it was 11:30 the last time you checked the time, already feeling drowsy while trying to complete the citations for your almost-ready thesis. jihoon was in the guest bedroom across the hall, working on some lyrics after the two of you had an early dinner together. if you had managed to stay awake, you would probably be nudging him about a midnight snack right about now.

feeling your stomach grumble slightly, you stretch your legs before standing up, switching off your laptop and placing it in its bag before making your way to the door. the aroma of familiar spices hits you as you walk down the hall to the kitchen, pausing at the entrance when your boyfriend's form becomes visible. it appears he hasn't noticed your presence, his face focused on the spoon of soy sauce he's measuring, steady hands holding the utensil. the forearms revealed by his rolled-up sleeves bring back vivid memories, and -

"done staring?", jihoon's soft voice interrupts your thoughts, his eyes flitting to yours for a teasing second.

"never", you respond, taking in his fond eye-roll giddily and walking to stand behind him, "you could've woken me up", you wrap your arms around his waist, "i would've helped".

"that's alright, i managed". you seemed tired.

you hum against his shoulder, not pushing it. in the years you've been with jihoon, you've learned that he's one of the most considerate people you've ever had the honor of knowing, and that he hates it when you point it out.

your eyes finally focus on the pan he's stirring, and your mind draws mental question-marks at the visual. it's fried rice, your standard midnight snack - but it doesn't have meat or egg. jihoon never makes fried rice without meet or egg.

"are those vegetables?", you mutter, "capsicums, carrots, beans?"

"yeah", he shrugs, "thought i'd try something different".

his hand brushes against yours fleetingly. i pay attention, it says.

for the last few weeks, you've gotten rather disinterested in meat and egg, preferring more vegetarian options instead. it's not a conscious choice on your part, it's just A Thing that has happened. you haven't mentioned it to jihoon yet because, well, it frankly didn't seem important enough to mention. tastes change all the time and you'll probably get back your fondness for meat soon, no point telling your boyfriend.

but ofcourse, he knows. he pays attention, he always has.

"mm", you press a kiss on the back of his neck, reveling in his slight shiver, "i love you".

his hand touches yours again and his lips curve slightly, but he doesn't respond. maybe if you were new to his style of love, you'd be bothered by the muted response - but you know him, and you can tell when he's teasing.

"say it back", you whisper in his ear, moving to pepper light kisses on the back of his neck, "you have to say it back".

"i am literally making you food", exasperation fills his voice, his body twitching at your ticklish kisses, "do not mess with me".

"then say it back", you blow against his skin, drawing out the longest shiver yet.

"that's it", you barely register his words before he turns off the stove, turning and expertly pulling you in front of him, his body caging yours against the counter. his mouth meets yours in a kiss you gladly reciprocate, chuckling against his curved lips.

You couldn't help but giggle at how flustered he got. You and Jihoon had only begun officially dating three months ago, after spending the last two years of college together as just friends. It was on graduation day did he decide to confess his feelings for you, thinking that you didn't feel the same way and that you would never see each other ever again.

Safe to say, that was not true because now, you're dating.

The news was surprising to every single one of your mutual friends, mostly Soonyoung, as he was the middle-man that got the two of you to meet in the first place. You were his friend since freshman year, and Jihoon was his friend since high school. He was the most shocked when he spotted the two of you holding hands on one your dates, and he just so happened to be in the area.

He even gave you both the silent treatment because neither of you told him when it first happened, only getting over it when you invited bought him coffee.

Soonyoung openly expressed how he never expected you to be dating Jihoon. Granted, you were both complete opposites of each other. The dynamic that Soonyoung had used to describe the two of you was that you were "a ray of a sunshine, that even the sun would hide away in jealousy", and Jihoon was "a dark cloud, incapable of expressing anything other than anger". Jihoon definitely smacked Soonyoung after hearing that.

You knew your mutual friend was wrong; Jihoon isn't incapable of expressing his emotions, he simply has his own way of doing so, and that was evident with how he confessed to you. It wasn't extravagant; it was simple, but you couldn't help but fall for him because of its simplicity.

A playlist. He made you a playlist, filled with songs you've never listened to, but after reading into the lyrics of the full playlist, you immediately drove to Jihoon's place to tell him the feelings were mutual.

He had his doubts. Jihoon told you that night that you would be dating someone that has never experienced a relationship before. Of course, you didn't mind. You found it endearing how you were the first person in his life he would call his lover.

But, unfortunately, there came a few doubts after continuing onto a relationship with him.

You hated it, though, how you would unintentionally compare Jihoon to your exes. You knew Jihoon was learning how to love you openly, and be just as affectionate as you are, but he's just not used to it. He's not a shower when it comes to affection, but he's unsure on how to show that he truly cares about you either.

It's a mess—he thinks it's a mess how he loves you.

And sure enough, Soonyoung thinks so, too.

"You're red as a tomato," Soonyoung pointed out as soon as Jihoon slid into his car. His eyes glanced up at your apartment complex, "Then again, you spent the night with Y/N."

"Can you shut up and drive?" Jihoon grumbled, trying to regulate his breathing, his hand involuntarily raised up to where you had kissed him. Looking out the window, the corner of his lips rose a bit, his heart racing in his chest.

"Why did you spend the night at Y/N's again?"

"None of your business." What he told you was that his office was closer in distance to your apartment, and he thought that he'd be able to get to work faster by staying with you for the time being. His actual reason: he just wanted to spend more time with you.

"Come on," Soonyoung whined, Jihoon still adamant. "You've never even told me how you both got together, and that's frustrating for me as the middle-man of your relationship."

