Would You Like If I..Started Following You?

Aries: *scrolls through memes on instagram* you will beg on your feet when i destroy the world one day smh *forgets the fight and hugs you 2 mins afterwards*

Taurus: Give me a coffee or I will write a novel and insult you all in it because im too nice to say it in your face

Gemini: *smiles evily and plots your death in spanish* yes Karen I love you haha :)

Cancer: *sighs* what can i do when i love them

Leo: *screams while crying* I WAS THE BEST AND YOU WILL YEARN FOR ME ONE DAY BUT I WoNT BE HERE

Virgo: *puts glasses on and invites you for tea* Sit down, we need to have a deep, thorough conversation and analyze all the possible aspects of the spheres of our conflict, therefore solving it properly, without further misconceptions on that particular topic.

Libra: Ya'll don't deserve me smh but ur all my friends and i wont do anything bad bc i love u

Scorpio: *sobs up* I just wanted to be supportive but y'all dont know when to stop

Sagittarius: *kills everyone in their way with their laser-beam eyes*

Capricorn: Oh look, Im sad, therefore im gonna turn off my phone, stay at home for 3 millenias and play trashy video games

Aquarius: *finds new friends and doesnt even give a shit about their old friends*

Pisces: I just need to get laid, otherwise I promise there will be casualties

homosexual: sexually attracted to homer simpson

pansexual: gets off to various kitchen utensils

asexual: gets turned on by the first letter of the latin alphabet

demisexual: sexually attracted to you if and only if your blood is half divine

bisexual: can only have sex with two people ever. choose wisely

brain: ruin it

me: why