The Wizarding World of Wilford Warfstache: Master Post
Everything you need to know about this wacky world of magic, mayhem, and martinis! This post will be updated as more characters and stories are released!
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Henrik jumped instinctually when he heard a knock on the door of the clinic. He was still getting used to Yan’s frequent visits; the only person who normally stopped by outside of patients was Jackie, and even then those were scheduled. He opened the door and was greeted by the red-haired ball of joy themself.
"Good afternoon, Henrik." Yan beamed and moved past him into the clinic, only speaking again once the door was closed. "I got those books you asked for." They put their messenger bag down onto the counter and began emptying its contents; two leather-bound books with yellowing pages and ancient symbols etched into the cover.
"Thank you, Yan. You’ve been a great help," Henrik said.
"It’s no trouble." Yan handed the books to the doctor. They then rummaged through their bag again, pulling out a tupperware container. "I also brought cookies. B ate most of them while I was at the Library though..."
"You didn’t have to..." Henrik trailed off when he heard a shout from the basement. But this was different from when he normally heard Anti shouting from the basement, this time he sounded... happy? There was a loud rhythmic thumping of Anti running up the stairs before the trap door burst open and he stumbled out into the room.
"I’ve made a breakthrough!" Anti was beaming, holding out a piece of notebook paper covered in his messy handwriting.
"Anti, as exciting as that is, please check next time you come stomping up the stairs,” Henrik scolded, worry creasing his brow. “What if Jackie had been here? Or someone from the Crime Department? You really ought to be more careful." Still shaking his head, he took the paper from Anti and began reading.
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Anti rolled his eyes. "Just shut up and listen. I was poring over that old book of remedies Yan brought over a couple of days ago and after brushing up on my ancient Greek, I was able to translate the recipe for a potion that stalls the symptoms of corruption. Not exactly a cure, but it’s a start." He turned his attention to Yan, eyeing the container in their hands. "You brought food? You’re the best." He grabbed the container and immediately shoved a cookie into his mouth.
Henrik stared in awe of the notes, a small smile tugging across his face. "This… this could actually work! Anti, you’re brilliant."
Anti swallowed and looked sheepishly at the floor. "It’s not a big deal. Just trying to keep myself from fully corrupting, is all."
"Not a big deal?" Yan’s eyes lit up. "You’ve managed to find the first step to a corruption cure, that’s incredible!"
As Henrik continued poring over the notes, his eyebrows furrowed. "As incredible as this is, it’s going to be extremely difficult for me to get these ingredients. The only place I could possibly get most of these things is Derekson's, but I'd have to get Jackie to escort me. Not to mention the Committee would find it suspicious…"
Anti shrugged, taking a bite out of another cookie. "No problem, I’ll swing by later to grab everything you need to start making this thing."
"Are you sure? It might not be safe for you to be walking out and about."
"It'll be fine, I'll wear a scarf. You worry too much," Anti said, scratching at his neck wound. Henrik sighed and left the room, closing the door to the apartment behind him. "Yandere, you wanna come with?"
"Sure." Yan hesitated. "Where are we going exactly?"
"Derekson's," Anti said. Yan still looked confused, so he continued. "It's an apothecary across town. The guy who runs it is under Committee surveillance, too." He glanced over at the apartment door and lowered his voice. "Apparently, all of his children were born mundane, and he tried to turn them into wizards by himself. Ended up killing all but one. The only reason the Committee hasn't thrown him into a prison cell yet is that he's such a talented potion maker."
"That's horrible," Yan muttered.
"Yeah..." Anti trailed off. "But he’s the only one who has what we need to make our potion. So I hope you don’t have any plans this afternoon, because we’re leaving as soon as I finish these cookies." He turned and walked back down into the basement, taking the whole container with him.
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The walk to the apothecary was surprisingly tense -- Anti had insisted they walk there, not wanting to spend even a few minutes on crowded public transport. He spent the whole time looking over his shoulder and tugging on his scarf like it was suffocating him.
"Are you okay?" Yan asked, sensing how nervous he was.
"I'm fine." He glanced at them over his sunglasses. "I just don't like walking around during the day. Too many people. I feel like they're all staring at me." Yan opened their mouth to say something comforting, only for Anti to cut them off. "We're here."
Yan looked up at the building they stopped in front of. It was a brownstone, the worn bricks painted green. A few strange-looking flowers and herbs grew in the windowsills. Above the door was a wooden sign that read "Derekson's Apothecary: family-owned and operated since 1812." Yan quickly followed Anti up the steps and into the shop.
The shop was empty when the two walked in. A wooden counter stretched around all sides of the room. Tall shelves filled with glass jars and bottles lined the walls behind the counter, each containing loose ingredients or brightly colored liquids. A rolling ladder was attached to the shelves, and in the center was a door marked "employees only". It reminded Yan of a candy store, only instead of chocolate and jellybeans, the jars were filled with dried herbs and what looked like eyeballs.
The back door swung open and a man in a patterned shirt walked out, putting on a big smile when he saw the two standing in the shop. He was followed by a teenager with similar features, walking on a pair of crutches. The teen stood in the back, staring at the ground while the older man walked towards the counter.
"Welcome, welcome! What can I do for you today?" said the man, whose nametag identified him as Derek. He gestured to the shelves behind him. "We carry potions for any and all circumstances. One that turns any creature into a harmless goldfish, one that can make your flower garden into your own personal army of floral warriors, one that makes the drinker fall in love with the first person they see for 24 hours. I know that one is popular with you young folks." He winked at Yan, and they only scoffed in response. He hesitated before starting his sales pitch again. "You two don't work for the Committee, right?"
"No?"
"Good! Because here I have a few things that blur the lines between potion and poison-"
"We don't need any of that!" Anti snapped, clearly running out of patience with the overzealous salesman. "We just need these ingredients." He pulled a list from inside his coat and handed it to Derek.
Derek gave a dejected sigh and took the list, turning and climbing the ladder to retrieve what they needed. He quickly maneuvered the shelves, seemingly knowing where everything was despite all the jars being unlabelled. He came back down only a few minutes later holding a few jars, piling them all on the counter.
"Is that everything?" Anti asked.
"Not quite," Derek said. "Some of the things you're asking for are highly dangerous, so I don't keep them in the front of the shop. Eric." He turned to the young man behind him, who flinched in surprise upon hearing his name. "Can you get the rest of this fine customer's order from the back room?"
"Yes, Dad," Eric muttered.
"I can help you with that," Yan chimed in, hesitating when they saw how stunned Eric looked at the gesture. "If you're alright with that."
"Sure," Derek said, waving his hand. "Just don't touch anything you're not supposed to." Yan moved around the counter over to Eric, smiling and opening the door for him. He gave a reluctant smile and went inside, Yan following shortly after.
The backroom was essentially just a kitchen. A few small cauldrons were simmering on top of an electric stove, empty glass bottles crowding the counter next to it. The linoleum floor was covered in shimmering, multicolored stains. A few barrels were pushed up against the back wall next to a staircase leading up to the second floor of the house. The walls were lined with cabinets, many of which were padlocked.
Eric hobbled over to the cabinets, leaning his crutches up against the counter and leaning against it for balance. He pulled a ring of keys from his pocket, unlocking one of the cabinets. Before he opened it, he turned to Yan. "Oh, right," he mumbled, as if he had forgotten Yan was there. "You can, uh, grab the fireroot for me. It's in the fridge."
"You got it." They smiled, walking over to the fridge and opening it. It was filled to the brim with potion bottles, as well as a few leftovers in tupperware containers.
"So, what's all this for, anyway?" Eric asked, before immediately looking away. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry."
"It's alright." Yan walked over with the bundle of fireroot he asked for. "We're working on, uh… medicine. For someone who's sick. My friend's a doctor and he asked us to pick up some supplies for him."
"That’s weird. I’ve never heard of medicine with these kinds of ingr-" He cut himself off with a strangled cry. His legs suddenly buckled out from underneath him, and he gripped onto the counter for support. He shakily lowered himself to the floor, back against the counter. He scrunched his eyes shut and suppressed a pained whimper, pulling his leg to his chest.
Yan dropped to their knees in an instant. "What's wrong?" they asked quickly. "Do you need me to get your dad?"
"No!" Eric yelped, eyes wide. "It'll only make him upset… I'll be fine. I just need to sit for a minute."
"What's wrong?" Yan repeated, more gently this time.
Eric bit his lip, looking at the door to the shop and back at Yan. "You know what my dad did, right?" They nodded, remembering the story Anti told them. "The ritual he used to try and make me a wizard, it didn't work, but-" He rolled up one of his pant legs, revealing unnatural scars twisting up his leg. They looked like burns, only iridescent and an unpleasant shade of green. Yan clapped a hand over their mouth. He covered the scars and curled in on himself. "Dad says it's a form of corruption. It flares up every now and then," he continued. He gave a feeble smile. "It's almost funny. I'm not even a wizard and I still managed to screw up and get corrupted."
Yan winced, sensing a wave of sadness and guilt coming from Eric. "Hey, that’s not your fault. None of that is,” they said, trying to console him. They were quiet for a moment, mulling over what they were about to say. They lowered their voice. "I think I have a way to help you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone, that includes your dad. "
Eric looked back with confusion before simply nodding.
Yan glanced at the door before speaking, "A friend of mine is working on a cure for corruption. I know it sounds impossible, but we’re making progress. It will take some time before we have an actual cure, but once we do, we’ll be able to help you. "
"You- you’d really be willing to help me?" Eric said. He gave them a weak smile.