Jihoon couldn't help but stare at his friend in disbelief.

"Neither would've been friends if it wasn't for me and my stomachache." Jihoon couldn't help but chuckle, remembering how Soonyoung and left you and Jihoon alone for two hours because he was fighting for his life in the campus bathroom.

Of course Jihoon was a bit grateful for Soonyoung accidentally eating too much spicy food, but he'd never admit that. Jihoon wouldn't hear the end of it.

"You're happy, though, in the relationship?"

The question that Soonyoung had directed to the both of you. As the middle-man of your relationship, he feels responsible that you both are together now, and obviously, as a true friend, he wants both you and Jihoon to be happy, all whilst supporting your relationship.

He had asked you the same question last week, when you were gathered with a few other friends since you and Soonyoung were in the same college major. When he knew you both were out of earshot from everyone else, he dropped the question.

"Yeah, I am," you answered, sending him a reassuring smile. "It's a process, obviously, since this is his first relationship, but I'm okay with guiding him along."

"Do you ever doubt he loves you the way you love him?"

It took you a few minutes to process his question, letting it rake through your thoughts, every single memory you've made with Jihoon since establishing your relationship. You were hesitant, but you nodded, causing a glimpse of guilt pass through Soonyoung's eyes.

"Like I said, it's his first relationship, there are things that just going through life won't teach you unless you've been in a relationship before," you explained, "sure, there are times when I couldn't help but compare him to my exes, but that doesn't mean I'll end it because Jihoon isn't like my exes—because Jihoon isn't like my exes, is why I'm still with him.

"I am," Jihoon answers, his eyes focused on his phone, the morning traffic causing them both to stay put within the streets of Seoul. "I wouldn't have confessed if I knew I wouldn't be happy."

"But do you love Y/N?" This question got Jihoon to pause his game, turning to face Jihoon, a skeptical look obvious on his friend's face.

"Why do you ask that?"

"Because, Jihoon, if I'm being honest with you," he begins, leaning back in his chair, letting one hand grip the steering wheel lazily, "you don't look like you're in love."

Jihoon's brow rose, rolling his eyes at his friend's notion.

"I'm serious, you don't necessarily show that you love Y/N," he exclaims, "like, I could tell that Y/N likes you, loves you even." Jihoon couldn't help but agree with that statement. The obvious evidence of your genuine feelings being that of earlier, with the kiss on his cheek and fixing his collar.

"Do you know your love language, Jihoon?"

"What?"

"Love language, do you know yours?" Jihoon only shook his head. "Do you know Y/N's?"

Again, Jihoon shook his head. To him, you might have all love languages equally spread out within you.

Physical touch; you would greet him with a kiss on the cheek when you knew no one was looking, knowing he'd be too embarrassed to display any affection publicly. You would also reach out to hold his hand, or link your pinkies when walking together, as a sign to say you were right there beside him.

Acts of service; you knew Jihoon wasn't too keen on cooking, and he'd have a terrible habit of ordering in food when he's hungry, so you'd take it upon yourself to cook him breakfast and dinner, sometimes heading over to his place just to make sure he's eating well.

Words of affirmation; Jihoon openly expressed how he gets shy when hearing compliments, and confessing to you that you were the only one that would compliment over mundane things. Such as when he could detect the BPM of a song, or play a random instrument you hand him when you both visit a music store.

"Oh my gosh, you're so cool."

"Damn, I wish I could play a guitar as good as you do."

"You look really handsome today, Jihoon."

"Good luck today at work."

And these were just the ones that he'd discovered since dating you three months ago. He knew that you'd always make him feel loved, and he was learning on how to do the same for you. It was difficult though, he also knew that.

He wanted nothing more than to make you feel just as loved, or even more. You had grown to become his best friend and his lover, and maybe, a part of him believes it's a first love thing, but he's glad to have it be you.

But other than a first love, he wanted you to be his last.

He knows he has to change his ways; be more open with his feelings towards, state how much you mean to him, or else, he might risk losing you because he's so terrible at loving you.

Jihooon <3 i'll be home late the team wants to go out for dinner

You alrightt have fun <3

Jihooon <3 thank you

Jihoon eyed the chatroom for what felt like an eternity, before typing in and sending.

Your eyes practically bulged out of your head when you saw the additional message he had sent.

Jihooon <3 <3

The smile on your lips only grew wider, your cheeks heating up as you locked your screen, your eyes averting back to the movie you put on, but you weren't focused.

Slowly but surely, you thought. It was a process after all, relationships. They aren't easy to navigate if one person held onto the reigns with all their might, while the other sits on their partner's shoulders, riding on the wave of time. You knew he'd eventually start being comfortable with showing you affection, especially in his own way.

You never thought it would be very soon, though.

You found yourself waking up to the sound of gentle knocking on your door. Glancing at the time on your laptop, you saw that it was already half-past eleven and you had fallen asleep in the middle of your movie.

Groggily, you rose from your bed and headed to the front door, opening to find Jihoon there.

"Jihoon?" You rubbed at your eyes, finding him leaning against the wall across from your door, head hanging low as pink dusted his cheeks, eyes closed. You stood in front of him, reaching out to gently hold his face, patting his cheek gently. "Jihoon."

His eyes opened lazily, blinking a few times before finding your eyes. Immediately, he smiled down at you, slurring, "Y/N…" You scrunched your nose, smelling alcohol from him which only caused your brows to furrow.

"Come in, it's cold," you urged, pulling him into your apartment and letting him lie on your couch. "I'll make you some tea." He only nodded weakly, his eyes fluttering close again.

