☽༺𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓇𝓇𝓎༻☾

A Wooyoung Fanfic

Content Warning: Themes of depression

Word Count: 1.80k

Tags: @phantom-nights, @it-ar3-l3a, and @yuyueater

Author Note: Hi! I apologize if there are any errors with spelling or grammar; I tried my best to fix all of them before posting. This is my third work posted here. This idea came to me after seeing a quote about how flowers will always bloom again. I hope you enjoy this story :) Please don't forget to like, reblog, and comment!

They say flowers come back every spring after the harsh winter. An unbreakable cycle. Sometimes they bloom brighter, with colors jumping off the petals. Other times they bloom a little dull, almost begging for more sun. Once a flower blooms, it will inevitably wilt. Slowly losing their color, becoming too fragile to touch. During the wilting of a flower, there is beauty, still something to love even in its worst state. It's a certain soul to be able to see that beauty. Wooyoung didn't know why she looked at him the way she did, almost like he hung the stars in the night sky. Or why she still chose to be there when he couldn't even stand to look at himself. One thing was clear to him. Seoyeon was special.

There was always an expectation to be met every waking second. A version of yourself that the world wanted to see. Not one excuse was good enough to explain why you couldn't meet the expectation so clearly laid out before you. Really, at the end of the day, this was the job that Wooyoung signed up for. The life he chose to live. So why should he complain? He gave the world and the people close to him exactly what they wanted in the beginning. Over time, that was more difficult. He felt trapped within his own skin, like there was no way out, and it was slowly killing him on the inside. He was supposed to be the bubbly member who teased everyone and lit up the room with his energy. However, he simply couldn't. That was becoming harder to maintain every day. Deep down inside, Wooyoung wanted it all to stop.

Even away from the cameras, the act that Wooyoung created wasn't easily dropped. It wasn't because he didn't trust his members; he did. They were his family, the people whom he would never trade away. But he didn't want to worry them. They all had worked so hard over the year to get here. Asking for a break felt selfish. So he never spoke up, allowing silence to enter his life. At first, the silence felt safe to Wooyoung. The silence didn't demand anything of him, nor did it expect any silly behavior. Instead, it allowed him to think. After a while, the silence would leave too much room for his thoughts. It would wrap itself around him often in the late hours. After the sun settled below the horizon and the stars danced in the sky, the silence would arrive. A sense of isolation and fear would slowly settle into his bones. It kept him awake even when his body begged for sleep. Each night he became more exhausted than the previous. He could feel himself withering away and losing himself more each night. It felt too late to save himself.

Seoyeon noticed the quiet shift within Wooyoung. It wasn't a dramatic shift by any means. If anything, it was one where you notice all the small things that painted a big picture. The sparkle that once filled his eyes was duller. Late-night texts and calls became less frequent. The man who loved physical touch seemed scared by brief touches, as if they would deeply wound him if they lasted a second too long. The Wooyoung that stood on stage in front of thousands and in front of her was just a ghost of himself. It wasn't her Wooyoung. Seoyeon wasn't sure exactly what caused this shift. There were a hundred possibilities of why an idol would be struggling silently. She assumed that everything was starting to feel like too much the more recognition Ateez got. Leaving Wooyoung to feel more pressure than he ever expected. It pained Seoyeon to see Wooyoung become a ghost of himself.

This silent battle was pushing Wooyoung away from Seoyeon. Wooyoung didn't necessarily want to push her away. If anything, she was the one person who made him feel the most normal. The friendship they had was special. One where they could easily go on for hours, cracking jokes and then switch into deep conversations. Seoyeon always supported Wooyoung's career and cheered so loudly for him from the sidelines. She never asked for anything and never cared about the fame. She loved Wooyoung for his personality and admired him for all of his hard work. It wasn't hard to trust someone like Seoyeon. Wooyoung wanted to protect her. He didn't know what else to do besides let silence find its way into their friendship.

The quiet can be terrifying if you allow it in too often. Seoyeon hated the silence that occurred between them. She didn't want to overstep with Wooyoung. Sometimes people just need space in order to get better. However, the space that was occurring seemed to have the complete opposite effect. Every clip she saw of Wooyoung online, he seemed less present. When she tried to reach out to Wooyoung, she could see the wall that between them slowly start growing more. If there was one thing she knew about Wooyoung, it was that he needed someone. She wasn't going to let him suffer alone in the silence any longer.

