the helm and handed his keys to Sam who followed Elizabeth below deck, watching her stride over to the cell in the corner with ease. 

     “How long do we leave you down here before we come take you?” Sam asked as he unlocked the cell door for her and swung it open. 

     “No less than an hour. Make sure Jensen comes with you when you do. You will both have to make it look convincing, I plan on having some fun with Norrington and nothing says fun like him watching an innocent woman be dragged away kicking and screaming,” she said, stepping into the cell and making her way towards the corner where she sat herself down and wrapped her hand around one of the bars. “And don’t forget not to address me by title when you come down. It throws the game,” she reminded. 

     “Yes Captain,” he said with a nod and locked the cell behind her and heading back up on deck. It was only a few minutes later that she heard the sound of struggles and the sound of footsteps, slipping into character as Sam unlocked the cell and Jensen threw a man who was cuffed and gagged into the cell while smirking, glancing at her briefly before heading back up on deck to leave her to her work. 

———  LITHE  FORM  PULLED  closer,  as  soothing  tones  emit  to  calm.  “elizabeth,  elizabeth—”  like  mantra  does  he  repeat  name,  hands  running  through  golden  tresses  &  gentle  rocking  trembling  woman.  a  nightmare,  commodore  assumed,  brought  on  by  all  she  had  experienced  and  gone  through  these  past  few  days.  much  to  endure  for  anyone,  if  anything  her  only  now  just  succumbing  to  everything  was  admirable. “dearest…i  am  here…all  is  well.”  rich  baritone  repeating  sentiments,  as  lips  graze  crown. “a  terrible  dream,  nothing  more.  you  are  awake  now,  &  in  my  arms  where  you  are  SAFE.”  another  gentle  kiss,  pulling  back  enough  to  only  brush  at  tears  that  fell  from  reddened  eyes.

     When familiar arms once more encircled her she couldn’t help flinching, fearing what may happen since she was still so shaken from her nightmare. Her throat burned as she struggled to calm herself, feeling as if the hand she had struggled against was still there. She tried her hardest to listen as the one holding her whispered softly to her, her body still trembling. She had to calm down or she thought she might vomit, she couldn’t stop shaking. The whispers of her name wrapped around her until she felt like she was being swaddled like a babe who couldn’t stop crying, which in truth is how she felt. Uncontrollable, anxious, afraid, emotional. She felt volatile and vulnerable. 

     When he promised he was there and that she was safe it seemed to truly hit her that James was the one holding her, that he had made it out of the fight alive and that she was no longer at the mercy of Captain Barbossa. She was trembling as she pulled away from him enough to look up at him, her hair having fallen in her face and slightly stuck to her sweaty forehead. Her vision was blurred by her tears but as she reached up to run her fingers through her hair to move it from her line of sight, there he was, his bright eyes full of life and concern alike. Her heart ached, thinking briefly she would never see those eyes looking back at her ever again. 

     She almost couldn’t believe it, her dream having felt so real she could have sworn it was her reality. She reached up and touched his cheek, her trembling fingers flinching slightly as if burned by feeling his warm flesh. “You’re alive…” she whispered almost in awe, disbelief filling her voice. Her fingers trailed along his face until her thumb stroked along his temple, never looking away from his eyes, she had to see them or she would never be grounded in the midst of all this chaos. She only tore her gaze away from his own to look down at his chest where she had only just seen a blade plunge into his heart, her hand moving from his face to his chest and slightly rubbing there as if to prove to herself that he was whole. 

She had never once reacted like this to magic, even when they were young and he told her that she was a witch. She had reacted with happiness and a touch of relief to know that she wasn’t going mad, to know that this was correct and right in the world. To see her flinch as though she had been attacked, it was painful. This wasn’t going to be easy, he knew that, but he had not expected her to react as such. “It is not insanity Lily, it is who you are, it is within your blood the same as it is in mine.” Severus explained calmly but insistently. 

“Your eyes are the deepest, most beautiful green.” Severus replied, wishing to say much more than just that. Her eyes had always been so stunning, so mystifying and they drew him in each and every time that she looked at him. To see the lack of familiarity, the emptiness within them, it hurt him, like a burning blade through the heart. 

“Yes, Harry is fine. He is with a close friend of the family.” Severus replied, electing not to go into too much detail. He certainly could not let her know that said friend was a werewolf. She wouldn’t understand and it would bring terror to her. 

“This is a lot but your memories will come back to you in good enough time. Just be patient.”

