chae

they did took care of you that definitely ruin the whole concept of you being their toy and made you confused. the switch up is totally odd as well. they’re always so rude and harsh towards you, then suddenly they went soft and gentle.

that tho, didn’t change the fact that you felt used. (name)’s words kept repeating inside your mind like a broken radio.

a faint knock on your bedroom door snaps you out of you thoughts.

“y/n?” its your mom. “you have visitors. your friends are here.” she announced that draws your brows together.

“friends?” you’re beyond confuse.

nobody ever visited you, and more importantly, what friends? while feeling a little disoriented, you forced yourself out of the bed then faced the mirror once.

the smile on your mother’s face is bright, looking so delighted. she feels excited by this visit she’s referring to, you can tell by how she ushered you down the staircase.

“mom, wait.” you tried calming her down because you can’t think properly on who those friends she’s talking about.

“come on! they’re waiting.” and finally, you made it to the last step then she almost drag you to the spacious living room.

your lips gapped when you saw them dominates the sofa set by the middle. its just the four of them but it seem too crowded. maybe because they’re all so tall and now the average looking sofa looks a bit small for them.

they all whipped their heads on your direction the moment you stepped inside. you cannot exactly tell the look on their faces. your mom smiles and tugs your arm lightly.

“they said they’ve been worried, sweetie. why didn’t you told them that you’re sick?” she pouts.

you blinked, pushing the tears back inside your eyes. its a bit annoying. how you planned to ignore them after what happened and now you can feel your heart warms up just by seeing them here. how all the courage to finally end it dissipates along with your anger for the four fine men in front of you.

its kind of sickening. you find yourself pathetic for actually letting them affect you this way. they make you feel worthless, but at the same time they’re the only ones who can make you feel special.

“i’m s-sorry, it slipped off my mind.” you sniffed and tried to hide the real emotion through a half-smile.

your mom totally bought that reason. she hums and then she can hear a faint ringing from the other side of the house.

“oh! that must be my workmate. i’ll leave you guys here, okay? i will order food for you guys.” she coos and then exits the living room, leaving you alone with them.

their eyes settles at you, flashing with an foreign look on it. that made you feel uneasy so you glanced away.

“sweets,” jake was the first one to approach you closer, reaching for your arm.

his heart sank when you yank it back, declining his affection. he looks surprised and he wanted to try again, but he doesn’t want to push it.

“why are y-you here?” your voice cracks and looked at them one by one.

jay looks concerned, heeseung have his usual calm composure and sunghoon’s brows are furrowed. you can’t tell if he’s mad or worried. he stood up, stopping himself to advance towards you. he doesn’t want to scare you.

“we just want to check on you...” sunghoon says in his softest tone. he licked his lips, blinking multiple times to try and calm himself.

your view of sunghoon got covered when jake steps closer, his brows furrowed hardly and eyes glistening with sadness. his hand hangs mid way, attempting to get in touch of you, craving it.

“we got worried when you skipped class yesterday. we tried to call you, sweetheart.” jake looks desperate. it slightly broke your heart seeing him this way. his mischievous smile long gone.

“but you ignored all of us...” it was jay who talked this time.

you gave him a short glance. the stare stays for a while before you pursed your lips to sigh heavily. chest tightens and mind all messed up.

“what happened, sweets?” jake steps closer.

out of all of them, he’s the most touch deprived. one day without you and he’s all over the place. not to mention that you’ve been ignoring all of them. none of their attempts to contact you became successful and its sending him in distress.

you glanced at him then took a step backward. it pinned him on his position, eyes blank. jake looks in pain, but you looked much worst.

heeseung may seem calm, but behind this composed demeanour is his mind being a mess. he’s in panic. he never seen you this way and honestly he’s not prepared. he gulps and tries to gather himself.

“jake...” he calls his friend to stop him from advancing more.

as expected, he didn’t listen and attempts to take another step but a tear escaping your eye is what halts him from doing so. they never seen you this bothered and terrified before.

“sweets...” jake almost chokes on air when he softly tries to call you.

“p-please leave.” your breaths heavy, and chest painful from thinking that you’ll be ending what you have with them

its messed up. its very wrong. the set up is fucked up, but you can’t deny that you’ve gained more than you lost from this—whatever you call this.

it may sound exaggerated, but you think you saw all of their faces lose color. their eyes flickers fear and shoulders hangs low after hearing what you said.

“s-sweets...” jake’s voice cracks, trying to earn some sympathy. he never done that. he isn’t someone so weak. he always know where he stand and his power he holds over people. but not at the moment, specially not in front of you.

heeseung clenches his jaw to hide his trembling lips. he unclasped his fist, realizing he’s been doing that ever since you’ve walked inside the room.

jay’s in shambles. he doesn’t know what to feel at the moment. he’s always been the nonchalant one. never shown that there’s a weak spot in him. but now that you seem to be slipping away from him, he’s lost. he can feel his heart aching, hands shaking and breaths shorten.

sunghoon’s silent. his eyes never left you, fists balled tightly. he’s cursing himself. for being so ruthless and aggressive. he’s blaming it all to him and his friends. they’re so selfish. and you’re just too perfect. you did nothing wrong. it was all on them.

“y/n,” heeseung licks his lips and this time he trudges closer. jake glances at him, eyes full of hope. maybe his heeseung hyung can fix this mess. he can, right? that’s what echoes inside his mind.

“angel...” he gulps and you noticed how he’s a little off right now. he’s far from the reserve and calm, heeseung you’re used to.

he looks... anxious. the fear and trepidation flashes clearly through his eyes. something you’ve never seen before.

“tell me what’s wrong, hmm? we’ll talk about it.” he says using his calmest tone. “we’ll figure things out.”

that caught you off-guard. if there’s something about these four men have in common is that they love being in control of you. they get off seeing fear and watching you submit to them.

so to hear him saying those words are new for you. talk? will they really listen? what if they just laugh at you if you opened it up to them.

those questions clouded your mind to the point that you didn’t notice jake approaching closer. heeseung wanted to stop him, but he knew there’s no preventing jake from getting close. its either he lets him or he’ll completely lose it.

jake’s warm hands wraps over your wrist is what snaps you back in to your senses.

“sweets...” he calls you. his eyes scanned your face and wait if you’ll resist his affection once again.

he gulps, hope igniting when you didn’t shove his hold off. he took a step closer and this time cups your face. your cheeks warm that sent comfort to jake.

