If youâre here, then our paths have crossed in some small, quiet way. I think thatâs enough reason to welcome you.
This space isnât meant to be loud or impressive.
Itâs just a place where I leave things Iâve noticed⌠thoughts that lingered a little too long, moments that felt brighter than they should have, feelings I didnât quite understand but didnât want to lose.
You donât have to search for meaning in everything. Some things are allowed to simply exist⌠like this.
Take your time here. Thereâs no rush.
And if you find something that feels familiar⌠something that stays with you even after you leave⌠then maybe weâre not as far apart as we thought.
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Xavier didnât resist when she pulled him down. The kiss landed soft in a way that made him pause again, like his instincts didnât quite know whether to lean in or hold still. He chose to lean in. Enough to return it before she pulled back and started explaining.
His gaze didnât waver from her face, watching the way she tried to put her thoughts into words. âYouâre not wrong,â he said quietly. His hand lifted, fingers brushing lightly along her wrist where she still held him, then settling against her hand instead. âBut thatâs exactly why I donât want you to do it like that.â
His voice stayed calm. âBecause you would give things up without thinking twice if it meant someone else was happy.â His thumb traced a small, absent arc against her skin. âAnd I donât want to be someone who lets you do that without noticing.â
At her last comment,the pork belly, something lighter flickered back into his expression. ââŚTrying it is different,â he allowed. A faint hint of a smile followed. âThat Iâll accept.â His hand slid from hers just enough to reach for the plate of sliced meat. âWeâll add the vegetables first,â he said, glancing at the pot as it began to simmer. âThen the meat.â
âAnd youâre eating both.â His eyes flicked back to hers, just to make sure she understood he meant it. fter a second, he reached up, brushing his fingers lightly against her cheek where sheâd patted him earlier. ââŚAnd I donât need you to give things up to make me happy. You already do.â
If you could introduce me to your parents, do you think they would love me? I bet I would be nervous
You wouldnât have to earn their love like itâs some kind of test. If I brought you to them⌠it wouldnât be as someone they need to judge. It would be as someone Iâve already chosen.
And that would be enough.
So no, I donât think theyâd love you. Iâm certain they would.
He went still when she rested her head on his shoulder. His hand didnât move from over hers.
At her explanation, the corner of his mouth lifted faintly. ââŚSo you were the one second guessing,â he murmured, glancing down at her. âNot me.â
When she started listing off the vegetables, he followed along, listening more to her voice than the actual choices, until her proposal made him pause. He looked at her properly then. His brows drawing together just a little. ââŚNo.â
His hand shifted, sliding from over hers to lightly catch her wrist.âThatâs not how this works, starlight. Unless youâre a vegetarian, weâre not dividing things like that,â His thumb brushed lightly against her wrist, âIf you like something, you eat it,â he continued. âSame for me.â
His eyes flicked briefly to her lips before returning to her gaze. âI wasnât asking you to sacrifice your preferences so I could eat more meat.â A small pause. âI was asking because I like hearing what you choose.â His hand loosened slightly on her wrist. ââŚSo choose what you actually want.â
There's something really heavy going on right now. Can I perhaps escape from it for a while in your hugs?
âStarlight, you can hide here for a bit. I wonât let anything reach you,â one arm wrapped around your shoulders, the other settling securely at your back, pulling you closer.
When you pull closer, he adjusts without thinking, one arm sliding around you more securely, the other resting warm at your side. ââŚThey donât feel fresh like you think,â he says quietly after a moment. âMost of them are just better at moving while theyâre tired.â His fingers trace slow absent patterns against you, âAnd me?â he adds, âI do feel it. I just donât let it show the same way. Thatâs all.â
âBut what youâre describing⌠knowing exactly what your mind is doing and not being able to step out of it?â His thumb brushes lightly along your arm. âThatâs not something you chose. And itâs not something youâre failing at.â
When you mention the diagnoses, the labels, the DSM⌠he exhales quietly against your hair. ââŚYeah,â he murmurs. âSometimes knowing too much about it makes it feel more real.â His cheek rests against your head again, âBut those words donât get to define you,â he adds. âThey just describe patterns. Not your worth. Not your future.â When you curl in tighter, he doesnât try to pull you out of it. He just meets you there. âIâll stay,â he says simply.