Yan smiled back, opening their mouth to reassure them before being cut off by yelling from the front of the shop.
"Eric! Hurry up!" Derek yelled. "We have a customer waiting!"
"Oh no..." Eric muttered before yelling back, "I’ll be right out!" He grabbed the edge of the counter, wincing as he scrambled to his feet. He grabbed his crutches, gesturing to Yan to pick up the miscellaneous items on the counter before going through the door. They placed them on the check-out counter before walking back over to Anti, who looked down at them over his sunglasses.
Derek looked over at Eric, drumming his fingers on the counter with impatience. "What took you so long?" he said, barely containing his frustration.
"I- uh," Eric stammered, trying to avoid eye contact with his father as he began to pack all the items into a box. "I couldn’t find the time cacti needles they needed, m-must’ve put it in the wrong cabinet when I was organizing."
"Yeah? Well, next time double-check to make sure everything’s in the right place." Derek turned to Anti, his glare turning into a smile as he rattled off the prices for everything, occasionally slipping in a sales pitch for other potions. Anti ignored his rambling, placing a stack of bills on the counter and taking the box of ingredients from Eric. He promptly dropped it into Yan’s arms and quickly made his way out of the shop. Yan gave Eric one last smile before following after.
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"God, I hate that Derekson guy. Did you see the way he talked to his own son?" Anti scoffed. The two were walking back to Henrik’s clinic now, Anti a little more relaxed now that the streets weren’t as crowded. "What were you and that Eric kid doing back there, anyways?"
"Just talking," Yan said. They decided it was best if Anti didn’t know they’d told Eric about the corruption cure.
"Of course you were." Anti smiled. "You have a real knack for befriending everyone you meet, huh?"
"I guess so." They smirked. "I managed to befriend you, didn’t I?" They nudged him with their shoulder.
Anti chuckled. "Yeah, yeah you did." The two kept walking, keeping up some light conversation to pass the time. Yan was in the middle of recounting the time they and B had gotten lost in a cave somewhere in the geography section at the Library when a man jogging by them accidentally bumped into Anti. "Hey, watch it!" he yelled at the man before turning back to Yan. They were about to continue their story when they felt a sudden surge of mixed emotions from behind them. Disbelief, sadness, joy.
"Chase?"
Anti froze in place. He chanced a look back, his heart sinking when he locked eyes with the man behind him. He stared at Anti as if he had just seen a ghost, the faintest smile pulling at his lips. His eyes were sunken yet bright, brown hair poked out from under his beanie. He looked like he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in months. He surged forward, wrapping his arms around Anti and pulling him into a tight hug. "Oh my god, Chase! It’s been so long, I thought I’d never see you again!" He laughed.
Anti finally moved, shoving the man off of him and taking a step back. "I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else."
"Are you kidding? I’d think I’d recognize my best friend."
"I’m sorry, but I have no idea who you are," Anti growled.
"It’s me, Sean! Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you for years." The man, Sean, reached out to Anti. Tears started to fall when he flinched away. "You just disappeared, and I was beginning to think- everyone thinks you’re dead, Chase."
"Anti," Yan said softly, wincing from the waves of intense emotion coming from the two men. "Who is this?"
"Anti? Your name is Chase!" Sean yelled. He grabbed his head, struggling to make sense of what was happening. "You’re my best friend! Fuck, we have matching tattoos!" He quickly rolled up the sleeve of his jacket, revealing a trident-shaped symbol. Yan recognized the symbol; they had seen it tattooed on Anti’s right arm before. Sean kept yelling, tears pouring down his face. "What happened to the friend who promised he’d always be there for me? What happened to the guy who would never abandon his family no matter how hard things got? What happened to you, Chase?"
"I'm not Chase," Anti snapped, low and dangerous. "Now, I need you to leave me alone before I do something I regret."
Yan looked down to see his hand was glitching with red and green magic. "Anti." they grabbed his arm. "Please, don't."
Anti looked over at them, then back at Sean. "Yan, we're leaving." He turned to go.
"If you’re going to go, you should know Stacy remarried," Sean said. He averted his eyes from Anti, tears still falling down his face. "Nice guy, he’s a tennis instructor or something. The kids are doing well in school; Emma's been filling out college applications. They still ask about you sometimes. They do miss you, you know. Stacy too."
Anti stood for a moment. "Come on, Yan, let’s go home," he said, lifting an arm to wipe at his eyes with his sleeve. He walked away from Sean, not bothering to look back.
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The walk back to Henrik's was tense. Neither said a word until they got back. Anti opened the door to the clinic, immediately locking eyes with Henrik, who was sitting at his desk going over the notes again. "How'd it go?" he asked, standing up. Anti stayed quiet, storming past him and wrenching open the trapdoor. He slammed it behind him, and moments later the two upstairs heard him start yelling. It was a heartbreaking sound, laced with anger and sorrow. The sound of anything he could get his hands on colliding with the floor soon followed.
"What happened to you out there?" Henrik said, wincing at the sound of something glass shattering below.
Yan placed the box of ingredients on the desk, gently wiping fresh tears from their face. The emotion coming from Anti and Sean had been too much for their ever faltering emotion magic, and they had started crying from the sheer amount of sorrow coming from the two. "Everything at the store went fine. But on the walk back, we ran into a man named Sean," they spoke softly. They looked up at Henrik, seeing a flash of recognition on his face. "Henrik, who's Chase?"
Henrik sighed, gently removing his glasses and rubbing his face. "Chase is someone who Anti was a long, long time ago," he hesitated, looking down at Yan with regret. "It's not my place to tell you about his past. I'm sorry. You really deserve to know more, but-"
Yan held up their hand. "I understand." They pulled him into a hug.
Henrik froze at the sudden contact, then gently placed his arms around them. "It would probably be best if you went home. You don't want to see him like this."
Yan pulled back, giving a weak smile. "I'll see you next week. Call me when he's feeling better."
"Of course," Henrik said, watching as Yan walked out the door. As soon as they were gone, he sighed, leaning against his desk. He wanted nothing more than to get a drink, wait it out until Anti's rage faded, but he knew that wouldn't be good for either of them. He walked over to the center of the room, gently opening the trapdoor before heading down the stairs, bracing himself as the noises got louder. He gasped when he reached the bottom of the stairs.
The room was in complete disarray. All the books that had been precariously balanced on Anti’s desk were thrown to the ground, papers strewn everywhere. The desk chair was knocked over; all the dirty plates and glasses that he had hoarded in his room were in pieces on the floor. His knife was buried in its usual place in the wall next to the doorway. The only thing left untouched was the murky green jar on the desk, where Sam was repeatedly bumping his eye against the glass in an attempt to get Anti's attention.
Anti himself was hunched in the center of it all. His jacket and scarf were discarded on the floor. His sunglasses lay against the wall across the room, one of the lenses missing and the other shattered. His entire body was glitching. He was scratching at the wound on his neck.
Henrik quickly moved next to Anti, careful not to kneel on any broken glass. "Are you alright?" He spoke softly. Anti breathed heavily, barely acknowledging the man beside him. Henrik reached out, gently placing a hand on his back and rubbing circles. Even through his gloves, it felt like touching a broken tv screen. Slowly, Anti's breathing evened out and he removed his hands from his neck.
It felt like an eternity before Anti spoke. "I miss them so much."
"I know," Henrik said, barely above a whisper.
Anti looked back at him, his mind racing with a million things to say. He decided to stay quiet, just this once. He leaned against Henrik, letting the silent sorrow wash over him.
Yan knocked a few times before slowly cracking open the door to Henrik’s office. They peered inside to make sure the coast was clear before opening the door the rest of the way and stepping inside. Henrik was nowhere to be seen, which was fine. Yan wasn’t supposed to arrive for their appointment for another half an hour or so. Their mentor had let them go early so they could make it on time. They had a good reason for telling their mentor their checkup was sooner than it really was though. They wanted to see if they could help Anti with research today.
“Anti?” Yan called, kneeling down by the trapdoor. “It’s Yan. Can I come down?”
“Yandere? Yeah, come on down, kid,” came the slightly muted reply.
Yan frowned at the nickname. No matter how many times they asked Anti to drop it, he didn’t seem to listen. They opened the trapdoor just in time to see the light in the basement turn on, lighting the stairs down. They stepped carefully over the papers spread out over the steps, holding tight onto the handrail so they didn’t slip.
“You’ve been busy,” Yan said, finding a spot of ground to stand on that wasn’t covered in paper.
Anti stuck his knife in a piece of paper, holding it to the wall, before turning to Yan. “Yeah,” he huffed, tapping a piece of paper with his foot. “I think I’m getting close to something. Not sure what yet, but, uh... You’re here for your appointment with Henrik, right?”
Yan nodded, slightly distracted by the absurd amount of papers surrounding them. “Where is he?” they asked, hopping to another bare patch closer to Anti.
“Mr. Sleep-lestein is taking a nap,” Anti chuckled. “He’ll be up in a few minutes, don’t worry.”
“Is he…?” Yan trailed off, giving Anti a worried look.
Anti waved them off. “He’s alright,” he answered. “Just had a long night. Don’t worry about him, though. He gets enough worrying from Jackie.” He shook his head and scratched at his neck, and for a small moment Yan could sense worry from him before it was gone. “But, uh, enough about that,” Anti coughed. “You want to help me with something?”
Yan nodded and stepped to another spot towards Anti.