He must've drank, despite being the type to never do so. During outings with college friends, when alcohol was involved, Jihoon would always have anything but alcohol in his cup.

"How much did you drink?" you asked, helping him sit up from his position, offering the cup of warm tea.

He took a sip, smacking his lips a few times before answering, "Half a bottle, I think—I'm more of a lightweight, you know?"

"Really?" you chuckled. "Do you need anything?"

Jihoon placed the cup on the coffee table, shaking his head before reaching out, his arms snaking around your waist as he rests his face into your shoulders. "Stay here… with me."

You froze in his hold, surprised with his sudden action. A fond smile growing on your lips as you placed an arm around him, adjusting yourself so you were comfortably holding onto him, leaning your back against the arm of your couch.

"I'm sorry for not loving you enough, Y/N," Jihoon uttered, your chest tightening at his words. "And I'm sorry I need alcohol to have the courage to show you that I love you."

"Hey, don't say that," you mumbled, your fingers running through the nape of his neck. "You just have your own way of showing it, Jihoon."

He finally lifted his head, revealing his face as he leans his head on your shoulder, glassy eyes staring up at you. "But Soonyoung told me that you'd doubt that I love you as much as you love me…"

You rubbed the back of his head, eyes filled with adoration as you smiled down at him, finding his eyes fluttering close at your touch.

"You don't need to show affection the way that I do to you, to prove you love me, Jihoon," you assured him, "I think we balance each other out because I'm very frontal with my affection, and you're lowkey about it."

"Balance, hm?" You nodded, letting yourself sink into the couch until you were lying down beside Jihoon, his arms still around your waist as yours wrapped his shoulders.

As the two of you proceed to drift to sleep, you heard him utter softly before drifting to complete slumber. "I'm pretty sure you're my soulmate, Y/N."

You thought there were better things to do than be in bed all day, but Joshua thought otherwise. These free days weren’t rare but definitely getting sparse, placing more significance on quality time, even indoors. The thought vanishes thin into the air when your boyfriend develops the mood physically, wasting no time–in his words anyway–and captures your naked body in his, dipping his hips into you to create friction that he knew drove you crazy.

He could never get sick of you moaning his name. It was like the butter to his perfectly toasted slice of bread, a simple symphony of goodness that in no way could be replicated.

The supple skin that you spent minutes of an hour moisturizing wouldn’t go to waste, tasting as sweet on his tongue as good as it smelled. He was in love with every texture and bump, ingraining into every wrinkle of his brain for keepsake. He could never have enough and he’d prove it too.

“Mmh, yeah…taking me like that…that good?”

There isn’t a moment in time his cock inside your core isn’t pure heaven pushing in and out of you. He’s careful not to hurt you, caressing your hips, and cushioning your posterior in his large hands, while he’s rearranging your insides and with only thoughts of what would please you more. The matter that his dick doing a swell job of ebbing every twitch to your hips only boosts up his ego a smidge, he claims, knowing damn well it was quite the understatement.

“Josh…squeeze me harder…fuck me deeper…”

He also likes how you knew the things to say, ordering him around, teaching him, gratifying him with the heightened volumes of your whines, your screams, his name on your tongue, again. It’d go on for hours–days if he could–and it’s never enough, but god did it feel good to try.

At this point, it’s in the middle of the afternoon and the only reason either one of you had gotten up was to go to the restroom or fetch snacks and water. Neither of you were hungry, thirsty, or felt the need for a different kind of release, so you stayed back together in bed. Joshua has made his point of being the man for you by having you climax in his presence countless times in countless methods and for countless hours. It was time for rest, you both concluded. For now.

You’d nuzzle into his bare chest, feeling the sweat radiate off his incredulously toned body, while his arms–bulging and rippled in from arm day for three times a week every week–shifts around your frame, tugging you close to him. His soft smile lets out a satisfied hum, puckered lips meeting your eyebrows. “You look so tired.”

“Whose fault is that?” you tease with your eyes.

His laughter reminds you of cotton candy, sweet and plush if ever materialized. It brought you back to how addicted you were to such a treat as a child. Now its been replaced with its personified self, Joshua Jisoo Hong. He melted in your mouth better than any confectioners sugar.

“I should feel guilty but,” he shrugs his shoulders to make a show of it, “I don’t. As long as you keep moaning my name or look at me with those eyes–”

You bubble up in laughter, “What eyes–”

“I’ll never stop. Love me the way you do and I’ll make every opportunity together a core memory.”

You light-heartedly scoff, your canine digging at your bottom lip when your eyes fixate on him, feeding into every word, every look, every breathing pattern. Your hand comes up to cup his face and you reach his lips, slowly but surely proving to him you’d do the same. While he was best with words, you were best with action, which proved the physicality of the situation more significant.

When you first met, he was brave enough to be honest in confessing he had little plans to be ‘active’ in a romantic relationship, a sign saying turn away now before you fall into an endless pit of a sexless relationship with no soft landing. He was proven otherwise with you, someone beyond pure imagination. You were a breathing fantasy to him. He was willing to give up everything for you.

Now in the present, his tongue dances against yours, your naked body clutching him, and finally his easily replenished cock tickling against your thigh. He pushed his hand up against your lower back into his torso and your warmth hovers on top of the head of the length, your moisture sliding against the sensitivity and you whine until Joshua feels it in his throat. “Put your dick in me…”

“You just admitted to being tired,” he lightly retorts, already twitching and heart bouncing at the thought.