“tell us what’s wrong...” he whispers, pleading. he rest his forehead on top of yours and shut his eyes. “please.” he added.

that made you cry. because you got scared. you’re afraid to confront them because it may end everything.

“what a-am i to you, really?” you started that caught them off-guard.

“y-you guys...” they kept their stares right at your face, waiting attentively to what you’re about to say.

“you treat me like a toy. you’re playing with me like as if i d-don’t have feelings.”

if the scene moments ago hurts them, then this surely broke everything in them. they were silent for a while. reflecting to all the things they’ve done so far to you. yes, they were a little less insolent the other day, but what they did to you probably made you misunderstand it.

jake was the first one to retract, “what? no, sweetheart.” he licks his lips and cares your cheeks gently. he shakes his head continuously.

“we...” he gulps, nervous. he locks his gaze at you and softens, tears brimming his eyes. “i love you.” he blurted out that made you hitch your breath.

that obviously is not what you expected to get from him. specially from jake. he’s the player, always have girls around him. you’ve never heard him say those words to anyone.

your eyes stares right at his desperate ones, trying to search for any traces of mischief over them. but none. sincerity and desperation is all you can see through them.

a warm hand rests at the small of your back then someone rests his forehead at the side of your head. his familiar manly scent invades your nose.

jay’s eyes are tightly closed when you try to glance at him. his jaw clenched hard as his hand bore onto your back.

“i’m sorry if you misunderstood us, baby. that’s not how we want things to escalate.” he mumbles so softly. nuzzling close to you, like as if it will help ease those pain away.

it made you sob. heeseung approaches and his friends gave space for him. he grabs one of your hand and caress it. while staring at your eyes, he placed a gentle kiss on it while the other two boys tries to hugs you. jake’s got his face buries on the crook of your neck, jay remains standing beside you.

“i’m sorry, angel. we...” he couldn’t continue right away. he gulps. “we didn’t know this is how you feel.”

tears streams down your face. continuously. and your chest aches, but this time its for a different reason. you didn’t expect any of these. you imagined them scoffing and laughing at you for actually catching feelings for them. they basically mistreated you.

jake tightens his hug on you, refusing to let go. his warmth envelopes you. jay has his hand placed at the small of your back, caressing it up and down. heeseung has your hand, kissing it from time to time.

the three of them whispered their sorries. they totally feel bad. as your eyes roams around, it caught sunghoon’s.

he’s still standing at his place. didn’t move a step. he’s just there, watching all of this unfold. his heart aches, that’s for sure. he wanted to come close to you too just like how his friends are trying to console you, but his feet are stoned.

he cannot do it. he’s afraid.

out of all of them, he’s the meanest. he says the most hurtful and degrading words towards you. of course, he meant none of them. he’s just caught up in the moment and to the thought of dominating you.

his heart drops at the sight of your tear stained eyes. all those times he’s been rough on you flashes back through his mind like a montage. he hates it. he hates himself.

heeseung whips his head back to look over his shoulder. he can see how sunghoon has his fists balled. how he looked scared. he’s never seen him this way.

“dude.” he calls.

jake lifts his head to look at his friend, jay’s watching too. sunghoon kept silent, his lips shaken.

“h-hoon?” you called him out, now starting to feel worried by how he’s acting.

sunghoon’s eyes stings as it heats up. he knew he’s tearing up, but he won’t let you see him shed tears. not because he’s trying to mask it ouy, but 'cause he knew it will make you even sadder. he’s scared that he will cause more damage.

his eyes met his heeseung hyung and he nods with a small encouraging smile. the four of them grew up together. they’ve known each other their whole life, so he knew why sunghoon’s not approaching.

its not because he’s mad. he’s being careful. and sunghoon’s never been like this towards someone.

sunghoon gulps then take small courageous steps. your eyes watch him carefully, waiting patiently.

when he’s steps away from you, his eyes softens and you saw how his hand trembles when he lifts it to touch you. he backs out, hesitating to lay his hand on you.

“i’m sorry.” he says in a low voice.

it was such a short sentence but the amount of emotion his eyes shows is enought to let you know that he has so many more that he wants to say.

your eyes scanned his face. slowly, you laid your hand out for him. its a way to let him know that its fine and that you allow him to touch you.

his eyes darts at it. he contemplates, but eventually reaches out. your warm hands sent comfort to sunghoon’s cold ones. it gave him life.

“i’m sorry, pretty. w-we’re really sorry.” he mumbles as he buries his face on your neck. his big figure almost covers you up from heeseung’s perspective.

they watch silently. thankful that you’re just too nice to even let them be this close to you. they exchange look to each other and knew they had to do something to make it up to you.

“forgive us, angel. we’ll do better from now on.” heeseung says and rest his big hands on your hip.

you looked at him and kept silent.

honestly, you’ve been thinking of ending it between them. the amount of stress and overthinking you’ve been going through because of them was unhealthy. you promised that after confronting them and if they confirmed that they’re just here for the fun, you’ll bolt out.

but... this is totally a big turn of events.

your lips stretched a little. a subtle gentle smile, but still visible to their eyes are what relieved them.

“okay.”

jake rushes closer and kisses your cheeks multiple times. “really, sweets? thank you! i love you!” he excitedly mumbled between his kisses.

you felt sunghoon’s big strong arms wrapping tightly around your waist.

“thanks, baby. we will try our best.” jay caught your attention when he rest his hand on top of your head, giving it light taps.

the corner of his lips lifts before leaning to kiss you on the lips. “i love you.” he whispers, like he doesn’t want the other boys to hear. like it was only meant for you.

jake steps in, the sulky boy in him coming out. “kiss me on the lips too!” he argues and pouts his plump lips.

jay snorted and swat his arms. you chuckles and lets him lean in for a swift kiss. his eyes sparkling after that smooch.

heeseung’s hands digs on your hip as he leans silently to drop a kiss on your lips. it was soft and lasts for a few seconds. when he pulls away, he remains close and smiles.

“thank you, angel. we’ll be good boyfriends. right?” he says and looks at his friends which they responded with nods.

you blushed, “b-boyfriends?” surprised.

heeseung smirks then nods, “you’re our girl.” he pinches your cheeks lightly. “not some toy.”

sunghoon places a kiss on your neck then pulls away. his eyes bores to you. they glisten affection and relief.

“our pretty girl.” he whispers and dips his head to give you a feathery hot kiss on the lips.

your eyes opens when he pulls away.