Night had fallen upon the city of Seoul many hours ago. The city had settled into a natural calmness under the stars. Wooyoung was up watching the city below from the kitchen window. His head felt too loud tonight with everything that he should do and should have done already. It's been two months of this silent battle. Two months of unraveling behind closed doors when no one else was around. That silence didn't go unnoticed. Seoyeon reached out every day. Countless text messages, audio notes, and voicemails filled Wooyoung's phone. He saw every single one of them, but never had it in him to respond properly. Everything she sent wasn't asking for anything. Most of the time, it was a simple "I'm here if you need anything" or "Thinking of you." Other times, it was a short "I'm proud of you." Wooyoung knew he was wrong for not responding, and it haunted him every night.

Though Seoyeon wasn't angry with Wooyoung. In all honesty, she didn't think she could ever be upset with Wooyoung. She would never fault someone for struggling. All she wanted to do now was show up and be more present for Wooyoung. At first, she started with messages. She sent a couple throughout the day to remind Wooyoung that she cared. A couple of weeks passed before she started sending home-cooked meals over to the dorms for Wooyoung and other members after long schedules. Ones that were made with care and comforted the soul. Eventually, she started visiting the dorms to check in on Wooyoung. When she arrived, she never asked him to explain himself. Instead, she would sit beside him in silence for hours just so he wasn't alone. She made sure everything was cleaned, that he had food to eat, and a cozy place to escape to. Wooyoung didn't know why she did all this without being asked. Every time she showed up, something warm settled within his heart.

"You know I don't understand why you do all this for me," Wooyoung said quietly as they sat together.

"You don't have to understand, but one day you will," Seoyeon responded softly.

Slowly, with time, Wooyoung was starting to feel like himself again. Each day, the silence wasn't as suffocating as the day before. Expectations didn't feel unachievable, and the pressure was bearable. Seoyeon continued to show up every day for Wooyoung. She celebrated all the small steps towards the right path. She noticed the sparkle in his eyes slowly becoming brighter again. His energy became more lively without being forced out of him. He was blossoming into such a beautiful and stronger version of himself. She couldn't help but fall in love with him more. One day, she hoped he could see himself the way she saw him. Wooyoung started to notice the butterflies that filled his stomach when Seoyeon was around. He had felt the butterflies when they first met years ago, but back then he ignored them. After the past couple of months, he realized that Seoyeon was more than just a friend. She was someone that he wanted to spend his life with, especially in times like these. She taught him how to love a person unconditionally without trying. One day, he hoped he could return the favor.

The night didn't feel as scary as it once was. Everything felt right, normal even. Tonight, Seoyeon and Wooyoung were curled up in the living room watching the latest movie. Enjoying the comfort of being near each other. Wooyoung tried his hardest to focus on the movie that was playing; however, he couldn't help but glance over at Seoyeon. Every time he glanced over, he couldn't help the smile that tugged on his lips. He knew he had fallen hard for her after everything. For the first time, he wasn't sure how to approach someone he was interested in. Usually he could flirt no problem with anyone, but with Seoyeon he could never find the proper words. Seoyeon noticed the small glances from Wooyoung out of the corner of her eye. She could sense that he had something on his mind.

"Everything okay? You keep looking over at me like you have some bomb," Seoyeon questioned as she turned to look over at Wooyoung.

"I don't have a bomb," Wooyoung chuckled.

"Hmm, okay…you sure you aren't hiding something?"

"I'm not trying to hide anything"

"Then what's going on in that head of yours"

Wooyoung paused at the question posed. He wasn't entirely sure how to express his feelings that ran through his brain for her. Though as he looked into Seoyeon's eyes, only one thing became clear in his mind. Seoyeon tilted her head and raised an eyebrow at him, trying to figure out what was going on with him. He was looking at her with a softness in his eyes that she had never seen before. It was melting her heart the longer they sat there just staring at each other. Wooyoung glanced down at her lips briefly before slowly leaning in. He paused right before their lips met, giving her a chance to pull away. Seoyeon chuckled at Wooyoung before pressing her lips softly on his. At first, the kiss was hesitant, like they both were scared of what they felt. Slowly, the kiss deepened into a passionate one filled with all the unspoken feelings that lingered between them. As they pulled away from each other, Wooyoung rested his forehead against hers.

