DESTINY'S FATE

- stop staying up so l8!!

- skincare routine daily 

- shower daily 

- remember to moisturize!!

- dont eat junk!!

- dont drink soda!! yuck

- drink a LOT of water 

- take multivitamin 

- set goals 

skincare routine

morning 

- wash face off with makeup wipe and water 

- tone 

- moisturize 

night 

- take off makeup with wipes

- exfoliateee

- wash face with x out 

- mask

- tone 

- serum 

- moisturizer 

masks 

- store bought mud mask

- sheet mask

- banana and honey

- cucumber and aloe

- vitamin e and avacado

shower routine  

- wash hair 

- condition 

- exfoliate face 

- exfoliate body 

- body wash 

- wash face 

bath routine

- bubbles 

- everything ya do in a shower but like deeep clean

- face mask 

- chilllll 

- light a candle 

- play chill playlist 

workout routine

- stretch 10 minutes

- yoga session  

- 20 squats

- 45 jumping jacks

- 30 crunches

- 25 sec plank 

- 10 fire hydrants each side

- 10 leg lifts each side 

- 15 ab bridges

grocery list/food to eat 

- eggs 

- fish 

- spinach 

- avocado 

- chicken 

- strawberries 

- blueberries 

- bananas 

- cantalope 

- whole wheat bread 

- almond butter 

- healthy microwave dinners 

- mixed nuts 

- cucumber

- tomato 

- baby spinach 

- carrots 

- potatoes 

- broccoli 

- canned squash

- canned beans 

- chia seeds

- waters 

- green tea 

- honey 

- apple cider vinegar 

- cranberry juice 

- grape juice

- aloe vera juice  

nothing was planned, 

completely unexpected.

we both had hopes of what came.

I knew I’d find someway to you. 

I’m a disease. 

painful 

reckless

blood

guts

gore 

I want my nails sharp red. 

I want you to be afraid of my hands. 

warning 

memorable

dangerous

I want to leave my mark on you. 

ruthless

I want my lips painted red.

When you kiss them they’ll leave stains on you. 

I want to be a gun. 

I am so much more than sin.

A harlot still has so much power over the fool that falls into her trap. 

Call me what you want.

There’s a power in a pretty woman. 

when your hand met my skin i felt alive. 

i felt safe,

wanted,

protected,

how do you do things so perfectly?

i melted when you pulled me closer to you.

id been waiting for something like this for so long.

you held me close.

we didnt care about anything.

maybe it meant nothing.

hopefully youll do it again sometime. 

we kept each other from falling.

the looks we exchanged were to die for.

your eyes are so powerful.

did you feel what i felt.

i have a feeling we were playing with fire.

there was so many people. 

screaming, happy, drunk,

you stood with me,

there wasnt much space,

neither of us minded.

you were fine with being pushed up against me.

i didnt mind it either.

i could tell in the way we looked into each others eyes,

the clashing and pain didnt matter.

i loved it all.

we held onto each other.

the hundreds of people moved like waves,

movements were uncontrollable. 

what i used to believe in.

i feel like me when im with you.

somehow i found myself in the sun,

by your side. 

i spent so much time getting all this together for you. 

you were a stranger.

why did i show so much kindness to someone i dont even know?

there was so much i wanted to say,

so much i didnt know.

id look at you in a way ive never had the chance to do with anyone.

the sunlight was in my eyes, 

you blocked it out for me, 

but you shined just as bright. 

why are you so easy to fall for?

how come i know your playing games,

whys it fair that i know youre just being kind?

ive always hated eye contact,

but with you something was different. 

i couldnt get enough of your eyes. 

ive been craving them ever since you left. 

your eyes are such a perfect color.

let me make paintings with them in mind, 

let me stare at them for ages.

ill love you till you cant stand me anymore.

just give me the time, 

ive never experienced something so perfect.

ive been thinking everynight, 

to the same stupid soundtracks,

all about you and the time we shared. 

now i dont know if any of this is real.

i dont know if youre just this way, 

if it all meant nothing. 

but to me you seem to be something special, 

you click in a way ive never felt before.

one day youre the most important thing in the world 

next day youre just a memory

people change their minds so fast 

unless youre someone they cant have

or someone they think they “need”

youre nothing

youre just another person

no matter what you say

i love you 

i care about you 

i want the good for you 

in such a pure and selfless manner

they will forget you 

i tried to be your friend 

i gave you everything i could 

but i was just something that could go somewhere

“maybe i could date this one”

i wish people saw me for more than just something to love them 

i wish someone could selflessly love me 

the way i do you. 

im fine with watching you from a far

as long as every time you need someone you call my name 

im fine with waiting 

as long as you always come back 

even in the smallest ways

just a glance my way 

i will be yours forever 

i wawnna run away from everything ive every known 

i dont feel the same anymore

i wore my clothes dark so id blend in with everyones shadows 

i wore my clothes baggy so they couldnt see me as prey 

i covered my face with cheap makeup to hide what i hated

i wore my sleeves long so no one would care

i wore my boots to be like the girls i envied on tumblr

i wore band tees in hope of someone recognizing them 

i dressed in a form of ammunition 

i didnt wear shirts i wore armor 

oh how stressful it seemed to protect myself 

the darker the clothes the more concerned they got 

oh how strange this one is 

is she a boy or a girl?

at one point in time 

i cut my hair as short as theyd allow in order to feel like myself 

i dyed my hair with temporary dye to feel like those cool kids 

i begged to actually dye my hair 

i finally dyed my hair 

and didnt stop 

i found an identity within the way i could affect people with the color of my hair

or the length 

i kept on cutting it and changing 

almost like a stab at everyone whod ever complemented my hair

or the ones who said 

oh why wont you be like the pretty girls 

why wont you brush your beautiful hair 

oh it is so long and blonde you dont ever dye it you hear me? 

i am not measured by the length and color of my hair 

i challenged everyone when i would change

the changes were so sudden they couldnt keep up 

howd they like it 

no one likes when things are uncontrollable 

and within these changes i made i found the one thing i could control completely 

myself 

they hated they couldnt do anything about it too 

it was the best feeling when i cut it all off 

you look like a boy 

but you were so pretty

are you lesbian?

do you identify as a guy? 

thank you all for the concern 

thank you for noticing my hair cut 

one of the guys in my class came in with a shorter cut one day 

i looked at him and asked 

why would you cut your hair? 

you were so pretty before 

i found myself once i took away everything they wanted me to be on the outside

it was liberating 

my insecurities became my weapons 

im no longer trying to hide

my dark clothes are no longer shadows 

ive become bold and mysterious

a rebel with a cause

daddy issues

goth 

that girl with all the problems

when i dropped out of school i wonder if anyone missed how much i contrasted against everyone else

i saw girls begin to copy the things id do

im not original 

im not the first person to inspire by being different

everyone whod walked before feeling the way i did was there with me 

a piece of them could never escape the walls of that school 

no one ever really leaves it ya know 

when you wake up every day disoriented by the idea of those horrid white walls 

all those eyes that saw your every move 

every mistake you made was public

those walls had so much power over the kids 

every flaw seemed to be highlighted by the sunlight coming through 

no one was quite sure of who anyone actually was

we chose to be prey but also predators 

no one was safe 

the smallest opinion of another changed everything you were 

ones statement could change the way the entirety of people looked at you

you never want to wake up