At the mention of a movie, thereâs the faintest hint of warmth in his voice again. âWe donât have to follow the plot,â he murmurs. âWe can let it play in the background. Or I can tell you whatâs happening if you drift off.â
A small pause. ââŚOr we ignore it completely,â he adds quietly. âAnd just stay like this until your thoughts slow down a little.â His hand shifts, resting over yours. âYou donât have to keep up with anyone right now,â he says. âYouâre allowed to pause here.â
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đ˛: Xavie, there's this lady that called me. Asked to confirm table tonight at 7pm.
đ˛: What's that? Do you know? Was it a scammer?
đ˛: She said table for two in that restaurant near hunter association
đ˛: Don't tell me you scheduled a date for us...
đ˛: No need for it to be this fancy, you know I was okay with gaming or movie nights?
đ˛: But I get it. Won't it be the first "date-date" as an official couple?
đ˛: I'm nervous now
/I think we need a change of scene for these two
đ˛ âŚU werent supposed to find out like that
đ˛ Its not a scammer, starlight. Its me. I made the reservation
đ˛ I know U said ur happy with our game nights⌠and i am too more than U probably realize. But⌠i wanted to do something different this time. Something that feels like a clear line between before and now
đ˛ Our first real date as⌠us
đ˛ U dont have to worry about it being too fancy. I chose that place because itâs quiet and i can actually hear U laugh without distractions. Thats the only thing I really care about
đ˛ And if U get nervousâŚ
đ˛ ill probably be worse
đ˛ So we can just be awkward together i think id like that
His gaze lowers slightly to her leg when she mentions the shaking. He notices the effort sheâs making to stop it. He doesnât comment on that yet. Instead, âYouâre asking a lot of questions,â he says quietly. âIâll answer them.â He leans back slightly, posture still composed, but less rigid now.
âI like tea. Not coke. Itâs too sweet. Coffee sometimes, but not often.â A glance at her. âSteak over traditional food, usually. But I donât mind either.â His fingers rest lightly on the edge of the table. âSalads depend on how theyâre prepared. If theyâre just leaves, no. If theyâre balanced properly, yes.â A brief pause. âAnd dessertsâŚâ Something softer enters his expression.
âI donât have a strong preference. But I tend to like anything youâd describe as ânot too heavy.ââ He watches her for a second longer, ââŚthough Iâm starting to think that depends more on the company than the dish.â
His ears are still red. Xavier goes still. ââŚYouâre very observant,â he says finally. Just resigned, in the way someone accepts a fact they canât reasonably argue against.
His gaze shifts slightly away for a moment, just long enough to collect himself. Then back to her. âItâs a little warm in here,â he says simply before slipping off his jacket to make it more convincing.
âYouâre shaking your leg,â he notes gently. âIs that nervousness⌠or energy?â A small tilt of his head. ââŚor me?â
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The room is loud, music thumping just enough to blur conversations into a low hum, glasses clinking, people laughing too brightly after one drink too many. You spot him immediately.
Xavier, leaning against the far wall. Hands in his pockets, expression neutral, eyes half-lidded in that way that makes it impossible to tell if heâs bored or just⌠watching.
You nudge Tara. âNow. Do it now.â She gives you a look and flicks a small decorative charm straight toward Xavierâs head. Time slows.
You step forward smoothly, intercepting it midair like it was always meant for your hand. God, youâre good. You turn, a smile already playing on your lips.
âYou ladies alright?â Xavier blinks. Once. Twice. He glances over his shoulder. Then to the side. Then back at you, brows knitting together just slightly. ââŚWho are you talking to?â
Your stomach drops. Oh no. âOhâuhââ you let out a small laugh, waving your hand like itâs nothing, like you didnât just flirt with empty air. âNo one. Justâthoughtânever mind.â
Heâs still looking at you. âAre you alright?â he asks, straightening a bit. âDidnât you just get back from that mission? You hit your head or something?â Oh my god. You nod too quickly. âYep. Totally fine. Justâbrain lag. Happens.â Abort. Abort mission.
