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𝓦𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝓛 𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗌   ֹ ⋆

𔘓 ֹ masterlist. 𓂅⁩ ̼ about me.⠀ͯ ͦ ͯ ͦ update system.

⠀ ⠀✶‎ latest: between the lines O3⠀𝄃𝄀 . down low O6

𓆥 dear me collaborative playlist 𓈒𓈒

. networks: The BTS Writers' Club. ♥︎

♡ join my discord server here .

i don't know if anyone remembers me but unfortunately i am alive. physically. mentally i am somewhere between a cigarette butt outside a nightclub and a victorian woman coughing blood into a handkerchief.

the past month has been genuinely insane. i experienced the weirdest love bombing known to mankind and then got broken up with for what appears to be absolutely no fucking reason. to this day i do not know what happened. if anyone figures it out please let me know because i would also love to be informed.

anyways i've been depressed. uni is beating my ass. i've been going out. i've been drinking. maybe a little too much considering i would quite enjoy passing my exams and not ending up living under a bridge.

as for the guy situation. oh my god.

i'm texting his cousin. i'm also in a weird situation with the said cousin because i'm actively helping him get with a girl while simultaneously suspecting that he might lowkey be into me. the problem is that i don't even know if i'm into him. he's literally the devil's cousin after all. what am i supposed to do with that information.

meanwhile i'm in no contact with the devil himself and i am fucking SUFFERING.

when i tell you i genuinely thought i found my soulmate. this man and i finished each other's sentences. we had the same humor. the same brain. the same everything. i listened to a voice note he sent me a few weeks ago yesterday and cried like i had just returned from war.

the cunt has fallen.

i genuinely do not know what is happening to me.

AND HE WAS SO HOT.

god gives his toughest battles to his funniest soldiers.

anyways i don't know if any of you are actually interested in listening to me spiral so let's move on.

writing. fanfics. bts.

due to the absolutely unbelievable circus that has been my life recently i kind of fell off with BTS for a while. however after my ❤️breakup❤️ me and BTS have never been closer. every cloud has a silver lining and apparently mine is seven korean men.

one positive thing about this entire disaster is that it has given me the overwhelming urge to write unhealthy amounts of angst. and fluff. and stories about devastating love. because we were so perfect.

FUCK HIM.

anyways i'm planning to start posting again soon.

as for my ongoing series i genuinely have no idea when the next chapters are coming. i stopped writing them while i was in a really weird place mentally and now i feel kind of disconnected from them. but i WILL finish them.

i WILL.

this is not a threat. this is a promise.

for now i'm thinking about posting some oneshots because i'm actually inspired again. thanks to the devil and unfortunately thanks to his cousin too.

anyways yeah.

yell at me.

curse at me.

throw tomatoes at me.

i don't care.

i know i’ve been absent for a while, and i wanted to talk about it honestly. while i was busy moving for some time and have now settled into dorm life, the real reason is that i’m currently dealing with a pretty intense writer’s block. i struggle to find motivation, and even when i open a doc, i end up staring at it for hours and writing things i don’t feel good about.

i’ve come to realize that i might just need time. admitting that hasn’t been easy, mostly because i know it can be disappointing to others, and to myself. writing is something i crave deeply, yet lately it’s also something i’ve been dreading and that contradiction has been confusing and frustrating to sit with.

this isn’t a departure. i’m not leaving, and i will write. just at my own pace. i don’t know when i’ll post again, but i will. i need time to feel confident in myself and my writing before sharing it with you.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU MY FAVORITE HUMAN EVER i am literally so so so grateful we met like hello?? universe ate with that one. YOU are insanely talented and cool and i feel lucky as hell to call you my friend so stop before i combust

also yes i am in fact drowning in exams like a victorian child but your ask just cured me instantly. ILY SM and i hope this year treats you like royalty and gives you everything you deserve AND MORE

happy new year. may 2026 treat you with health, happiness, money, success, love, and whatever else the universe has been gatekeeping from you. apologies for being a little mia the past few days — i wasn’t home for new year’s, which means i wasn’t on tumblr, which means i was living a life i will not be elaborating on.

your girl has been drunk for approximately three business days in a row and is currently in recovery mode, staring at the ceiling and reevaluating her choices. character development or whatever.

“I’m not scared,” you say, teeth clenched. “I just don’t race beginners.”

“A beginner?” he repeats, genuinely offended now. He scoffs, lifting his board slightly. “I’ve been riding this thing since before you figured out how not to poop your diapers.”

You let out a short, incredulous laugh. “Please. I was on skis before you got your first real tooth.”

Jungkook tilts his head, eyes flicking over your face with open challenge. “Then prove it, Miss.”

You hesitate.

Logically, this is stupid. You know you’re better than him. You don’t need to prove anything, especially not to some cocky, new money snowboarder with too much confidence and a mouth that runs faster than his judgment.

But then you imagine it. His grin dropping. His jaw tightening. The way his hands would curl into fists when he realizes he’s lost.

Something greedy twists low in your stomach.

Not attraction. Not exactly.

not for christmas tho ❤️ because my life said plot twist. i will post it before new years, pinky promise, but i still have exams and my brain is currently held together by caffeine and vibes.

also IMPORTANT LORE: it’s not even christmas in my country. we do that on january 7th. so while you’re festive and jolly i’m fighting for my life with textbooks.

at least is there gonna be a realisation of him that he is in love with her 😋😋 I think you write so beautifully and that would be so gooddd

okay but listen, i can’t confirm a full-on “oh my god i’m in love with her” rom-com style realization… however there will be a realization. just not the cute, neatly packaged kind you’re imagining.

it’s more like… an uncomfortable awareness. a “something is very wrong and i did this to myself” moment. emotions catching up, guilt settling in, feelings becoming impossible to ignore even if he doesn’t know what to call them or what to do with them. less love confession, more emotional reckoning.

I AM BALKAN, JUMPSCARE: i’m serbian.

NO BECAUSE... how did you even expect a happy-together ending from down low of all things… anonie be serious with me for one second.

like i’m not gonna kill anyone off, i’m not a monster (usually), but… they’re cheaters. plural. actively. enthusiastically. this is not a romcom, this is a “realistic consequences of bad decisions” simulator. in what universe do they ride into the sunset holding hands. 😭

my fics are rooted in realism. and realistically? i cannot in good conscience look at two people making objectively terrible choices and go “yes, marriage and a golden retriever.” absolutely not. this is mess, guilt, implosion, therapy bills.

i’m gonna need to put you on timeout for even hoping for that 🪑🫵 sit there and think about what down low actually is. i love you but pls… adjust expectations accordingly.

heyyy 😭 first of all… chef kiss babes just altered my brain chemistry, thank you for that. i’m so so glad you’re enjoying coming down, that genuinely means everything to me 🫶

now for full honesty before i lie for fun: i don’t actually have the next chapter written yet. the fic is kind of on hiatus right now while i figure some things out, and i’ve been thinking about moving it to ao3 too. so sadly no sneak peek at the moment because my brain is empty and gojo is refusing to cooperate.

heyyy 🥹 this is so sweet, thank you so much. i’m genuinely so happy you’re enjoying dear me, it means the world to me that you’re waiting for the next chapter. 😭

hiii 😭 i love you BAD actually. like mutual-love, ride-or-die, “i’d defend you in the court of law” love.