….of love and other illusions

I’ve been sitting in my car, thinking about if this it’s right or not …

I don’t understand you… I tried so hard to be for you, that sometimes I feel like I’m loosing myself… I’m your friend, talk to me. What’s wrong? Gosh I hate when you just gave me the seen everywhere… it’s rude, mean and cruel … I’m not your partner, we are free to do whatever we want to do, but I like spend some time with you and not just in a sexual way; because we don’t have a Lot of sex, how I wish this can be…

When you went to my unit the first time, I told you I quit to find a partner or relationship, because it’s me, because even for a small friendship I give everything from me… and people like you doesn’t care, I deserve to have something mutual like everyone else

Plus you’re on tinder… don’t know what are you looking for … and looks clearly like it’s not me. I’m funny, clumsy, smart and pretty… and don’t understand why it’s always me, the one that’s not enough for the other half …

And really thank you for all your help with my car … I really appreciate it. Not many people/friends were able to help me this time …I’ve been loosing lot of friends because of my ping pong thing, when I see it’s not reciprocated I just disappear… but I don’t want to disappear of your life, we have to still working together and don’t want the things get awkward between us

I’m happy to be your friend or your lover, honestly prefer the lover part, friends I have enough … you know where I live, or my phone number and I’ll be there for you anytime you need me, even if you won’t

Sorry, feeling bit blue today.

Thank you for let me go