okay so i have this problem with being queer is that i don't come across as queer at all. like i look like a cishet man and i'm also not white which makes it even worse... (not to mention the autism)
bc i'm too weird to be around ""normal"" people and don't signal enough for the people i wanna spend time around ?? like i feel like i actually come across as creepy to women despite having 0 attraction to them, i'm just awkward in general (and i don't blame them at all!! ik that it's really fucking difficult to be around male-looking people for women)
idk i just feel like so much revolves around my appearance. and in online spaces people are so much friendlier to me bc i dont look like... that. even then, i have habits of avoiding people which makes me unable to actually become friends with anyone.
i'm so lonely lmao