“I’ll just…keep it warm…please, my love…”

You are sounds of bliss no matter what the words are, but in this case, he couldn’t imagine loving you anymore with the need in your rasp and the ache between your legs. 

“Alright,” he relinquishes, hands finding balls of your flesh and guiding you to hug his girth with your fluttering walls that knew no rest. His arms bring you closer–somehow possible–and knead into your skin, feeling the soothing touch on the tips of his digits until he’s plunging the trimmed nails until his DNA is a part of you. 

“Mmh, yes,” you mewl, returning your attention to admire his beautiful face, looking at you and only you.

You may have made the request but he was relieved to enjoy it, having already missed the contracting squeeze of your walls pulsating around his needy cock. He always feared that if he had a taste of the best vessel for his cock he would have, he’d refuse to let it go–now wishing, hoping, praying you’re never pried away from his hands.

You grind down to the base of his cock, his full-length home inside you and you share a groan, giggles following after when you lock eyes. Both of you were stupidly besotted with one another, even cherishing the sweet tenderness of languid movement of both your hips not on the journey for the climax, but rather appreciating each other wordlessly, as you’ve always done.

One being your Valentine’s date went poorly, and two being your body is still buzzing with need.

You had gone to your date’s place, fully expecting to get laid on this so-called love day just so you didn’t have to wallow in endless candy wrappers alone. However, as their hands had roamed your body and their moans filled your ears, you couldn’t help but imagine it was him instead. Him, who has been your friend for three years and fuck buddy for less than one. Him, who can draw out your mewls with the graze of his fingertips. 

Although your date had touched you in places you enjoyed, it didn’t elicit the familiar feelings you have grown accustomed to. That caused you to spring from them, excuses flying out of your mouth as you hurried to grab your belongings.

It’s why you find yourself pressed against Chan’s door, his mouth moving against yours hungrily. One of his hands travels from your waist to grip your leg that’s hooked on his waist. He massages the flesh of your thigh as his tongue explores the cavern of your mouth. Your hands are gliding up and down his bare back—the results of his relentless workouts evident under your touch.

Chan pulls back to catch his breath.

“Should we slow down?” he asks between breaths.

You shake your head, eyes falling upon the faint, dark spot on his neck that wasn’t caused by you.

Chan had told you he didn’t have plans for Valentine’s this year, so you figured it would be no big deal for you to show up unannounced. What you weren’t expecting was for him to answer his door half-dressed, hair messy, lips slightly swollen, and a faint mark on his skin. Your heart had stopped a beat at the sight. You were well aware of the state Chan was in.

It wasn’t long before a woman emerged from his room, wearing just a tee and panties. The heat in your body had increased. You weren’t sure if it was because Chan was faring better than you at getting laid, or because he was fairing better than you without you.

After Chan told his “date” about you coming over to inform him of a family emergency, the lady left with sympathy that you didn’t entertain. Maybe it was best to play along, but you didn’t care if they believed it or not.

Seeing someone else’s marking on Chan brought a mixture of emotions; however, you decided to channel anger out of all of them.

“Why?” you scoff. “We’ve gone fast before.”

Your mouth connects with his again in hopes of returning to where you left off—to simply be in a state where you only felt his body on yours and nothing else.

“I know,” Chan pants when he moves away again, “but aren’t you upset that your date went bad?”

Right.

Telling Chan how rude your date was was a lie. The reason why your date went south wasn’t that your date was rude, it was because you couldn’t stop thinking of the person in front of you.

As if you would ever disclose that though. 

He just…feels good. He knows your body like no one else.

“I’m over it,” you sigh and lean in; however, Chan stops you.

“You can talk to me,” he tries to reassure you, which only results in an exasperated groan from you.

“I don’t need to talk, Chan. I just need you to fuck me,” you argue.

Chan’s eyes roam your face for a moment. 

“Fine,” he says before he crashes his mouth on yours. If you didn’t want to talk to him, he could at least help you feel better in a way he knew how.

You find yourself straddling him in his bed minutes later. You’re both left in your underwear, clothes forgotten somewhere along the way to his room—a trail that’ll be a morning reminder of how you are never asked to stay the next day.

That damn mark on his neck had become darker over time.

You try to ignore it, but it’s so blatantly visible you can’t help but glance at it every time you move away. You hate knowing someone else had touched him in an intimate way.

As you lean down toward his neck, you note that it shouldn’t matter if he was in bed with someone else.

As you lick and suck on the column of his neck, you recall how you’re not his.

As you create your own marks on his skin, you hope he can’t remember which hickey was from his date.

You hope all he will remember tomorrow is your mouth on him. You want him to remember how he’s moaning and gripping you closer as if he can’t get enough of you.

Chan doesn’t seem to care that you’re littering his skin with bruises as he yanks your bra and panties from your body. One of his hands grabs your chest while the other moves between your legs.

Your mouth finally finds his again, moans getting lost in each other's mouth as he glides two fingers in your wet heat. You’re grinding against his hand and shoving down his underwear.

“So damn eager,” he grunts while you pump his hard length.

“Just need to feel you,” you reply.

Chan’s fingers come back glossy with your arousal. He nudges your hand from him to coat his cock with it.

His room is filled with your moans when you sink down, fingernails clawing at his torso while your eyes shut briefly. There’s not a moment of peace as Chan snaps his hips into yours roughly. You have to press your palms on him to keep your balance.

“Shit, Chan,” you gasp. He’s large inside you, stretching you in the most addicting way.

“Always so tight for me,” he comments, eyes focused on where he’s gliding up in you. 