“Take this,” Anti said, tearing the piece of paper off the wall where he’d stabbed it earlier. “There should be a page almost just like it, but, uh, without the tear. And a diagram. I set it down somewhere earlier and now I can’t find it.”
“That’s it?” Yan questioned with a frown. They took the paper from Anti’s hand and began to look it over.
Anti shrugged. “You’ve got an appointment soon, kid,” he said. “I don’t want you getting too invested in something and missing it. If Henrik isn’t up by the time you find it, I’ll have something else for you to do, okay?”
“Fine,” Yan huffed. They knelt down and began to pick up papers, comparing them to the paper in their hand. They tried to work quickly; they had a lot to go through.
It didn’t take long for Yan to find the paper. It had been tucked under Sam’s jar, likely so Anti wouldn’t forget where it was, and yet it had been forgotten anyway. Yan gave Sam a wave before bringing the paper back to Anti, who set down his notebook to take the page from them.
“Perfect!” Anti exclaimed, comparing the two nearly identical papers in his hands now. “Thank you, Yan. Where was it?”
“Under Sam,” Yan answered with a chuckle. Anti huffed. “What did you need it for? Why do you have two papers that are almost exactly the same?”
Anti took a moment to respond, scratching at his neck as he squinted at the pages. “Different editions,” he muttered distractedly. “This one-” He waved the one Yan had found. “This one has a few very interesting lines that were taken out of the later edition. Don’t know why, other than whoever was printing or editing wanted the information kept from the public.”
Yan sat down on the floor next to Anti, looking at the paper in his hands. “Why would they want that hidden?” they asked, tucking their knees up to their chest. “If it could help find a cure for something like corruption, why would they get rid of that?”
“Who knows,” Anti huffed. “Some wizard bullshit. Henrik could probably answer better than I could. Maybe they thought people would use the information for… less helpful stuff. Lots of things that can be used for good can be used for evil too, kid. If it was taken out, it was probably for a good reason.”
“And if it wasn’t?” Yan pressed, glancing up at Anti.
“Well then it doesn’t really matter now,” Anti said with a shrug. “What matters is that we’ve got it now.” He elbowed Yan, causing them to yelp and almost fall backwards before catching themself. “And if we’ve got it, we can use it, right?”
Yan nodded. They opened their mouth to speak, but stopped when they noticed Henrik standing at the bottom of the stairs. Yan had to resist flinching against the wave of tiredness and anxiety coming from the doctor. Henrik didn’t bother stepping in clear spots, walking right over the papers to Yan.
“Are you ready for your checkup?” Henrik asked, resting his hand on Yan’s shoulder. He looked tired, like he’d just woken up and immediately come downstairs.
Yan nodded and placed their hand on Anti’s shoulder, bracing off of him to push themself up. “Can I come back later?” they asked, looking between Henrik and Anti.
“You can come back any time, Yandere,” Anti said, smiling up at them.
Yan beamed, barely noticing the tinge of worry from Henrik as they followed him up to the office.
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Yan took a seat on the examination bench while Henrik grabbed a clipboard off his desk. Even after only a couple of appointments, it already felt like routine to Yan. As Henrik approached the bench, he gave them a clearly forced smile. At least he was trying for them, Yan noted, returning the smile.
“How have you been feeling?” Henrik asked, stifling a yawn. “Any more trouble with your magic?”
Yan shrugged and shook their head. “It still gives me some trouble sometimes, but doing magic hasn’t really been that bad.” They tugged at the locket around their neck. “I’ve been extra sensitive to emotions recently though,” they added. “Like, it feels like someone dialed up my sensitivity to an eleven.”
Henrik nodded and finished a note on his clipboard. “You’ve been careful with your magic, yes?”
“Yeah, as much as I can,” Yan answered. “The headaches aren’t too bad after a while.”
“Still feeling tired and stressed?”
Yan hesitated before nodding. “I- I’m trying not to let it get to me, but it’s really hard. It’s all just-” They tightened the grip on their locket. “It’s all really exhausting.”
“Have you tried talking to Jackie?” Henrik asked, tapping his pen. “You don’t have to tell him about your corruption, but he would be more than happy to listen if you just need to talk. I can give you a note to go see him if you’d like. That should get you out of any obligations, yes?”
“But what about you and Anti?” Yan asked, worry digging in their chest. “I still want to help you guys.”
“And you can,” Henrik said calmly. “You don’t have to visit Jackie every day. Just whenever you need to, set up an appointment and he can work you into his schedule.” The doctor tore a piece of paper from his clipboard and handed it to Yan. After a moment of squinting, they could deduce it was a referral note to see Jackie. That or a drawing of a lion. Probably the former.
All of a sudden, there was a knock at the door. Henrik nearly flinched out of his skin before going to answer the door, tapping the trapdoor with his foot as he went. He opened the door slightly at first, and then, after a short exchange, all the way, letting B into the office.
Yan froze. They briefly considered diving behind the bench so B wouldn’t see them, but it was already too late. B bounced over to his friend, not hesitating to pull them off the bench in a hug. Yan wanted to disappear. Why did B have to be here? It wasn’t that they didn’t enjoy seeing B, but they didn’t want him accidentally finding out they were corrupting. Yan already felt guilty enough knowing B still didn’t know they’d stolen the scissors. Keeping secrets from their best friend tore Yan up inside.
“What are you doing here, Yan?” B asked, seemingly oblivious to Yan’s slight discomfort. He backed away from the hug and gave them a lopsided grin. He kept his hands on their upper arms.
“Checkup,” Yan answered vaguely, hoping that would be a satisfactory answer. “What are you doing down here?” They wriggled out of B’s grip, playfully batting his arms away.
“Oh!” B exclaimed, suddenly remembering he’d come to Henrik’s office for something other than Yan. He spun around to face Henrik. “We’re out of bandages in the Library,” he explained, “and the Library’s been really feisty this week, so G wanted to stock up just in case one of us gets hurt. I already almost got hit by stray books, like, seven times today. And then G was- Oh!”
Henrik cut B off by shoving a large box of bandages into his arms. “Tell G I’ll need the next volume of Kingsman’s series soon. He’ll know which one.” Forcefully, Henrik spun B around to face the door and began to push him out of the office.
“Wait, Yan!” B cried out, pushing back against Henrik. “You want to come with? I’m almost done with work today!”
Yan hesitated for a moment, but a quick glance at Henrik’s face told them he wanted B out of his office as soon as possible. “Sure!” Yan said, putting on a grin as they joined their friend at the door. “Thanks for the checkup, Henrik!”
Henrik sighed gratefully and gave Yan a slight smile before closing the door behind them and B.
“You coming?”
Yan nodded quickly, realizing they’d been staring at the closed door for a moment too long. They turned to face B with a smile, taking his free hand as he shifted the box of bandages under his other arm. The sun was beginning to set, giving the Crime Department hall a warm golden glow. A few of its employees passed B and Yan as they walked, but barely acknowledged them past a polite nod. The pair walked in silence until they reached the end of the hallway.
“So,” B began, breaking the stillness that had settled between them, “what was your checkup for?”
Yan hesitated, brain quickly scrambling for an excuse. “Just- I’ve been, um, stressed lately,” they said, relaxing slightly as B nodded. “I just wanted to make sure it wouldn’t, uh, have any effect on my magic, y’know?”
“And?”
“I should be fine,” Yan continued. “Dr Schneeplestein gave me a note to see Jackie, though.” They pulled the piece of paper from their skirt pocket and waved it before putting it back.
“That’s good,” B said, giving Yan’s hand a squeeze. “I went to see Jackie a few times when I first started at the Library, and he really helped. You would not believe how stressful that job is when you have no clue what you’re doing. Plus, it took super long for G to start warming up to me, so I couldn’t really, like, lean on him much in the beginning. He’s gotten better now though. I think he just wasn’t used to having an apprentice. I don’t know how he was getting by before me, honestly.”
Yan let B ramble on as they continued their walk. Listening to him talk, it was easy to forget their own troubles. They could do that with B. Just… lose themself and live in the moment. Hearing all his stories from the Library, they could almost pretend they weren’t corrupting, that they weren’t helping a dead man and a doctor make a potentially impossible cure, that they weren’t constantly racked with guilt from cutting Senpai’s string to Osana.
“Yan? Earth to Yan?” B waved their clasped hands in front of Yan’s face. “Dude, you good?”
“Huh?” Yan blinked. “Oh, yeah, sorry. I must have zoned out.”
B frowned. “Are you sure, Yan?” he asked, giving them a concerned look over the rim of his glasses. “You’ve been ‘zoning out’ a lot lately.” He stopped walking, forcing them to stop too. “I know you said you’ve been stressed recently, and I get that, but I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”
Yan could feel the blood drain from their face.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” B continued, seemingly oblivious to the panic Yan was feeling. “Just- I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep secrets from me, Yan. You’re my best friend, dude. If there’s anything I can do to help you, I want to be able to do it.”
Yan didn’t know what to say. The kind, understanding smile on B’s face made them want to crawl into Henrik’s basement and live there with Anti forever. “I’m- I’m sorry, B,” they finally stammered out, chest tightening as they held back tears. “It’s just- It’s not just my apprenticeship I’m stressed about.”
B looked at them with obvious interest.
“It’s Senpai too,” Yan admitted, staring down at the floor.
