Do you remember when we first met? I thought I had wandered into a dream.
x

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One Nice Bug Per Day
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hello vonnie
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@write-nerdy-to-me
Do you remember when we first met? I thought I had wandered into a dream.
x

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It's not our sun
study of that bit in phm where grace gets his face smashed in
Ultimate Priority: Earth
CARL,, i have to draw you

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Sadie
Yap sesh getting cafeteria coffee on the ship I liked the close ups too YIPPEEE
how else was he supposed to drink it?
Trying to figure out what thing in my house would be most appealing to a medieval peasant. I’ve decided that it might just be my dad’s KitchenAid mixer.
being a writer is fun

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The particular quality that makes Supernatural so unprecedented as queer media is specifically that they DID allow the characters to grow and change past what their initial plan for them was. That's why Cas's confession matters so goddamn much. We've had queer media before, of course, but not like this. Not the way Supernatural did it.
A lot of times, shows get called queerbait incorrectly, specifically because the audience sees potential, and they COULD take it there, but the showmakers don't take it there because that was never the plan. This includes things like BBC Sherlock and the MCU. Without the active choice to make Destiel a viable canon, this is where Supernatural would fit. Not going along with a popular ship that wasn't planned to exist in the first place is not queerbait.
Actual queerbait happens when the showmakers never intend it but act like they are gonna, promote the story as such, and then actively choose not follow through. This is where I'd put things like What We Do in the Shadows. It's a promotional stunt, done to attract viewers via the Will-They-Won't-They, knowing full well that They Won't.
Both the queerbait and not-quite-queerbait things often have an extra salt rubbed in the wound by slapping a big giant helping of Excessively Het Stuff on top at the end, juuuust to make sure we get the message that This Is Not For You. This is where you get things like Steve Rogers going back in time to marry Peggy thereby destroying 10 years & multiple movies & shows worth of character development and other character relationships. Compulsory Het additions are used just to really emphasize that yeah, they're SUPER FUCKIN STRAIGHT and SOULMATES.
As a narrative example, in the case of queerbait, excessively het endings are like that high school prank trope, where someone pretends they're gonna take the loser to prom, then shows up with their Real Date to throw eggs at them on the porch on prom night. In the case of not-quite-queerbait, the excessively het ending is where you have that popular kid that's always nice to the loser, that the loser has a crush on, but is still gonna date the other popular kid, not out of spite, but simply because they weren't interested in the first place.
But we do have a realm of Queer media that plans to be queer and follows through, like Heated Rivalry, Our Flag Means Death, Sense8, assorted movies. But there's a different flavor to media like this. It starts out and carries through as openly queer. It celebrates queerness. But often, because it is so openly queer, these get boxed in as "Queer Show" to the exclusion of all else. It's advertising focuses on that it's queer. The narratives often revolve around what it means to be queer. Narrative elements that aren't Being Queer are, very often, just a backdrop. The stories are incredibly conscious and aware of their queerness, of their queer audience. They deal with themes around identity, the closet, sexuality, family dysfunction, societal expectations, religious and authoritarian pressure, fear of rejection, grief, romance, safety, isolation — things that are deemed "the Queer experience". And these are absolutely fair themes to apply; there's a reason those resonate.
Now. Supernatural.
Supernatural didn't set out to directly be queer media. It has always held elements of it, yes, and I will argue for that forever. But it's intended audience was not out and proud queer people the way that Queer Media (tm) was. It talks about several similar themes — patriarchal pressures, grief, family dysfunction, the conflict between sacrifice for the community vs. choosing what is right for yourself. It's one of the reasons why other queer themes like the closet slot in so easily. But the characters were not intended to be out and proud and open. Often when queer media features a character in the closet, the narrative is about them coming out. It deals with their interiority around their sexuality — guilt, shame, passion, fear. At some point, they're always intended to Come Out.
Supernatural handles the closet differently. A queer reading of Supernatural deals with a character that has no intention of ever coming out. For whom the closet is still more safe than it is a trap. And, importantly, there are other concerns than if it's safe to be openly queer. Being openly queer, after all, is about fulfillment and self-actualization. But Supernatural is a war story. It's narrative revolves around survival, around sacrifice, around saving the world. And so it's themes treat self-actualization as a distant dream. Often an unachievable one. Maybe one day, when the Mission is complete, we can stop. We can have a home and love and a life. ...but the Mission will never be over, will it? That life just isn't for us, I guess.
And then there's Cas. Cas, who comes from this hyper religious background, who undergoes religious indoctrination and re-education, who is given conversion therapy to literally kill the person that he loves. His love, in the eyes of heaven, is illicit, forbidden, in every sense. Cas who chooses to escape his cult for a beautiful boy that believes in him. Who gives up everything for Dean, always drawn to him specifically, protecting him, supporting him, sacrificing for him. Cas, who misses and loves his family in spite of their rejection and abuse, who keeps fighting and begging for them to see him, to give up their prejudices and see the beauty that he sees, to be free of the prison they have made for themselves.
