| * rebe

there was no part of rebe that wanted to climb out of ezra’s bed, drag her ass down to the park and have this conversation with theo. but she knew that she had to, if there was any hope at all of getting back to the friendship they had before everything seemed to blow up. she was glad she had enough common sense to dig through the clean laundry, and make sure everything she was wearing was actually hers. despite the hundreds of thoughts that were racing through her head, she found the long walk to be therapeutic. when she finally arrived at the park, she spotted theo right away. “hey,” she mumbled softly, testing the waters.

perhaps there’s some cognitive dissonance on both of their parts. an inability to fully understand the other’s position because they choose to forget one piece of information and replace it with another. all that miles can think is that rebe must be living on another planet if she ever thought that ezra didn’t hate him. anyone in their circle, in their groupchat, in their town could feel the utter disdain from the other male toward miles. it only seemed to be getting worse in the recent weeks – perhaps partly because the blonde forked over her biggest secret to the guy. “i find it odd that the two people you chose to tell are ezra and theo… don’t you have cj or lennon that you could dish to? ezra has never liked me,” he reminds her, shaking his head. a soft chuckle leaves his lips. what more can he say in this moment? everyone in his life seems to take his words and make sculptures of them that signify something far different than what he means. and it’s exhausting. he’s never seen so many pieces of art that make him so damn nauseated. “rebe. regardless, when you choose to say things in a group setting that indicate your relationship with ezra is more than friendly, maybe that’s when you should reach out to people who should know. theo and i aren’t exactly strangers to you and ezra. your excuses don’t negate the way you’ve made me feel,” he blinks a few times, taking a step back. “you’re also a terrible fucking liar, but i’ll take your words for what they are and trust you mean them,” miles swallows, hands slipping into his pockets. he isn’t sure this conversation needs to continue. “i’m sorry. i know none of this has a road map, but i’m still a little hurt. maybe we should talk a different time.”

“he’s still kind of pissed about the outing thing, but that doesn’t mean he hates you, miles. how could anyone hate you?” as far as she knew, she had no reason to believe the tension between the two was as bad as miles was making it out to be. ezra would have told her, right? if he really hated miles, it would have been brought up by now. especially back in high school, when even the mention of miles’ name sent chills down her spine, she would have remembered if ezra said anything mean about him. “i think cj knows. i sort of mentioned some things to her, but i left out names. i’m pretty sure she guessed it though,” rebe informed him, even though that was something she probably should have done a few weeks sooner. “are you- i know you’re upset that ezra knows, but are you mad that i told theo?” it never felt like this before, like she was constantly walking on eggshells around him, constantly afraid that she was doing something that would upset him. “i didn’t think what i was saying in the group chat was anything unusual for what ezra and i were normally like before all of this. but i knew at some point this,” she pointed back and forth between the two of them, “conversation would have to happen. i just didn’t expect it to happen so soon. just like if when you start hanging out with someone i wouldn’t expect you to tell me about it week one.” she wonders if its obvious to miles, the way all of her thoughts always have been, that she’s talking about dante. there seems to be a war going on in her head, in which half of her is wholeheartedly convinced that miles has never stopped being in love with his ex, that dante is better for him than she is in every conceivable way, that she is an idiot for taking this fucking long to realize. and the other half, that is repeatedly reminding her that her thoughts have always been self loathing in whatever way they can be, and this is no exception. this half is fighting so hard to hold onto whatever hope she has left, because, fuck, she has made a lot of mistakes, but giving up on the boy in front of her has never, will never be one of them. “i just don’t want you to worry about me.” its honest, as honest as she can be without admitting that they both knew she had just lied. “yeah, we don’t have to talk if you’re not,” there’s a pause, she’s struggling to find the right word, “ready?” 

a smile crosses levi’s features as rebe takes the cup of coffee from his hand. “ well, i could say i had an ulterior motive, but i don’t think ezra would like that very much, “ he retorted with a light chuckle, the comment accented with a playful wink. there’s a lot of uncharted territory in his newfound friendship with rebe, but the flirtatious nature that he’s always had with the blonde is a hard habit to break. “ i doubt you would have made things worse, “ levi offered, leaning up against the storefront. his mind flashed to the night before, him walking back to campsite after a phone call and seeing the almost-fight between charlie and everyone else. he quickly shook the memory from his mind, eyes glancing back over at rebe. “ i guessed, honestly. when i heard the door open, i half expected ezra to walk out and not you. “

“oh? and why wouldn’t he like it?” the subject of her relationship with ezra was still a bit touchy, but she could keep the conversation lighthearted for as long as he could. “when you say it like that, it sounds like a challenge. and god, you know how much i love a challenge.” while she still didn’t know much about what had happened, she certainly didn’t regret missing the bonfire. “so, how bad was it? did anyone cry?” the girl prodded carefully, not sure what to expect. “guessed, huh? am i really getting that predictable?” she almost laughed, before taking a sip of her coffee. “c’mon, let’s walk and talk. unless that’s too much multitasking for you?” 

theo: i could at least be there for you.

theo: the park by the rec center?

rebe: yeah, the park is good

theo: that's where you're wrong. i do give a fuck. and while yes hearing about you and miles is a little weird, i'm still your friend and i want to help however i can but you won't let me.

