xSanichi

“There was a group plotting your assasination, Lady Bunny. Did you expect me to let them live?”

He’s not supposed to call you by that silly moniker he gave you in your youth. If your father ever heard it slip from Lohen’s tongue, you know that he’d immediately cut it out. Lohen was allowed to remain in service to the royal court because of his results, but if it were up to your father, he’d be next to the gallows. You’ve tried as hard as possible to make this evident to Lohen—to tell him how much you fear what may come to pass should the true nature of your relationship be discovered—yet every night, he repeats the same actions.

He presents himself to your quarters, covered in blood or not, and etches every inch of himself into your skin so you’ll never forget him.

“Lohen,” you try to say. When his lips kiss their way up your arm, you again say, “Lohen.”

“Mm?” he answers, voice rumbling against your skin. “Yes, Princess?”

Heat flushes your face when his red eyes flick to yours. Swallowing back your trepidation, you say, “This has gone too far. It’s best if we stop this.”

He stares at you before pressing another warm, wet kiss to your forearm. Your head turns to follow him when he rises to his full height, your heart hammering in your chest. His arm curls around your hips, bringing you right into that blood-stained chestplate of his. With a charming smirk, he says, “That’s one order I’m afraid I can’t obey, Lady Bunny.”

You place your hand to his chest, but you lack the willpower to push him away from you. In the depths of your heart, you know the truth—you’re in love with the Royal Knight of the 5th Regiment, and you’ll never be able to deny it.

His kiss comes gentle, a stark contrast to the blood and violence his appearance entails. You lift your palms to his face, feeling the coarse texture of dried blood, but that doesn’t stop you from pulling him further into you. He tastes like the mint candies he makes for you in his free time, his sole hobby ever since the day you declared them to be your favorite. You melt into that sweet taste and wrap your arms around his neck with a soft moan.

The way his fingers tighten around your hips tells you what he’s thinking. Immediately, you withdraw from his kiss, trying to ward off the impulse you know you both feel. His face is flushed red from one ear to the other, and as he stares at your lips, soft pants fall from his own.

You smile. “You need to bathe.”

Lohen’s eyes flick back to yours. With a grin, he nods.

“You’re bathing with me. Right, milady?”

His playful smile reminds you of how you always played together in your youth, Lohen leading the way as you explored your parents’ royal garden. From that moment on, he swore his fealty to you, and as a lovesick child, you promised him your hand in exchange. You swore to always be there for one another, and were practically inseparable until your royal duties mandated it be so.

You’re nearly of age for marriage. As the sole inheritor of the crown, bachelors from all over the halidom have been scrambling over each other to win your affections. Your father has pushed suitor after suitor onto you, but at the end of every date, they’ve either changed their tune or mysteriously fallen ill. Perhaps your only saving grace in this situation is that your father loathes a weak man, and that Lohen is so adept at handling them.

You know he’s the reason that no suitor has met your father’s expectations yet. But when he holds you in his arms like this, you just don’t care. He’s the only man you see, from your waking moments to when you fall asleep, and you would rather suffer the wrath of the kingdom itself than imagine a life without him.

“I’ll bathe with you,” you say softly. “Will you wash my back for me?”

“If you wash my hair,” he answers. “And I’ll apply all the moisturizer you want afterwards.”

You laugh. “You’ll have to rub it in well this time. And not get distracted when you get to my thighs.”

His eyelids lower slightly, sending a pleasured thrill through your cheeks. In a low, suggestive tone, he says, “I’ll try my hardest, milady…but you’re asking an awfully difficult task of me.”

You giggle, but you take his hand in yours. With you taking the lead this time, you teasingly chirp, “Get distracted, and it’ll be off with your head.”

“Mm, I wouldn’t mind it if you were the one beheading me. Dying at the hands of an angel doesn’t sound too bad.”

You laugh again. Jokes aside, you tell him, “I’m not strong enough to behead you, Lohen.”

“Which is exactly why it would be perfect,” he chirps. “Slow, agonizing, and painful—all at the hands of my fairest lady. What more could your loyal vassal ask for?”

His humor is always so dark and violent, but it never fails to make you laugh. Perhaps that makes you somewhat twisted, but it’s never been something that’s bothered either of you. Of course, the high court would see to it that you spoke nothing of these dark themes when interacting with the other nobles, but with Lohen, you have the freedom to act how you like.

And he loves you for it. Not for your title as Princess, and not for your status in the kingdom. He simply loves you for you.

As soon as you cross into the bathroom, you turn to smile at him. He smiles back, and even though he’s covered in the blood of your enemies, your heart swells with adoration.

Just as he loves you for you, you love Lohen for him. No royal mandate will ever change that.

a/n: lohen is so fun to cook AUs up with... might do some more works in this "universe" in the future! anyway, if you liked what you read, please consider leaving a me a heart! (˶>⩊<˶) ♡ reblogs and comments appreciated! icymi! chai's last lohen post: etched into bone and soul, agbsihp ch. 6 (150+ notes) masterlist

“Let’s pack it up and get it back to mom,” his dad says. “You’ve never had rabbit stew before, have you? Your mom makes a mean one! Little spicy, though.”

His father grabs the deceased rabbit by its long ears, holding it up like it's a trophy. The joy that splits his face in half, the lifeless body of the animal grasped within his fist—none of it makes sense.