“we need to work on our issues in order for this to work. we don’t want another misunderstanding like this.” heeseung announces.

“do you have anything else you don’t like, angel? except from us being total assholes...” he cleared his throat.

your mind wonders. “i d-didn’t like what we did the last time. its o-overwhelming...”

they all looked at you with cute eyes then jay chuckles. “i mean she did passed out that time. her stamina couldn’t handle it.” he says.

heeseung nods, “at least we get to try it once, right?” he smirks, the memories of the night still lingers to his mind.

you blushed and glanced away.

“is that all, angel?”

you look back at heeseung and nodded.

“please stop being aggressive.” you reminded, ears turning red.

they almost cooed at how adorable you looked.

“we promise.” they say almost in unison then approaches for a group hug with you in the middle, making sure they aren’t squishing you too much.

“but we can still do threesome, right?” jake asks innocently that made all of you whip your heads at his direction.

“jake!” they all hissed at him for still being horny despite the wholesome situation that only made you chuckle.

“hi!” you shyly greets when you saw heeseung outside of your house, leaning over his black audi.

its monday morning and you’re beyond surprise to receive a text message from him saying he’ll be picking you up for school. of course you got excited. this will be the first time.

“good morning, beautiful.” he smirks and snakes his arms around your waist to pull you closer.

your cheeks blushed at his words then stomach churns when he leans in for a kiss. it seems so natural. like this is your usual morning routine.

“get in.” he instruct and even open the door for you.

once inside, he swiftly walks around to ride the driver’s seat. then off you go. it was a short drive, but it isn’t awkward. heeseung’s asking questions from time to time to start a conversation while a low music plays on his radio.

the moment his car enters the parking area designated for the students, you saw familiar boys. jay’s leaning over his car while jake and sunghoon bickers about something.

“oh they’re early.” you mumble because usually you arrive first.

heeseung’s always on time since he’s the school’s president. jay and jake arrives at school just on time. sunghoon’s the one always late, unless he have his morning practices.

their heads whips at your direction once they heard the familiar blaring of heeseung’s car. jake turns his back over hoon then waves like an excited puppy. he for sure cannot see you yet as the car is heavily tinted, but it made you smile. he’s so cute.

he’s on your side of the door once heeseung’s done parking it. he waits until the car’s unlocked and then open it for you.

“sweetheart!” he greets happily then hugs you.

heeseung shakes his head while smirking then unclasped your seatbelt for you as you’re busy greeting jake, returning his hug.

jay and sunghoon walks closer as well then hoon went to grab your things from the backseat. he naturally carries it, letting one strap hangs on his arm.

“hey, baby.” jay greets and placed a kiss on your cheek.

“hi jay.”

“i arrived earlier than both of them!” jake interrupts, proudly letting you know how he’s very punctual today.

“wow, that’s great jakey.” you complimented him and his eyes sparkles.

“yeah, right. you’re so childish.” sunghoon commented before leaning towards you for his kiss.

all of you walks on the hallways together. sunghoon and heeseung’s is a few steps ahead while jake’s beside you telling you about his dog. even showing you her cute pictures and bragging how she’s the smartest dog ever. which sunghoon quickly argues that his dog is much better.

jay’s on your other side, silently listening to his friend’s playful banters. he’s very used to it already and slowly, you too.

curious eyes follows the five of you. there’s a hint of surprise and judgment through them. some are whispering, some just stares with mouth slightly gapped and others just don’t care.

honestly, it bothers you. their eyes carefully watching you is making you uneasy. it felt so weird being watched that it makes you wonder how these boys got used to this.

jake’s warm hand envelops yours that caught your attention. he smiles, his red plump lips distracting you.

“don’t mind them, sweets. they’re just jealous.” he whispers, eyes staring straight at yours.

with blushing cheeks, you blinked twice. “w-why? because i’m with you guys?”

he shakes his head and leans closer, his lips grazing your ears that made your stomach drop. “because you’re ours.”

to say that your face turns red is an understatement. your heart races and he just winks then continues talking about other things.

when you arrived at the classroom, they’re all looking curiously. wondering why these boys are acting this way around you. as far as they remember, they used to bully you around. basically why you end up becoming a loner.

“here, pretty.” sunghoon says and placed your things at the side of the chair. you thanked him and he just smiled before walking to his seat.

jay and heeseung did the same but jake remains near you, pouting hardly.

“can’t i move seats?” he complains.

you chuckle and cares his arm, “go to your seat now, jakey.”

he sighs and wants to lean to give a kiss but stops himself. you did talked about them not to do pda in public or at least when around a lot of people. not everyone is open for this kind of relationship, you just don’t want any issues.

“jake, stop being sulky and sit down.” jay calls him then rolls his eyes.

the said boy just raises his fist and showed his middle finger to his friend. you chuckled and just sat down so jake can go to his chair.

eventually, the homeroom teacher walks inside for morning reminders. she mentioned the upcoming fieldtrip which slightly riles you up. you’re excited to go at the museums and such.

during the breaktime, the boys accompanied you. sunghoon and jake to be specific. the other two are busy on student council so its just the three of you.

“what do you want to eat, doll?” sunghoon asks while pulling a chair for you.

jake’s playing with the edge of your hair while watching you carefully.

“anything is fine.”

hoon nods once, “i’ll order for you.”

“thank you, hoon.” with a smile.

he smirks then squeezed your hand before walking off. jake and you sat down at the table.

“did heeseung hyung told you already?” he starts.

“about?”

“he’s taking you out on a date later.” he says casually while doing something to his phone. his forehead narrows, very focus.

“a d-date?”

he hums, answering your question with a short nod. he’s not looking at you, still hooked to his phone. “where?”

he shrugs, “have no idea.”

your heart hammered just by the thought of going on a date with thee lee heeseung. yes, they did said that they’ll make it up to you and that confirmed your relationship with them, but sometimes it still don’t sink in.

they’re your boyfriends...

your eyes caught the glimpse of what jake’s doing and you got distracted. its a picture of you. that was the first time you saw it.

“is that me?”

jake whips his head at you then smiled, “yes! i’m putting you as my wallpaper.” then he clicked something before locking it and opening the screen to show you.

its a candid picture of you. you forgot when it was, but it was obvious that you’re unaware of him taking that photo. you’re focused on something.

“beautiful, isn’t it?” his smug smirk looked adorable. he cocked his eyebrow once, smirking wider. “that’s my girlfriend.”

you blushed even harder. “stop it.”

he chuckled, finding you adorable. instead of stopping, he stared more intensely making you even more flustered.

