sometimes I wanna say fuck you to your face. Bc this is where it all started.
But itās fine, one day Iāll get back to me. Until then Iāll keep crawling.
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sometimes I wanna say fuck you to your face. Bc this is where it all started.
But itās fine, one day Iāll get back to me. Until then Iāll keep crawling.

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Mental health is realā¦.
I just want everyone to know I tried.
forgive yourself. forgive yourself for all the versions you couldn't become. forgive yourself for the wrong things you said. forgive yourself for not knowing any better at certain point of your life. for fucking things up so much that the grief still haunts you. forgive yourself for the darker and shadowed parts of you. you have to learn to integrate all parts of you, even the ones you desperately want to disown. it'll be alright.
How come everyone else gets second chancesā¦.. then thereās me. And I wasnāt even the one that did anything.

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Berlin interior
The moon dressed as Saturn.

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Whew child, I cannnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaah.
They already do.
Holy fuck.
Everyone is insanely annoying me today.
- started this draft a while back & tho draft applies to life today.
Something I wish more people would understandā¦
Whatās her name?
Her name is Jane Elliott. She was a former schoolteacher, now sheās anti-racism activist, feminist and LGBT activist. Sheās tiny, mean, and boss as fuck.
Sheās known for her āblue eyes-brown eyes experimentā where she divides a group of volunteers from the blues and the browns. The minute the people walk in, the blue-eyes know theyāre not welcomed. She makes them wait in a separate room, gives them shitty chairs, bad food, and shows them less respect. And (obviously) it causes all sorts of discomfort and rage, but thatās precisely her point. It doesnāt help that most blue-eyed volunteers happen to be white as well. Sometimes they get the message, sometimes they donāt and leave, sometimes crying or screaming. And Jane Elliott says thatās exactly what minorities want to do everyday of their lives, but they simply cannot do.
Did I mention sheās boss as fuck?
I love this woman.
I honestly just donāt get it.
Canāt literally never make anyone happy⦠not even myself.

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I wish I would stop being so hard on my damn self.
Or even so scared for the next steps.
jimajeen