UP AND AT THEM

Highlights of the holidays:

Seeing sorely-missed family members

Getting some freelance work/extra scratch

Vanquishing all comers in self-regulated Jeopardy

Stupid good times with idiot friends

Lowlights of the holidays:

Getting violently ill potentially as result of getting roofied

Getting hospitalized for aforementioned violent illness

Not being able to eat solid food for days

"Most people don't understand how easy it is to upgrade your RAM. It's as simple as as putting an old cassette tape into a tape player."

-Some internet asshole whose words I took to heart

So with an eye on a cheap upgrade for my desktop, I opened up my computer today and popped the RAM modules out to take a look at them, and then plugged them back in. Of course, once I power my computer back up it blue screens immediately. After checking to make sure the RAM was working and properly installed, the system diagnostic I run suggests that in the ten minutes I spent with under the hood I managed to somehow screw up the motherboard.

I don't know what the hell I was thinking messing around with my computer, what with my goddamned black thumb. As long as I can remember my computers have kept finding new and inventive ways to crash and die on me. All my techie friends that I begged for answers would laugh at me and my nearly preternatural ability to ruin anything with a hard drive and keyboard. I thought I was over it after I successfully changed my video card a couple months ago, but apparently my black thumb was lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to dick me over.

In a couple of years after I've raised enough capital, I'm going to open a gay bar. The name of the bar will be Dick Sporting Goods. 

Other potential names:

Banana Republic

The Gap

Old Navy

In-N-Out

Five Guys

Johnny's Rocket

Jamba Juice

Coldstone Creamery