“j-jake..” and you glance away.

“fine, i’ll stop.” finally, he glances away, his big grin not wiping off.

sunghoon arrives afterwards and the three of you enjoys the time together before going back to your class.

during your vacant, some of your classmates are doing random things inside the room. you find it a waste to just do nothing and remembered about the history assignment.

you stood up and instantly, four heads whips at your direction. when the bell rang and one of the students announced that it was your vacant, they all naturally gathered around you.

“where are you going?” they almost ask at the same time.

“a-at the library.” you answered, shy that all of their attention is now directed at you. its slowly becoming a habit, but that’s something you will never get used to.

“i’ll go with you.” heeseung was quick to stand up and fix his uniform slightly before carding his soft black hair once.

you gulped, “o-okay...” and your eyes dropped at the three boys who remains sitting down.

sunghoon smiles, “see you later, doll. i’m sleepy.” he reasons then leans over his table.

jay just smiled. jake have this pout on his lips. “i really want to co—” his words got interrupted when jay covered his mouth.

“shut up.”

heeseung covers your line of sight from them then flashes this soft smile. “let’s go?” he says and just like being hypnotized by his gaze, you nod your head.

heeseung ushered you to the library, asking what you’re going there for. once informed about the assignment, he said that he’s already finished with his so he’ll just help you.

you can’t help but to be at awe for this man. can he be more perfect? he’s good in everything.

he find you guys a vacant table and asked you to sit down. he said he will look for the book he used and you thanked him. it didn’t took long before you saw him walking back with a handful of books. strangely, he fits this image well.

you’re in complete trance when he walked closer then placed it on the table. he then started pointing the references he used and told you that you can gather information from those articles then summarize it to your own words.

that was plenty for you. considering it will save you time doing this assignment. with a small smile you thank him then proceed on focusing on the task. heeseung sat beside you and watch how your brows draws closer.

his grin grew wider and fingers starting playing through his lower lip. his stares never left you then it slowly trailed down from your brows to your nose and then lips. those damn lips...

he inhaled and licked his lip, cleared his throat in the most silent way.

now, he went here with you with the most genuine intention of helping you. but then his thoughts are starting to wonder into something... inappropriate.

you did said that you only disapprove of them being mean and aggressive, right? being horny is not mentioned. so you probably won’t mind if he fingers you knuckle deep right now.

god, just by thinking of it, heeseung’s already salivating.

besides, its not his fault that you look so innocent and very pretty looking all serious.

he rests his hand on your thigh that made you jolt in surprise. you blinked twice then turns your head at his direction. he’s giving you this lazy look while biting over his lips.

your chest hammered and stomach churns when he started caressing your thighs gently. making sure you can feel his rough palms rubbing against your exposed skin.

“h-heeseung...”

he raised an eyebrow, “yes, angel?” he asks innocently like as if he’s not doing trailing his hands upwards into your inner skirt.

“w-we’re in the library...” and you roam your eyes trying to check if there’s people near enough to get suspicious of what’s going on under the table.

“exactly. go study.” he says with a grin.

“w-what are you doing? they might see—”

“shh, don’t worry. just be a good girl and do your assignment, okay?” and he leans to drop a kiss on the side of your head, ushering you to continue doing your work.

after staring at him for a while and realizing he ain’t going to stop, you decided to just go with it. besides, you can’t hide the arousing feeling that slowly poisoning your whole system. your head starting to get fuzzy, core getting wet as he started to trace the line of your pussy.

you hummed, teeth sunk onto your lower lip in attempt to stop any moans that wants to come out. “ungh,”

he chuckles sexily, “try to be quiet. we’re at the library after-all.” he whispered.

he pulls his hand out then gave it a lick before dipping it back in. “open your legs for me, please.” he demanded in a very soft tone.

you’re already in deep thoughts, unable to even respond properly and just obliged his dirty desires. once he have a better access, heeseung pushes your underwear to touch you bare.

his fingers are hot and rough. feels so good. he started on your clit, rubbing it in a very delicious way.

“fuck, you’re so wet.” he curses, enjoying how your face contorts out of pleasure. pleasure that he’s currently giving you.

“h-hee..” you calls him.

he smirks, loving the way you’re so needy for his fingers.

“all right, i'm going in angel. focus on your assignment.” he stated like as if its even possible to do that. but you tried to pull yourself together. heaved a sigh then looked at the books in front of you. none of the words made sense, but that’s not important.

your mouth slightly gaps as he inserted one finger inside you. the stretch felt so good it makes you want to moan loudly.

“shh.” he reminded, chuckling.

he’s enjoying it. he’s loving it as much as you’re loving being finger fucked.

he didn’t stopped and put another finger. he let it rest inside, trying to take time feeling your tightness around his long fingers. he wants to imagine it to be his dick and he bet it will feel heaven. he shove that thought right away, he needs to focus on you.

“you’re so tight around me, angel.” he whispered huskily. “even after being fucked by all of us, you’re still so fucking tight.” he started talking in nasty way.

the way he say it in a calm tone just hits in a different way. you gulped and breath out, calming yourself.

“p-please.”

he smirks and gave you another kiss on the side of your head. he started moving his fingers that almost sent your soul out of your body. the way his fingers moved in and out in your tight hole just feels perfect.

he continues, slowly catching his pace that just added to your pleasure. one of your hand grips over his thighs, squishing it that he quickly find adorable.

“how i wish its my tongue inside that hole, angel.” he says that he truly means.

you whimpered lowly and tried to keep your eyes open. the words on the book starting to became blurry. it went on for a while until you feel a knot forming on your stomach. a sign that you’re already close.

“heeseung...” you calls out.

he chuckles then rutt his fingers even faster making you whimper softly. you glance at him and he already knew that you’re close. from the way your eyes are half-lidded and teeth digging unto your lips, you are definitely about to release.

he fucks deeper and just a few moments after you came to his fingers, head hanging low and grip over his thighs tightening. you shake lightly that made him chuckle, leaning his head closer to kiss you by the head.

“you did so well.” he complimented then kept on thrusting in and out in a slow pace, helping you ride your high.

once you calmed down, he pulls it out making you wine. he stares at you then shamelessly took his fingers over his lips to suck it. your eyes grew and cheeks blushed hardly.

“heeseung!”

he smirks, “i deserve a reward, don’t you think?” then he winks at you making you lose your mind. he’s going to be the death of you.