Just yesterday, Lohen had attempted to stomp a spider beneath his foot. His parents had admonished him, told him that nature was to be respected. His mother cradled that spider between a cup and a piece of paper, before letting it crawl away on its spindling legs beyond the reach of their home.

What’s a spider to a hare, anyway? One’s disgusting and creepy, while the other one’s actually got a semblance of endearment. How can his father take pride in slaughtering forest animals, then turn around and serve as the savior of the arachnids? Why do his parents insist on crafting guns and bows and arrows, only to warn Lohen never to point any of those weapons at another human being?

Shouldn’t all things die the same way?

“C’mon sport,” his father says, squeezing Lohen’s shoulder. “Let’s go make dinner.”

In an instant, Lohen decides that he hates hypocrites.

It was 17 years ago when Lohen was old enough to hold a gun, and his father tried to play peacemaker.

“Please,” his father begs. “He’s just a boy. Do what you want with me, but—!”

His father’s voice is suppressed by a loud, violent thud. Inside the car, Lohen’s eyes focus down on his hands, balled up into fists atop his thighs. He thinks of the silver revolver in his father’s glovebox, the AR-15 tucked away in its custom-modeled case for their next customer. In his left hand, he plays with the gleaming metal arrowhead he had stolen from his father’s workshop, feeling along its sharp edge with the pad of his fingers.

Why does his father choose not to make use of the weapons he’s spent years crafting? Why does he insist on saving the wretched spider, killing the frightened bunny, and sparing the criminals who dare to put a gun to his temple? It doesn’t make sense.

The car door is all but torn off of its hinges. Lohen quickly slots the arrowhead into his pocket, his throat tightening. He stares at the back of the passenger seat, losing himself in the pattern of the black fabric, and praying that he was anywhere else.

“Get out,” someone says to him.

They don’t yell, but they certainly don’t ask.

The revolver’s in the glovebox. If he hadn’t listened to his father, he could have already had it in his hands, pointed it at the scum who dared to threaten them. The AR-15 is in the trunk. The sight of that alone would make any normal person think twice.

Lohen chose to listen to his father, even though it didn’t make sense.

In an instant, Lohen decides that he hates cowardice.

It was 16 and a half years ago when Lohen was old enough to master target shooting, and his mother and father begged him to put the gun down.

“Lohen, dear,” his mother pleads. “This is too much.”

“Listen to your mother, Lohen,” his father echoes. “Hunting game is fine, but it’s becoming an obsession for you. You can’t just shoot every buck you see. We have to respect the rules of the forest.”

Lohen rubs the grease from his palm before reaching for another bullet. After slotting it into his rifle, he snaps the body shut, holding it at the ready for the next large animal he lays eyes on. His mother’s crying, his father’s trying to reason with him, but as soon as Lohen sees those antlers, he pulls the trigger.

Bang!

With a loud, violent thud, the buck falls to the floor. A wild rabbit runs past, hopping over the dead carcass before barreling straight into the brush.

“Lohen, please,” his mother cries. “You have to stop.”

“There won’t be a single buck left at this point!” his father snaps, standing before Lohen with his arms extended wide. “I thought I taught you to respect nature! If you kill all these animals, you’ll disrupt the food chain!”

Lohen’s eyes narrow.

“It’s okay to kill rabbits,” he says, “because there’s a lot of them. But it’s not okay to kill deer, because there’s less of them.”

“Yes! Exactly! That’s why there are mandated limits, son!”

“It’s not okay to kill bears,” he drones on, “because there are even less of them. But it’s okay to fish, because there’s a lot of fish in the river.”

His father looks unnaturally pale. His eyes turn down to the muzzle of Lohen’s gun before turning back to those of his son.

“Put the rifle down, Lohen.”

He doesn’t yell, but he certainly doesn’t ask.

A flash of brown catches Lohen’s eye. He turns his head, and about thirty meters across from him is a galloping doe.

Lohen lifts the rifle to his shoulder.

“Lohen—!”

Bang!

His mother falls to her knees, sobbing. His father tries to wrangle the rifle from Lohen’s hands, spewing curses as his face turns beet red, slinging words that he’s made Lohen swear never to say, lest he want to contribute all of his savings into a glass jar. He fights Lohen with the strength of an adult, and as the shorter, smaller one in this situation, Lohen is all but powerless.

It makes him sick.

“You’re grounded!” his father snarls. “By the will of Barbatos, Lohen—you’re grounded for a month!”

The man’s a hypocrite and a coward, but at the end of the day, he’s stronger. If a gun can be used to hunt rabbits, if a rifle can shoot holes through the body of a buck, if a single shell can fell even the largest of grizzly bears, then what’s stopping that gun from being used to hunt criminals? When that man and his flock of police officers flooded Eroch’s compound, why didn’t they shoot any and everything that moved on sight? Even Eroch understood what it took to eliminate a beast—he put that gun to his temple and shot.

It doesn’t make sense. His father, his mother, himself—none of it makes sense. Spare the spider, kill the hare, spare the buck, kill the fish, spare Eroch, kill nothing, nothing, nothing.

