So nobody asked, but:
I wanted to kind of explain my absence and apologise for some stuff I feel bad about that add into the reasons I have decided to take a step back from the internet:
So I've spent all of my adult life and the majority of my teen life posting art online, and when doing that I made it my whole life, and really neglected real life, which wasn't good for me at all. I've realised I developed a really unhealthy relationship with the internet and treated it like the main part of living. Working on art 99% of the time isolated me from my friends, and I really just became genuinely unhealthily attached to my characters, and the internet. I think that in tandem with them gaining a (though relatively small, big to me) audience created a really bizarre experience for me where characters that were like my whole world were now in the hands of other people with entirely different views of who they were, and that stressed me out a tonne. Now that I think about it there are a lot of times where I've been passive aggressive, or even just fully unkind in response to what were at their worst mildly annoying comments, which is just really unprofessional and embarrassing, and I'm really sorry for behaving that way. I remember before I started posting my comics I followed an artist who I always thought was a bit passive aggressive to her well meaning followers which made me sad and think a little less of her. Now I look back at that and worry I ended up doing the same, which just really upsets me. I feel that I spent a long time letting some obsessive behaviors run wild, and now I can look back and realise that wasn't healthy! Where I am now, my characters are just not my whole world, art isn't my whole world- and when I look back at who I was even less than a year ago I feel really ashamed. I really don't like the way I interacted with my audience, I don't like how I felt about my characters, and I don't like how I shared so much of myself on here as a version of myself I really dislike. I rarely respond to comments (which I feel both really bad about but, also kind of glad about in hindsight), but if I ever responded to anyone who's reading this' comment in a way that was dismissive or passive aggressive or just jumping to defend myself then I'm really genuinely sorry, I shouldn't have responded like that- I was immature and behaving wrongly. Thank you for taking the time to criticise my work! I'm glad you found anything I made worth giving the time to criticise. I feel like I became way too close with my followers on this account, I remember one person asked me medical advice and I wasn't even comfortable not answering the ask- I replied? I'm almost 100% sure I replied saying something like please ask a doctor, not me- but I'm bothered by the fact I couldn't just not answer at all. (But if you are the person who asked please don't feel bad, I hope you have it all figured out I'm just saying it's wild I responded). I hope that all makes sense.
So basically I feel I was bad at setting boundaries, and that when I thought of boundaries for myself to follow when posting- I was too reliant on being online to stick to them, because I kind of felt like this was the only place I could just share the crazy stuff in my life that I didn't feel comfortable telling people in real life about. Which now really is in conflict with how I view professional conduct. I just feel really haunted by the way I acted, to readers to friends and just on this account as a whole. So nobody's ever told me I'm too online, but I WAS too online, and that that's why I'm not posting anymore. I don't want to share my secrets with the internet and I don't want an online presence- I'm incredibly grateful that people read my comics and I'm so sorry for the times when I've acted so ungrateful, It's genuinely amazing that anyone has any interest in anything I've made! I really just don't think I was someone who could handle people having interest in things I've made and now I would rather just do my thing without bothering the people who like my thing. I feel kind of embarrassed posting this because literally nobody asked, but also if anyone out there kind of thought about asking then this is for you, I'm really wholeheartedly sorry! I think about this every day and I just want to put a little statement here in case anyone wonders whats up and why I've stopped posting. I understand that because I posted a tonne some people probably care and that also makes me feel really bad, and so I think it'd be nicer to give an explanation.
So yeah that's pretty much all that, and I hope you're all doing well! Thank you so much for reading my comics