“But I thought-”
“I know, and you’re still right,” Yan interrupted. “Everything is going great with him. We’ve been hanging out a lot, and we’ve even got a real date next Saturday.” They reached up with their free hand to hold onto their locket. “I’m just so afraid. I love him so much, but I’m so worried that I’m not the right person for him. I’m not afraid he’ll find someone else and leave me, but that I’ll see he’s got a string to someone else, and I won’t be able to let him go.”
This was stupid, Yan scolded themself. They were just telling B old troubles. They already knew that they couldn’t let Senpai go. That they’d seen his string to Osana and acted irrationally. They’d been selfish. They still were selfish. They were just airing old grievances, pretending they still mattered.
“Oh, Yan,” B said gently, “you don’t have to worry about that. You’re such a good person, I know you’ll make the right choice, no matter what.”
But they hadn’t.
They’d stolen and lied, and now they were paying the price.
“But what if I can’t?” Yan fretted. “What if I make a mistake, and someone gets hurt?!”
B backed up a step, eyes wide. “Yan, calm down,” he said. They could feel his own worry and stress building. “No one’s going to get hurt. You’re getting worked up over something that might never happen.”
Yan’s head pounded as tension rose. “You don’t get it!” they cried, tears finally beginning to run down their face. “I’m supposed to be good at this! I’m supposed to be able to tell who’s right for who, but I can’t! I don’t know what I’m doing anymore!”
“Yan, I-”
“Just leave me alone!” Yan shouted. They tore their hand away from B’s, letting out a bolt of red magic that went wild, barely missing B. There was a cracking noise as it hit some distant wall.
B’s eyes had followed the bolt, but they now looked at Yan with fear. “Y-Yan, what was that?”
Yan’s hands covered their agape mouth. Their heart was pounding harder than their head, and they felt like they’d just stuck their hand in an electric socket. “I-I- I’m-” they stuttered. “I’m sorry, B.” Before their friend could respond, Yan turned and ran back the way they came. They didn’t look behind them to see if B was following. It didn’t matter. They ran blindly, pushing past a pair of startled Department employees, down a darkening hallway until they reached Henrik’s office. They slammed the door open, charging right into a startled Henrik and wrapping him in a hug.
“Yan, what happened?” Henrik asked, hesitantly placing his arms around them as they sobbed into his shirt.
They only gripped his shirt tighter, barely noticing as Henrik shuffled them closer to the door so he could close it before moving them closer to one of the examination benches. He let them cry on his shoulder for what felt like ages. Yan didn’t want to let go. They wanted their head to stop hurting and their hands to stop burning. Eventually, though, their tears ran dry, and they were just standing there, stubbornly refusing to let go.
“Are you ready to tell me what happened?” Henrik asked quietly, removing his arms from around Yan.
Yan backed up, hopping onto the bench behind them and rubbing their puffy eyes. Their throat felt tight, but they nodded still. “I- I don’t know what came over me,” they stammered, their voice catching. “I just- I got really freaked out when B asked me what was going on. I panicked and yelled at him, and- and then I-” Yan felt the tears begin to run down their face again. “-I almost hit him with c-corrupted magic.”
Henrik’s eyes went wide for a second, and Yan flinched. He was going to be mad at them. He was going to kick them out of his office. He was going to tell them they couldn’t help Anti anymore. They were going to lose everything. They were going to lose B, and now they were going to lose Henrik and Anti too. They-
“Yan, it’s okay.”
Yan’s panicked breathing caught as they felt Henrik’s hand on their shoulder. They sat stunned as he moved to their left and, with a grunt, hoisted himself onto the bench. Gently, he wrapped his arm around their shoulders and pulled them close, so they were leaning against him.
“You know,” Henrik began softly, staring at the distant wall, “I used to have a very good friend. We were as close as you and B are. We were like brothers. He- he helped teach me English when we were very young. We did everything together. But I made a terrible mistake, and betrayed his trust. I was careless, and ruined our friendship. He has hardly looked at me, much less talked to me, since then.”
It was Yan’s turn to look wide-eyed at Henrik. The misery coming from him was so potent, they felt like they could reach out and grab it. “Do you think I’ve ruined my friendship with B?” they asked fearfully.
Henrik shook his head, and Yan noticed the tears in his eyes. “No, I don’t think so,” Henrik said, mustering a smile. “B… B is much more forgiving than my friend was. For you, it is not too late to fix things. I know it feels like you have created an unbridgeable gap between you and him, but you are a very smart and loving person, Yan. If anyone can cross that gap, it is you and B. He is just as hurt and scared as you are right now, but he does not hate you.”
Yan nodded slowly, tugging at their locket. “What do I do?” they asked.
“Talk to him,” Henrik answered. “When you’re ready. And be honest with him. B… B will be more understanding th- that way.”
Henrik had interrupted himself, Yan noted. What was he going to say before he changed his mind and said ‘that way’ instead? It… It probably wasn’t important. Maybe they’d just imagined it. Still…
“Can I stay here for a little bit?” Yan implored. “I think helping Anti will help me think things through before I talk to B.”
Henrik nodded. “If you think that’s best,” he said, still staring off into the distance. “You can go down whenever. I- I’m going to work up here tonight.” Carefully, the doctor slid off the bench. He turned and gave Yan a reassuring smile before retreating to his apartment.
The moment the door closed behind him, Yan walked across the floor and crouched to reach the trapdoor. "Anti?" they asked after knocking a few times. "Can I come down?"
"Yan?" his muffled voice called back, his confusion was obvious. "Uh… yeah, sure."
Yan opened the trapdoor, carefully treading down the steps to the basement. Their movements were apprehensive, all their senses still on edge from their outburst. Once at the bottom of the stairs, they noticed that Anti had since moved from the floor to his desk, although his mess of notes still remained scattered across the floor.
Anti looked over at them, idly swaying side to side in his old leather desk chair. "You're back early," he said. "Unless you're not, and I just fell asleep working and didn't notice, again." He shrugged.
Yan chuckled half-heartedly, not moving from their spot in the doorway. "No, I did come back early, I just-" they hesitated. Knowing Anti, he would probably just laugh at their outburst at B, just like he did when they revealed their corruption. That was the last thing they needed right now. "I just need to take my mind off things for a while. Anything I can help with?"
"Not really," he said shortly, turning back to his own work. He paused, realizing how rude he sounded. He cleared his throat. "I guess you can organize my notes. Just pick up everything on the floor and sort them by subject."
They huffed, looking down at the basement floor, cluttered with so many strewn papers and books you could hardly see the hardwood. It would take them a while to clean it all, but they were grateful to have a distraction.
.
.
.
Yan looked down proudly at their work. Every scrap of paper was now organized into neat piles. With their distraction gone, their fears and doubts began to creep back into their mind. They turned their gaze up to Anti, who was caught up in his own work at his desk. They locked eyes (or, well, eye) with Sam, who then proceeded to nudge himself against the glass of his jar to get Anti's attention. He looked up from his work, mumbling "What?" as the eye pointed at Yan with its tail. He turned in his chair, "What's up?"
"I just wanted to ask you something," they said, looking at the floor. "How… how do you deal with being corrupted?"
Anti let out a short chuckle. "I'm not exactly dealing with it, kid." He leaned back in his chair, looking around at the basement. "I don't have an answer for you, really."
"Oh…"
"All I can say is, being corrupted is hard, but it's harder when you're alone. When I became corrupted, I had no one. I was in a bad place, and if I didn't have Henrik I would've never made it through it. But you've got so many people who care about you, Yan. And they're gonna support you no matter what happens. You've got your whole life ahead of you, and that's a wonderful thing," he paused, scratching at his wounded neck. "I should know, I already lived mine."
Yan nodded, tugging gently at their locket. They wanted to say Anti's words of encouragement made them feel better, but they honestly didn't know what to feel anymore with their faulty powers picking up every strong emotional impulse in the room. They just knew they still felt bad.
They shuffled on their seat on the floor, before reaching for their phone. They hadn't touched it since they started cleaning the room, so they hadn't noticed the eight new notifications: two missed phone calls and six unread texts from B.
Are you alright?
What happened back there?
You can tell me if somethings wrong. I'm here for you.
Yan, are you okay?
Did I do something wrong?
I'm sorry if I did something, I just want to know that you're ok
Yan stared down at the messages with bleary eyes. "I think I know what I need to do. Thanks for the talk, Anti," they wiped their eyes, standing up from the floor.
"No problem,"
Yan nodded, crossing the room to the stairs. As they ascended the steps, they quickly tapped out a response to B.
I'm okay now. Can we meet up tomorrow?
.
.
.
Yan was waiting on the front steps of the Library before it opened to the public. They tapped their foot against the marble steps; part to calm their nerves, partly to cut the eerie early-morning silence. It wasn't long before they spotted a streak of orange racing across the courtyard.
B was up the steps in moments, nearly collapsing as he reached the top. "You're here early," he said between pants.
Yan opened their mouth to reply, but they were cut off by the sound of the heavy, wooden doors of the Library opening behind them. G stepped through the doors, hands clasped behind his back. "And you're late," he peered over his glasses at B. "I've told you countless times, you're supposed to arrive before the Library opens."
His apprentice stood up straight, smoothing out the wrinkles of his shirt as he faced G. "I'm sorry. I didn't sleep well last night. I slept through my alarm."
Yan felt a pang in their chest. They sensed the guilt coming off of B when he talked to G. They couldn’t help but think they were the reason B overslept, he must have stayed up worrying about them.