And Dean, for whom family is everything. Dean who is willing to sacrifice everything if it means protecting innocents. Dean who craves comfort and safety for himself, but moreover, someone that he can feel safe to drop the mask around. And then he meets Cas, who becomes his best friend. Who sees his vulnerabilities and weaknesses and doesn't judge him for them, who accepts him - all of him. Who also is willing to do the hard thing, to make the big sacrifices, to protect the innocent. Cas who is funny, and steadfast, and strong, and kind but also kind of a bitch, who loves humanity as much as Dean does.
They make each other want to be better. They challenge each other. They accept each other and support each other, even when they fail. They help each other up, dust them off, and say let's try again. We'll do better this time. They fight the good fight, but they also protect each other's right to rest, to have things for themselves for once.
Is it any wonder that the audience looked at this and said oh. Obviously they're in love.
But they didn't start out that way. Cas wasn't supposed to be there. He was meant to die three episodes in. A minor throwaway character, there to serve a quick purpose, and be discarded.
But the energy just felt... interesting. Lightning in a bottle, they called it. The way Cas and Dean clicked onscreen, the way they reacted to each other. And so the showrunners reworked the plan. And they kept reworking it. And kept reworking it. Every season, every new showrunner, every new writer, adding on. Misha and Jensen, adding their spin.
It wasn't planned. Not initially. But it worked, and it made the story better, made it more interesting. Cas & Dean's dynamic was interesting, and it made each of their characters as individuals better. Offered complexity and complication and subtlety.
It would have been so, so easy for them to leave it at that. No one would have been surprised if they left it at that. I'm sure many would have cried queerbait — they already were. And others would have been very smug and triumphant with yet another win over the gays, I'm sure. Because fuck us and our exhausting wish to feel seen and accepted, right?
But they didn't. They chose to go there. Cas confessed, and it was explicitly romantic, explicitly and openly queer. and it mattered. It mattered SO MUCH because it wasn't originally planned. Because the writers and showrunners of Supernatural, for all their flaws, were willing to follow through on an element of the story that developed over time, instead of chickening out, or forcing it to fit a heteronormative mold. They let the characters develop and change and grow according to what clicked in the narrative, according to what made the story more interesting. One of Supernatural's strengths is that, in spite of it's formulaic plot structuring, in spite of all the negative influences against it, they managed to coax out characters that feel True and Real. Not always, and sometimes they have setbacks, but when they nail it, it's because they let the characters develop instead of fighting it. Cas's confession was so, so earned. Taking something that had been implicit, that had underlaid the entire show if you knew what to look for, and bringing it into the open where everyone can see it. And that was something they excelled with from the start with Cas — they saw character & story potential and they used it.
The love is explicit. It is canon. The queerness is there, openly, verbally, on screen. It's there, and it's ours, and it is true. And it validates everything that Destiel fans had been seeing and arguing for for years.
And to me, one of the most important things about this is that it was a struggle. This wasn't like most openly queer media, where you can come into it comfortable that the queer love would be there. This is a show where queer readings have had to fight tooth and nail to be taken seriously. And we were fucking right.
anti-doomerism has actually improved the way I handle my depression. I’ll think something like “I have nothing to look forward to, everything is getting worse and it’s not getting better” and then I’ll be like “whoa, cringelord. you sound like an emo 14 year old. you’re not helping anyone or anything with that misanthropic hopeless attitude. grow the fuck up.” and I bully myself back into participating in life, because depression and the associated dark thoughts are so cringe
Julia Stiles as Kat Stratford 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) | dir. Gil Junger
I do think you lose your right to medical privacy when you decide to become a politician and it is mad fucked up that these people hold our lives in their hands and are allowed to disappear for months on end with no explanation. You need a doctor’s note to miss school for a cold but we have no clue if Mitch McConnell is dead or alive and Tom Kean was allowed to fuck off for 4 months without telling the public why. I don’t give a fuck about your privacy, you’re not protecting my privacy, if you’re leeching tax dollars and partying it up in a rich person rehab resort somewhere while your constituents vote against our access to healthcare, we should be allowed to know. Fuck you. I say this as a disabled person, I’m always having to explain the nature of my disability and the details of my health but we’re not allowed to know what the fuck is going on with these people.
One of the schools I photographed had a boy on the volleyball team because there wasn't enough interest in having a boys volleyball team. They made an exclusion for him to be on the girls team.
So when I hear people saying stuff about trans athletes and phrasing it as 'boys should not play in girls sports,' im actually thinking about that kid.
"So trans girls should join a co-ed team."
No.
The boy was not in a co-ed team. He was a boy on a girl's team. The team did not become co-ed. It became a girls team dith one boy on it. This sets precedent for trans girls to join girls teams with no change.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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looking at pictures of rare animals not native to the region you live in really reminds you the world is vast and cool and there is a lot to love
[ Part II of the postcard-sized prints! :) ]
A lil addendum to the previous post, themed upon fantasy studies I made based on Caspar David Freidrich's paintings; these are ink studies based on his sketches and watercolors. So they're a little more simple, but were cozy to do...
The original sketches he made if you're interested: