Untitled

It’s funny. I was talking to a friend earlier and another friend yesterday but coincidently the same topic was brought up, and it was interesting to see how our unique experiences shaped our personal opinions on the same topic. How everyone had a different experience and all felt differently because of that. We were talking about parents who aren’t together but live together for the sake of the children. A friend of mine named Joshua had shared with me how he envies me for the reason that even though my parents weren’t together romantically, they stayed together in the same house so that my brother and I can experience growing up in a house with all of my immediate family members. He shared how before he was born his parents had already decided that they wouldn’t be able to function cordially with each other and that they won’t live together. So he grew up with his mother and saw his father occasionally. He told me how they tried to live together with each other but his father had only came over to his house for dinner twice. Earlier today I was speaking to my friend Lisa on the same subject. Her parents had her when they were 15 year old. She said she wish her parents didn’t live together after they got divorced because she feels she was scarred going through their hard times. Her father was a cheater and she became a sister to other siblings from different mothers. She said the fights and arguments were terrible and she wish they had just separated. Me on the other hand, my parents function quite perfectly together, well at least what they shower to my brother and I; but that’s also why I feel they did it perfectly. But I know they weren’t happy romantically. They have their own rooms but no other romantic mate was allowed in the house nor were they known about by the rest of the family; if there is anyone else. These weren’t rules that were spoken about before, just a mutual respect thing that was just known. The thing is my parents worked so hard to be great parents and sacrificed their happiness so my brother and I can be happy. If I understood what was happening at a younger age I would have realized how they loved us so much and would’ve wished they would’ve lived apart. I would’ve wanted them to be happy outside of making us happy because they deserve it. I appreciate everything they’ve done for us but I wish I could’ve traded it in to allow them to be happy.

I would change the globe to all darkness because soon it'll be destroyed due to nuclear power. 

The “N” word. Discussing if the “N” word could be an acceptable word to use has been very controversial and I’ll like to speak on that. With an attitude like mine no one can insult me but those I love. Anything anyone else does or says to me means nothing; and if I can, I’ll take what they dished at me and try to turn it into a positive thing. Name calling means nothing, well should mean nothing, to anyone but the person doing the name calling. I say that because the person who’s doing the name calling does so by their perception of you. If someone calls me ugly that’s fine; I don’t think I’m ugly. Just because someone calls you something that doesn’t mean that is what you are. With that being said, let me discuss the “N” word. The word nigger comes from “alteration of earlier neger, from Middle French negre, from Spanish or Portuguese negro, from negro black, from Latin niger”, (merriam-webster.com). All of these roots of the word nigger means black/dark, so why are we upset when we are called Nigger? Aren’t we black? Well I’m black. Even if the word was used to be offensive, and degrading to mean low, dirty, uneducated, animal, that’s how others see us; but guess what, if you are an educated, well mannered, kind, dark skinned(negro skinned) human being, they’ll still call you a nigger. But you are dark skinned, but you are colored, but your skin is a rich chocolate color, and taking the word for its meaning, I am a nigger. I may not be a black uneducated nigger like you’d like me to be but I am a black educated nigger. As an example to another point I’ll like to get at, the word jass used back in the day refers to sexual fluids, but the new word jazz was created from jass and is now a word used to speak of a certain style of music. Should we not allow our children to say jazz because it derived from a word with a sexual meaning? Nigger, when used now a days, not as an offensive slur, is usually used as nigga. To me, nigga is used to mean, brotherhood, a friend, a homie, that person. So we as a race do two things with our new word nigga, one, we take the word that was supposed to bring us down and turn it into a word that means my friend, someone that’s been through it all with me, someone who’s been there through the rough times, basically like all of the enslaved, black, African/African-Americans who have been through it all with each other, also when used as just a word to talk about a person, for example, if I say “that nigga just skipped the line”, but not talking about anyone of color just a person, we took the word from meaning a particular kind of person, and integrated it to mean, any kind of person. We are all equal right? So I do not get offended when hear or someone calls me “Nigga” even if it was “Nigger” and used in an offensive way because its ok if you see me as that, I am who and what I am and you cannot change that.

The reason of my first post was to speak on the book, butprimarily on the movie, 50 Shades of Grey. I am currently still reading thebook so I don’t know much specifics about the sex scenes but I have seen the movie and though I do not want to spoil it for those who would like to see the movie but I do want to speak on it. Before I’ve seen the movie I heard of how women activist groups were outraged about the movie and saying how the main character’s romantic interest, Christian Grey, was abusive mentally and physically and how the movie portrayed domestic violence. Once again I’m speaking specifically on the movie and not the book. During the movie, Christian Grey reminds the main character Anastasia Steele, multiple times that he isn’t romantic, he likes being in control, and introduces her to his “play room” which is set up to entertain his passion in BDSM. He writes out a contract which discusses that if she chooses to agree, she would be his submissive and in great detail outlines her role in his games. He even sits down with her to negotiate some of the terms and they switch things in the contract to fit her liking. Throughout the movie she has free will to do as she pleases. Stating and even showing interest throughout the movie that she enjoys being submissive. Even going as far to want to be more than that; falling in love with him as she states. When she realizes he won’t be with her she says she ending their relations and she leaves. One part of the movie she asks to be punished to see what the worse can be, he asks her is she sure, she says yes and he whips her with a belt six times and tell her to count with him. She lies there for all six hits and counts them out as he goes. She had all freedom to get up and move but she didn’t. So on that note I want to leave you guys with a question: When and how was she domestically abused? 

Excuse my post but I would like to speak on the sexual acts of BDSM. BDSM stands for three different subjects of the act: B/D which stands for Bondage and Discipline, D/S which stands for Dominance and Submissive, and S/M which stands for Sadism and Masochism. The B/D aspects causes for restraining, binding, and tying a partner up for sexual acts. D/S is when the partners consent to and acknowledges the fact that one of the two are going to be in control of the other. The one who is in control is called the dominant and the one who takes on the subordinate role is called the submissive. These acts do not have to be physical at all. The dominant doesn’t only have to be a male. The last area of BDSM, S/M is where the pain comes to play. Sadism and Masochism is where torture and the aspects of using pain becomes a “sexual stimulant”, where spanking, dripping wax on the partner, breast torturing, etc. are a part of some of the activities that are entertained. BDSM uses safety words to know when the submissive has had enough and wants the dominant to stop. “Stop” isn’t a good enough word because sometimes the submissive doesn’t actually mean it. BDSM is fully consensual of both partners and is supposed to please both partners.

My "Shitty First Drafts" usually are my only drafts. I often wait til one in the morning to start my writing and I revise and add as I go. My writings are slightly better than decent but I know they would be better if I would have written more than one draft. The idea of writing a free first draft and revising it twice creating three drafts seems interesting but I feel by the time I get to my third draft I will be way off of topic. I feel like I stray so much I will end up somewhere I don't belong. Lamott's thinking process is slow at first when she's trying to find something to write about, but gradually speeds up after she finds something interesting in her first draft. My brain moves so much I try to write about everything I'm thinking of all in one. And to write two more draft? That will be a mess. Until Iearn how to stay on track one draft seems more appealing to me. Everytime I write it's usually because I have to write about something specific so I already know what I'm talking about. I just have to focus on putting my ideas together and having them organized. I think I usually don't pay much attention to writing because of the confusion; I rather do math problems because numbers just work to me. There's no confusion because numbers add up. But beginning to free write may help me get some things off my mind.