Juliko Bandito: Help me, I'm bleeding! Try to put pressure on him!
De La Voro: Vaffanculo, bleeding, otherwise I'll kick your didietro!
Juliko Bandito: You're pressure too hard.
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@wrongelheardsomewhere
Juliko Bandito: Help me, I'm bleeding! Try to put pressure on him!
De La Voro: Vaffanculo, bleeding, otherwise I'll kick your didietro!
Juliko Bandito: You're pressure too hard.

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Fuchs: What is love?
Lom: The reason the world turns!
Archibald Dandy: A delusional chemical reaction in the brain that causes people, like animals, to reproduce. so get this nonsense out of your brain and do something more useful.
Gangsters: 🎵Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, don't more...🎵
Fuchs: Most of all for breakfast I like to eat cheesecakes with jam, pancakes, scrambled eggs, omelette, oatmeal porridge, toast with ham...
Archibald Dandy: I like a cigarette.
Archibald Dandy: The first minutes of the morning are the best.
Gangsters: Hello, Chief.
Archibald Dandy: The minutes are over.
De La Voro: The computer monitor doesn't show pictures, no matter how I tap on it.
Archibald Dandy: It's a technique, you have to use your head here.
De La Voro: I tried with my head, it hurts more.

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De La Voro Gangsterito: The boss had a nervous breakdown, so I decided to visit him in a mental hospital.
Juliko Bandito: How did you get around the guards?
De La Voro Gangsterito: They mistook me for one of their own.
Archibald Dandy: Don't worry, I still have a couple of knives up my sleeve!
Fuchs: Maybe you meant "cards"?
Archibald Dandy: No.
Lom: What is your biggest fear?
Fuchs: Well... Probably arachnophobia
Lom: You don't want the spiders to get married?
(gangsters tell each other jokes)
De La Voro, Giulico Banditto: Do you know how our Boss differs from a donkey?
Archibald, putting his hand on De La Voore's shoulder: With what?
De La Voro, stammering: Nothing...
Archibald: Well, that's it
(De La Voro runs into the bar)
De La Voro, to the bartender: pour it quickly before it starts!
(the bartender pours him, De la Voro drinks)
De La Voro: Come on, pour it even faster before it starts!
(the bartender pours him another drink, De La voro drinks it again)
De La Voro: Come on, pour it even faster, or it'll start!
The bartender: Listen, are you going to pay?
De La Voro: Well, it's fucking starting.

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*3 a.m.*
Archibald, Fuchs: I would kill for you.
Archibald: If you want, ask someone to kill him for you
Fuchs:
Fuchs: Archie, honey, go back to sleep.
Fuchs: One day I called my mom and asked her to give me $5, to which she replied to me so that I could find a job.
Lom: Well, actually she was right.
Fuchs: I was 4 years old.
Archibald: There's a fine line between bravery and stupidity, and I think you've crossed it.
Fuchs: Do you think I'm brave?
Archibald Dandy, about Fuchs: he said yes!
Juliko Bandito: What was the question?
Archibald Dandy: ...Will you marry me?
Juliko Bandito: Wtf, no
Archibald Dandy: Well, we're finally on a date, what would you like to do?
Fuchs: ...
Archibald Dandy: Oh, does the atmosphere seem unfriendly to you? Well, I can put on some music.
Fuchs: ...
Archibald Dandy: So what do you want?
Fuchs: First of all, untie me.

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De La voro: There are three ways to do something: right, wrong, and how Julico would do it.
Archibald Dandy: It seems to me that it is wrong and how Juliko would do it is the same thing.
De La Voro: Yes, but the latter is faster!
Lom: Fuchs, are you crying?
Fuchs: It's okay, I'm just chopping onions.
Lom: ...
Lom: But these are potatoes...
Fuchs: Leave me alone.