Your sight lands on his face. His eyebrows are furrowed, and his mouth is open. You know he won’t meet your gaze, so your gaze lingers on him. Over time he’s stopped making eye contact whenever you were fucking. You wonder if it comes from guilt. Despite only catching him with someone else once, you’re sure he’s had other “partners” that's been in your position. You aren’t the only one who’s seen and heard Chan in this way.

The thought spurs your hips to move.

You want to be the only one who can satisfy him like this. You want to make him feel so good he will only come to you when he needs a release.

Chan curses under you. His hips slow, and he throws his head back as he lets you bounce on him quickly. A hand stays on your hips while the other runs through his hair.

“That’s it,” he praises.

Your walls clench around him, loving how blissful he looks. You want to keep going–give him everything you have–but your energy is being spent fast. Your hips gradually decrease in speed. 

Instead of Chan moving you himself, he flips you over and pushes a leg up to get deeper. His mind is foggy, but somewhere in that smog is the image of you on your date tonight. You were dressed nicely; your appearance was fixed up in a way he’s never seen before. At least in a way that was never for him. 

Always for someone else.

Always for someone unworthy.

He enters you again swiftly. There’s no gentleness as he slams his hips forward. 

He recalls how many failed dates you’ve been on. How many failed dates he has been on just to spite you. He knows that’s childish. He doesn’t care about his dates in the way he should. He’s told himself that if the right person came along by chance, he will accept them happily. Though, each date never seemed to be the one.

“They never fuck you properly, hm?” Chan taunts as he continues to rock into you. “That’s why you always come here. You know I’m the only one who fucks you this good.” 

Your grip on his arms tightens at his words.

“Tell me,” Chan demands and grabs your face to angle it.

Your eyes are wide in shock as they find his. His hold is gentle compared to his sharp, slow thrusts.

“T-tell you what?” you pant. There’s a whole gamut of emotions racing through you. You’re terrified he’ll make you admit he knows your body best, yet you’re also eager to tell him that it’s true. 

“Tell me I fuck you better than anyone else,” he says.

“Channie–” you try to say, but he doesn’t give you the chance to finish your response.

“Fuck, Yn,” he huffs as he pushes into you once more before pausing. His hair is matted to his forehead, sweat covering his skin in an oddly beautiful glow. He stares at you–really watches you as if any slight movement will tell him what he needs to know. 

“I don’t know if we should do this anymore,” he finally confesses after a few minutes.

Your eyes grow in size. An invisible hand squeezes your heart, and the pain has you holding your breath. 

“Wh-what are you talking about?” you force out, but you’re afraid of his answer.

He leans back on his heels and looks down at you. The movement causes a slight shift, and you involuntarily clench around him so he doesn’t slip out. Chan sucks in a breath at the feeling.

“Don’t go on those dates,” he blurts instead.

Your head tilts in confusion. You’re trying to gather your thoughts, but it’s difficult. Out of all the times he wants to have this conversation, he chooses now.

“I’m tired of seeing you with someone who isn’t me. I can’t do this knowing you’re doing the same thing with other people.”

You swallow harshly.

You can’t believe he’s actually saying it, and for a moment, you think you’re dreaming.

“Chan, I–”

“Let’s just finish, so we can–”

“Hey, hey, stop,” you huff.

“What?” he questions as he averts his eyes.

“I only went on dates, because I didn’t think you wanted more,” you disclose.

Chan peers at you again, shaking his head.

“That’s not true,” he says softly and raises you from the bed. Your legs rest on either side of him, arms wrapped around his neck. You bite back the moan that wants to escape at the new position. “I’ve wanted more for so long, but we had made it clear we shouldn’t get into a relationship together.”

You nod, recalling the first night you slept with him and the agreements you both had set. 

“I’m willing to start one now,” you answer, a little nervous even though you’re sure of his answer.

Chan smiles, lips finding yours for a short kiss. “Me too.”

Your body moves against his again, albeit more slowly this time. Chan holds you close as you roll your hips. The slow pace lasts for a few minutes until Chan adjusts himself, so he can rock into you roughly.

There’s something about his thrusts that feel different. They’re harsh, but not in the way they were before. They’re calculated and less frantic. Regardless, each push has you edging closer to your climax.

Chan knows you’re close by the way your legs are squeezing him and moaning louder. He whispers praises in your ear that have you crying out his name a minute later. 

When he goes to pull out, you hold him tightly.

“Inside me, please,” you beg quietly.

“A-are you sure?” Chan asks. Although this isn’t the first time he hasn’t used a condom with you, he’s always pulled out. 

Nodding your head, “Yes.”

Chan adheres to your request, hips moving with newfound vigor that causes you to mewl as you begin to feel overstimulated. However, it feels so good that you feel the tightness in your stomach builds again.

“Gonna come again, baby?” Chan asks with an air of cockiness. 

“Mhm, fucking me so good, Channie,” you whine.

Chan’s hips begin to lose their force, and it doesn’t take long for him to thrust one last time. You suck in a breath when he fills you.

When Chan pulls out, his eyes are stuck looking between your legs. He gently lays you back and brings a hand to your clit. He rubs it hastily as he watches his cum spill from your spent pussy. He moans when you clench and more escapes from you.

You come for the second time with a plethora of his names. Chan smiles upon hearing them, watching your body shiver with pleasure. When you slowly ease down from your high, Chan pulls away.

“You okay?” he wonders.

“More than okay,” you smile at him.

“Let’s talk more about us tomorrow, okay?” he suggests and begins to climb off the bed. 

“Sounds good,” you mumble, watching as he leaves for the bathroom. After a moment, you hear water running. You’re teetering into dreamland when he comes back. Your eyes flutter open, not knowing they had closed earlier. He takes your hand and guides you to the restroom.

