text posts *

Having a girlfriend would motivate me to work harder, so I can give her all of my money.

I want to write a deranged, morally bankrupt piece of fiction. A document I literally take my frustrations and insecurities out on.

when you walk into a room and see an immensely beautiful woman, and suddenly, though she’s a stranger you didn’t know existed seconds ago, she is the highlight of your day and will continue to be for days, weeks, months later when she inevitably crosses your mind again (and again).

coming back to this blog might’ve been a mistake considering i haven’t felt anything in a long time. reading about the times i felt passion in all its wonderful and dangerous ways may reawaken urges i can’t facilitate in the life i have now.

Now that I have a big girl job, my goal in life is to work my way up to a management position where I sit at a desk 80% of the time, wear super cute business attire (w/ heels), and run a meeting every once in a while.

my first time kissing a girl was terrible. my first time having sex with a girl was terrible. both of them pressured me into it and i did it to shut them up.

amazing how you can turn into something/someone you said you never would. that’s why i now say ‘never say never’.

back on this account after 2 years. looking through my drafts is kinda wild.

16:53

19:34

just remembered the time a guy friend of mine paid one of my bills for me. when i told him i felt like i owed him, he said i didn’t owe him anything. he said i have the learn to let people do things for me without feeling like i have to do something back in return.

i got the nicest email earlier this month on a story i posted almost 3 years ago. made me realize i really does this writing thing. also gave me soooo much motivation to start posting again.

it’s amazing how much writing i get done at work while pretending to work.

i hate that when i start losing weight, it comes out of my breasts first. why can’t i be thin and still have these ddds?

dating women has made me throw gender roles out the window. i will unashamedly ask a man on a date, pick him up, and pay for it if the vibe is right.

been talking to this guy on a dating app for almost a week. our schedules are so opposite that we keep trying to plan to get together, but it seems impossible. anyways, i’ve wanted him to beat me into a mattress since the first time i saw him. everyday this urge and frustration grows. 💦