"Come along, B. There's work to be done." G gestured towards the inside of the Library. When B walked inside, G looked over to Yan. "Good morning, Yan. I take it you and B have something to discuss?"
They nodded.
"Alright. But don't be too long." He turned on his heel and entered the Library, Yan following soon after. The heavy, wooden doors closed behind them.
B was waiting off to the side as they entered, tugging at the end of his scarf as he watched them walk over. Yan walked up to him, a weak smile on their face. "Hey," they said with uncertainty. "Um, can we talk someplace a little more private?"
"Of course. This way," B nodded down a row of bookshelves. Yan followed as he led them down the row. A couple of twists and turns later and the two found themselves in a small but cozy room. There were two large armchairs in the center, separate by a coffee table with two steaming mugs sitting atop it. Yan glanced at one of the bookshelves around the room, and found it lined with books boasting titles like The Guide to Good Mental Health and Self Help Tips. It was as if the Library itself was trying to help.
B apprehensively sat in one of the armchairs, and Yan followed suit. They were the first to break the silence. "I've come to apologize. I'm sorry for snapping at you yesterday."
"It's okay, you've been stressed."
"No, it's not okay!" they raised their voice, before settling back down and taking a deep breath. "I have been stressed lately, but I shouldn't take it out on you. You were only trying to help and I nearly hurt you. It's not fair to you." They took a deep breath to keep their composure. "I've just been going through something lately and it's make me so upset all the time."
"Whatever it is, I'm here for you," B jumped up in his chair. "Just tell me what's happening, I can help!"
"I can't tell you. I want to tell you, so, so bad, but I can't risk it. I trust you more than anyone in this world, B, so please just trust me."
"I… I do trust you. You're my best friend, dude." He stood up from his chair. "You don't have to tell me anything. No matter what happens, I'm here for you."
Yan practically jumped out of their chair, wrapping their arms around his shoulder in a tight embrace. He instantly hugged them back. "Thank you," they whispered into his shoulder.
.
.
The two friends emerged in the central hall of the Library. G was at his usual place behind his desk, and a few early-morning patrons sat at the tables around the room.
B turned to Yan. "I have to start my work for the day," he said, patting them on the shoulder. "If you need anything, let me know."
"Of course, I'll see you around." They gave him a smile. He smiled back, before disappearing into a row of bookshelves. Yan began walking in the opposite direction, to the Library doors. Right as they reached the threshold, they felt a hand on their shoulder. They turned to see who it belonged to. "G? What is it?"
The Librarian stood behind them. "Before you go, I want you to take this," he handed them a book. The dust clinging to its green cover made it apparent no one had read it in years. "It's a collection of ancient Life Magic remedies. I think you might find it useful." He peered over his glasses with a knowing look in his eyes.
Yan felt as though their heart stopped. "I- I don't-" they stammered. They dared to sense his feelings, to look for answers using magic despite their corruption fighting them. However, G didn't feel angry, or fearful. Instead they sensed a great swell of warmth, a comforting sensation that put them immediately at ease. He was trying to help. "Thank you, G," they said.
He nodded in response, with the faintest of smiles on his face, before returning to his work.
Yan stepped out onto the steps of the Library. With the book clutched close to their chest, they breathed out a sigh of relief. Although their corruption was still hidden from B, it was as if the weight of the hefty secret was lifted from their shoulders. Now all that was left was to deliver this book to Anti, and to find the cure that would free them both from the burden of corruption.
In light of recent events, we thought it would be important to make a statement regarding our stance on things. Despite being a largely cop-based AU, we do stand with black lives and those protesting against police brutality. Until the situation has improved, we will take a break from posting any stories here. We stand with BLM. All lives do not matter until black lives do.
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Dark knocked a couple of times on Abe’s office door before opening it slowly. The head of the department looked up from his desk with his usual semi-concerned smile. Dark wasn’t too happy about being pulled away from their work, but Abe had insisted it was important.
“You wanted to see me?” Dark asked, closing the door behind them.
“Yes, please, take a seat,” Abe said, gesturing at the chair in front of his desk. Once they had done so, he continued. “I know your last… partnership… didn’t go so well, but—”
“I’m not working with him again,” Dark interrupted, wringing the cane in their hand. Just thinking about their day shadowing Mare made their heart race. Despite the fact that almost two months had passed since then, they still had nightmares about that day. Luckily, it seemed that Mare had recently decided to start avoiding Dark as well. Strange behavior for the detective, but Dark wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“You won’t be working with Mare,” Abe reassured them. “The Committee thought it might help if you were partnered with one of our best Trackers.”
“Trackers?” Dark echoed. They’d heard the term bounced around the Department a handful of times, but no one had ever bothered to explain it to them before.
Abe nodded. “Trackers use their magic to track down magic items, whether the item has been stolen, recently discovered, or even used as an accessory to a crime. Their work is vital to the Department. The only reason you haven’t been assigned one before is that the Time Wand is nearly impossible to track.” Abe pulled a file out of a stack on his desk. “Luckily, we think one of our Trackers might just be up to the task. He’s already managed to pinpoint its current time and location.”
Dark placed their cane to the side and opened the file, letting out an exasperated groan when they saw its contents. They recognized immediately the man smiling flirtatiously up at them from the photo. Illinois Jenkins’ photo winked at them as they made eye contact. Dark quickly closed the file with a glare.
“I gather you’re already familiar with Illinois?” Abe guessed, taking the file back.
“That’s a word for it,” Dark grumbled. “If leaning over me while I’m working in the Library and constantly flirting with me is ‘familiar.’” They scoffed. “Do I really have to work with him?”
Abe nodded and smiled apologetically. “He’s the only one who will be able to track down the Time Wand.”
Dark dragged their hands down their face. “Fine,” they groaned. “I’m assuming we start tomorrow?”
“Nope, you start today,” Abe corrected. “He’s waiting for you in JJ’s office. You’ll leave as soon as you get there.”
Dark thought for a second, leaning back in their chair. “So if I don’t make it to JJ’s office until tomorrow, we don’t start until tomorrow?” They looked up at Abe with a smirk.
“Dark, please.”
“Fine, fine, I’m going,” Dark huffed, pushing their chair away from the desk. “This better work.”
.
.
Illinois was in the middle of regaling JJ with a likely exaggerated story when Dark entered. JJ looked grateful to see Dark, and Illinois quickly noticed them as well.
“Well if it isn’t my good friend Dark!” Illinois exclaimed, gesturing broadly as he turned to face them. “Long time no see.” The Tracker tipped his wide-brimmed hat.
“First off, we’re not friends,” Dark corrected, “and you saw me two days ago.”
“Much too long,” Illinois teased, giving them a wink. “You know you missed me.”
“I really didn’t,” Dark muttered. To JJ, they added louder, “Where are we going?”
JJ looked grateful to have a chance to speak. “Australia, the 1930s,” he answered. “I doubt you’ll be seeing many other people though, so no need to change into anything else. Unless you want better hiking clothing.”
Dark shook their head. “Let’s just get this over with.”
.
.
It was raining when Dark and Illinois stepped through the portal and into the forest. The trees towered over them but provided little cover from the downpour. Illinois fished a compass out of the satchel on his hip. He waved it vaguely over the both of them, and the rain began to bounce off of an invisible cover over their heads. Illinois tapped the compass a couple more times and a gold dot appeared on its edge. He squinted at the dot and frowned.
“Looks like we’ve got a lot of ground to cover,” Illinois said, turning in the direction the dot pointed. “We’d best get moving now before it gets dark.” There was a mischievous twinkle in the Tracker’s eye as he looked down at Dark. “Get it? Dark? It’s your name, get it?”
Dark tried not to groan. “Let’s just start walking,” they grumbled.
They let Illinois lead the way, pushing aside the undergrowth in their path with a wave of his hand. Dark had to admit, he was a talented wizard. Being able to maintain two spells at once while still being able to use his magic to clear the path ahead was a far off dream for Dark. They were sure they could improve with practice, but practice was not something they had time for. Maybe once they caught Wilford.
Even though Illinois was able to get rid of the undergrowth, the walk was difficult. Dark resorted to using their cane to help them walk, which was a surprisingly rare thing for them. The rain only made things worse, not to mention the spell Illinois was using to keep them dry was only meant for one person, meaning they had to stay uncomfortably close together to keep from getting drenched. At one point, Illinois abruptly stopped, grabbing Dark by the arm. "We have to stop, this rain is making it too hard to do anything," Illinois shouted over the heavy rain. "I think there's a cave around here, we can take cover there."
"How do you know there's a cave nearby?" Dark yelled, quickly following after as Illinois abruptly started walking in a different direction.
"I'm a Tracker, remember?" he said with a smirk. He magically pushed aside a small thicket and entered into a small clearing, where sure enough there was the entrance to a cave. "I'm the best at what I do. After you, Dark." They pushed past him, jogging as to quickly get out of the rain and away from the flirtatious adventurer.
There was nothing remarkable about the cave, it was empty except for some debris that had blown in from the forest outside. It was filled with the sounds of rainwater dripping in from the ceiling and their footsteps echoing through the tunnels. Illinois was quick to follow them into the shelter, dispelling the water from his clothes with a clap of his hands. "This is the perfect place to wait out the storm!" He smiled, obviously congratulating himself for finding the cave in the first place. "I'll build us a fire to keep warm. Unless, of course, you'd rather stay warm by-"
"Don't even finish that sentence." Dark glared at him. They attempted to magically rid the water from their own clothes, but didn’t get nearly as dry as their companion. Illinois simply shrugged and began gathering sticks and leaves off the floor of the cavern. They turned around, looking towards the back of the cave. It stretched so far back, they couldn't see how far it went. They stood there for a moment, taking a couple steps forward towards the tunnel.