“A quick shower then we can go back to bed. Can you do this without me? I want to change the sheets,” he kindly says.

Although you wish he would stay with you, you nod and step under the warm water. It feels relaxing and immediately you sigh at the sensation.

“Okay,” he replies then presses a chaste kiss to your mouth before he leaves.

As you clean yourself, you feel as though a layer of sadness is scrubbed away. There’s still more to discuss tomorrow, but at least you know you’re one step closer to being a real couple. 

Despite your date not going the way you planned, you’re much happier with how you spent your Valentine’s. 

For my “shy/silent” readers, I’ve created a feedback form where you can share your thoughts on my fics in a more anonymous and private way. ^-^

“What was the reason he said again? Wonwoo?” The fact that he needs to clarify who speaks volumes about your dating adventures. 

You look up at him with bloodshot eyes and pursed lips, and his heart leaps to his throat, making him want to retrace his steps. It hurts him seeing you like this.

“He said I didn’t align with his plans for the future.”

Mingyu scoffed, wanting to yell that you “dated” him for three and a half weeks! If you could even call cuddling after he rage quits on his FPS game a date. Mingyu could have told you that his narcissistic classmate would be a shitty match for you, but what would ever stop you from making those decisions for yourself?

He pushes you off his shoulder.

“What’s wrong, Gyu?”

“You.”

Your eyebrows come together as you tilt your head. Pulling in your feet to cross your legs, you ask, “What are you talking about?”

“Do you even know what you’ve been doing?” Before you can say anything, Mingyu shakes his head. “Don’t answer that.”

Right now, in front of him, is a girl who he’s loved almost his whole life. Someone who he’s made the most memories with outside of his own flesh and blood, yet someone who barely knows that he exists at the very same time.

“You know, you have the worst taste in people?” He takes a beat to see your face fall further, but he can’t stop for too long. “Every single time, you date people who can’t love you, and you’re broken every time, and I have to pick up the pieces and put you back together. And yet, you still keep dating the same shitty type of people. No matter what they look like, they have the same rotten hearts on the inside.”

It takes everything in Mingyu’s power not to let the tears pinching his eyes flow, so he keeps speaking. “I would think that you’d be satisfied, but you’re never satisfied. And you’re always looking for more, and,” he balls his hands into fists, “And I’m literally here, (Y/N). I love you, and I’ve loved you a long time, and you’ve never seen me that way.”

“W-wait, you can’t just say that, Mingyu!”

“Okay.” He says tersely. “Tell me you’ve seen me that way, and I’ll stop.”

He knows you would lie about it, and he’s not taking any of your bullshit today. The jaw drop is enough for him to continue. “I wish you did see me that way, and I’ll be honest with you, I still want you to, but if you feel anything toward me at all, I don’t want to date you.”

The knife in his heart twists further when the word “why” is whispered just barely louder than the sound of your breath.

This strong and tough exterior he planned on coming into the conversation with broke down all at once. “You need to work on yourself, (Y/N),” his voice comes out gently, especially seeing as you’re starting to cry for another reason other than what you originally came here for. He wants to hug you and say it’ll all be okay, but he can’t. “You need to know what it’s like to be alone.”

Mingyu takes his thumb, swipes it underneath one of your eyes, and repeats the motion with the other. “And you deserve better, but I also deserve better. If that means we'll always be friends and nothing more, then that's okay with me. But I also want you to know that if your feelings change while you’re working on yourself, then we can have a talk about it.”

He presses his lips to your forehead as he pulls you into a hug, fully knowing this may be the first and last time he’ll have the privilege of doing so. He knows if he pulls away from the hug first, he’ll shatter. Mingyu whispers into the shell of your ear, “I have so much love for you, (Y/N). Always have and always will, but you need to love yourself before anything else happens. But don’t forget that I’ll always be your friend A.”

please feel free to provide feedback, reblogs, or likes if you enjoyed reading this fic!

It all probably began to go downhill when he had started gaining traction on social media as a handsome young politician who knew what he was saying for a change. The constant phone calls, along with people hogging him on the streets became too much for just the two of you and he wanted to bring in external help. But neither of you could afford it but then one day, suddenly, money wasn't an issue. He'd jokingly said that he found a generous old lady who had a thing for pretty boys. You later found out he'd taken money from a coal company, which went completely against the climate change agenda he'd been preaching.

He'd cried when you found out about it, saying that it was a one time thing in exchange for attending a few of their board meetings to give an impression to the public that they were doing something about their gas emissions.

You'd forgiven him then, it was his first time making a mistake and his tears had made you weak. Having a crush on someone's for over four years does that to a person.

Fast forward a few months, you overhead him on the phone, making a shady deal, promoting some snack company which had been heavily linked to an FDA official's bribery charge.

He'd denied it when you confronted him, saying that you probably heard it wrong. You trusted him again.

One day, while he was away on an interview, you'd accidentally stumbled upon the documents of the deal he'd denied making.

You felt foolish, for trusting him, and betrayed.

But hey, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me,right?

Since that day, you'd started collecting evidence, for the day you expose his true face. Your friendship had deteriorated significantly, you kept the PR rep job out of spite and vengeance.

His demeanor had also changed behind the scenes, from being the sweet, joking boy who shined so brightly to a wicked, patronizing dictator who manipulated people like they were puppets. He was pretty good at it too, blessed with the kindest eyes and the most beautiful smile, it was hard not to immediately fall for such a sincere looking face.