Lohen wonders what it sounded like when Eroch’s lifeless body fell to the ground. Was it a dull thud, like that of a 200 pound buck against the forest floor? Or was it a loud, violent sound, like that of Eroch’s fist against his father’s face? Ah, how he wishes he had been there to hear it, to see the spray of blood and brains, to take pleasure in knowing that something vile had been destroyed.

In an instant, Lohen decides that the rifle in his hands can handle more than just livestock.

It’s 8 PM at the Windblume Festival, and instead of wearing a spandex suit that makes you nauseous, you’re wearing a loose dress with your hand curled tightly in Lohen’s.

You stare at him as you walk, paying no attention to the crowd as it moves around you. The area’s abuzz with laughter and conversation, the sounds of children and drunk laughter coalescing over your head. You’re smiling at Lohen’s profile, your eyes fixed to the mole studding his cheek. His lips are moving and words are coming out, but all you can focus on is that charming face of his.

You grasp his hand tighter. Lohen’s head turns to yours, his eyes blinking.

“Tight grip you got there,” he says, a smirk rising to his face. “You know I won’t run away from you, right?”

Warmth floods your cheeks. Smiling still, you give him a small nod.

“This way, I’ll ensure it.”

Lohen laughs. Aside from his call of your name, aside from his confessions of love, that laugh of his is your favorite sound in the world.

“Wanna get a candied apple?” he asks. “The guy who sells ‘em here makes the best ones I’ve ever had.”

Your eyes flick to the line, which extends from the green-tarped stand to a solid ten meters into the distance. Wincing, you say, “No…I’m okay.”

“Hm. But I want one.”

The way he pouts at you makes your heart skip a beat. Your lips split into a toothy grin as laughter bubbles in your chest.

“Let’s get you one then,” you murmur.

“You’ll stand in that long ass line with me?” he asks. “Just for one candied apple?”

“You want it, don’t you?” You squeeze his hand firmly. “I don’t mind waiting.”

A touch of pink rises to his cheeks. He laughs, though it sounds somewhat different this time. In a low, rumbling murmur, he says, “I don’t mind waiting either.”

The way Lohen’s cheeks fill with bits of apple as he chews reminds you of the grazing chimpkin from your favorite childhood movie. A loyal animal companion to the princess, who almost always has something he’s nibbling on. You found that endearing as a child, and even in your adulthood, the thought fills you with joy.

“Want a bite?” Lohen says through his mouthful of apple.

You nod. He tilts the apple towards you, offering you the side he hasn’t yet bitten. With the hand that’s not tucked in his, you rotate the stick until you see the dripping white flesh.

Your teeth sink into it, right along the path Lohen had already carved. You look up at him, holding eye contact as you tear away a firm chunk. In your attempt to continue what he started, you’ve bitten too close to the core, but the seeds in your mouth don’t bother you. The taste is still sweet, even if those sharp bits scratch at your tongue every once in a while. 

Lohen’s eyes fall down to your lips. With a smile, he asks, “Do you like it?”

You nod, lifting your free hand to your mouth. Swiping the trail of apple juice running down your face with your fingers, you say, “It’s really good.”

“Told you. You should have gotten one too.”

“I doubt I could finish it. It’s a bit too sweet.”

“I could have finished it for you.”

Something about his words makes your ears tickle. As you lick the sticky pads of your fingers, you shyly look up at him.

Lohen’s hand grasps yours harder. He turns red before throwing his gaze aside.

Oh?

“Lohen,” you say, your lips curling into a smirk. “Are you thinking bad thoughts about me?”

“No,” he replies immediately. “Only good ones. Really, really good ones.”

You giggle before chancing a quick glance around you. Of course, there are eyes everywhere—Mond’s most popular festival isn’t just that in name alone. But the crowd moves too much. No one stays stagnant, and even when you catch a glimpse of someone, in only an instant, they’re forever gone from your memory.

You bite your lip and lean closer to Lohen. Coming close enough for your lips and his ear to be a hair away from touching, you throatily whisper, “Wanna share those good thoughts with me?”

“Bun,” he laughs, turning almost as red as he used to every night at the cabaret. “We can save that for later.”

You want to tease him more, to push him further. Something in you wants to place your hand to his thigh, but then you’ll have to stop holding his hand. You almost feel like you owe it to him, to give him a little bit of excitement when he shows a glimmer of sexual interest in you. On your past dates with clients, that’s how you got the biggest tips.

You freeze.

“Hm? You okay?”

Lohen’s hand tightens even further around yours. To the point where it almost hurts.

“I…I’m fine,” you whisper. “I’m sorry.”

“…What are you sorry for?”

You don’t want to look at him. He might look at you with those piercing eyes of his, the ones that can withdraw whatever piece of information they can find from the confines of your skull. If he knew you were thinking of other clients—

—past clients.

If he knew you were thinking of past clients, you might upset him. You don’t like it when he gives you those sad red eyes.

“Can we walk around?” you ask, forcing a smile to your face. “I want to see more of the booths.”

His teeth crunch into the apple. Chewing slowly, his eyes survey your face with a modicum of confusion to them. When he swallows, losing those cute chipmunk-cheeked pockets of his, he gives you a nod.

“One more bite?” he asks with a grin. He extends that sugar sweet apple before you again, shining with caramel and eroded by his gnawing teeth.

Your mouth is opening before you even think to move it. Once again, you tear into the white flesh of the apple, but the fibrous core scratches your gums just above the back of your teeth. You pull back with a wince, your hand flying to your mouth.