"Easy there, tiger," Illinois warned as he watched them from his position, hunched over a makeshift campfire. He snapped his fingers, a small flame igniting at his fingertips. "Don't go wandering off by yourself, now. It's easy for anyone to get lost in caves like these. Well, except for me, of course." He smirked, lighting the fire.
"I think I hear something," Dark muttered absently. They squinted, trying to make out anything that lay beyond the shadows of the cave.
"Probably just an echo, don't worry about it." Illinois patted the ground next to him. "Come sit by the fire."
"No, it's not an echo. I definitely hear something. It could be Warfstache, I'm checking it out.” Without waiting for an answer, they started walking forward into the cave. They heard Illinois sigh behind them, and soon he appeared at their side with a makeshift torch made from a stick from his fire.
"You're quite the adventurer, aren't you?" Illinois said in an attempt at small talk. "Do you always run headfirst into possible danger like this?"
"With my job, it's kind of a requirement." They stopped walking as the tunnel split off in two paths. They shushed Illinois as he started to talk, listening close to hear the sound they heard earlier. "This way," they pointed to the left tunnel, quickly rushing into the tunnel.
"Whoa, slow down!" Illinois walked cautiously behind them. "You've got to be careful in caves like these."
"What are you talking ab-" They came to a halt, hearing a loud crack come from below them. The ground shook before completely collapsing, taking Dark with it. They yelped as they plummeted into darkness.
"Dark!" Illinois rushed forward, skidding to his knees beside the edge of the hole. "Are you okay down there?" He held up the torch, illuminating it.
Dark lay at the bottom, gripping the back of their head. "Yeah… I'm fine."
Illinois let out a sigh of relief, before immediately snapping back into his ever-so-charming personality. "I knew you'd fall for me eventually." He smiled and winked at them.
"Do you ever shut up?" they grumbled, pulling their sore body off the rocks. "Just help me out of here."
"Okay, okay… I'm coming down." Illinois leaped down, landing gracefully next to them. He took their hand with his free one, pulling them to their feet. He smiled at Dark as they set to work pulling their cane from the debris, when his eyes suddenly darted to the side. He turned, holding the torch up to the other side of the hole, revealing another cave entrance. He fished into his bag, pulling out his compass to confirm his suspicions. Sure enough, the gold dot on its face pointed in that direction. "Well, would you look at that! Your slip-up just got us closer to finding the Time Wand!"
"I'm not sure if I should be insulted or not," Dark huffed, glaring at him.
"It was supposed to be a compliment. How about I give you another compliment instead?" Illinois leaned in close. "You are the most handsome and/or beautiful person I've ever met."
Dark stared at him, unamused. They sighed, "Let's keep going."
.
.
The tunnel was cramped, not even enough room for them to walk side by side. Illinois took up the front, holding his torch ahead of him as he led them through the cave. Every so often, the tunnel would split off into multiple paths, but Illinois trekked ahead with absolute certainty. After a few minutes of silent walking, he spoke up. "So, Dark, how'd you land such a good case?"
"Huh?" They didn't look up, too busy trying to keep from tripping on the rocky terrain.
"You know, the Warfstache case." He peered over his shoulder for a moment. "I've been campaigning the Committee for them to put me on the case for who knows how long. And I know I'm not the only one." Dark was well aware of how many people wanted the case, their mind wandering to a certain music wizard. Illinois continued, "So, how'd you do it?"
"Why do you care?"
"Just making small talk," he answered innocently with a shrug. "Who wouldn't want to know how you managed to land a career-making case like this? No offense, but finding a treasure like the Time Wand seems like a lot for an inexperienced wizard such as yourself."
Dark ignored the dig at their inexperience; they were used to getting remarks like that from nearly everyone they met at this point. But something about his words made them stop in their tracks. "Treasure?" they repeated, staring at his back. "Is this all just another treasure hunt to you?"
"No, of course not." Illinois turned to face them, flashing his signature smile. "I'm here to help you find Warfstache. But you can't deny the thrill of uncovering one of the most important relics to wizardkind. Not to mention the fame and fortune you could earn once you bring it back to the Committee-" He held the torch up, finally seeing Dark's scowling face in the firelight. "Come on, don't look at me like that."
“This is a serious case about a dangerous criminal and all you care about is the thrill of it? You don’t know what I’ve had to go through trying to track him down, attempting not to get shot or thrown off a cliff or burnt at the stake, and you’re just going to barge in here to get a shot at the fucking fame and fortune?” Dark’s voice rose steadily, red sparks starting to dance across their fists, knuckles white as they held tight to their cane.
“Well, hey now-“ Illinois attempted to interrupt, raising a hand in a placating manner as he eyed the loose magic coming off of Dark.
“No, you shut up!” Dark yelled, glaring at Illinois as the magic started to spark more dangerously, some sparks leaping off of them and hitting the floor. “I am sick and tired of you dumb sycophants marching around going on about how wonderful working on this case it, it’s such an opportunity, aren’t I lucky? I’m not doing this for fun, I’m doing this because I have to bring Wilford motherfucking Warfstache to justice!”
Dark's words echoed through the tunnels. The red magic exploded off of them, colliding with the cavern walls and cracking the rock. Dirt and pebbles began to fall from the ceiling. They could barely process Illinois shouting "Watch out!" before they were shoved backwards, barely missing being crushed by a falling boulder.
Dark regained their bearings as the dust cleared. Rocks now filled the thin tunnel, forming a blockade between them and Illinois. The adventurer was coughing, before clearing his throat and shouting "Are you alright?" His voice was serious, without a hint of humor or flirting.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm alright," they muttered, moving towards the blockage. They lifted a smaller rock from the pile in an attempt to make a way through, but it only caused the pile to shift dangerously towards them. They heaved a great sigh. "What are we going to do?"
"Go back down the tunnel, to the last crossroads we passed," Illinois shouted. "The tunnels should all let out eventually. I'll go on ahead and meet you outside."
"Are you sure?" They looked back down the tunnel they came from, a sinking feeling filling their stomach as they looked into the empty blackness.
"Absolutely!" They could hear the confident smile in Illinois' voice. "I'll see you on the other side, partner." They heard the sound of footsteps fading into the distance.
Dark sucked in a breath, clasping their hand closed. They squeezed their eyes shut, focusing all their energy to their hand. Slowly, they opened their shaking fingers, squinting as a small orb of magic filled the cavern with bright, red light. They took their first steps forward back down the tunnel. They focussed on the light in their hand, both to keep the cave lit and to keep their mind from wandering to wild ideas of what might lurk beyond the shadows.
.
.
The tunnel had been sloping up for some time now, giving Dark hope that they would find the exit soon enough. They quickened their pace, but only for a moment as the mysterious sound from earlier echoing through the tunnel made them stop dead in their tracks. The noise only grew closer and closer. They began to back up, ready to run at the first sign of danger. Suddenly the noise was right in front of them. They held up the glowing orb in their hand to illuminate the whole cavern, finally spying the source of the noise.
A small, chittering monkey.
Dark chuckled to themselves, realizing how frightened they had been by such a silly little thing. They kneeled down in front of it, holding the light out as the monkey cautiously approached with eyes transfixed on the bit of magic. "Hello there, little guy." Dark smiled at the animal, just about relaxed from the tense journey through the tunnels, when it hit them. JJ said the portal was taking them to Australia. There weren't any monkeys in Australia. They looked down at the creature again, only able to mutter, "Well, you're a long way from home, aren't you?"
The monkey simply batted at the magic light a couple times, before a faint whistle rang out through the tunnel. The monkey immediately turned and ran back towards the source of the noise. Dark stood up, briefly contemplating the ridiculousness of what they were about to do before taking off after the monkey.
As they ran, they realized that the tunnel was slowly getting brighter and brighter. They extinguished the magic orb, shaking their hand as they went to help with how cramped it felt after holding the spell for so long. It wasn't long before they finally spied the opening of the cave, the literal light at the end of the tunnel.
They skidded to a halt as soon as they made it outside. It must have stopped raining during their adventures down in the cave, as sunlight now gently poured through the treetops above. They squinted as they looked around, eyes not yet adjusted to the bright light outside the cave. They were now in a forest clearing, the tranquil scene completely cut off from the rest of the woods by thick foliage. The soft grass underfoot practically glittered in the sunlight, still wet with raindrops from the earlier storm.
In the center of it all was the jarring sight of Wilford Warfstache. He sat in the middle of the clearing, surrounded by monkeys. The monkey from the cave was perched on his shoulder, playing with the bright pink mess that was Wilford's hair. He cradled a smaller one in his arms. On his right, two monkeys fought over the contents of an open, metal lunchbox; and on his left, a single monkey batted at the pieces of a travel chessboard.
Dark approached the bizarre scene slowly, both out of confusion and out of hope to not scare off the thief. As soon as they got close, Wilford looked up from the baby monkey in his arms and smiled at them. "Hello there, friend! It's been a while, hasn't it?"
"It really hasn't," Dark scoffed. In the last month they'd cornered him five times, the fourth time being only a few blocks from Crime Department headquarters.
"Ah well, time tends to get jumbled for me every now and then." He shrugged, gently placing the small monkey next to the one at the chessboard, intently watching the two of them knock over with the wooden pieces as if he were watching a professional chess match.