“bye baby.” jay smiles and kisses you gently before moving away to give way for sunghoon. he’s already holding his helmet by one of his hand.

“bye, pretty.” he says with a playful grin over you.

you smiled before pouting, “please drive safely.”

his eyes soften after what you said and leans in again for another kiss. “i will, i promise.”

you nodded and a sulking jake came into your view.

“bye sweets.” he says half-heartedly that made you chuckle then insisted for a kiss just to ease his bad mood.

sunghoon rolls his eyes then grabbed his sulking friend by his uniform and drag him out of there. jake complains and started to argue, but jay helped to drag him away.

heeseung sighs and snaked his arm over your waist, “let’s go?”

you glance at him then nod your head once before going to his car. he opened the door like always and guides your inside.

“where are we going?”

he glances, “i’m taking you to our small vacation house by the lake.” he smiles.

you smiled back, “hmm. okay.”

“i called your mom and told her i’ll get you home a little late.”

“you called her?” you’re surprised he even remembered telling it to her.

“yes. i don’t want her to be worried or get you in trouble.” he says while eyes fixed at the road.

you pout your lips and looked at more with so much adoration. that was so sweet of him. you can feel your heart races and butterflies going crazy inside your stomach.

heesueng notices your stares and chuckles, “why?”

you shake your head, “its just you’re so sweet. it makes my heart melt.”

his smile grew wider, totally proud that he made you feel more special.

“anything for you.”

he said it will took a bit time to get there so you guys went to drive thru so he can buy some food you can eat while on the way. while on the way, you naturally fall into conversations, giggling and teasing each other.

it feels so good. heeseung used to be very intimidating for you. his serious demeanor and the way he seems so calm about everything just makes you feel agitated around him. but eventually, he starts to feel warm. like someone you can entrust yourself fully. they all feel that way, honestly. but heeseung’s the most reliable one, you must admit.

when he noticed your eyelids looking heavier, he chuckles and told you that you can sleep for a while.

“but how about you?” feeling a little bad that you’ll leave him driving.

he smiles assuringly, “i’ll be fine, angel.”

and with that you slowly dozed off. he lets you sleep until you’re already pulling over the driveway of their small vacation house. its not particularly small. its actually above average, but maybe for people like him who probably have many vacation houses, this is small for him.

“careful.” he mumbled and quickly reaches for your hand when the rocky path greets you.

the house is very cozy and simple. the clear view of the lake can be seen from the big glass windows. it was beautiful.

“you can go roam around while i set our food inside the fridge.” heeseung says then kisses you at the head before heading to the kitchen.

your eyes wanders around with curiosity and admiration. everything looks expensive. your eyes darted at the table filled with picture frames. with full curiosity, your feet trudges closer.

“wow...” was the first word that came out from your mouth. you can see pictures of their family. his dad and mom. him and his older brother.

“cutie!” you exclaimed when you saw heeseung’s baby picture. he does resembles him that you can tell right away that it was him.

your smiling ear to ear then fished your phone to take a snap of that pic. after getting satisfied with your shots, you slowly head over the small balcony where you can see the lake.

“wow, its so refreshing.” you mumble under your breath then leaned over the railings, letting the wind blow onto you.

you jolted when a pair of arms wrapped over your waist. “enjoying the view?”

“y-yes.”

heeseung kisses your cheeks then place his chin on your shoulder. the two of you admired the view while holding that position. the breeze is kind of cold, but heeseung’s hug kept you warm.

“do you want to walk around for a bit before we start dinner?” he asks then finally pulls away.

your eyes sparkles, “yes!”

he chuckles, finding you adorable then leans down. “give me a kiss first.”

your cheeks blushed then blinked twice. the two of your stares at each other for a while until you decided to give in to his request. a big satisfied smile spread across his handsome face then stand back up.

“let’s go.” and he intertwined your fingers.

looking at the lake in a much nearer distance gave you comfort and peace. you never thought watching the soft currence while holding heeseung’s warm hands can make your heart race.

“do you know when i started liking you?” heeseung breaks the silence.

you craned your neck to glance at him, eyes flashing curiosity. “when?”

he stares at your for a while before chuckling lightly then pinching your cheeks.

“you look adorable, but i have to resist. come on, try to guess.”

his compliment and how he said that using his softest tone soothes something in your heart. it made you blush instantly. despite all of it, you tried to guess like how he requested.

“when you started this thing with me?” that was the first one that came in your mind.

you barely remember any interaction with lee heeseung before all of this.

his brows narrowed, “this thing?” he sighs. “relationship, angel. that’s how you call it properly.” he says using a salty tone.

you chuckled and just nods as acknowledgement. he kept his stares, his eyes returning to being gentle and full of affection. a small genuine smile then appears over his lips.

heeseung’s out of words to describe how precious you are for him. he’s usually good on saying the things he wanted to say, but with you his thoughts are starting to be messed up. there’s just so much he wanted to say yet he don’t know where to start.

“it was on seventh grade.” he stated that made your lips gap.

7th grade? but you’re already on eleventh grade. still surprised, you cannot say anything.

“during that time i experienced my first loss. it may be nothing for a normal high-school kid, but for someone who comes from a perfectionist family who doesn’t accept defeat, it is a pretty big deal.”

instantly, you feel slightly bad. of course, you’ve heard about his family. they are pretty strict when it comes to him. maybe that’s why he’s very reserved because he has no time for failure. they’ve put too much pressure on him.

your free hand extends and travels from his arm towards his neck, up to his face. slowly, he relaxes to your touch.

“i remember feeling so worthless while staring blankly at my silver medal.” he resumes telling you the story.

“while i stare with despair at it, already imagining the disappointed look from my father, someone approaches me.” he stops.

“guess who?” he smirks. “i'll give you a clue.” then smirk grew wider.

“she’s very pretty and currently holding me softly right now.”

“me?” you wonder.

he nods. “you were pretty amazed at my silver medal.” he states, a big smile on his face now.

just the emotion he was showing was enough to tell how delighted he is by reminiscing that moment.

“i was actually annoyed at first because i thought you were mocking me.” he chuckled and you pout jokingly.

“hey, you’re so judgemental.”

he shrugs his shoulders. “can’t blame me, angel. i was still very introverted that time.”

“you’re still a little introvert now.”

he cocked his eyebrow and you did the same thing, staring back. that made him chuckle.

“okay, maybe you’re right.” he surrenders then drop a kiss on your forehead.