“Shit,” Lohen says with a blink. “You bit right through the core, Bunny.”

“It’s okay,” you say through your mouthful of sweet apple and sharp shells. It hurts, but you tell him, “It still tastes good.”

You’ve been to the Windblume Festival in the past, but you’ve never had this much fun. Lohen brings you around to all the popular stalls, buying you little trinkets and expensive handcrafted perfumes, all without you asking, or really even needing them. Whenever his eyes catch one of those shooting games, which you were certain were rigged as a child, he separates your hands for just a moment to strike the opposing targets down. He carries all your souvenirs in multiple bags on his arm, but he lets you cradle the big plush bunny he won for you underneath your own.

You know that Lohen’s perfect, but with every little reminder of it, you adore him more and more.

“Oh, yeah,” Lohen chirps, “there’s a petting zoo, too. If I'm remembering things right, I think they’ve got some bunnies.”

Your face is warm. “…I want to see them.”

He smirks. “Your wish is my command, Princess.”

He brings your joined hands to his lips, kissing your knuckles like he’s your loyal vassal. You smile so hard that your cheeks hurt. Following alongside him through the ever growing crowd, you see the signs with hand drawn bunnies, sheep, and ponies. The arrows point further down the road of stalls, designating the path for you and Lohen’s next venture.

“I want to go to the petting zoo!” you hear a woman exclaim.

“Nah, babe,” the man at her side says. “I know it seems cute, but I heard that they treat those animals pretty bad.”

Your ears perk at that. You turn your head, looking at the man and woman standing across from each other right by the petting zoo’s directional sign. The man’s rubbing the back of his neck, grimacing, and the woman you presume to be his girlfriend gives him a big frown.

“Oh no,” she says. “How so?”

“Well, someone told me that outside of these petting zoos, they keep ‘em all locked up in cages. They only let ‘em out when they’re making money off of ‘em.”

“That’s terrible…”

“I know. We can find something else to do, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Your lips part. You turn to Lohen with the intent to tell him what you overheard, but the way he’s smiling stops you in your tracks. He looks so happy next to you, and you don’t want to ruin that.

You swallow back your words. You know he’d like it more if you smiled, so you do.

“God, I got so many cute pics of you,” Lohen says, his thumb scrolling across his phone screen. “I don’t even know which one to make my wallpaper next. Maybe I’ll set a different one for every screen…?”

He shows you the picture he took with you holding a big grey rabbit, your eyes closed and teeth showing through your smile. It surprises you, how happy you look, grinning back at yourself. It makes you wring Lohen’s hand and smile.

“Fresh apple cider!” a man yells, strolling past you with a paper sign held over his head. “Dawn Winery’s finest, available while supplies last! Get it before it’s gone, folks!”

You and Lohen look at each other. At the same time, you both laugh.

“Wait right here,” he says, his eyes twinkling. “I’ll go get us some.”

“Huh?” Your hand grasps his harder. “I’ll go with you.”

“I already made you wait in one long ass line with me,” he chirps. “Besides, you look tired. I’ll be quick, I promise.”

He kisses your cheek, releases your hand, and you instinctively reach for him. Lohen winks at you before striding off into the distance, disappearing behind the bustle of the crowd.

Your fingers slowly curl into a fist. You look down at the blue stuffed bunny tucked under your left arm before hugging it to your chest.

Admittedly, you are a bit tired. Your whole life, you’ve never had much of a battery for social events and lively outings like this. Lohen told you it wasn’t really his thing either, but he looks so natural here. He speaks for you when you stumble over your words, and whenever you get overwhelmed, he brings you to a spot to sit down. You haven’t known each other for long, but somehow Lohen knows your every tell, like he’s studied your behavior for years and committed it to memory.

You like that about him. You should make more efforts to do the same for him.

“Woah,” you hear someone say. “You’re cute.”

At first, you don’t register that he’s talking to you. A lithe, sandy-haired man plops down onto the bench beside you, hands spread across the seat with his fingers dangerously close to your leg. Your eyes widen when he looks at you, his deep brown irises shimmering like he’s just spotted gold.

“I’m Tod,” he says. “What’s your name?”

“Um,” you stammer, feeling cold hands grip at your throat. “I have a boyfriend.”

“Hm? Well, he’s not here, is he? What kind of guy leaves a cutie like you sitting by herself?”

He’s grinning, like it’s something to be proud about. Like Lohen’s presence in your life isn’t an obstacle, but just a carnival game you’re playing with him.

“Can you please,” you say hoarsely, “leave.”

“Playing hard to get, huh? I like a woman who gives me a challenge.”

He leans closer to you. Your throat is tightening, your skin crawling with disgust. You want to move, you want to scream, but in the back of your mind, you can’t forget how that man’s fingers wrapped around you, you can’t forget how he seized.

You’re crying.

“Huh?” Tod asks. “Woah, woah, sorry, babe. Hey, calm down, will you?”

You let out a choked sob. Mashing your palms to your eyes, trying to compose yourself, you bawl, “Please go.”

“…Bun?”

As soon as you hear Lohen’s voice, your breath stills. Slowly, hesitantly, you turn your tear-blurred eyes onto his. Those sweet red eyes of his, the ones you love to the moon and back, don’t blink.