Dark let out a resigned sigh. "What the hell do you think you're doing out here? And where did these monkeys come from?!"
"Oh, I'm having a picnic! As for the monkeys, I'm not quite sure. I opened a portal looking for my lunchbox and they all fell through. They make decent company, though." He reached into the lunchbox, pulling out a piece of fruit and holding it out to Dark. "Banana?"
"No thanks," they said, staring down at the thief with dismay. "You're under arrest."
Wilford laid back in the grass with a dramatic sigh. "Every time with the arrest talk. It gets so boring after a while."
Dark sputtered, stomping forward and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt with their free hand, pulling him up just enough to get close to his face. "Boring?! I'm arresting you, you idiot! This isn't just some game!"
"If it isn't a game, then why do I have so much fun every time I see you?"
Dark let out a yell of frustration. While they stood there, trying their hardest to get the severity of the situation through to the grinning madman, they spotted movement in the tree on the edge of the clearing. They turned to face it, still clutching to Wilford's shirt.
Illinois appeared into view, expertly cutting down the dense plantlife with his magic. When he spotted Dark, his features quickly lit up with that signature smile of his. He jogged right up to them, glancing between them and Warfstache.
"I'm so glad you made it out okay!" he said, patting Dark on the shoulder. "And you've managed to catch our man! If you weren't a detective, you'd make a fine Tracker."
"Thanks," they grumbled.
Illinois turned to Wilford with a smug grin. "So, this is the man who's been stirring up so much trouble in the Committee."
"That's me," Wilford confirmed, and held out a hand. "Wilford Warfstache, pleasure to meet you."
"The name's Illinois Jenkins." He returned the handshake. "You're much more polite than the Committee files make you out to be, Willford. Much more handsome, too."
"Are you serious right now?" Dark looked to Illinois with a mixture of disgust and confusion. They shoved Wilford towards Illinois. "Fine, if you're going to be flirting with the criminal, then you get to watch him."
"Don't mind if I do," Illinois winked at Wilford, looping their arms together.
"Oh, I like this one," Wilford smiled. "Hey Dark, you should bring your friends more often."
"He's not my friend," Dark scoffed at the two.
"He's not?"
"I'm not?"
"No, I mean, I-" They sputtered before letting out a strangled, aggravated sigh. They ran a hand through their hair in frustration. "I'm not doing this right now. I'm just going to call JJ to take us back to the Crime Department. Then I can finally be done with this case."
"The Crime Department?" Wilford echoed, his shoulders sagging with exaggerated disappointment. "Do we really have to go to that dreary old dump? I'd much rather go someplace more fun, like a carnival. Or a good old-fashioned disco; I haven't been to one of those in a good while."
Illinois smiled and patted his arm. "Usually, I'd love to spend more time with someone as handsome as you, but I'm afraid we have to complete our assignment and turn you in."
Dark shook their head. As much as they hated the Tracker's incessant flirting, they were consistently impressed with his ability to keep a cool head throughout this strange adventure. His confidence never wavered from when they were lost in the caves to now, as he managed to keep Wilford of all people occupied with his charm. Maybe this partnership with Illinois would work out after all.
They turned their attention to their watch, turning their back to the two men. They needed to muster up all the energy they could to cast the communication spell, and they really couldn't have those two and their outrageous personalities distracting them.
Illinois huffed as he watched Dark set to work on the communication spell. This was the part of the adventure he always disliked. He loved the thrill of the chase, but once the chase was over there was nothing left to do but file reports and wait around for the next assignment. He glanced over Wilford, who was telling a nearly incomprehensible story about the last time he was at a disco while Illinois spaced out. As he talked the Tracker looked the thief up and down, his heart skipping a beat when his eyes caught a flash of gold within his coat.
"Is that it?" Illinois said, pointing at the wand.
"Is what what?" Wilford stared at him for far too long before blinking and following his hand. "Ah! That's what you're talking about. Yes, this is that wand everyone's always yelling about." He pulled the wand out of his coat with a flourish, twirling it in his fingers.
"Can I hold it? I've never seen a Core Wand in real life before." Illinois could barely contain his excitement, eyes glued on the artifact in front of him.
"I don't see why not. You seem nice enough." Wilford plopped the wand into Illinois’ outstretched hands.
Illinois stood awestruck for what felt like an eternity. He never imagined that he could be holding such an immensely powerful artifact like the Time Wand, let alone have it handed to him in such a nonchalant way, by the very person who stole it. Once he regained his composure, Illinois began to examine the wand. He could practically feel the powerful magic radiating off the centuries old piece of wood. He turned it over in his hand, admiring how the intricately carved details of its gold handle shimmered in the afternoon sun. After thoroughly examining the wand's details, he readjusted his grip to hold it by the handle, even posing with it like a child playing with a wooden sword.
Wilford started to fidget the longer Illinois held onto the wand, tapping his foot on the soft grass. "You've had your fun. Now can you please give the wand back?" he asked, his nerves obvious as he spoke.
Illinois looked down at the wand in his hand, the gold reflecting in his eyes as he cracked a deceptive smile. "No. I think I'll hold on to this for now. I'm sure the Committee will be happy to see it once we return to the present."
In an instant Wilford threw himself at Illinois, nearly toppling him over. He grabbed at the wand, trying desperately to wrench it out of the Tracker's hands. "Give it back! I need it!" he cried, now fully engaged in a desperate game of tug-of-war with the dangerous artifact. "You don't understand- I still haven't found them!"
"Found them?!" Illinois yelled in confusion, his voice strained as he struggled to regain his hold on the wand. Even as he focused on the fight, he was acutely aware that Dark had joined the fray, grabbing the thief from behind in an attempt to pull him away from the wand. "Who could you possibly be trying to find?!"
"I don't know, I just know they're important! Now give it back!" Wilford yelled. In the scuffle, he managed to wrench the wand downwards, golden magic erupting from it and colliding with the ground. The magic swirled, eventually forming a portal into an unknown field. The whimsical, pink bubbles that normally adorned the surroundings instead bubbled violently, like the surface of a pot of water left boiling for too long.
The force of the magic making contact with the ground was enough to knock back the three wizards. Wilford, who miraculously still held onto the wand, was the first to recover from the blast. He took one glance at the other two, locking eyes with Dark as they began to pull themselves up from the ground, and gave a quick wave before diving head first into the portal.
"No!" Dark yelled. They threw themself at that thief, but met nothing but empty air. The portal was gone, the only remnant of it being there was a few pink bubbles which soon popped out of existence too. They silently stood in the middle of the clearing for only a moment before unleashing a string of frustrated curses at the top of their lungs.
"Damn," Illinois said. Dark whipped around to see the Tracker leisurely pulling himself into a sitting position. He grabbed his hat off the ground, brushed some dirt off of it, and repositioned it on his head. "I thought I had him!"
"You… selfish prick!" Dark stomped over to the Tracker, yelling down as he simply lounged in the grass with the comfort of someone on vacation. "If you hadn't been so focused on your little treasure hunt, we'd be back at the Department with Warfstache behind bars! But you just had to try and take the wand for yourself!"
Illinois stared up at them, his smile slowly fading. He pulled in his legs, hugging his knees and leaning his chin on his arms. "You're right. It's my fault Wilford got away. I'm sorry."
Dark's anger subsided as they locked eyes with the Tracker. They sighed, running a hand through their hair. They took a seat next to the Tracker, gently tossing their cane onto the grass beside them. Now that they were sitting, they could feel all their injuries sink in. Their entire body ached. They suspected that they would find themself covered in bruises from not one but two times falling onto the rocks.
"Are you going to call JJ to portal us out of here?"
"Yeah, just give me a minute," Dark said, laying their head in their hands.
"Y'know, Wilford mentioned trying to find someone using the Time Wand." Illinois looked over at the detective. "Do you know what he meant by that?"
Dark was silent, gently rubbing circles over the scarred part of their face. Finally, they spoke. "No idea. I’ve been chasing him for a while now, and… I’ve never really seen him with another person, at least never for very long.”
"It's still a lead, maybe you can look into it when we get back to the Department."
"Maybe," they said. "Speaking of, I better contact JJ. I'm sure Abe is anxious to hear about how this all went."
Illinois hummed, leaning back and leaning his head on Dark's shoulder. "You know, we don't have to call JJ right this moment," he said, looking up at them with a twinkle in his eye. "This is a pretty, dare I say, romantic location. I mean, the place is already set up for a picnic. What do you say? How about a date?"
Dark stared at him, barely repressing a laugh. They really wanted to be mad, but something about his neverending flirting seemed funny in this somber moment. "That's never going to happen," they scoffed, pushing him off of their shoulder.
Illinois flopped over onto the ground, dramatically clutching at his heart. "You wound me, Dark," he sighed through a grin. "I'll win you over one of these days."
"You'll keep trying," Dark said, rolling their eyes. They stood from their seat with a groan, offering a hand to Illinois as he grinned up at them. "Come on, let's get going."
.
.
"- and then, the cave collapsed, leaving Dark and I seperated. But, thanks to our impressive tracking skills, we were both able to find our ways out of the caves. By the time I arrived, Dark had already cornered Warfstache-"
Dark sat in a chair in Abe's office, listening as Illinois enthusiastically recounted their adventure, plus a few embellishments. Their eyes darted between the two men; Illinois, with his foot propped up on a stack of criminal case files as he gestured wildly to illustrate his story, and Abe, who watched the Tracker with chin propped up on folded hands, every so often glancing at Dark in disbelief whenever Illinois detailed his own heroic deeds.
