Words On Paper

if you were wondering it has been fifteen days since I've cut off the drugs cold turkey fifteen days and it doesn't seem like anything is changing amazing how I could have thought that all my problems could be fixed with a couple of pills downed with a couple of beers and a couple of years have passed in fact, I find myself questioning the day, week, month, year kind of like I've been away for a while kind of like I've been abstained from it all and after calamity there comes the fall where I drift and flip I toss and turn I dip down deep into the pockets of my minds eye and see the black but I can't tell if it's closer or farther from me and honestly what's the difference all of the pain just blurs into submission and sooner or later I become numb a twenty year old bum sort of like a plant touched by anything other than gods green thumb and I know I've made promises I haven't kept and I know it's been a while since you've wept so kid go ahead and weep on me lean on me use me as an adversary of catastrophe and when you're done toss me cause I could never say I wouldn't do the same it's a life of hard knocks living life indistinguishable from your own worst enemy somebody roll the credits, please somebody roll the credits, please

I don't remember The last time I sat In the backseat of a car Staring through the Sun roof But I do remember The feeling And I haven't been able To recreate it Since I don't remember The last cigarette I had Or how the nights Felt occurring All around me But I do remember The taste I don't remember When I stopped crying And I don't remember The feeling I don't remember The feeling I don't remember The feeling

sudden bursts of productivity probably the drugs the doses of chemicals my brain can't or won't produce on its own ... the irony the brutal irony is tiring

And like A bow and arrow You pull me back Pull hard Harder Than you Ever have And I just have To keep praying You will let go And have me soar And land on my target Bullseye But more likely You'll keep pulling Until I break Spiraling Out of control The tension Grows

The death of youth Is looking out a window And pulling Down the Blinds