“and then what happened?” you curiously asked.

he smiled. “then i told you harshly that what’s so great for second place?” he continued.

you grow silent then tries hard to recall the memory.

“and then you said,” you glanced at him, eyes starting to water a bit.

“that there’s nothing wrong with being second place. that it doesn’t mean that you failed or you didn’t won. that instead of being sad, you should take it as a chance to become better. that it only means you still have a room to grow.” you finished it that made him smile.

“right...”

“hee...” eyes brimming with tears already. “that was years ago.” you stated, couldn’t believe that he started to get interested that time.

his eyes dropped at your intertwined hand and he raised it to gently place a kiss on top of it.

“hee...” you mumbled again, this time voice cracking a little.

he smiles, “sorry if we approached you the wrong way. we just really don’t know what to do.” his eyes sparkles, getting a bit teary as well.

“i-it’s okay... i didn’t know.”

he chuckles, “obviously. you’re too dense to notice.”

“hey!” you playfully shoot him glares that he just laughed at before leaning in to give you a kiss.

the two of you stared at each other affectionately, enough to communicate what your hearts wants to tell one another.

“i know that with all the responsibilities and the expectation from your parents, it felt heavy. like you feel that you can’t be flawed.” you started.

“but for me you’re just perfect the way you are. with your achievements and failures.” those words tugs his heartstrings, a tear escaping his eye.

the moment you two steps inside the vacation house, heeseung’s lips are attached to you. his kisses are gentle yet passionate. his hands holds you closely to his hot body.

his kisses moves from your lips, down to your chin then neck making sure to suck on your skin making you moan, fingers tangled on his hair.

he slid his arm over your legs then carries you towards the bedroom. he went back to your lips and kisses you once again.

he gently placed you on the bed hovering above you, his hand starting to remove your clothes. and you let him.

when he pulls away, you try to even chase him that made him chuckle.

“wait, angel. i’ll just remove my clothes.”

your eyes trailed down his now erect member.

“d-do you want me to...?”

he smiles then shakes his head, “no. today, its just about you.”

then he kisses you again, resuming on discarding every clothing that you still have on you. once fully unclothed, he positions himself in front of you. he started rubbing his head on your now wet core.

your brows narrowed and whimpers sexily.

“i’ll go in now, okay?” he glanced at you and a nod is all you gave him.

and while your eyes staring back at each other, heeseung pushes his dick inside. the stretch feels so good, his thick cock making you moan his name. it made him satisfied, hearing you getting comfortable on letting out your moans.

“that’s right, let me hear you.” he whispered then pinned your hand on the sides, intertwining his fingers to yours.

he lets you get more comfortable with having him inside and connects his lips on yours again, couldn’t get enough of your lips. his tongue pushes in, wanting to taste every insides of your mouth.

when he started to move, your head starts to get blank. nothing inside but the man above you and making you feel this good.

he slides in and out. starting with a slow pace then going faster. he thrusts deep and fast sending so much pleasure.

“heeseung...” you moaned after his lips moves away.

“i love you, angel.” he suddenly said that made your heart jumped. you didn’t have the chance to say anything as he leans in for a peck.

“i love you so damn much.” and then start thrusting even faster.

“i...” you pursed your lips, eyes shuts as the pleasure from his dick takes away your ability to think and speak properly.

“i..” you attempted again, opening your eyes so you can look at his pretty face.

“love you too...” you finally finished it.

heeseung’s heart thumped faster and he fucked you even harder. he smiles and leans in for another heated kiss. he loves and adore you.

he continues drilling his cock inside until he felt you tightening around him, indicating the approaching release. he kisses your chin.

“cumming for me, angel?”

you open your mouth, “yes. feel so good.”

he smirks, “i know. pussy so good for me.” and then he rut his cock deeper.

“i’m cumming too..” he announces, feeling the knot on his stomach.

“cum with me.” he orders then attach his lips before going rapidly.

not long after you came around heeseung then he filled you with his hot cum. he pulls away to look at your fucked out face, brushing off some hair. he smiles.

“i love you.” he whispers, still going in and out but in a slower pace. riding both your highs.

you opened your eyes and reaches for his face. this time, you lift your head to give him a sweet kiss with a smile on your face. then you laid back down, staring lovingly at him.

his thrust starts to go faster again and a playful smirk spreads across his handsome face, some of his hairs sticks on his forehead due to sweat.

“round two, angel.” and then you let out a whimper from both pleasure and overstimulation.

the two of you spent the rest of the time just going for each other. heeseung making sure you felt how special you are for him.

lee heeseung is scared of failing. always aiming to be the best and to be perfect. he’s too obsessed on pleasing his parents to the point that he almost lose himself. but with you, he felt at ease. he felt safe and confident knowing that despite all his flaws and just being his true self, he’s still admirable.

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‘This is my cousin.’ Sunoo had introduced you with his usual charming smile, motioning to his friends that responded with their names one by one.

‘A girl.’ Jake mumbled, nudging Heeseung’s side.

‘I didn’t think she’d actually want to come after I told her that all of you guys were joining me, but we always hang out during summer since she lives kind of far. You guys don’t mind right?’ 

‘As long as she doesn’t care, I don’t see anything wrong with having her around.’ Jungwon said with his thumbs held up, nodding hard enough for his hair to bounce around.

Yeah. What’s the big deal? Sure, you’re pretty, maybe even one of the prettiest girls Heeseung’s ever seen before. And yeah, you smell great, wafting your scent around each time you flip your hair away from your shoulders. Not to add on that he also noticed how you only seem to look away when you find him staring at you. 

Jake easily started joking around with you, even including you in on some of their legendary inside jokes right away. Jay, he’s always helpful and cool, cutting up fruit for you and checking to see if you need more snacks or something to drink. Even Sunghoon, who’s usually awkward around girls, got close to you after a night of a heated Monopoly game while the power went out. 

Heeseung should have asked if he could join too, desperately racking his brain for how he could break the ice and get to know you better. It shouldn’t be this hard, right? Except it is, because his mouth gets more dry when you’re around. His bottom lip grows raw from biting down on it, his nails get bitten down to raw skin until they even bleed sometimes. He’s a mess in your presence and can’t even figure out why. Surely it has nothing to do with how his chest pinches and pounds faster the second you enter his proximity.

The last time he felt this way was probably junior high when he had a crush— wait no, that wouldn’t make sense. He doesn’t have a crush or anything like that, no way.