"Thank you for being by my side," Wooyoung spoke softly.

"Thank you for being you."

@yuyueater -> Bookshelf

Lexie is my favorite 18+ blog on Tumblr

Personal favorites: Eater & Pirate

@sannie-young -> Masterlist

Favorite fake texts author on Tumblr

Personal favorites: Fan Meeting & Overwhelmed

@witchleo21 -> Speak of the Devil!

One of the first series I was completely hooked on

@hongjoongsshawty -> Stay

My favorite Hongjoong story on Tumblr, hands down

A Hongjoong Fanfic

Content Warning: Some heartbreak...

Word Count: 2.06k

Tags: @phantom-nights and @it-ar3-l3a

Author Note: Hi everyone! This is my second work to be officially published here. I randomly got inspiration for this story after listening to Wonderless by Pierce the Veil. I apologize if there are any errors; I tried my best to fix all of them before posting. Please don't forget to like, reblog, and comment! I hope you all enjoy this because I had so much fun making this one :)

We always wonder what if when looking back on our lives. We sit around thinking about what could have been if we did something slightly differently. Would it make us happier if we did? Would everything be completely different? Or would it be exactly the same? Hongjoong thought about this often. The more recognition Ateez received over the years, the more he wondered about her. Where was she? If she heard a song, did she turn it off automatically? How deep was the wound? For him, the wound ran deep and never healed. No matter how hard he tried to forget her, she refused to leave, forever haunting him. He knew his biggest mistake was leaving her. He was wonderless.

Hongjoong and Seika met years and years ago; it feels more like a distant memory now. Their friendship blossomed during childhood. When they both had zero worries about life and could play for hours on end. Eventually, those same hours would shift into exploring music as they entered their teen years. Music brought them together in a way that was different. Each day, they spent hours experimenting, seeing what each genre of music had to offer. A type of unspoken understanding would surround them as the beats flowed out of the speakers. The connection they had was undeniable even during their awkward middle school phases. They always saw each other, never judging. When words were too difficult, they would turn to music to communicate. Eventually, Hongjoong made the first move. A small, desperate kiss that said everything he never had the courage to say, everything that music could never communicate properly. That same night, he made Seika his girlfriend, too afraid to lose her.

In the years to follow, they built something that felt unbreakable. Talks of what their future could be after high school began. They both envisioned being together, supporting each other as they chased after their dreams. After school, Hongjoong would lie in bed beside Seika, learning how to create beats as she scribbled down random lyrics in her notebook. Both hoping to one day make it in the industry to create something that would make people feel seen, that would stick around for many generations. So when Hongjoong got the offer to be a trainee, she encouraged him to take the risk. Seika never doubted for a second that Hongjoong could make it big. She worried, but she knew this was important. Hongjoong took the offer without hesitation and trained endlessly. The long hours would slowly chip away at their relationship. Seika tried her best to be there for Hongjoong at all hours. Hongjoong, on the other hand, was struggling to find the balance. The pressure tortured him on the inside. In the back of his mind, a seed had been planted.

What he once envisioned for the future was slowly shifting to one where Seika wasn't by his side. One where she was safe from the potential hate that fans would send her way. One where she would be able to be loved properly by someone else. This seed would keep growing until he broke her heart. He told himself that breaking her heart now was the best for both of them. The heartbreak would be worth it in the end, he would tell himself. Honestly, he wasn't sure if that was even true. Leaving Seika behind meant a number of things. The most important thing was that it was safe for his career. It limited the possibilities of scandals and harassment. It would take away some of the constant worrying and fear, weakening the growing pressure that was building within Hongjoong. For Seika, it felt as if Hongjoong just ripped out her heart and tore it into pieces. She didn't scream nor did she cry. Seika wasn't going to beg him to stay because no matter what her reaction was, she knew Hongjoong was too far gone. He left her wondering where she went wrong. Music was supposed to bring them together, but it was the exact thing that broke them.

