oh, the hazards of love!

you’re jerking off and suddenly my leitmotif starts playing

MICHAEL MYERS WAS 21?????????????

he should’ve been at the clubbbbbb……..

hiii i had surprise medical bills because i need to get my wisdom teeth removed because they’re fucking my whole head up … any support you can give on paypal or kofi would be greatly appreciated!!!

do you even know how much work goes in to keeping this basement appropriately creepy and disgusting? thats not rust on those pipes, i painted that. i cant have rusty pipes. i use those to shower. those are actually fancy rats, too, the wild ones are too good at hiding. and frankly good handcuffs are wayyy more expensive than the pink fuzzy kind. the filing cabinet is real, though. dont go in there. i need those paystubs to do taxes.

these days you cant even relate to morrissey because he was looking for a job and then he actually found one

people like "i was born too late" are daft tbh. i was born at just the right time. there's recorded music, electric guitar, HRT, and motorbikes. i also like alcohol but we've had that one nailed for at least 10,000 years.

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.