Not that his dickhead friends would agree as they laughed and wiggled their eyebrows at him insisting they play spin the bottle.

‘Come on, we’ll make it interesting, the bottle lands on you and you have to choose truth or dare. We’re kind of an uneven number to be playing tonsil hockey right now anyways.’ 

Jay smirked, dragging his tongue across his lips. ‘You got nothing to hide anyway, Hee.’

Great. Fucking pricks. They wouldn’t ask him something about you if he chooses dare. That would be so fucked up, but also- that does not explain why Jake winked at him, and why Sunghoon kept nudging into his side. How the hell can they tell? Has he been too obvious?

‘Oh Hee, it’s your lucky day!’

The tip of the emptied glass bottle unceremoniously comes to a halt directly pointed at his figure. He sighs, head dropping back as he shakes it back and forth to avoid your curious gaze from across the circle you’ve all ended up in.

It’s still as clear as if it happened just yesterday, and he fucking hates it. Hates that he can still remember the look of disgust forever ruining your pretty face. The loud obnoxious ‘eww!’ You shrieked as his friends bursted out laughing around him after he admitted to finding you cute.

It should have been harmless. He should have fucking gone for a dare, anything better than the rush of embarrassment that sped up to his cheeks and rapidly lit them up to a mortifying shade of red.

God, what was he thinking? Why the hell did he even answer Jake’s stupid question honestly!

‘No bullshit alright dude, you into her?’ He smirked, nodding your direction. A look of fear and worry scattered all over your face as he peered back and forth between the two of you.

‘I mean, yeah sure. She’s cute.’

It was innocent, and maybe he had expected—hoped for a better reaction. What would it hurt to imagine you’d reciprocate his feelings? God, it was so dumb, his biggest regret for the last 7 years; even worse than the first time he got drunk and threw up all over himself. Albeit, the photos to remind him of his actions the next day didn’t help, he’s never been able to forget your face. Your disgusted repulsed face that he’s only ever seen once, when he fucking called you cute.

Not to mention the way you avoided him after as if he had leprosy, too grossed out to even accept the dishes he set down in front of you for lunch the next day.

Flat out cruel and mean for no reason, making it very clear to him that you wanted nothing to do with him.

Fine. 

If that’s the way you want to spend your summer vacation together, then he’d make sure to give you a real reason to hate him.

It started with smearing nutella on your swimsuits that were hanging out to dry. Then purposely aiming the ball at your head during the pool game of volleyball you had the next day, not even apologizing as he smiled and shrugged. 

‘Not my fault this bimbo can’t see.’

That must have really hit a nerve, sporting a frown throughout the rest of the game until you gave up and refused to continue playing after he accidentally punted the ball right at your face. 

Any time he had the chance to grill or cook, he always made sure to make your plate of food extra crispy, real charred. 

‘I thought that’s how you liked it, burnt to a crisp.’ He’d smile proudly, scraping a knife down the blackened hotdog he set down for you.

Of course it was childish, he was fucking fifteen years old and you bruised his ego to hell and back as far as he was concerned. Had him pulling at his face in the mirror before bed, tussling his hair, double checking the scent of his body after showering, analyzing his clothes and lack of muscle. 

You didn’t have to act like he was the most repulsive boy to ever walk the earth! And the reality is, it hurt.

It hurt so bad, he had to shake off the moisture forming behind his eyes after heading to his bedroom, unable to turn off the repeated cry of disgust you let out after all he said is that you’re cute. 

Really, as much as he hates to say it- you’re a real bitch.

Heeseung’s mother would be appalled if she could hear his thoughts when it comes to you. He was raised to be polite, only to respect women. But you, something about you seriously pisses him the fuck off.

It’s not because he likes you. Even his friends were convinced after those first two weeks that you two hated each other, because of course you decided to retaliate. Cutting holes into his swim trunks, pouring itching powder all over his bed, filling his sunscreen bottle up with hair removal cream that left painful welts on his skin after rubbing it in like lotion and laying in the sun. 

You. You’re seriously such a bitch, he can’t stand it. Can’t control how his rage rises to a boiling point the second he even catches a glimpse of you. You’re quite possibly the most fucking annoying girl he’s ever met, maybe the only girl that has ever annoyed him this much.

And yet his eyes still scan the room for your presence as he steps inside of the house he’s spent the last 7 summers at. The same room he gave you a kiss in. Right in front of everyone, your cousin, his friends. The night he revisits in his memories time and time again that he can’t move on from. 

It was all Jungwon’s fault.

‘Fine.’ Jungwon smirks mischievously, rubbing his hands together. ‘We’re too old for childish games.’

‘Finally.’ Heeseung adds, still pouring salt on his wounds from the time he got stuck inside of a closet with you for seven minutes.

‘I said childish games, not games in general, and there is one we’ve yet to play.’

‘Here we go.’ Jay grunts, motioning toward his friend and rolling his eyes. He’s been chatting up some of the girls they met at the beach earlier for the last couple of hours. Refilling their cups and flexing his bare arms to entice them. ‘Come on Won, you always want to play these stupid games.’

’Well, are you too chicken?‘ Jungwon’s grin grows larger, raising his eyebrows. 

Are you too chicken? He repeated deviously, eyeing everyone around the room. They all refuted his suspicions, turning the question around on him until he agreed to go first and was dared to break Jay’s cool demeanor

The room erupted with hoots and hollers as he plopped his ass down on the olders lap and Jay stuttered, eyebrows furrowed together, teeth clenched to hold back a curse.

‘Won, get the fuck off of me.’

‘Do you give up?’ 

‘Fuck off.’

Jay choked on his spit, coughing and shoving the younger away once their lips grazed together. Sitting up without falter, Jungwon raised his arms triumphantly. ‘And that is how you play chicken.’

Another stupid game, only now drinks are involved, sipping on tepid beer as he watches Jake and Jay lock lips before both losing at the same time. Dramatically spitting and swiping at their mouths as they kick at each other.

‘YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO KISS ME BACK ASSHOLE!’

Embarrassment covered their faces as the girls surrounding giggled and cooed, letting them know they looked so cute kissing.

‘Fine fine! We start over from whoever hasn’t spun the bottle yet.’ Sunoo interrupts the ruckus, pointing toward Heeseung. ‘Your turn.’

‘Not playing.’

‘And why is that?’ Jungwon asks with an arched up eyebrow. ‘Scared?’

‘We know why..’ Sunghoon mumbles by his side, earning a round of snorts and hushed laughs from his friends.