     To even consider that something like magic was real, to admit that she believed in it, felt off somehow. Then again, what about today wasn’t off? She had woken up forgetting about her entire life, no memories of a husband she had once loved or a child she had adored. She couldn’t remember any of them. “You know what’s sick?” she asked softly. “I can’t remember you, I can’t remember a man I loved enough to marry or my own son...but I remember all the words to Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac,” she said, laughing bitterly. “And I can’t remember my mother or father but I...can recall so vividly a room with hardwood floors and gray walls...with white curtains over the window by the bed. I don’t even remember what I look like...but I could swear I recall a little orange cat winding between my feet. Isn’t that horrible?”

      When he described the color of her eyes in a way that seemed almost affectionate she turned her head to look at him again, her fingers gently stroking over the flower in her hands. “Are you sure that...that you and I aren’t…?” she trailed off, gesturing between them as she raised a brow at him. “You just...sort of seem to feel like...someone who is more than a friend.” 

James spoke so confidently because in a way he couldn’t see his life continuing without the rest of the marauders. Without Sirius there to tease and have his back, to encourage his crazy schemes. Remus, to remind him and Sirius not to go too far and do something crazy that could get them arrested, to be the cooler headed one in the group and remind them to slow down. Peter, who was soft-spoken and gentle, who cooked amazing dishes and was able to heal them, kissing scraps and bruises until they melted away. He didn’t- couldn’t imagine a life without them point-blank, but a life where it’s just him and Lily? No Sirius, no Remus, no Peter? Felt just as strange and empty. Which others may have found weird if they could hear James’ thoughts, because who lived with their best mates and their wife all in one house? They’d want to be able to have their own space and do their own thing; at least that’s that argument James could hear this mysterious narc using in his head. They were all in or out, ride, or die together. James did everything fully, with his full heart of the line, and in this way he expected the others to be the same.

It was its brand of strangeness to think of Sirius living in the flat his Uncle Al left him when he died, not being there when James was making his favorite breakfast. Of Remus moving from flat to flat, to living with seven other people in a cramped flat to living in a homeless shelter refusing to move back in with his parents in a bind for freedom. Instead of being with him and Lily outback, helping take care of the garden they would have planted together. Of Peter, returning home to his Fathers, of his attempts of convincing his Mum to move out of the place and get her somewhere safer. Instead of helping James make bread by hand instead of using a spell because while a spell was faster as Peter put it, ‘spells make you lose the soul of food sometimes. Spells are nice for a quick things but when you make it by hand you can put all your emotion into it!’

“Merlin’s beard! He’d shoot me?!” He exclaimed in horror, knowing very well what a gun was. Unlike many an ignorant pureblood. Mostly due to Lily’s, Peter’s, and Remus’ help in trying to educate others. Guns were bloody terrifying if he was honest with himself. He wasn’t sure if he could set up a protective charm faster then a bullet could go flying out of a barrel. He knew that parents were protective, but shooting someone- for what? Getting their daughter pregnant, or for wanting to get married? Wasn’t that a bit too much? He knew they were going too fast, this was even fast by wizarding standers, (given the fact he hadn’t even set a contract up with her.) but did it warrant such- severity? The punching was a bit more understandable to him; and something he would take full-on if being punched would make Lily’s father feel better.

Everything she had said made sense, they needed to figure this out. He couldn’t keep living in daydreams or he’d miss the future he wanted to make. He slowly reached out towards her, taking both of her hands within his own and squeezing them. “Okay,” he took a deep breath in before continuing. “Okay, you’re right. I just felt that, everything would fall into place. That we would all be okay and get our happily ever after- and while you wouldn’t be a burden on my family, merlin I mean we are rich you know? It’d barely be a dent in our gold to have you stay with us but I know what you mean. There is so much more planning to do. Would we want to get a place in the muggle world, or a place in the wizarding world, or even a mix of both? There are also wizarding mansions that are built in the woods for extra privacy, Remus would want something like that. I don’t think Peter cares as long as he can have his own space for once. Sirius- I don’t know he always came off more as a person who would want to live in the city. We’d have to ask them to, drag them house shopping.”

He chuckled, “we’d all really make a sight wouldn’t we? A huge group like us shopping for a home together… As for your parents, telling them at the train stations seems so- informal, but I rather not be attacked by your dad so having a floo close at hand would make me breathe easier. I’d rather like to have a quick getaway so I wouldn’t get shot, so the train station it is.”

     Lily sighed heavily at his worried outburst in response to if her father would shoot him or not, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know. I wish I could say no for sure but...Dad’s protective. No matter my age he always said I would be his little girl. And it took him forever to get used to me dating at all, let alone dating someone I didn’t much like for a long time,” she reminded carefully. Lily was lucky that she had very accepting parents considering they came from a very small town with very small minded people. If her parents had been more like the other people in the town she grew up in they would have been more concerned about the color of her boyfriend’s skin than they would have been about anything else. But her mother and father had always been very open and accepting people, something that not only worked in her favor when bringing home James but also in being the only witch in the family. She was lucky like that, but it didn’t automatically mean they were out of the woods just yet. 

