Username: change

It was raining lightly, yet by the time I made it to my destination, my clothes were soaked. I stopped walking in the middle of the road after carelessly stepping into a puddle. A man on the other side stared at me before entering the club situated next to the hotel I was about to enter.

Immediately she caught my eye after I stepped into the small lobby. She was wearing grey sweats and her shoulder length black hair was wavy from the humidity. In her hand was her umbrella and over her shoulder her handbag. Without sharing a word with each other, we started walking upstairs. The further we walked down the corridor, the distant moans became clearer. I followed her to a room at the end of the corridor that she opened with a key. I closed and locked the door behind us as she leaned her umbrella against the wall. Without turning to face me, she combed her hair with her fingers. I was extremely flustered when she finally turned around and her cold stare caught me holding a condom between my fingers. She looked aside at the bed. I doubted whether that room had even been cleaned after its last use.

“My son is almost two years old now.” I blanched, my mind went blank. We stood in silence for longer than we should have. But I couldn’t make myself move or utter a word. It was her that eventually stepped closer to me and grabbed the condom from between my fingers.

“You are going to touch my ribs with this?” she looked up at me. I cleared my throat and shook my head in a state near to panicking.

“No,” I gulped.

“What do you plan to do with me then?” she pensively stared at small packet on her palm. I grabbed my wallet from my pocket and took out all cash I had. Around a thousand bucks.

‘“Can we talk?”

We were sitting down on the floor, backs against the wall. She had her knees bent up, her arms shoved between her legs. The clock on the wall kept ticking, and from what we could hear, someone had occupied the room next to ours.
“If your wife were to return, would you get clean?”

“I would.”

“I don’t understand,” she scoffed.

“What?”

“Why can’t you do it right now then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Shouldn’t you be trying to get better? If she’s so important to you. Yet from what I see and from what you told me it sounds like you have changed for the worse. Yet you have hope to continue living your fairy tale one day.” I gave her a haughty look.

“You don’t know the half of it,” I spoke with arrogance. 

“You paid me to talk, not to comfort you or lend a shoulder to cry on,” she glared at me with her unbreakable confidence shining through her eyes, “Don’t get all riled up when your feelings get hurt by the truth. You are weak and pathetic, self-centered and spoiled.”

“Do you think I don’t know all that?” I was bitter. Her words were sharp yet exactly what I needed to hear.

“So, when you finally see your wife again, because you will, you think she’ll be fine with who you are now?”

“Your point is clear, you can stop,” I groaned.

“Why are you sitting here then?”

“Because I’m scared god dammit!” I reached the peak of our conversation at the same time with the woman next door.

“Scared,” she mumbled and shook her head contemptuously.

“What if I can’t be better? What if my better isn’t enough? What if it’s already too late?” I aggressively rubbed my face, “You have a son -”

“Don’t talk about my son!” she threatened, pointing her finger at me.
“I paid you to talk and I can talk about anything I want! You’re just as scared to let down your son than I am to let down Emilia! I could ask you the same, why are you whoring around instead of being better?”

“Two completely different things! I do what I do to make sure me and my son can live our lives! So he could have what he needs!” She put up a strong façade, but when it came to her son, she was fierce, confident in her decisions, confident in her mistakes, never doubting the fact that she had done everything she could. Whenever it was for her son, she was ready to place all she had on the line of fire. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. I caught a glimpse of her eyes filling with tears before she turned away. I sighed and frowned at the sight of it.

“I know, I’m sorry. I went too far. But they are not different situations,” I saw from the corner of my eye that her head turned to see me, “It just never occurred to you that although I love my wife, I don’t plan on getting back together with her.”

“That’s ridiculous,” she muttered.

“What? Not wanting to hurt her anymore?”

“You had a fight, it’s nothing irreversible.”

“I already signed the divorce papers and mailed them,” I bit my inner cheek and tried to keep my breathing on track.

“You are an idiot,” she shook her head and chuckled in a derisive way, “What are you going to do then? Wither away with that girl who clearly doesn’t even make you happy?”

“For the days I have remaining, I might just do that,” I turned my head to look at her, “What?” I asked her with a smile, as her face seemed to go pale.

“You’re such an idiot.”

“I believe you’re right,” I gazed into her eyes. They were dark brown and huge. I know I signed the papers, but when I told Alicia I don’t want to move on, I meant it.

“How can you even love someone so much? You’re completely mad,” she turned away.

“So are you satisfied with how you spent your money?” she opened her umbrella as we stepped outside.

“So much even that I’d be happy to see you again.” I pocketed my hands in my jeans as her wide eyes stared at me.

“You want to do this again?” she was trying to keep away her rising smile.

“I said I want to help you, didn’t I?” I shrugged. She laughed in a mocking way. 

“Seems to me you’re the one who needs help, and not from me but from a professional,” she replied reproachfully.

“Do tell me once again that I’ve gone mad, I liked that part the most.” She stood silently while her smile reappeared.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” she turned and walked down the steps. 

“Wait! I don’t even know your name!” I shouted after her through the thickening rain once she was already walking down the street, her hair once again forming waves. 

Amazing lot by @sikoi !!!