Workers of Faith

This semester has been really tough on me. There are times that I just wanted to run away and wallow in my pain and anxiety. It seemed like getting out pain, and stepping into God's healing was out of my reach. I couldn't believe that God would heal the pain that I've gone through. All I could believe was that He loves me. 

In the midst of the dark lies that surrounded me this semester,  knowing God's love for me shined even brighter against the darkness. This one truth began to minister into me light and truth. With every small tiny "yes" I said to Him, his cliche became real to me this semester. 

It was hard to understand, to what extent will God's love for me be faithful but it was even harder to feel like I was alone in my pain. It was extremely easy for me to hide from my community in this pain and it was even easier to not tell anyone that I was hurting. Risking vulnerability and humbling myself to ask for help was one of the most freeing moments of this semester. The lies in my head regarding my healing were no longer tormenting me. They withered to dust because of the extension of love I received from my sisters.

4/23/14 - Bible Study: James 5

Last week I found out that a guy, lets call him Ken, in my comp sci class used to go to church after a conversation about coding. In fact, Ken used to have Bible studies with his best friend who took him to church every week. They would go through passages together and sometimes it would even make sense to him. Ken told me how he wanted God to be tangible. He said, "I could never hold God's hand or feel him hug me. Some times I just feel like He's just a story." 

My heart yearned to tell him that God's heart was pursuing Ken with more acceleration now than ever, but I realized it was my place to just listen. This guy had so much to say about God, so many questions. Ken was/is hungry for God. I hated that I needed to leave the computer lab but one thing he said that stuck with me was, "You know, Diana. I don't believe in God, but I still pray. That has to mean something, right?"

Right. His comment made me realize he was deeply thirsty and hungry for what God used to fill him with. I slowly put the pieces together: ever since his relationship with his friend died, so did his relationship with God. . . or so he thought. He still prays. He still talks to God. I couldn't believe Ken WAS PRAYING! Thank you, Jesus. I was humbly amazed by his honesty with me. I don't think anyone has been so real to me about coming to faith or where they are in their faith for a long time. It was refreshing that Ken could tell me that he wasn't too sure about who God is but Ken knew God was listening. 

I was deeply disappointed I couldn't stay, I left the lab when all I could think was "one more for Jesus!" Our one conversation had me in a loop for the entire week. I kept replaying it in my head over and over. Which resulted in me praising God over and over. Then the inevitable questions that followed were, "When could we talk about God again?" Well, I didn't have to think about it for too long, because today we talked again. 

While I was working in the computer lab, Ken decides to throw a wad of paper at me to get my attention then immediately asks, "Did I hit you?" I turned around, threw the paper back at him and relied, "no" with a smile. After some small talk, I asked him to watch my stuff. He then replies, "Since I am your brother in Christ, and you are my sister. Of course, I will watch your stuff." WHAT? LAST WEEK YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE IN GOD AND NOW YOU'RE MY BROTHER IN CHRIST? HALLELUJAH! I couldn't believe it and I was almost stunted from leaving the room. His Christian vocabulary blew my mind. He was speaking Christianese all over the place. Somewhere in the conversation he said that he feels like a bad christian because of the things he has done. I cannot imagine the heavy conviction on his heart and how it must also be anchored by the religious spirit. All I want to tell him is that he is not bad. Nothing about Ken is bad. There are some places in his life that may need work but Kan is not bad. It broke my heart to hear that Ken believes he is bad.

In preparation of our last Bible Study next week, we have created a 7 day challenge starting today. It's pretty simple, but the hope is that we would be able to reflect on what we have been studying in James this semester, and be a people that can live out our faith through what we have been learning.

7 Day Challenge

DAY 1: Read James 1:1-18 CHALLENGE: Be Thankful! God has given you so many good gifts, including the gift of community. As we enter into finals remember to be thankful for the opportunities that you have, and the people that support you. Think of someone in your life that has been a blessing to you, and give them a call/text/email to show how much you appreciate them.

DAY 2: Read James 1:19-27 CHALLENGE: Write positive affirmations to yourself on sticky notes and stick them around your mirror as a reminder of who you already are.

DAY 3: Read James 2:1-13 CHALLENGE: Take time to remember the 21 days project *Think about ways that you have been unwise in the way you spend your finances/ rely on temporary things rather than trusting in God with being your provider.

DAY 4: Read James 2:14-26 CHALLENGE: Do a Random act of Kindness. Write a thank you card, buy a coffee for someone, bring flowers to a friend…etc

DAY 5: Read James 3:1-12 CHALLENGE: Today keep a mental note of every word that comes out of your mouth? Is it kind, loving, necessary? If your tongue causing destruction to others to yourself? Apologize to those you may have hurt.

DAY 6: Read James 4:1-17 CHALLENGE: Make a prayer list & write everything that comes to mind. This list will only be for your eyes, list areas in your life that needs attention, and the people around you that need prayer.

DAY 7: Read James 5:1-12 CHALLENGE: Take at least 15 minutes out of your day to meditate & pray. Look over your prayer list from the day before, and as time goes on, begin to pray for 2-3 things on that list.

This is why I need to work out my faith.  I'm too selfish. I feel like I give a lot, but i give in a way that is safe for me to keep my comfortable life.  Jesus teach me how to be a living testimony, teach me how to bring your kingdom where ever i may go. Teach me how to invest in a love economy instead of a capitalist economy. teach me how to love sacrificially, because I know that I am already blessed with all that i need.  Even though this movie was a prank, it has a valuable lesson, and made me really think about what we are doing with our 21 Days.

This reminded me of what we’re doing together. Sharing and taking care of each other’s needs is the hope for these 21 days. Context: this is right after Pentecost after the Holy Spirit filled 3000+ people. (:

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

but, He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong. 

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