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So alot has happened on my moving situation, my friend, or now girlfriend heh, has to move out before her mum notices she's on hrt, we've been doing research and decided to buy a flat of sorts somewhere in scottland wich is around 50k
And given that I earn 10k a year I'm obviously not cutting it in less than a year. So we're literally desperate to the point of asking people if it's ok for her to move in with them for a couple years. The reason why her and not the both of us is cus her situation is more dire.
In the mean time (And I really don't wanna do this T_T) I've added a goal on my kofi for anyone who's able to donate. (I really hate asking for money.)
So the current plan is to just find someone who's cool with her staying for a couple years.
But yea, kind a shitty situation we're in but we'll chug through it.
ok hiii i would love it if you told me about any of your ocs because by golly they sound amazing
hii!! YES I love talking about them!!
Okay, so there is James, Evie, Amy, Oliver, and Julian. I will be talking about each of them under the cut :)))
relationships: Evie & James are The Best Friends. Amy & Oliver are either very codependent or broken up, depending on the place in the timeline. Julian & Evie are in a romantic relationship and love each other a lot <3 James & Amy hate each other bitterly, until character development later on. Amy & Evie are twin sisters, but they’re dynimsc is complacted becuase Evie is close with James and Amy resents / is jealous of that, becuase she feels quite lonely and sees Evie & James friendship as her sister choosing to spend her time with someone else becuase Amy wasn’t good enough for her - that isn’t the truth,becuase Evie does care about Amy, it’s just complicated.
James is the quiet kid + a lot of people feel nervous around him becuase he dresses very emo and rarely smiles. he’s aroace and transmasc, which has been hard just because he struggles with the societal expectation that if you don’t date then you’ll be alone , and also becuase his Dad is abusive. James and Evie are childhood best friends. she’s the only one who knows about the abuse that he’s been through, and is the only one who’s able to understand him whenever he goes non verbal. James and Amy recognises themselves in each other, which is one of their reasons why they can’t stand each other. And, they were in the same class in primary schoo,and one day then Amy did something that majorly triggered James. It was not intentional on her part, but he thought that it was, and when Amy feels guilty then she’s quick to get angry/defensive. Also James’s Mum and sister both left when he was younger,so he feels very alone. He’s struggled with self harm and suicidal idealation in the past. I don’t think he’d even be alive if it wasn’t for Evie noticing when things get bad and immediately intervening / staying with him to keep him company.
Evie is kinda the sunshine character, except that’s mostly just her trying to be perceived that way by other people. She thinks a lot and loves to books (her and James can read in silence together for ages), but frequently feels a bit disconnected from the rest of the world and finds it difficult to understand people. That’s one of the things she loves about her partner, Julian - how they’re very direct, so she never has to struggle to figure out what they’re thinking. Evie and Amy did not get along much as little kids. Evie cares about her sister a lot, but she also believes that chosen family is just as important as family, so whilst she would like for them to be honest with each other and fix things between them, she isn’t going to apologise first becuase she doesn’t believe that she has anything to be sorry for. part of the tension between them stemmed from James and Amy disliking each other, and Amy being quite mean when she was younger (lashing out) so when Amy told Evie that she had to choose between either her or James, Evie chose James. And Amy never forgave her for it.
Amy…. oh gosh. she has been through a LOT and finds it almost impossible to fully trust people. A ‘family friend’ groomed her when she was younger, and manipulated her quite a lot. Amy doesn’t even realise how bad it was until years later, when he’s gone, and she realises everything, but then she feels like it was her fault so ehe never talks about it with anyone, and instead just carries it around inside of her and never allows other people to get too close. But anyway, she instinctively resents her parents and Evie for not being aware of the abuse and putting a stop to it. and also because she became the ‘problem child’ whilst she was being groomed, becuase she would get angry easily and say a lot of horrible things to people. But when her mum punished her for it, thinking she was just being attention seeking,she became even closer to her abuser because she felt isolated from her family. Anyway, much later in life, she does get into a relationship with Oliver. It’s just not exactly a healthy one. It’s like she needs to be the most important person in his life becuase she’s constantly expecting him to give up on her. A self fulfilling prophecy. Also, Amy has severe mental health issues as well as an eating disorder, and when Oliver tries to help her/talk about it, then they just end up arguing.
