B 🐝

ok i am finally answering one of those bc 👀

my prompts are closed as i'm working through my backlog but my ask box is open for chatting and hc requests <3

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"Ah, can you make me one as well?"

JJ looked up from where he was mixing drinks behind the deserted bar, and was met with the sight of a very handsome man who was most definitely not a hockey player. His posture was much too good, and he looked like he still had all of his real teeth. Also, his English sounded accented in a way JJ couldn't place right away.

JJ always loved making new friends.

"But of course! What do you want?" He gestured to the selection of alcohol and mixers.

"Oh, you speak French, yes?" the man said. JJ noticed how straight his nose was, probably never having been broken. "Make me whatever you're drinking," he added, now switching to French.

JJ felt himself light up. "OH, hell yes!" He quickly poured another one. "It's a special mixture, which I just made up! Only for nice people who also speak French." He held out the drink. "But you're not from Canada, are you? France, then? Wait, let me guess- Paris!"

The man laughed elegantly. "Lucky guess."

"Ha, for real?" JJ laughed, proud of himself for guessing correctly.

"Yes. But Moscow by birth." An elegant hand reached out to take the drink from JJ.

"Oh!" JJ exclaimed, leaning in, intrigued. "So you're friends with Rozanov?!"

The man laughed, throwing his head back. "Friends is a stretch, now. We used to be really good friends, as kids. And when we were older, we fucked." He said it very casually. "It did not work out, but I am still friends with Sveta, and she is still best friends with Ilya-"

JJ found himself hanging onto his lips, loving the way he pronounced Rozanov's name. JJ couldn't help himself: he loved interesting people.

"-so now you are here at your ex's thirty-fifth birthday?"

"Yes, exactly. Funny, isn't it?" The man clinked his glass against JJ's. "I'm Sasha, by the way."

"Ah, nice to meet you, Sasha!" JJ quickly wiped his hands on his slacks, then stuck one out towards Sasha, who shook it with a laugh. "Jean-Jaques Boiziau, fomerly Hollzy's teammate. You can call me JJ."

"What if I call you Jean?" Sasha asked, cocking his head. "It's a nice name." Something odd and new prickled in the back of JJ's neck. Sasha was... pretty. Like girls were pretty.

"That's fine, too." JJ leaned onto the counter. "So, why Paris?"

"Because I did not want to end up in the fucking gulag for being gay in Russia," Sasha said lightly, gesturing with his drink, "I went to Paris for university, then stayed. It's just special. It's a shithole sometimes, and expensive as fuck, but it's just so..." Sasha sighed gesturing vaguely.

"I've always wanted to visit!" JJ said, "Y'know, see the Eiffel tower, eat some frog legs..."

Sasha laughed, rolling his eyes. "Tourist things!"

"Yes, I will be a tourist!" JJ argued with a grin, "So I will do tourist things!" Sasha leaned against the bar, bringing them closer together, and JJ let his eyes trail over his face once again. First him, then Hollzy. There were many things one could say about Ilya Rozanov, but he definitely had taste; JJ had no problem admitting when a man was handsome. "Fine, then tell me what else I can do in Paris! But the Eiffel tower is a must."

Sasha caught JJ's gaze, holding it in a way that suddenly made JJ's stomach swoop. "You can text me when you're there, I'll give you a tour."

I’ve reread this scene about a hundred times because I’m currently writing an Anya fic, and somewhere in those hundred times something struck me: the only family that really loved and cared for Ilya abandoned him too. It wasn’t her fault. Irina was sick. But she still left him, and no one acknowledged how terrible that was when it happened because it was more important to save face and pretend it was an accident. Ilya wasn’t allowed to voice his pain or rage when it happened to him. With Anya, he gets to say it. He gets to acknowledge the cruelty of being left behind.

But even though she was abandoned, Anya is not mistrustful. She’s a happy-go-lucky dog, lovable and friendly with everyone. She carries this wound of abandonment, yet every time she meets a new person, all they notice is how friendly she is. How happy. A lot of formerly abandoned dogs are like this: desperate for affection, sweet, friendly to everyone. Doing everything they can to make themselves so lovable that no one will ever leave them again.

That’s the Ilya we see in Role Model. Boisterous, friendly, taking care of everyone else’s pain while hiding his own. It’s not until we get his POV in The Long Game that we see how much he’s suffering.

Shane sees it. When Anya cries at their bedroom door, Shane postpones his very favorite thing to do (fucking his boyfriend) because Anya is scared and alone. He gives Ilya permission to meet her needs, and Ilya can’t move fast enough.

I can’t screenshot the book bc my copy has it spread on two pages, but he says,

“Anya, sweet girl. What is the matter? Are you lonely?”

I think it’s really important we’re in Shane’s POV here. Shane heard her cry first. Shane said, “go get her.” Shane, Mr. “now the bed’s all dirty,” let Anya sleep in their bed because she was alone and she needed it. Shane is not the emotionally illiterate autistic stereotype the fandom makes him out to be. He’s already noticed this loneliness before with Ilya

The difference is, Anya asks for what she needs and lets them give it to her. Shane gets to be there for her in a way Ilya isn’t ready to accept yet. Ilya gets to give her the care he didn’t get as a child who lost his mother. They both can address Anya’s loneliness because she is a dog and she feels safe enough with them to ask.

Meanwhile, Ilya…

He’s not ready. Shane can’t give him what he needs yet because Ilya won’t let him, has spent too long denying his own wound.