They say that with time things heal, and you can accept what happened. The truth is that it's been a few years now, and the wound never healed. Regret haunted Hongjoong at night even after all these years. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was what they could have been and how much better things could have been if Seika was here by his side. It pained him more than he ever imagined. He wanted to forget to make it easier. So he would go on countless dates with all different types of girls. All with different backgrounds and passions. Nothing ever felt real when he tried. Things always felt too complicated with each girl he dated; the relationships were never able to find a rhythm that flowed. The more successful he became, the clearer it became that they were there for his fame and money. He hated it so much. At night, he wondered a lot about Seika. It made him restless at times, all the thoughts that would go through his head. Since their breakup, she became a ghost. There were no traces of her anywhere. That killed him.

Becoming a ghost wasn't what Seika wanted, but it was the life she had to live. Vanishing to her wasn't about letting Hongjoong win. It was about allowing herself to mourn what could have been. In the beginning, she felt so trapped inside her mind. Lost in countless memories the two of them shared over the years. The one person she truly believed she could trust broke her heart into a million pieces. Creating a wound so deep that the scar it would leave behind would never vanish completely. Even though they were young, she believed that she could never love someone in the way she loved Hongjoong. That thought alone haunted her every night in bed when the city went to sleep. If one thing was for certain, she wasn't going to let Hongjoong take music away from her. Seika knew she wasn't going to be some idol or some famous producer. That wasn't the life she wanted to live anymore. Music always helped her in her lowest and allowed her to express herself in ways that felt completely authentic to her. She wanted to help others discover that same passion for music, give them the starting tools, and provide a safe space. That was her dream now.

As the years went on, Seika discovered a quiet rhythm to life. She moved out of Anyang to Pocheon a couple of months after the breakup. It wasn't too far from home, just a little over an hour drive into the mountains. She found a small studio apartment that was just on the outskirts of Pocheon. The change felt necessary. This city was hers, not theirs. It allowed Seika to really breathe for the first time. There wasn't a constant reminder of him lurking. It was a new chapter. One he couldn't ruin. As she settled into her new life, she found a job in music, offering private lessons to those who wanted to learn an instrument. It wasn't anything crazy, but it was fulfilling. It gave her a sense of purpose and reason to stay. The thoughts about Hongjoong started to fade into the background. Her heart was slowly healing, but she wasn't concerned with romance, really. It wasn't something she really cared about anymore. She was okay being on her own.

Being back in Anyang felt different, almost foreign. Seika hadn't been there in ten years. In all honesty, she was avoiding it at all costs. For a while, it felt like if she came back, everything would fall apart. All the time she put into rebuilding herself would vanish into thin air, and she would become the lonely 18-year-old girl. Being here in Anyang reminded her of him. He's gone on to become such a beloved idol. Anyang was proud to show him off. No matter how hard Seika tried, she could never completely erase Hongjoong from her life. Having an ex who happened to be an idol meant that you were always going to hear about them somehow. Hongjoong looked happy to be there in the clips she saw randomly online. He was achieving his dream alongside people she knew he cared for deeply. As much as she wanted to hate, she couldn't find it within herself. Instead, in her own weird way, she was proud of him. Proud that he didn't give up and created something so unique. Seika knew that was something extremely difficult to do within the industry. Even though she was proud, for her own heart, she had to keep her distance. That meant she never tuned in for any comebacks, never heard more than five seconds of a song, and never mentioned she once knew the idol. It was safer that way.

There wasn't a real reason why Seika decided to come visit after all these years. There wasn't anything tying her down there and trying to pull her back in. Maybe it was because she just wanted to do it for herself. Prove to herself that she was okay, stronger even. The streets of Anyang once felt so loud and heavy with tension; now they were quiet, calm even. The places she loved during her youth weren't painful to visit anymore. Anyang was no longer evil to her. For Hongjoong, Anyang was always somewhere he could escape to throughout the years. He would come home to get away from all the noise and pressure. Though there were times when it stung, and the wound opened ever so slightly. Those were the nights when he wished to see her the most. He would do anything just to see her again. To tell the truth, that's why he still comes back so often. Hongjoong was secretly hoping she would just be there and everything would just feel right again.