theo: [ typing ]

theo: [ typing ]

theo: can we talk about this in person? we're not getting anywhere like this

rebe: what are you gonna do to help, theo? are you gonna magically convince miles to forgive me ??

rebe: [typing]

theo: how tf am i supposed to when all you give are vague answers when i ask how you're doing? half the time, you just brush the question off completely.

theo: i do want to talk about it, but not when we're like this.

theo: i just read through the chat again. no one said anything remotely like that. and they were calling us both out for that shit. idk why you think everyone's out to get you when we all care about you.

theo: maybe if you actually gave me straight answers, it'd be easier to listen.

rebe: i give you vague answers because we both know that you don’t actually give a fuck or wanna hear details about my relationship with your brother

rebe: oh so all of our conversations revolve around what you want and when you decide you want to talk, understood.

rebe: i can go back and fucking screenshot it since you don’t fucking believe me

theo: i wouldn't know because you never fucking talk to me.

theo: do you really /now/ is the right time for me to talk about this? we literally just spent the last hour fighting.

theo: i can't speak for them, you know that. and no one said you didn't matter. you do matter. but we can't just start fighting in the group chat just because.

theo: don't do that. i don't care what you say about me, but don't bring miles into this.

rebe: i do talk to you, you just don’t fucking pay attention

rebe: either you want to talk or you don’t theo but make up your fucking mind

rebe: clearly you weren’t reading that shit because people were definitely saying that. i’m not allowed to be annoyed but you’re allowed to be petty and passive aggressive?? got it.

theo: fine, it’s fucked up. happy?

theo: she’s doing better than the rest of us. i don’t want to talk about it.

theo: fuck rebe it’s not my fault everyone jumped down your throat and not mine in the group chat, i didn’t ask them to do that.

theo: i just ... don’t have the energy to fight with you any more so if that’s all we’re gonna do, i’m done here

rebe: no. of course not. when am i ever fucking happy?

rebe: oh sorry i forgot you only want to talk to ezra about this 🙄

rebe: you didn’t ask them, but they still do it every fucking time. do you even know how many of your friends told me that i don’t matter tonight??

theo: if i didn’t care about you we wouldn’t even be having this fucking conversation right now because it wouldn’t be important to me.

theo: thanks.

theo: because i’m fucking pissed right now?? to restore some of my faith in ezra that he can actually keep a promise?? idfk

rebe: if you cared about me you would realize how fucked up it is for you to be getting involved in someone else relationship

rebe: how is she?

theo: jfc i /do/ care about you and i don’t think you’re a shitty person. i want you to be happy. i just want to make sure it’s not a temporary happiness that’ll end up fucking you both over

theo: he found out on his own, i didn’t even know that he knew until he outed us in the group chat

theo: wow. just wow.

theo: cj already knows. that he was there to check on me because i just found out my mom has cancer. and he’s the only one who really understands what that’s like. but sure, blow it out of proportion.

rebe: if you actually cared about me you wouldn’t be up my ass worrying about who’s fucking life you clearly think i’m gonna ruin next.

rebe: i’m sorry about your mom

theo: no. i fully believe you care about him, but i’m allowed to feel the way i do.

theo: not that it’s any of your fucking business but we had promised each other not to tell anyone about us. but fuck a promise, i guess.

theo: then did he tell you that he came to see me in the middle of the night last week? since apparently there’s no fucking secrets between you

rebe: feel however the fuck you want but how are you gonna be my friend and pretend to care about me while also thinking i’m too shitty of a person to be with ezra?

rebe: i’m sorry didn’t miles know too??

theo: i’m not saying any of that!! you’re not even listening to me

theo: what the fuck

theo: i can’t believe this

theo: what else did he tell you?

rebe: that’s exactly what the fuck you’re implying. you think i’m gonna hurt him because i’m rebounding or whatever

rebe: why would you think he wouldn’t tell me??

theo: i never said you were a bad person. fucking hell, rebe, why is all of this such a big fucking deal?

theo: excuse me? what do you mean? how did you find out?

rebe: because that’s sure as fucking hell what you’re insinuating. like i’m good enough to be your friend but i’m not good enough to be with people you care about ??

rebe: i can’t believe i actually spent years feeling bad that i kept miles and i a secret from you

theo: no i don’t because i literally just care about you guys and your happiness

theo: and you were never supposed to find out about me and ezra but here we are

theo: i’m not on any fucking high horse. i know you guys were friends way before i even met him

rebe: and i care about you and cj. i just think you’re fundamentally a bad person and it’s never bothered me until now but now i think you’re gonna hurt her. fucked up, huh?

rebe: please you really think i found out in the group chat?

theo: you’re taking my concern for both of you and turning it against me when i’m just trying to look out for you

theo: okay fine maybe i am worried. just answer this for me, okay? is ezra just a rebound? or do you actually want to be with him?

rebe: you don’t see how fucked up it is for you to tell me your concerned in the first place?

rebe: i fucking knew it. god i never should have told you shit about miles

theo: that’s not at all what i’m trying to say

theo: but i know both of you and you each have your way about things and i just don’t want to see you guys hurt because of anything

rebe: oh you know us huh? so you just magically know that we’re gonna end up hurting each other?

theo: because i care about both of you???

theo: i don't want either of you hurting the other and it's bound to happen if you guys don't figure out wtf you're doing sooner rather than later

rebe: you realize how fucked up that is right?