There was also another dynamic that had evolved between you two. It was much more beneath the surface, something that others weren't privy to. Innocent stolen glances of early twenties had turned to heated, despising looks filled with lust. It hadn't gone beyond eating each other with your eyes, your hatred and his ego stopping both of you. But the tension had been rising subtly, ever since that one time you'd caught him staring at your ass in a bodycon dress at an event.

Anyways, enough of a back story, you made your way into his office, annoyed that he'd called you in just as you were going home for the day. Well actually, you weren't really going home, you had plans to meet up with some college friends, Mingyu being one of them. He was sweet, and nice and everything Seokmin wasn't anymore. Back in college you'd rejected him because you were so in love with Seokmin that you hadn't really looked at Mingyu. But as you reconnected at one of the reunions, you'd hit it off with him and who knew, it could actually lead to something healthy.

Seokmin saw you come in, and raised a sharp brow at your attire. You had a black low-cut top on exposing enough cleavage for him to involuntarily swallow, with wide legged leather pants and high heels. His first thought was to pin you against the wall and test with his mouth if the skin of your breasts was really as soft and supple as it looked. His second thought was where you were going and more importantly with whom, as his possessiveness took over.

You saw him, sitting on the emerald green suede armchair, his strong thighs pulling the fabric of his dress pants.

Fuck, why the fuck was he so hot.

"You wanted to see me?" you asked, with as much sincerity as you could muster. You just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible and see Mingyu's pretty face and nice eyes and have a good time.

Seokmin, for the life of him, could not remember what he'd called you in for. It seemed like all the blood that was in his brain had suddenly rushed down elsewhere seeing you all dolled up.

"Sorry, I didn't know you had plans. We can talk tomorrow." He wanted to inquire more but didn't really know how to breach the subject.

Let's just say you were more than mildly offended by his lack of questions. An irrational part of your brain wanted him to care, to ask where you were going so late at night, and wanted to see his reaction when you mentioned Mingyu. Fuck, why did you care so much about what he thought.

That dumb, hormonal part of your brain took over and you blurted," Yeah I have a thing, a date actually, with Mingyu, remember him? From college?"

If there was a third party in this room, they wouldn't have been able to catch the way Seokmin's jaw tightened, his hands gripped the armchair a little bit more firmly, and his eyes narrowed, only by a few millimetres.

Yup, you were satisfied now. It was really immature, and you knew that, but it felt good, you didn't really want to think why.

What you really didn't expect was for him to get up from his chair.

He walked towards you, surety in his step, confidence in his eyes and smugness in that wicked smirk.

The hair at the nape of your neck stood up as he started coming closer and closer, as you started taking steps back, only to be entrapped between him and the wall. His mildly scented perfume was attacking your senses now, as his strong body towered over you and you felt a blush rise up to your cheeks.

He bent down, and brought his lips next to your ear, his breath deliciously caressing your neck as he whispered,

omgomg sam, i am so fucking excited for the next part, ugh i loved this!

the way you wrote dk as a meanie, and a man with no morals whatsoever lol 🤣 and even though i am not there, i can feel the tension!! it's as clear as the day puhlease.

i love that reader is trying to collect evidence against him (atleast someone knows what's right hahha) and also, mingyu, sorry she said she had a date with u even tho it's not a date!! desperate times need desperate measures lol.

and this dk is so hot 😩😩 sam, you wrote him like a fucking meal i can eat him whole fr!!!!!

The urge to wipe the annoying grin from his stupidly gorgeous face is high but not higher than screaming my lungs out; instead I bite the palm of his hand in order to be quiet. But I’m sure that whoever is passing by the green room can hear the muffled groans coming from inside the small, and almost empty room.

One moment I was telling him that I hate his gut and the next moment he’s re-arranging my gut. I don’t know how I ended up in this position — pressed up against the wall, perky nipples brushing against the smooth surface of the wall, a hand clasping over my mouth, Taehyung’s hot breath falling on my neck, raising goosebumps as he deeply thrusts inside me. Raw.

Taehyung sticks his tongue out to lick the side of my neck, “do you like it, hmm? Do you like it when I’m taking your sweet cunt from behind?” he asks and when he doesn’t receive an answer, he softly nibbles on my earlobe, and almost immediately, the desperate nods from me proves that he’s indeed right.

I desperately reach out to hold his hand that is covering my mouth as he pushes his throbbing cock deeper, and I push back. Breathy moans fall from his lips, “Just like that, clench your pussy tighter around my cock.” He pauses before groaning once I clench around him again, then adds, “do you feel how fucking hard I am?”

I let out a surprised mewl as I feel him directly hitting the sweet spot.

“You’re such a pretty little slut for me, aren’t you? So fucking perfect when you’re creaming on my cock, like you own it.”

I blurt out some choked, coherent words, as drool slips past my mouth. “What did you say?” he chuckles as his free hand grabs one of my boobs, and takes my nipple between his two fingers to pinch and pull, making me hiss as he finally removes his hand from my mouth. I take a lung full of air before speaking in a hushed tone, begging him, “please don’t stop.”

And suddenly I’m being pushed against the wall, now facing him; clearly hating how that shit eating grin is still there on his face, “I love it when you beg.” Without giving me time to respond, he hikes up one of my legs over his shoulder. He slaps the tip of is cock against my opening before pushing it inside.

I gasp for air, feeling him stretch my pussy more in this position. One of my hands holds onto his shoulder, and the other one holds the back of my knees to support my jittery body, as silent moans fall from my parted lips. Taehyung’s hand roams all over my body before it reaches my tits, and he slaps them multiple times as they become pebbled, almost immediately, under his harsh action.

