I can't fake it anymore.

I can't understand why people keep lying to me. Do they enjoy seeing me feel bad? Depressed? Feeling like shit? What? Why? Why do they keep doing it? And even saying that I'm strong, that I'm powerful and that they won't protect me that much, I still feel fragile around them! I hate looking at the mirror and seeing just a weak person who everybody can take and throw to the corner when they get tired, who people can look at and think 'oh, this one looks so miserable, so sad, so small!' And with these kind of thoughts they play with the depressed one here. Like what they're doing won't make me even more depressed. I'm depressed enough, I won't get worst. People like this prevent me to get better, prevent me to feel confident all the time and prevent me from trusting in other people. And then they ask me why I'm so sad, ask if my life is that bad. They don't even know how shitty I feel when I need to pretend that I'm okay. Because yeah, I'm not okay.

I suddenly feel sadder than the usual.