They don’t waver.

They’re a raging sea of fire.

Then, they’re sweet again.

“Here you go,” he murmurs, handing you a cold plastic cup. “Hold mine for a sec too.”

Your hands tremble when you set the bunny aside to accept the cider instead. You don’t look at the man at your side, but you can tell that he’s focused on Lohen now. They’re probably staring at each other, sizing each other up. The man at your side has at least half a foot over Lohen, and perhaps because of that, he ever so casually says, “My bad, man. I was just trying to say hi.”

Lohen smirks. “Yeah? And look how that went. This how you go around trying to make friends?”

“It usually doesn’t end like this.” You hear the man’s clothes rustle as he stands. “Didn’t mean to upset your girlfriend.”

“Eh, it’s alright. She and I need to meet more people anyway.” He grins, holding his hand out to Tod. “I’m Lohen.”

Your eyes widen. You’re watching Lohen’s face as he shakes hands with the other man, noticing how warm his expression looks. It’s certainly not the face of a man who swore he’d protect you, and certainly not the actions of one who swore he’d kill for you.

But you trust him. You trust him with your heart, your soul, your whole life; if he wants it.

You need to trust him.

“Bun and I were going to watch the fireworks,” Lohen says. “Wanna come with?”

He gathers all your bags on one arm before holding his hand out for his cider. You pass it to him, and the way his fingers brush yours makes you feel safe. With another swipe at your eyes, you smile at him.

“I know a really good spot,” Lohen says, his eyes trained on you. “You can practically see everything up there.”

He offers you his hand. You reach out and take it.

“Oh…nah,” Tod says, sounding awkward. “I’m not a fan of third-wheeling. Thanks, though.”

“You should come.” Lohen’s smile persists. “You won’t feel like a third-wheel at all—promise.”

Something feels off. Maybe Tod can sense it, or maybe he can’t, but either way, he asks, “You sure about that?”

“Uh-huh. You don’t mind, right, Bun?”

You do, but you shake your head like you don’t.

“It’s settled then. Come on, Tod, we’re friends now!” Lohen grins charmingly. “Isn't it normal for friends to go watch the fireworks together?”

“...Sure is,” he answers, reflecting Lohen’s grin with one of his own. “Guess I’ll bite.”

Lohen’s grin widens.

For some reason, that look gives you chills.

Lohen sets your bags at the base of a tree, which looms over the hill you stand upon. Your eyes run over the long, sturdy branches and chlorophyll green leaves, and when one falls, you reach your hand out to catch it.

“Give me one sec, Bun,” Lohen says. “I promise I’ll be right back.”

“What?” The leaf falls from your hand. You immediately stiffen and shake your head. “No, don’t go anywhere. I thought we were going to watch the fireworks.”

“We are,” he tells you. “I promise, this’ll be quick.”

That’s what he said last time. And look how that had ended up for you.

“Tod,” Lohen says. “Gotta ask you something. Bun’s a bit shy about it, so…mind walking with me for a sec?”

He’s winking at the sandy-haired man, and you don’t know why. Something about the way Tod’s eyes look you up and down before he gives Lohen a grin makes you feel nauseous. You don’t like the implication behind Lohen’s words, but at the same time, they sound awfully hollow.

“Be right back, pretty girl,” Lohen murmurs, kissing your cheek.

It saddens you, but you let him go.

Leaning against the white fence that separates the top of the hill from the city below, your fingers curl around the chipped edges. Lohen and Tod walk off, chatting about indiscernible things, and you’re left alone with your thoughts.

You keep them quiet.

The sky has been darkening gradually, but by the time the first firework blooms into the sky, its vibrant colors stand out against the black sky. The pop of the red sparks are deafening, but their beauty makes up for it all the same. Another firework launches into the sky with a sizzle, and when a plume of smoke ignites, it bursts into a dazzling series of blue with a loud bang!

Multicolored fireworks blast through Mond’s nighttime sky. They’re beautiful, but you wish Lohen was watching them with you too.

When the night drags on, when the show grows grander, your skin starts to turn cold. A lump forms in your throat, and you start nervously drumming your fingers along the fence. Flecks of white paint stick to your fingertips, peeling away to reveal the cheap wood beneath.

What’s taking him so long?

“Boo.”

When Lohen speaks directly into your ear, you scream. A firework pops at the same time, completely drowning out the sound of your voice. He laughs, curling an arm around your hips, and says, “Sorry, sorry. I couldn’t help it.”

Your eyes move to his vacant side. “Where’s Tod?”

Lohen smirks. “Don’t worry about it. I just gave him a piece of my mind, is all. Told him to fuck off.”

When his face turns fully to yours, you notice something splattered against his cheek. It’s a small dot of something, that drips down his face and over the mole under his eye—.

No. You don’t see anything. His face is clean. And even if Lohen’s words sound hollow, you make yourself believe them.

You need to believe them.

Lohen turns, showing you the left side of his face only. With a fond smile, he looks to the sky above and says, “It’s a good spot, isn’t it?”

Your arm wraps around his hips, holding him as tightly as he holds you. Nodding, you say, “It’s perfect.”

His hand strokes you up and down. As pink fireworks burst into streams of light, they bathe his face in their soft, rose color.

You’re leaning forward before you even realize it.

He turns his face.

Bang!

