Patrolled

I called your name when you walked away

To my surprise

You turned back to my call

That’s when I knew

I have a friend who hasn’t had the best of luck in relationships. Long story short both women took his heart and buried it. 

I’ve had my share of heartache and I can empathize with my friend and say that that shit’s for the birds. 

Nevertheless, I’m still a sucker for love. I wish I wasn’t. Believe me I’ve tried. But rather than grow ridiculous and deem every man on Earth to be just like the men that broke my heart, I hold onto hope and faith that this lifetime I may find love again.

As for my friend he unfortunately hasn’t mastered what I call the life’s balancing act. 

On one end you have rejection and on the other acceptance. What makes things hard to deal with or difficult to get pass is the balance between these two things:

A. accept you, it, he/she, life for what it is 

B. reject you, it, he/she, life for what it is

and move on. 

Although I find that acceptance makes the walk a lot more enjoyable then rejection, I’m not one to say ying is better than yang or vice versa. 

Rather, in both cases you without a doubt will learn something very valuable. 

Hope. 

For my friend he’s made it up in his mind that “Americanized Women” (women who were born and raised in America) are all terrible and he’s better off finding love overseas in Africa.

Now, being a first generation Haitian woman I see his point. Culturally, when it comes to values and principles, there’s a significant difference between people raised in continents like Asia or Africa compared to those raised in here in the states. 

But as a women born here in the states I can’t help but be insulted by this. 

Whether you look high or low, heart ache exists all over the world. It isn’t our mission in life to deem which groups are the better lovers. 

Simply when heartache comes YOU and only YOU alone are given the task to learn from your experience and move forward with hope. 

You could choose to move along with acceptance, which could be you accepting that maybe you shouldn’t have ignored the red flags. Or, move forward with rejection, which here could mean you rejecting that you were to blame for the relationship going sour. If you’re lucky, you may be able to use both. 

Either way, the goal is to move forward with hope. 

Hope that you will love again. And hope that you could be a better teacher and student of love. 

My friend’s hurt. So much so he’s giving up on American Women. 

I can only hope that one day he’ll make a decision and move forward rather than sit still and grow bitter. 

I’ve come to learn that it was small pockets of pain and bitterness that created universal truths in my heart that weren’t true. 

Pockets. Not moving. Just there. 

Ima hustle my way back to my 9 to 5

To my

9 to 5

I’m a hustle my way back to my 9 to 5

To my

9 to 5

To my

Job security

comfort

convenience

Job security

comfort

convenience

Fear!

The reality that’s keeping me here

Chained to that chair desk desktop computer

30 minute lunches 15 minute smoke breaks convince me

You!

Can!

Endure!

Just give them a bit more

More mindless

I mean strong work ethic

More pointless

I mean important team meetings

More micromanagy

I mean vital manager employee memos

Endure going to a job I hate

Endure the harsh reality that this job is what determines my fate

Sick days holidays vacation

41k health insurance

Benefits or perks to a life sentence

My dedication to their mission

Determines how I can maintain

Maintain being human

Fear!

Or my lack in faith in believing in who God created me to be

A creator of my own dreams

Not a cop out

Mr. Goldie “It doesn’t matter to me if you stay or leave.”

“There’s tons like you.”

“Foolishly believing that with a quick creative mind, high energy, and drive you’ll automatically get a job.”

“We’ve failed. We’ve groomed you the wrong way. You speak. You talk back. That was an error on our part. ”

“Thankfully we are currently working with the generation against…”

“I mean behind you.”

“We’re working to distract you while we work with the generation behind you.”

“You see although an error on our part, your talking back is such a great distraction. We’ve gotten you to talk so much that that’s who you are. ”

“That’s who you become.”

“A bunch of nigs…I mean people talking. No action. Just talking. ”

“So carry on, keep talking.”