     She could remember her father making comments around her and Petunia as children that no boy would ever be good enough for his little girls, though she knew probably every father did that in regards to their daughter. Her father had once told her that if any boy ever broke her heart that he would have to have a nice long talk with him while polishing his father’s old shotgun that he used to use when hunting with her grandfather. Her dad didn’t really hunt anymore, he didn’t like the idea of hurting things, let alone killing them. But when her grandfather died he had left his old hunting rifle to her father and he had kept it locked away as a means of protecting his family. She knew her father was protective and she knew he loved her, but that was why she was worried. 

     “He will think I’m pregnant,” she pointed out. “I don’t want my father to know a damn thing about our sex life but he will make assumptions about this. Even if I tell him I am not pregnant I don’t know how much he will actually believe me or if he will think I am just covering for you. My father is a good man, he loves me very much and he is very fond of you. But at the end of the day...my dad doesn’t think any guy is good enough for me or my sister,” she confirmed. “On the plus side...he likes you much better than he likes Vernon. He won’t even shake his hand,” she said, as if to comfort him. 

     Lily had a brief moment of worry that James wasn’t going to listen to her, that he would be too stuck in his ways to consider another option besides winging it. The idea of that terrified her, made her wonder if he really had grown and matured as much as she had given him credit for. Her stomach was filled with the anxious flapping of little butterflies, more like sour moths, as she waited for him to either accept or deny her request for a real plan. If he couldn’t give her this, if he couldn’t start making plans for her and for their friends, she didn’t know how well they would work out. But as he took her hands and said that she was right, she let out a shaky breath she didn’t know she had been holding, allowing herself to lean forward and slightly sag against him, her head leaning down and resting on his shoulder. He had scared her there for a moment. 

     “Thank you,” she whispered thickly, her hands squeezing his before she let go of them and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face there as she shuddered in relief. “Thank you, James,” she said softly, her arms holding him so tightly it was akin to that of someone who thought they would never give another hug in their entire life. She couldn’t take the worry of continuing on without a plan, without even so much as talking to the other boys about it. She needed James to step up and be a man, to make way for their future, to care. And he had done just that. 

She appeared to be emotionally devastated by the prospect of what lay before them and Severus could not quite fathom exactly why. He wanted to kiss away those tears that he could see shining in her eyes. There were a great number of things that he wished to do to her and with her and for her but that was not appropriate, at least not yet, not until they discovered what had happened. Severus wished that this had been something intentional but he was a realistic man; why would she ever want to be with someone like him? Being his friend and being his lover, those were two very different things. 

“My lab is fully equipped with all the necessary ingredients for the brew. I would be a poor example of a Potions Master otherwise.” Severus replied, squeezing her back in return, the gesture intended to be comforting. After a few moments, he let go of her and reached for his wand on the bedside table, waving the wand and summoning simple clothes; a pair of sweatpants and a shirt. With another wave of his wand, he summoned Lily’s clothes and directed them to land on the bed beside her. 

“The sooner we get this over and done with, the better.” Severus explained, sliding out of the bed and slipping the clothes on quickly. “You do not need to join me in the lab. If you prefer it, you can stay in the kitchen and get something to eat or drink. A good cup of coffee should help.” 

     She supposed he was right, what sort of potions master would he be if he was lacking ingredients for a potion such as this? She had almost hoped there was something terribly rare that would be hard to find that was involved in making the brew, mostly because she was trying to put this off for as long as possible. The idea of things breaking between them if she had told him the truth, of him slipping away from her because she was in love with him, it killed her. So, as he squeezed her one last time and let her go, she felt a sense of anxiety build up once more in her stomach. 

     She watched as he used his wand to gather clothing for the both of them, one of her hands separating the clothes from their pile mixed together and the other holding the blanket to her chest. When Severus stood up from the bed to dress, she couldn’t help that her eyes had flicked up to drink in what she could of his form, swallowing thickly as her freckled cheeks turned pink. Something warm built up in her lower stomach before she looked away, trying not to smile. He always was quite handsome. “I will probably take you up on that offer. My mother used to say there was very little in life that a good cup of tea couldn’t fix. I think Minerva told me the same thing once,” she commented. 

     She looked at her clothes and then back down at the blanket before looking back up at him. “I suppose if we are going to do this you will remember what I look like so I suppose there is no real need for me to have you turn around. You’ve seen everything already,” she commented, shrugging a bit. This was going to be interesting. She slid out of the bed and left the blanket behind, her pale and freckled body completely bare before him. She slid her panties back on and glanced at her bra for a moment, deciding she wasn’t going to bother putting it on since it was only the two of them.