As the fireworks pop over your heads, your mouth opens to Lohen’s.

Bang!

His hands grip your hips. You feel the rumble of his moan, tickling your mouth as he kisses you back. Your hands rise to his face, pressing into his warm, soft cheeks, which are dry on both sides. Nothing smears against your palm, and even if it does, you don’t care.

Bang!

The way he leans into you, the pressure of his body combined with his kiss, sets your heart ablaze.

Bang!

Lohen’s lips withdraw from yours. A shimmering strand connects you both, until it bursts like the fireworks overhead.

Even under the deafening pops and sizzles, you know what he’s saying.

“I love you.”

Your fingers slot into his hair, and you bring his mouth back to yours.

It’s nearly midnight, and you’re in Lohen’s condo, naked before him with your hands pressed to the mattress beneath you. His eyes stare at your chest, a smile rising to his face as color blooms in his cheeks.

“I, uh…” He steps closer, placing a gentle hand to your knee. “I had a lot of fun today. Thanks for coming with me.”

The way his thumb brushes your skin gives you pleasurable chills. You smile back up at him, lifting his free hand to your cheek.

“I had a lot of fun too,” you tell him. “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Of course.”

The silence between you stretches on. You stare at him, he stares at you, and in an instant, you know what he’s thinking.

Slowly, you drag his hand from your face to your neck. You guide his palm across the flat of your chest before directing him to your breast. It doesn’t take much encouragement for him to start squeezing.

“Bun,” he says, his voice quiet. “For a while now, I’ve kinda been wondering about something. And if the answer’s no, that’s fine.”

Your heart skips a beat. Lohen gropes you beneath his palm, and your cunt throbs. You watch the curl of his fingers, your breath coming out shaky between your parted lips. When you look back up at him, you watch his throat bob.

“I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable,” he murmurs. “But I’ve just been wondering…if you want me to put it in this time?”

Your breath catches in your throat. You look down at his pelvis, where his dick is standing, his pink tip spewing precum already. It’s not a sight you haven’t seen before, but something about thinking of it inside of you, scares you.

But you trust him.

You need to—.

“I-if you want to,” you stammer, “then, yes.”

“I…only wanna do it if you want to,” he replies. “If you don’t, that’s fine.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurt. “It’s not that I don’t want to, I’ve just never…I’ve never done that before.”

His eyes widen. The way he squeezes your breast is so hard, it almost hurts.

“You’ve never…had sex?”

Your ears burn. You want to tell him that you’ve only ever used your mouth or your hands, but you don’t want to bring up the past. When Lohen leans in, his lips brushing the bridge of your eyebrow, you flinch and squeak, “I haven’t.”

Both of his hands lift to your face. He presses a kiss so chaste, but so firm to your forehead, it feels like there’s something sacred between you. His breath quivers when he says, “So I’d be your first.”

“My…my only.”

The way he looks at you carries a weight you’ve never seen from him before. Your face burns from the implication of your words, but you don’t regret them. As long as Lohen will have you, you don’t intend to look for companionship anywhere else. He’s all that matters to you now, and as far as you’re concerned, he’s all that matters for the foreseeable future.

Because he loves you. You’ve never known love, and you certainly don’t know how it’s supposed to feel, but this feels right.

It needs to feel right. It needs to feel right. It needs to feel—.

“Do…do you want to?” Lohen asks, pulling you out of your thoughts. “It’s not a big deal if you don’t. I can wait.”

No, no—you’re tired of making him wait. Your hands tremble, but you grip his wrists firmly when you say, “I want to.”

“Don’t feel pressured just because I asked—.”

“I want to,” you repeat, squeezing his arms in your hands. Without a shred of hesitation, you say, “I want you to fuck me, Lohen.”

“Oh,” he answers, his face turning red. He lets out a nervous laugh, saying, “You’ve never talked to me like that before.”

You smile. “You don’t like it?”

“I fuckin’ love it,” he laughs. “You’re sexy, Bun.”

When he presses his lips to yours, you laugh against him. He leans forward, you plop onto the mattress, and with his body on top of yours, he lavishes you with kisses. Your arms reach around his back, pulling him as close to you as you possibly can. You feel him against your mound, hard and leaking, throbbing every so often. It feels good, when his hips shift a little and he rubs against you. You’re sure that when it’s inside you, it’ll feel a thousand times better.

“I’ll warm you up first,” he murmurs into your neck. “Get you good and wet for me.”

His words alone can make you flow like a river. When he sucks at your neck, you let out a hot breath of air, turning your head to give him access. His kisses are gentle, and he reaches back for your legs, hiking them across the mattress.

“What works best for you?” he asks. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Th-this is fine,” you whisper.

“You can be a little selfish sometimes, you know? I really wanna pamper you tonight, Princess.”

The way he crawls back, his kissing lips descending down your throat, has your heart racing. You’re breathless when he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, and when he gives you a firm suck, you whine his name.

“You’ve already…you’ve already pampered me,” you pant out. “All those souvenirs…paying my bills…”

“That’s nothing,” he insists. Running his tongue along your nipple, watching you as he does, he hotly says, “It’s only what you deserve, Bun.”

“What I deserve…?”

