The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.
Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them
also sometimes you go and they have you put your face up to this big box full of little lights and they give you a clicker and ask you to stare at the dot in the center and click when you see a light in your peripheral vision and you're like I have ADHD I can't do this and they say you'll be fine and then they COVER UP one of your eyes and you're like this is 9000% harder now and I keep having to blink and they go "yeah okay now click-y click-y bitch" and you try your fucking best internally screaming the entire time and it feels like it takes 700 years and then you go home and have a migraine for the rest of the day
don't even get me started on the flashbang device
my optometrist has never once shot air in my eye and when he checks my peripheral vision it takes 3 seconds maybe 4 max. I think maybe you guys are being tortured by perverts
I know what test you're talking about, the one I do is an advanced test that checks your entire visual field, the peripheral test they do that's fast is a simpler version that they do with their hands, but it's the same basic principle. The puff of air thing tests the pressure inside your eye tho and it's a little odd to me they haven't done that for you, I've had to do that at every eye exam I've had since I got glasses at age seven, doesn't matter the city or state, they always do it.
But yeah if there's anything even a little complicated going on past "you need glasses" the eye doctor goes from fun to being tortured by perverts extremely quickly.
Fun fact: my dad, who was phobic of needles and therefore NEVER went to the doctor in his adult life except for the time he got appendicitis in his 30s, went to get new glasses bc he broke his in his 50s, and found out he 1. had a denegerative eye disease, 2. his blood pressure was so high they sent him to the ER, AND 3. he has diabetes and his glucose was so high he should have been in a coma.
To this day, he's like....all I wanted was new glasses.
Also: I have only gotten the pressure test through a puff of air in the past decade. Previously it was always having to be dilated with drops (I've had glasses since 2002). IHS always wants to dilate my eyes but I have to drive 40 minutes to the clinic so, nope. I do have to say I prefer the puff test bc those drops burn like a motherfucker and I tend to waste half the dose bc I "am the fastest blinker" most of the techs have met.
