Intermodulation

so since the moment i met you which was quite a while ago i thought you were the prettiest girl i had ever seen. from there i kept this thought secret in my head and decided you would never fall for me and was not interested and convinced myself that i could never win you over or ever express the way i felt because there was no way someone as wonderful and as pretty and special could even notice me. when we would text each other i would get super excited to see your name and to think that you wanted to talk to me and then when you would probably be responding to what i said i would start imagining that you hated me and wanted me to go away and thats what was taking you so long which was actually just like 10 or so minutes. you don’t understand how head over heels i am for you it hurts my whole body when i think about you because my brain is so messed up and thinks way too fast i think about all the boys that you have loved and the ones that you’ve kissed and i wonder if they made you happy and if they felt the way i feel for you but they had something i didn’t and i would wonder how you felt if you ever spend nights up just thinking about how wonderful someone is and how much you love them and want to tell them but can never bring yourself to do it and i wonder who that person is and i wonder if you ever felt this way to me and i wonder why my body aches over something thats just in my head….. i want to love you i wont just give you pretty words i want to love you and make you happy and never see you cry and if i do i want to listen to you and confide in you i want you to come hug me when you’ve had a bad day i want you to be there for me when i get like this and i cant stop my head anymore. i wonder if you’ll ever see this and if you’ll connect that its you. its always been you that has been the one that i dream about… do you dream about me? if you do are you happy that you did? my body feels heavy at the thought that you aren’t mine… i doubt you’ll ever be….i want to make you happy and not feel like your heart is so dark i know you have the greatest capacity for love thats why it hurts because you truly loved and i think i have that too but i believe its still inside you……i’m sorry i never should have written this and i shouldn’t post this or send it i should just go away i need you to know how much i love you and how recently especially i cant stop thinking about you and how beautiful you truly are and you’re not willing to believe it……….fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…………………………………………….∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