In all honesty, you’ve never thought about affection that way. It’s always been a one-way street for you—pretend to like a guy and he might give you an extra tip. Smile at him during a handjob, show a flash of your tits, and maybe he’ll add five or six extra dollars. You’ve never thought about yourself, or what you needed. You certainly didn’t think about what you deserved.

If Lohen’s telling you that you deserve to be treated like this, then don’t you?

“Ah,” you moan, caught off guard by the way his teeth rub your nipple between them. “Th-that feels good.”

He brings a hand to your other breast, giving you a firm squeeze. Your back arches into his touch, into his hot mouth, and as he licks away at your skin, your legs begin to squirm around him. You can tell that you’re soaking, but it feels so good that you don’t want him to stop. He’s slow with you, loving with you, and for the first time in a long time, you feel like you deserve him.

Your fingers run through his hair. You grip hard, whimpering for him. Lohen continues to shower you with attention, not stopping once, not even for air. The way his breath puffs through his nose is hot and sharp, sending goosebumps across the skin of your chest. His hand plays with you, his mouth caresses you, and with a rock of your hips, you bump yourself into his stomach.

“Lohen,” you gasp. “I think that’s good enough.”

“Mm?” His eyes flick up to yours, burning red things that make your knees weak. “You’re ready for me?”

“Y-yeah,” you answer, your face burning. “Here, let’s…in my purse. Lube and condoms.”

“I thought you only had lube,” Lohen says, reaching over for your bag on the nightstand.

“I…when we started dating, I…” You trail off, hiding your mouth behind your palm. “I got some just in case.”

“Oh? So you’ve been thinking about this for a while.” He flashes you a toothy grin. “Naughty, naughty, Bun.”

You giggle. He withdraws a blue strip of condoms and a couple packets of lube, watching you as he rips them open. You sit up on your elbows, watching him with a fond smile.

Lohen holds up the small ring of plastic, raising an eyebrow at you. He points at his dick, and you laugh.

“I think you need some more sex ed,” you murmur.

“Oh, yeah? Why don’t you teach me something then?”

He holds it out to you, smirking. You shuffle to the edge of the bed, accepting it from him.

“I can fit my whole fist in here,” you tell him as you lower the rubber to his tip. “I know we can fit your dick in it.”

He lets out a snort. “Wonder what else we can fit my dick in.”

“Stop,” you giggle. “There you go. I told you it would work.”

You reach for the lube next. Just like that first night you ever put your hands on him, you squeeze it into your palm before running it along his shaft. Lohen’s lips curl into a coy smile, and when you rub your hand up and down, he stifles a grunt.

“Feels kinda weird,” he says. “I like it better without it.”

“If you’re putting your dick in me,” you purr, “you’re definitely not going without it, sir.”

“That’s fair. You’re not on birth control, right?”

“I don’t have sex, Lohen.”

“Hey, as far as I know, there’s lots of reasons that girls take birth control. It’s not always for a man.”

You laugh. “You’re such a feminist, Detective Lohen. So thoughtful.”

“You like that, don’t you?” he shoots back with a grin.

Admittedly, you do. Maybe a bit too much, because even though he hasn’t been touching you, your cunt’s still throbbing for him. He kisses your forehead, and in a low murmur says, “Lay back down.”

You do as he says. He clambers over you, sticking his fingers into another packet of lube. With a charming smile, he asks, “How many do you think you can handle?”

“Um,” you say, recalling the various nights you’ve pleasured yourself. “Honestly, you might be able to just put it in. I’ve, uh…I haven’t fucked anyone, but…I’ve used…dildos.”

You feel embarrassed when it comes out of your mouth. Lohen doesn’t look at you any differently, though.

“What did you think about?”

Right after he asks that, two of his fingers curl into you. You feel them stretch your insides, your hands flying to his shoulders. The base of his palm sits against your clit, and as he watches you expectantly, those fingers move in and out of you.

“N-nothing really,” you mutter. “I mean…just the general concept of…someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

Those fingers of his curl deeper. Your teeth chew at your lower lip.

“Someone nice,” you whisper. “And handsome. That loves me.”

“Mm. Sounds like before you even met me…you were thinking of me.”

His fingers rub harder. You whimper, your nails digging into his shoulders.

“I was,” you whine. “And now I’m so happy. Because you love me.”

“Uh-huh,” he murmurs, his hot breath ghosting over your lips. “I love you more than anything, Bun.”

Your legs squirm again, and when he kisses you, you let out an unrestrained moan. Lohen’s fingers pull out of you, and with a light touch of his glans to your folds, he rubs you up and down.

“How about it?” he asks between kisses. “You ready for me, Bun?”

“Yes,” you gasp. “Put it in, Lohen. Put it—in.”

Your head leans back into the pillow. The stretch of his head, pushing you open, making you part for him, makes your legs flail around his hips. Lohen’s shushing you as he slowly presses forward, and when his lips kiss your cheek, you realize that you’re crying. There’s something euphoric about opening yourself for him like this, so good that you can’t help but bawl. Pain, pleasure, your overflowing affections for him—they all have you clawing at his shoulders like he’s trying to leave you, anchoring yourself into his skin so that he’ll never run away.

“Oh, my God,” you gasp, blinking your tear-blurred eyes. “Lohen, that feels so good.”

“Y-yeah,” he grunts, his face a deep shade of rose. “Bun, you’re…fuckin’ tight.”