"It all came down to an epic fight, Dark and me versus the thief. I managed to grab hold of the Time Wand, but alas, Warfstache was able to overpower the two of us and escape through a time portal." Illinois leaned back in his chair as he finished relating the day’s events.
"I see," Abe said, with an eyebrow raised. He turned to Dark, who could see he was only barely keeping a straight face. "Is this all true?"
"More or less," they shrugged.
"Then that's all I need from you. Thank you, Illinois." Abe gave the Tracker a polite smile, gesturing to the office door.
Illinois tipped his hat. "Always happy to help," he said, shooting a wink at Dark before leaving the office.
As soon as the door closed, Abe turned his full attention to Dark. "So," he said, drumming his fingers on the desk. "How was working with Jenkins?"
Dark thought for a moment, twirling their cane with one hand. "It wasn't completely horrible," they said after a moment. "Illinois was actually pretty nice after I got to know him."
"Aw, look at you making friends." Abe smirked, but it was clear that his sentiment was genuine.
"We're not friends," Dark said without thinking. They paused, before continuing. "Not yet, anyway. I'd have to try talking to him when I'm not working- or, at least not in a life-threatening situation like today." Abe nodded in understanding. "That reminds me, I have a new lead on where to find Warfstache next."
Abe sat up in his desk chair. "What is it?"
"During the fight with Warfstache," Dark began, noting Abe's look of disbelief. "Yes, we did actually fight him, but it was far less epic than Illinois described it as. Anyway, while we were fighting, Warfstache said he needed the Time Wand to find someone."
"Did he say who it was?"
"No. He doesn't know who he's looking for, just that they're important to him."
Abe sat back in his chair, stroking his chin in thought. He then spun around in his chair, standing to pace around the room, eyes darting around the conspiracy wall that took up the office. "Years of searching and never once has this thief mentioned looking for anyone," he mused. He paused in front of a particular section of the wall, where clippings of police reports noting Warfstache's known accomplices were pinned up alongside glossy photos of the suspects.
Dark stood from their own seat, moving around the desk to stand next to Abe. "I have an idea about who he may be talking about, but I'm not sure. I'm going to stop by the old bookshop tomorrow. There might be some clues the Department overlooked."
"Are you sure?" Abe looked at his friend. He could sense their anxiety spike as soon as they mentioned the bookshop. "You haven't been back there since-"
"I know," Dark cut him off. They knew what he wanted to say, but they couldn't bear to hear it said out loud. "But if it could mean catching Warfstache, I have to go."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"No, I should be fine. Thank you, though." They decided it was time they took their leave, and began to walk out of the room.
"Dark?" Abe said just as they reached for the office's doorknob. "You know I'll always be there for you, right? You don't have to do everything alone."
"I know," they said, shoulders drooping slightly. They didn't even look back at their friend as they opened the door and stepped into the hallway, shutting the door behind them.
.
.
"Dark, over here!" Dark was halfway down the front steps of Crime Department headquarters when they were pulled out of their own thoughts by a certain adventurer shouting their name. Illinois stood at the bottom of the steps, waving with one hand, the other propped on his hip.
"Illinois? I thought you left already," Dark quickly padded down the stone steps to meet up with the Tracker.
"I was about to head home, but I wanted to talk to you about something first," he said.
"I swear, if you're trying to ask me out again-"
"No, not that. But the offer is always on the table," he winked. He then cleared his throat, straightening his posture. "I just wanted to talk about today. Even though it wasn't perfect-"
"That's an understatement," Dark crossed their arms, noting the fact that they were still aching from their tumble onto the rocks earlier that day. They’d have to check by Henrik’s to make sure they hadn’t gotten anything worse than bruises.
"You're right, it was a disaster," Illinois chuckled. "But I think you and I make a great team. And I want to help you catch Warfstache, honest. What I'm saying is, with your permission, I'd like to ask the Wizard Committee to assign me to the case again. So what do you say, want to continue the adventure?" He opened his arms in a welcoming gesture, his normal confidence melted away to reveal his genuine intentions.
Dark averted their eyes. They weren't sure how to respond. They appreciated his offer, but they'd spent years committed to this case as their sole mission, and accepting a practical stranger's help would be a difficult thing to do. "It'll be difficult convincing the Committee to let you take the case again," they said after a moment. It wasn't quite a refusal, but not an acceptance either. "We'll just have to see."
Before either could say another word, there was a shout from the top of the stairs, drawing both’s attention. Dark recognized the voice instantly, and they wanted to disappear.
Mare made his way quickly down the stairs, stopping just a few steps above Dark and Illinois. Illinois didn't seem as bothered by the other man's appearance as Dark was, but they still noticed the slight defensive shift in his stance towards them as he recognized their discomfort.
"Relax," Mare grumbled, glaring at Illinois. Turning to Dark, he added, "You know, handcuffs tend to come in handy when you've caught a criminal." Before Dark could say anything, Mare shoved a pair of shiny magic handcuffs in their arms. "You should keep a pair on you at all times."
Dark wasn't quite sure what to say, or whether they should be insulted or not. "I- I had handcuffs," they stuttered. They wanted to kick themselves for forgetting though, and for having to have Mare of all people remind them.
Mare crouched down to look them in the eye, a patronizing smile on his face. "Well then use them next time, dumbass."
"Well, now, don't blame them," Illinois spoke up, placing a hand on Mare's shoulder. "I was the one in charge of holding Warfstache."
"You" — Mare harshly pulled his shoulder away from Illinois as he straightened himself — "should know better. You'd think two idiots would be able to catch one thief, but I guess two wrongs don't make a right."
Dark opened their mouth to spit back a retort, but a wink from Illinois told them he'd handle it.
"Come now, Mare," Illinois said smoothly. "Harsh words can ruin a pretty face like yours."
Dark couldn't tell if the red spreading across Mare's face was from anger, or if the flirting had actually gotten to him, though they were pretty sure if Illinois said another word, he'd be met with a fist to the face. They took a step back, not wanting to get caught up in whatever happened next.
To their surprise, however, Mare suddenly relaxed, taking a few deep breaths. The detective glared at Illinois and then at Dark, and then, with a muttered, "Piss off," shoved past them both. Stunned, Dark watched Mare stride across the Department plaza.
Illinois was first to break the silence. "What was that all about?" he said with a chuckle.
"Who knows," Dark huffed, and shrugged. "He's always looking for ways to make my life a living hell. He's been doing it less lately, at least."
"Maybe he's finally coming around to see what a truly amazing person you are."
Dark scoffed, both at the compliment and at the idea of Mare starting to like them. "Yeah, right. He probably just got bored." They fiddled with their cane, unsure of what else to say. "I… should get going. I have a lot of work to do tomorrow."
"I understand. If you come to a decision about working with me again, let me know." Illinois nodded. "See you around, Dark."
And with a tip of Illinois' hat, the two went their separate ways.
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I used a sewing machine for most of the thread work, and I think it turned out pretty well considering it was my first time ever using one. Their hair is a bit of a mess, but I think the bracelet turned out okay!
Also they don’t have boots because I was too lazy they didn’t want to
Wiggles looks down at his watch, letting out a small chuckle. "Well, would you look at them time. Thanks for keeping me company all day, but I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. It’s closing time."
You smile at Wiggles. He looked at you in confusion.
"I’m not joking. The Clown Car’s officially closed for business. Scram."
Thank you to everyone who sent in questions! Hope you had a great Humor Wizard Day! April Fools!
"Yeah, back during my clowning days. He used to swing by my performances with one of his friends all the time. Uh, I haven't really seen him since a couple years after I opened the bar. He's become more committed to his work, I guess. Even back in the day I thought he was too uptight."
"I've only seen them at the bar a couple times. Sometimes with Abe, sometimes by themselves. They never stay for long, they're busy with the Warfstache case after all. They seem nice enough.
I mostly know them from gossip, it seems like everyone at the Crime Department has their own theory as to how a rookie like Dark managed to get the biggest case in recent history. Personally, I think that Dark knew Warfstache before he stole the Time Wand. But, of course, it's just a theory."
“Well, it’s always good to see PJ. After all the wizards I deal with every day, seeing that mundane is a breath of fresh air.
Jackie’s a big help too. Honestly, if it weren’t for him and PJ, I probably would’ve quit this job too by now. Between keeping Mare and the rest of the Crime Department in line during happy hour and picking up Henrik, Jackie has been a lifesaver.
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Wow,, spill the tea Wiggles. Do you have any fun bad customer stories? Anyone that really bugged you?
He lets out a long sigh. "They're all bad customers... I guess a 'fun' story would be that time Randal brought in a whole flock of pigeons. They took up the entire bar! But, he ordered a round of shots for them all and who am I to refuse a paying customer?
As for people who bug me, the Sharp brothers for sure. Nightmares, the both of them."
Wow, Wiggles, you know anything about that Anti fella?
"Anti's one of my regulars. At least, I'm pretty sure that's what his name is. He got sick of me calling him 'fella' one night and told me to call him Anti, so...
I honestly don't know much about him. He always comes in late at night when the bar is empty and orders a whiskey. He doesn't talk much after that, but he's a good listener. He lets me vent about some of the mooks who come into the bar. He always wears sunglasses and a scarf, even at 2am in the summer. Eh, who am I to judge? I still wear this stupid clown makeup even though I'm retired."