All my Loves are fictional

I think if I were pretty and catty in the "popular" way, if I were petty and cruel, if I wasn't [likely] autistic, I wouldn't be excluded from my siblings. I'm always getting bullied by my younger brother and sister. They don't like me. I'm constantly feeling like the dumb outsider in a group of mean girls. They complained that my parents weren't buying them food so I bought them 120 dollars worth of groceries to be nice and they still exclude me. I'm tired of feeling like an extra on a sitcom, and when I cry because my feelings are hurt I'm suddenly too sensitive. I just know they'll laugh at my funeral.

Got screamed out at work, got screamed out at home. Really wish my two options weren't emotional abuse and being homeless.

Having to prove constantly to people you live with that you deserve love too, and constantly failing. No one loves me in my family, no one likes me. I'm so tired of being alone. I'm everyone's least favorite person in the house and I don't think anyone would notice if I disappeared.

✨ Manifesting my director apologizing to me before I clock out ✨