Oliver is the one in that poem you reblogged with the line “there are bills to pay”. He starts looking after his two younger sisters + doing all the housework & chores at a very young age. also works two jobs just to make ends meet, which leaves him feeling burnt out and exhausted a lot of the time. He’s also bisexual and has ADHD. so sometimes he’ll be cooking at cleaing at two in the morning, or working for a whole weekend with no breaks at all. I think eventually, someone would discover that both his parents have left and social services would probably get involved. however, I think there may be an aunt/distant relative who then moves in with him and his sisters, during his last few years of high school. he clashes a lot with the aunt becuase he like NEEDS to be needed, and doesn’t know what to do when he isn’t responsible for everything. It leads to him feeling useless and unwanted. This is one of the reasons he and Amy start dating later on. And one of the reasons why they take so long to break up. Eventually, once they’ve both worked on themselves a lot and gone to therapy, I think they get back together. But their relationship would be quite different (in a good way)
Julian! love them so much. they have the adhd/autism combo and a lot of energy! also they’re genderfluid and usually use they/them or sometimes she/he depending on the day. they grew up in foster care, and lived with a few different foster families but never one for too long. they do have a gambling addiction at one point (partly because of the dopamine it gives their brain) but manages to recover from that. also they love Evie so so much. they’re just like: “my girlfriend is so awesome and wonderful…” and then go on a full on ramble about her. Their hyperfixations: turtles, knitting, science (particularly experiments), and rollercoasters. She and James really don’t get along at first, but when they do- well let’s just say that it’s kind of a madwheeelr dynamic where they will both mock each other to the hearts content, but if anyone else says something then they will staunchly defend each other & team up. What eventually made them get on with each other was that they realised how much they both care about Evie in different ways, and then bonded over sharing memories they have with her. Thus, mutual respect & friendship was formed.
congrats if you’ve made it this far! also I have playlists for each character and a few poems/fics for some of them… though I don’t write about them as much as I think about them just because it takes a lot of energy to write and often less people will read it if it’s oc stufff. Thank you so much for the ask though!!! :))) honestly I’ve really enjoyed having a good yap, so thanks for the opportunity to do so :)
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i hear you’ve been to SCOTLAND??? SCOTLAAANDD take me with you /silly
Yup! visiting grandparents which was absolutey lovely :) also it’s kinda cooler there which was brilliant bc if I get anymore sun then I think I’ll burn up. dw next time I’ll definitely remember to pack you in my suitcase, you can be a stowaway /silly
hiii!! just saw this because i refuse to check my notes giggles
my day has been good!! i’ve been proofreading and revising… so much work to do sigh… and just am planning some other fic about the same two people because an idea came to me on the toilet 😭 also got to play pokemon unite and i am now a pirate!!
wow,sounds busy! Ik what you mean though, it’s so tempting to start writing lots of different stories at once. I’m at the point where I’m trying to finish some off and it’s sooo hard. Shiver me hearties! is that something that pirates say? idk, but I hope you have lots of fun playing Pokémon :D
I’m great thanks <3 rn I’m mentally preparing myself to socialise later. also answering asks, which is always awesome :))
but the second a character shows signs of mental illness that aren't romanticized by the media they're suddenly 'poorly written' with 'bad development'
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(this came out of a conversation in the comments on a previous post about an author threatening to stop updating a fic because of lack of engagement)
So there’s this idea that fic writers should write for themselves and not care too much about stats or engagement,
and i totally get the sentiment behind that. if writing becomes entirely about stats and external validation, something important does get lost - creative freedom and joy, conviction in your own writing
but i also think:
“i write for myself, but i post for others.”
because posting fic is not only self-expression. it’s social. ao3 is called an archive, but emotionally it often functions as a community space.
people post for connection, for participation, for others to bear witness to their pain and trauma and grief,
and i don’t think most people are asking to be admired so much as acknowledged. there’s something deeply human about wanting another person to encounter something that mattered to you and go:
“ok, yeah, I see what you were trying to say. I see you.”
especially because fanfic is often people processing very real feelings through fictional characters at a safe distance, one step removed,
and then uploading that deeply personal thing into a shared archive and hoping somebody else might connect with it.
And i think that’s why it hurts so much when you summon up the courage and post a fic into the void and you get nothing back,
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