The air that night shifted as the stars filled the dark sky. Seika just wanted to clear her head. The more time she spent here, the more she realized that she never stopped loving Hongjoong. That scared her more than she could ever admit because, in the end, would it even matter? After all the success, why would Hongjoong choose her? It wouldn't make any sense, but she hoped. As she walked the streets, she felt as if someone was watching her. For a second, Seika paused to scan the area. She didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Everyone around was in their own world except for one person. They locked eyes instantly as Seika realized who it was. Hongjoong was there. It wasn't her imagination; it was really him. Hongjoong had spotted Seika from a mile away. He couldn't get himself to look away from her, too afraid that she would vanish. She looked exactly how Hongjoong remembered. She had matured just like him, but she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Hongjoong called out carefully to Seika as he walked towards her. He could still feel the butterflies in his stomach, something he hadn't felt in ten years now. It was now or never.

"Please don't go, I can't lose you again. For ten years, I thought about you, and how I wish I never pushed you away. The only thing that has ever felt real was us. I'll do anything to feel that again."

Seika didn't know what to say. She never imagined Hongjoong would be here pleading for her to stay. Everything in her mind tells her that she shouldn't, after everything they've been through. The most logical thing to do would be to walk away and keep going on with her life. However, her heart tells a different story. One where Hongjoong is present. So Seika nodded her head as she reached out for Hongjoong's hand. She was never great with words, especially in moments like this. A small smile spread across Hongjoong's lips as they intertwined their hands. For once, everything felt okay. Even after ten years, the connection they had was still there. They didn't need words to understand each other. They both knew it still. Hongjoong was never letting her go again. Seika didn't want to leave either.

A Seonghwa Fanfic

Content Warning: This story contains themes regarding mental health and tragic separation.

Word Count: 1.13K

Clipped Wings Teaser

Tags: @minminnie924 , @phantom-nights , @a-boys-luvr-girl , @sammwasthere , @it-ar3-l3a , @seewale , @kayb2005, @nishimurariki-wife

Author Note: This is my first work being posted on Tumblr. The following people have been tagged because they liked the teaser! I hope you all enjoy Clipped Wings. Please like, reblog, and comment!

Life is cruel in its own ways. It punishes people who are already struggling to hold on. Almost laughing in their face, the second everything starts to feel normal for them. For Nabi, life has only ever laughed at her. Every day was a battle within itself. Everything that she carried weighed heavily not only on her shoulders but deep within her soul. It made her feel hopeless. All she ever wanted was some peace, possibly even a normal life. The only way she could do that was if she left everything behind and started all over in a new city. Nabi would eventually settle into a quiet life working at a bakery. It was a life that was empty in many different aspects. It made Nabi doubt if the risk she took was worth it. She started to believe that nothing would ever change. This was her fate, a sad one to be exact.

However, it's funny can bring change to you in the most unexpected ways. Nabi never expected change to appear in a stranger. His warm smile and boba eyes had welcomed her into his life long before they spoke. They had met in the small bakery where Nabi worked. He would come in every Friday to order a small slice of strawberry cake. Nabi would carefully package the slice for him. Every time, he smiled warmly at her. It was one of those smiles that really feels genuine, like they weren't two strangers. It took some time before the two would exchange words. To Nabi, it felt as if speaking would ruin the rare peacefulness that occurred every Friday. To Seonghwa, he never wanted to interrupt her work. Eventually, the small smile every Friday would be occupied with small questions about life. Nothing too deep, but questions that slowly brought the two together.

Normally, Nabi would never let anyone get close to her. She always tried to make herself small and forgettable. It was safer that way for her heart and safer for others if they kept their distance. But there was something about Seonghwa that slowly broke down the walls she spent years building. Maybe it was the way he spoke so gently to her, or the way he never pressed further when she suddenly couldn't find the proper words to answer his questions. She couldn't help but also welcome him into her quiet, empty life.