With his brows furrowed and teeth biting the corner of his soft, pillowy lips, he’s completely focusing on my face. Feeling myself getting heated, I tear my gaze away from his. My eyes fall on our silhouette in the mirror— my nails are digging into his shoulder, my hair’s a mess and my lipstick is almost gone, most of it printed on Taehyung’s neck.

My body quivers as the sensational pleasure of feeling my high approaching at a rapid speed spreads on my lower region. “Taehyung,” I whimper out his name before adding, “mm, ’m so close.”

He slows down his movements, thrusting at a slow pace before pulling out his cock, making me whine. His hand comes in contact with my sensitive nub as he rubs his finger back and forth along the slit, before he dives two of his fingers inside. My eyes roll back and I see the white dots dancing when they close by themselves. The sloshing sound of my gushing sweetness fills the room, and within a second I squirt all over his hand.

“What a fucking mess….just how I like.”

Without wasting any time, I put my leg down from his shoulder, and push his back against the cool surface of the wall before dropping on my knees. My hand immediately finds its way to Taehyung’s throbbing cock with its tip angry, begging for release.

His hips rock forward once I give kitten licks on the tip of his cock. My one hand holds his thigh, and the other one slowly grips his length before I lick a few times on his frenulum, making him hiss. His hands are thrown over his head as his muscles flexes with his movements. I lay my tongue flat against his throbbing cock, teeth lightly grazing the length before I take him wholly.

His hands come down to hold my hair, as he moves it according to his own pace, using my mouth like he owns it. I relax my jaw, and small gagging sounds erupt from my throat, vibrating against him. I hollow my cheeks, allowing myself to suck him properly before sucking hardly on the tip.

“Shit, just like that!” he groans.

I look up to find his eyes closed shut, mouth open agape, as he suddenly spurts his cum all over my mouth. I pump him till the last drop before licking him clean.

With my wobbly legs, I stand by holding the wall beside him after a while. “You need help with that?” He asks, motioning towards me with his eyes, as the cocky smile spreads on his lips.

“I fucking hate you!” I whisper yell.

He wears his boxers, then his leather pants, and zips it. “That’s not what your pussy said earlier,” and with that, he exits the room, leaving me hot and bothered.

Even though I said I hate him, I know I’ll find myself in this same scenario once again.

I've never wrote anything quick like this one lol. Legit finished the smut at midnight 💀 Thank you for reading~ feedbacks are highly appreciated! Let's be friends? <3

.

.

You wouldn't stand a chance if she did.

You wouldn't stand a chance if she did.

You wouldn't stand a chance if she did.

You never did.

No one would see, let alone choose the silent girl next to the sun herself.

That was something you realized not even the hard way, but rather simply as you grew up.

You were okay with it, you didn't mind it, at least for the most part. At least until you saw Jungkook with his smile and fluffy hair with his oh-so-beautiful sparkly eyes you'd wish you were the tiniest bit more visible.

You were all gathered up in one of your friend's houses, just chilling and sitting down together to finally relax after your finals. You would rather be going back to bed after spending days without sleeping but your friend insisted on getting some air before that. You were never the one to resist her.

It has been a couple of hours since you came, some empty bottles were now on the floor and the table and laughter were filling the space but all you could focus on was how Jungkook's bunny laugh was all over his face, and his hair was falling beautifully over his eyes.

You wanted to see his eyes.

No, you wanted to get out of there and breathe.

So you did exactly that, you softly moved from your place to go sit outside for a while, just eyeing your friend to let her know about it. She just nodded with a soft smile on her face, knowing you sometimes needed that.

You stepped outside, immediately feeling better once you took a deep breath and sat down to look at the sky. The chilly air keeping you awake and alive, and a couple of stars that managed to twinkle through the city lights were blinking down at you, reminding you of the very boy who was sitting right inside with the very same sparkles.

God, it was beautiful.

He was beautiful.

"You like the sky?"

And now you were hallucinating.

"Y/N?"

You definitely were hallucinating.

Jungkook flopped beside you, his body radiating all the warmth in the world.

Okay, you weren't hallucinating.

"Hm?"

And that giggle again.

Why was he here again? Why was he doing this to you?

"I asked if you liked the sky?"

"Oh, yes, I do, probably more than anything."

"Yeah, I figured that out after you looked at it mesmerized this whole time."

"You did?"

"Yep."

Oh...so he was right behind you when you were out there dreaming about him and that goddamn eyes of his. Great.

You didn't know what more to say but he was still looking at you, quite focused too if you were to add, so you just blurted out the words,

"We always spent our nights in one of our backyards trying to match the stars to each other every night, Ari and I, I mean."

"Yeah? Which one was your favorite?"

"Uhm, we-"

Jungkook cut you off, just when you were trying to remember those old memories.

"I didn't ask about Ari Y/N, I asked which one was your favorite."

"Oh.."

"Yeah, now c'mon what's the answer hm?"

"I-I guess it was Orion? It was the easiest to find for me so it was just soothing in a way."

"Orion.."

He whispered, like he was trying to keep that information in his mind. You just nodded, not knowing what to say to him other than that. You couldn't believe he was sitting there, his knee touching yours, like this was something you did all the time when it was the exact opposite of it.

Why did he look so relaxed sitting there? You wish you knew.

You wish you could just sit with him the whole night.

You couldn't take your eyes off of his side profile, memorizing every inch of his face as he kept quiet, until the wind came by with a force, making you shiver and Jungkook laugh at that, turning to face you with his gorgeous smile and speaking.