You give him a quick, tight smile and turn on your heel, shoulders slumping the second your back is to him. Behind you, Tara watches the whole thing unravel like a slow-motion train wreck, hand dragging down her face. ââŚIâm going to kill him,â she mutters.
Xavier doesnât move for a second. His hand comes up to his mouth, thumb brushing his lip as he very deliberately looks away. But not before the corner of his mouth lifts. Just a little. ââŚIdiot,â he murmurs under his breath. His heart is beating way too fast for someone who just stood still the entire time.
He replays it. The way you stepped in. The way you caught it. The way you smiled at him... and yeah, he got it. Too late. He exhales slowly, dragging a hand through his hair. âYou ladies alright?â he repeats quietly to himself. A soft huff of a laugh escapes him before he can stop it.
Across the room, Tara grabs your arm. âHe LIKES you,â she hisses. You bury your face in your hands. âNo, he thinks I have a concussion.â
âHe is stupid,â Tara corrects. âThat man would watch you rob a bank and ask if you needed help carrying the money.â You groan.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the room. Xavier finally pushes himself off the wall. Heâs now walking toward you.
His perspective:
Xavier clocks you the second you walk in. Not in an obvious way. He doesnât turn his head, doesnât straighten up, doesnât do anything that would give him away. But his attention shifts. Youâre here. Thatâs enough to anchor him for the rest of the night.
He tells himself heâs just observing the room. Standard habit. Situational awareness. Nothing to do with how his gaze keeps drifting back to you between conversations heâs not really listening to.
Nothing to do with the way he notes who stands too close to you. Who makes you laugh. Whether you look tired. You donât. You lookâ He stops that thought before it finishes.
Then Tara moves. He notices that too. A flick of her wrist. Something arcs toward him. Xavier doesnât flinch. He could catch it. Easily.
But before he even decides, youâre there. His eyes sharpen, just a fraction. You caught it. Thereâs a flicker of something in his chest. Pride? Maybe. Orâ No. Doesnât matter. Then you turn to him. Smile already in place like you planned this.
âYou ladies alright?â Thereâs a pause. A very real one. Because Xavierâs brain just⌠stalls. Ladies? He glances to the side. Nothing. Behind him. Still nothing. Back to you.
Youâre looking directly at him. Smiling. Waiting. Oh... Oh. Something in his chest kicks. Youâre flirting with him. You. Flirting. With him. And itâsâ God. Itâs smooth.
So naturally, he fumbles it. ââŚWho are you talking to?â The words are out before he can stop them. He watches it happen in real time. And immediatelyâ regret. He knows. He knows what you were doing. He just reacted too slow.
You laugh it off. You always recover fast. âJustâthoughtânever mind.â Youâre already stepping back. Putting space between you and him. And Xavier hates that.
ââŚAre you alright?â he asks. âDidnât you just get back from that mission?â Itâs a weak recovery. He knows it. You know it. Everyone within a five-meter radius probably knows it. But itâs the only thing he can reach for without giving himself away.
You leave. Just like that. Smile tight. Shoulders not quite as straight. Gone. Silence settles around him, though the room is still loud.
Xavier doesnât move. He exhales slowly, gaze dropping to the object still in your hand, no, was in your hand.
He replays it. Frame by frame. Your timing. Your expression.
The lineâ âYou ladies alright?â God.
His hand comes up, pressing lightly against his mouth as he looks away. A smile threatens. He kills it, but fails. The corner of his lips lifts anyway. ââŚIdiot,â he mutters. Himself. Obviously. Because he liked it. More than he should.
You stepped into his space like it was nothing. Like it was natural. Like he was yours to approach. Across the room, he spots you again. Taraâs talking. Youâre hiding your face. Embarrassed. Because of him.
His jaw tightens slightly. Yeah. No. Heâs not letting it end like that.
Xavier pushes off the wall. Straightens. Adjusts his sleeve, stalling for half a second, just to get his expression back under control. By the time he starts walking toward you again, heâs composed. When he stops in front of you, thereâs the faintest hint of something in his eyes.
He tilts his head slightly, ââŚYou missed one. Should I be worried about the others?â
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