There was a careful rhythm their relationship had found. Opening their hearts to each other was hard. Nabi had tried numerous times to push Seonghwa away out of fear. She was scared of never being able to be the person he needed. Never able to love him properly or the way he deserved. She couldn't understand why someone like Seonghwa would love her. Seonghwa was endlessly patient. Every time she tried to push him away with her silence or distance, he wouldn't yell or try to make her feel small. Instead, he would simply let her know that he will be there when she's ready. Never rushing her to open her heart. Patiently waiting for the day when she could accept his love.

Eventually, Nabi allowed Seonghwa into not only her heart, but the broken world she tried so desperately to hide. The life she lived before Seonghwa had made the ache within her soul unbearable. The ache she felt deep within her soul made her wonder often if it was worth living. Every day slowly became harder. Little tasks started to feel unachievable. She felt incapable. Seonghwa never judged her; instead, he took time to carefully understand how the ache within became so bad. They would spend the quiet hours of the night wrapped up in blankets, sharing stories. Little by little, Seonghwa learned. The life Nabi lived was never easy. It was one filled with great sadness and loneliness. Seonghwa began to realize that, for the first time, Nabi finally had someone. Someone who loved her for who she was. Someone who listened instead of judging. Someone who actually wanted to see her find peace.

Their relationship blossomed slowly after that. Some days were harder than others. Nabi felt like she was holding Seonghwa back. Blocking him from finding the peace he deserved. The guilt slowly ate away at her. Even though she never voiced her guilt, he knew. So Seonghwa made a point to show Nabi how much she is loved, even on the worst days. He wanted her to see that everything could be okay, especially because they had each other. But was it enough?

If you're reading this, my love, it means I am no longer with you.

For as long as I could remember, there was an ache. One that you could feel deep within your soul. The type of ache that would keep you awake when your body begged for rest. You learn how to survive with it, but you are also aware that one day it will win. I really wish I was stronger than I ache I feel from within. I wanted to be stronger for you. I never knew what it meant to be loved, nor did I understand how to receive it. Love wasn't something that was present in my childhood. It was something that I believe only existed in made-up stories. That was until I met you. You are unlike anyone I have ever met. Your warm smile every Friday was always the best thing to occur each week. It's something that I looked forward to. You were the only person who saw beyond the mask. You chose to stay instead of running. And you choose to love me. I love you more than anything. I am so sorry for this. Please don't blame yourself. I will always be here with you, rooting for you. I hope you can find someone who can love you properly in ways I could never and live the life that you deserve. You will always be my star. One day, we will meet again.

Love always,

Nabi

Content Warning: This story contains heavy themes regarding mental health, severe anxiety, and tragic separation.

Word Count: 290

I never thought it would go this far.

I never thought I would have much importance.

I never thought someone would care.

It's too late to change.

All I can really say is that I never expected this to happen. Let alone, I never met for him to love me in the way that he did. I never imagined the day were someone actually loved every part of me. Even with all the flaws, he treated me like the most precious thing in the entire world. Every small step forward was met with a small celebration. Every small step backwards was met with patient understanding.

I wish I were stronger.

I wish I could have seen what he saw.

I wish I weren't me.

Who even am I, really?

Well, I never thought I was someone memorable. I wasn't the type of person someone would normally notice right away. I tried my very best to blend into the crowd because I never wanted to take up too much space.

No family name.

No friends.

No home.

I was just Nabi, someone who was lost in life. Scared of all the unknowns, scared of their past, and scared of the present. It was really hard living in that fear every day. I desperately wanted things to be different. I hope he knew that. I hope he saw how deeply I cared for him. How beyond thankful I was for him.

Hopefully, we find each other in the next life under better conditions. One where I can love him properly. One where the memories don't feel like a dream playing tricks with my mind. One where we can be happy.

What I know is that I'll always love him in every lifetime.

Clipped Wings Full Story

Author Note:

Hi everyone!

I wanted to post a teaser for a multiple-chapter fic I had thought of to see if there was any interest. This story will deal with a lot of heavier topics like depression, abuse, and grief. I want to share a story that felt real and lived. One where someone else might connect to Nabi's story in the slightest. There will be happy moments within the story as well as heartbreak. If you are experiencing anything similar, just know you aren't alone ever. I hope this story can help you feel seen instead of feeling invisible. I'm writing this story as a way to cope and keep my creativity alive in a dark time.

Please let me know if you guys are interested.

XOXO Cherry