Lovers seem to like my world but they never stay.
I donāt think Iāll
Ever understand how your smile
Could be so sweet
When you kept your soul in the stock room
And I gotta ask about it, because i saw it advertised outside
But I canāt find anything Iāve shown up for in here.
The yellow I collected on the hiking trail that day
Was probably more for me
And proof of how I felt;
That I wasnāt quite crazy,
I was just a stricken bowerbird
Hoping to make you smile with each little gift of color. Itās all I knew, it was the fastest way I thought I could reach you
When sounds were too slow
And comprehension decades away.
When you are in pain,
Why do you disappear?
I thought that , at least, when there is pain
Itās maybe a little bit better to be next to
-breathing the same air as-
the other person
So at least you know with each breath
you arenāt the only one metabolizing this hell.
I am so sorry if I ever brought you there. I just didnāt want to be alone.
Please. someday, I hope you can tell me
Which other dimension you were in
That glitched into mine
And made me think we could have been
In the same love
I had a dream once where all hospital patients awaiting different types of surgery were in the same open, long fluorescent lit room, and thereās only one surgeon. And according to the bureaucracy there,
You just have to wait your turn.
Of course, you never know when.
Each person floating in their own little vat of fluids, hooked up to all the monitors
Moaning, screaming, praying, disassociating. Torturously awaiting their healing. Playing tug of war with pain
Hoping to gain more time, which comes with more chance to be treated and relieved.
Iām in my vat feeling like I never was anyone at all. Why are they keeping us alive if they donāt care about our suffering?
And thatās the whole existence there. The wakefulness, uncertainty, the waiting, and the unbearable pain. Youāre just always incomplete, waiting for the pain to end in an apathetic production line.
Love, please donāt go when things get hard.
Yes itās still hard but we are going to want to do it
Together
The way you carried me across the creek piggyback.
When we went back, you seemed in a rush
And I looked at the western dusk on the darkening water and somehow onew, with a twinge of sweetness
That you were already gone

















