Midnight Mist

I kind of hate the moon and it’s because of you. That is such a bold and rare yet reassuring statement that I spit–I still can’t believe that I can say that, honestly. But this time, it is full circled. I hate how I’ve shared 108 full moons with you yet I still couldn’t be the one who untangled your beautiful and fuzzy mind. I hate every time I look at the eclipse, it reminds me of your…

“If someone throws you a baseball, would you rather catch it or go away?”That’s a question that popped into my mind when I watched one scene from my favorite series. Only if you knew that one of the characters was simply playing with the ball while thinking his life decisions. I can’t help but think about being hit by a baseball. Should I just avoid it or grasp it? That’s just like how life…

As I was munching on my sashimi, I began to wonder: what inspired someone to create such a beautiful mix of sashimi on a bed of vinegar rice . Little did I know, the word Chirashi came from Chirasu (散らす) which means “to scatter”. The best way to enjoy chirashi-don is either by alternating bites of rice and sashimi, or by placing the raw fish directly on top of the rice. This delicious dish…

“In the end, water will always be poured out.” That line. Our nth times fighting. In your car. Rains were pouring. Silenced. I was silenced. I thought you were my cup of tea. And so was I to yours. But through that line, I finally got it. You were never mine to begin with. A companion, a kryptonite, a constant, but you were never mine. A tear dropped. “So this is how it goes? This is finally…

1.44 am I hardly can shut my eyes, I’m still awake in this middle of the night. Thank God for letting me breathe. Well, not for now. My mind keep thinking that.. What? Did I think of him, again? No, way darling. You can’t. What the hell are you thinking right now? Self. Please, stop. Wait, do I miss him? Well, no. Not really. But, yes. A bit. My eyes can’t stop looking at my goddamn phone and I…

5.06 am To: Me From: Him Messages: Wait, are you okay? Status: Opened Oh God, I must’ve been too drunk last night. 1 text and 3 missed calls. Hell that I’m not important. Should I call him? Shouldn’t I? Should I? My brain keeps on telling me, “are you too blind to see? Love is just lust, you fool!” But heart is like, “go on with your feelings, dear.” So the conclusion is, you already know which…

Empty road. 80’s music are playing. Laughing like the world is ours. Arguing like we we’re each others’ worst enemy. Saying sorry. Warm hugs. Wait, did I just doing another flashback? Not again… *phone buzzes* Crap.

I was on my way back home, and my playlist randomly shuffled a song. I enjoyed the song well since it’s from a band that I favored. I listened to it while blankly stared to the cars moving rapidly beside me.  Then a scene about one night flashed to my mind. The night that I spent crying alone because this song popped out from my Bang & Olufsen. The night that I finished my Ludisia in an instant,…

Forgetting you used to be a dream to me.But now, it is slowly starting to become a reality. I almost forget about all the bits that occupied my hippocampus.My personal theater I have in my mind is no longer playing the movies about that same main character anymore.The first fight in the car during the heavy rains—why was it again?Even though my friends knew it, I just can’t recall. Is it the…

Hi my cyber paradox. A lot of things can happen in a day; thus, a decade serves gazillions more. Hundreds of people came and went away, A bunch of feelings and fleeting moments captured. Who would’ve thought I could be so different now? Throughout the years, I’ve been in a constant loop of being a mess and amicable. Such a rollercoaster ride it was. All that is said and done, it is what it…

People said I’ve always had it all easy. Little did they know, the sleepless nights and blank-staring at the blue skies were countless. Or perhaps I’ve always had everything quite easy, except for one thing.You. The biggest mystery of them all. The what-if scenarios that I created. The missing puzzle piece that I wish it would fit. The biggest chunk of the broken pottery. The nightmare from my…

I guess life always has its special way to make me learn new things every single day, from every small things that I didn’t even notice before. People said life is a series of coming and going, and I truly believe that. It’s a series that all of us has to deal with. Sometimes it’s easy, most of the times it’s hard, no matter how bad we want to deny that. Seeing someone that we used to tell about…

I have always been questioning my self about the right or wrong in my life. Am I doing things right? Is it wrong? So, what’s about it? Some times if I’m not sane enough and can’t process things clearly, I’m trapped in the dilemma. But I know, eventually, who cares about it? Isn’t it about perspectives? One can take it right, one can take it wrongly. The dilemma sucked me til I’m left empty. I…

what’s wrong with me as I sip my second iced americano I keep asking my self what’s wrong with me what the hell is wrong with me why am I being like this question mark been asking this question for the last 3 weeks and haven’t found the answer that satisfy the devils inside my head and that’s frustrating but what can I say, I know nothing about this life all I know is just…

First of all, let me tell you the story behind the title. I was about to make use “30 Days of Detox” but it feels unsuitable compared to what I’ve been through. Because it’s been more than 30 days and it’s more than just a detox. Also, this is a long post, by long I mean I didn’t just write it one time, I kept on writing, drafting, and as time goes by, I finally post it. Another one, this is just…

If Kang Seulgi had her 28 reasons to ruined people, I now have 26 things to wish upon me. I wish I didn’t clench my jaw as often I wish I never met you. Can i simply wish for this? I wish I didn’t be this devoted and loyal towards things and people that I truly care I wish I could be mean everyday I wish I didn’t tolerate people I wish I had enough bravery to do things that I always wanted…