He withdraws his hips, and you practically throw your lower body around him. With all the strength you can muster, you pull him back into you, and when his dick slaps into your weeping hole, you let out a satisfied whine.

“Sh-shit,” Lohen mumbles. “Wait, Bun, calm down. I don’t wanna…” His throat bobs. “I don’t wanna cum yet.”

The way his fingers claw into the sheets by your head, how his face is beet red like the first time you laid your hands on him—it’s all so stimulating, that you could almost cum with him. He slows the draw of his hips, you ease your leglock around him, and when Lohen’s mouth descends onto yours, you moan his name against his own tongue.

“You feel so good, pretty girl,” he whispers fiercely. “Fuck, this is just as good as I always thought it would be. No…maybe even better.”

“Lohen,” you whimper. “You make me feel so good.”

“Good,” he whispers back, pressing his hands to your cheeks. “It’s what you deserve, Princess.”

Your voice comes out disjointed, high-pitched, and breathy. You claw at his back, pull him forward once more with the curl of your legs. Lohen practically slams into you, and that sensation has you over the moon for him.

“Fuck,” he says, his voice rough. “Bunny, I love you. I wanna take care of you forever.”

“Kiss me,” you beg. “Please.”

He doesn’t make you wait. Just like the knight he proclaims himself to be, he never makes his lady wait. If he does, it’s only because he’s protecting her. Because he knows what’s best for both him and his liege.

You love him.

Lohen’s hips stop hard. His voice comes out strained, higher-pitched than it normally is.

“Fuck Bun,” he gasps. “Sorry, I’m…I’m fucking cumming.”

His eyes roll back, and your cunt throbs around him. With loud, desperate-sounding moans, Lohen cums in you, his body pressing down into yours. His hips jerk, like he’s trying to push it in, but the rubber that separates your womb from his tip won’t allow it. Regardless, that feeling, the rub of his girth against the base of your clit, even through the barrier of plastic, makes you whimper for him.

“God, you’re so pretty,” he whines. “You’re the love of my life, Bunny.”

He’s yours. You know it in your heart.

“Lohen,” you whimper, your eyes pressing shut. “Lohen, you…a little more, please—.”

When his hand reaches between your legs, you lean your head back and wail. He rubs your clit hard, maintaining the intensity as his dick remains within you. Your hole throbs and clenches, desperate for him to thrust again, but with that loving rub of his, your body knows no better. Gasping with tears flowing down your cheeks, you grab Lohen by the hair and cry.

“I really…!” you whimper, your body tensing with release. “I really…! Lohen, I really…!”

“Shh,” he whispers. “It’s okay.”

Fuck, you’re screaming for him. It’s so loud, and you’re so embarrassed, but for some reason, you can’t say those three simple words? He’s pouring his heart into you, making you feel like a goddess, and what do you have to say in return? You know you love him—you love him more than you love existing, more than you love breathing. With all he does for you, he deserves to know that.

“I l—.”

His lips press to yours. Your thoughts melt away under the heat of his breath, and with your hands pressed to his cheeks, you cry. Lohen’s hand is still moving, your hips are still flailing, and when you cum a second time, you bite his lip so hard that you taste blood.

He bites you back.

Fuck, does that hurt. But you’d be lying if you said it didn’t feel good.

You part from each other. The red stamp of your teeth mars Lohen’s lip, as you’re sure that his mars yours. The ring around his mouth, the ring around yours—they’re a perfect match, aren’t they?

Just like you and him.

You smile amidst your tears, letting out a laugh. Lohen laughs back before flopping on top of you. The way he kisses your face feels so tender, so intimate. You hug him so tight, you don’t know if his back or your arms will give out first.

“I love you, Bun,” he croons into your ear. “I promise I’ll never let anyone hurt you.” With a soft kiss to your face, he whispers, “I’ll always keep you safe, Bunny.”

You close your eyes and smile.

After all, you believe him.

You dream of Tohler. You dream of Allec. You dream of Tod. All three of them leer at you like wolves encroaching upon an isolated lamb. You’re chained to the ground by restraints you can’t fight, and when you feel the touch of Tohler’s hand on your thigh, you scream. Allec grabs your hair, Tod unfastens his belt, and you’re dribbling snot and tears down your face as it all unfolds.

Bang! Bang! Bang! Three shots. Three fireworks. They pop over your head, sparkling and shimmering, and by the time you look down, three men lay dead at your feet.

Your restraints are gone. Smoke trails out of the tip of Lohen’s silver revolver, like it’s the butt of a cigarette. It’s hot here, like the stuffy breakroom at the cabaret. You catch your reflection in the vanity mirror, and all the bulbs along its borders are dead, save one. It flickers, repeatedly thrusting your form in and out of darkness, only for you to eventually be obscured by Lohen’s back.

Even though you’re filthy; even though you’re dirty, sinful, full of shame; he cups your face in his hands and kisses you.

You wake up in tears.

Lohen’s shirt is clutched in your hand. With a shaky exhale, you realize he’s still here with you.

You bury your head back into his shoulder. Listening to the steady, slow beat of his heart, you stroke your palm across his chest.

“I love you,” you rasp out.

Then, your eyes fall closed.

if you made it this far, thank you! i hope you enjoyed! I plan to post Chapter 7 on 8/19! c: masterlist | fic masterlist