They know exactly how to get under his skin, how to force his hand to grab onto the stupid bottle. Gripping the body of the emptied glass hard enough to feel the sticky residue left behind from the label that was peeled off. He gulps, refusing to glance around, not wanting to risk the chance of meeting your gaze.

There’s no way he can actually be so unlucky, not twice. The bottle will land on one of his friends, one of the girls they picked up. It won’t land on you, not again. Fate can’t be that cruel.

As he watches the bottle slow down, he swallows hard, eyes falling shut right as it comes to a stop. Confirming that fate must be controlled by a monster. 

‘The two people who hate each other.’ Jake laughs out loud, clasping his hands together. ‘This should be good.’

smut warnings. sloppy hand job/oral, unprotected vaginal sex/anal penetration, degradation/praise, switch Jake, dom Jay, public indecency, a lot of sweat, creampies💕

————————————

Why’d Jay even ask Jake to come over? To make him suffer in this heat? To ignore him while he splashes around in the pool with you? 

He’s been sitting here watching the two of you swim around wrapped in each other’s arms for 30 minutes now, squinting under the blaring sunlight as sweat gathers along his forehead. He could jump in, cannonball his ass in right next to the two of you and ruin your grotesque public displays of affection. If you can even deem shoving your tongues down each other’s throats as affection.

One could say he’s jealous(he is). It’s not everyday your two best friends decide to take their relationship further and start dating. Fuck, if he had known.. he would have gone for you first. Jake’s always liked you, how could he not? You’re his best friend, you comfort him when he’s sad, you make him laugh. Hands down you’re the person he needs most whenever he feels uncomfortable, you always know exactly what to say to calm his anxiety. 

He knew Jay liked you, but he never thought he’d actually have the balls to ask you out. It doesn’t matter, because Jake knows that he likes you more, he wants you more than Jay possibly ever could. Between the summer heat and his frustration, all he can imagine right now is the hundreds of ways to destroy your relationship. Why’d it have to be Jay..

Why did it have to be the one guy on this fucking planet that he’d kill for? Sometimes he’s not even sure who he’s more jealous of when he third wheels with the two of you. Jay treats you way too good for him to really hate on. He’s a good guy, and as much as Jake would do anything to make you happy, he knows that Jay would too.

“Jake!”

“Earth to Jake!”

“Jake, are you sleeping with your eyes open again?”

Huh? Oh. Blinking rapidly, he looks up to find you glaring at him with a look of confusion. The bikini you had on now covered up by a crotchet dress and shorts. 

“What?” He blurts out dazedly, swallowing as he seals his lips together. This heat really is getting to him..

“What’s up with you?” You squint, reaching out to feel his forehead. “You’re not getting sick, right?”

“No no, I’m fine, been sitting in the sun too long.”

“Well good.” You nod, displaying a conniving smile. “Because I have the perfect plan to get you up.”

“What?”

“Laundry mat.”

“What?” He repeats, even more confused. Slowly dragging his gaze down your body to where your hand has been holding onto a cart full of blankets and clothes. “Laundry?”

“Yes!” You say cheerfully, hopping onto your toes. “Let’s get going before it gets too late.”

“Uh,” he chuckles, running a hand through his sweaty nape. “I should get going, it’s too hot to be outside.”

“Jakeeee.”

“I don’t want to do laundry..”

“Don’t be like this!” You stomp, letting out an annoyed huff. “I need help!”

“No.” He snickers, head shaking.

“Come onnnn,” you go on whining, popping your hip out along with one of your best pouts that always breaks his resilience. “I have to get these sheets washed today, they’re soaking wet after last night.”

“Oh yeah?” He questions with a lifted eyebrow, standing up to eye the wagon stacked to the brim full of your bedding. “Exactly what were you up to?”

“Pftt, don’t be a perv.” You snort, bumping against his side and nestling in closer. “The air conditioner crapped out on me late yesterday and maintenance can’t make it until later today. My room feels like an oven thanks to this summer heat.”

“Can’t believe you got me out of my igloo of an apartment to be your laundry lacky. Why can’t Jay help you?”

“He’s gonna try to fix my AC unit since maintenance isn’t coming until later. Come on, pleaseee.” You continue to pester him, scratching down his arm lightly. “Besides, we haven’t hung out just the two of us alone in awhile. I miss my best friend.”

Really? Could have fooled him with your tongue down Jay’s throat every damn day..

“You’re the worst at trying to manipulate, you know that right?”

“But it’s working.” You smile proudly, nodding toward your cart of dirty laundry. “Come on. It’s just down the street.”

Jake grunts, rolling his eyes when you motion for him to take a hold of the cart.

“This thing weighs like 30 pounds! What are you going to carry?!”

“The dryer sheets!” You smirk, waving around the box of scented laundry sheets. “And coins for the machines of course.”

“This is bull, I should be charging you for this.”

“Pfttt, I should be charging you for coming over to use my pool.”

“It’s not your pool.” He scoffs, exiting your apartment complex to follow you out to the street. “Not even worth coming over for, none of your neighbors are hot.”

“You used to love coming over to swim.”

Yeah. Before you started dating Jay. Back when you’d shamelessly flirt with both of them, playing games and pranks that led to your bikini top floating across the pool. That was fun.

“Don’t you miss it?” Curling up to his free arm, you wrap around him, slowly walking side by side toward the laundry mat. “Last summer?”

Last summer.

Yeah. He does miss last summer, mostly your last Birthday.. 

Jay had passed out on your couch after a long day at the beach leaving the two of you to your own devices. 

‘I wanna swim some more.’ You said mischievously, dragging him out to the now empty pool area. It was too late, not even sure if you were allowed to use the pool at this hour. You tiptoed your way in together, floating around chatting about the movie you had just watched. 

‘I hate movies like that. The love triangle trope, it’s so overdone.’

‘I mean..’ Jake laughed, swimming around you. ‘She had to pick..’

‘No she didn’t. They both wanted her.’

‘Well yeah.. that’s why she had to pick.’

‘Why choose? Why can’t she have both?’

Jake paused, lifting an eyebrow at you. ‘Because that’s greedy.’

‘And? Why shouldn’t I be greedy?’

‘Huh?’

‘If I was in her situation.. I just think if they both want me, I should be able to have them both.’

‘That’s not..’

‘Why not?’

‘Because, feelings!’ He shrieked, smacking the water. ‘You can’t just.. expect two guys to treat you like some queen and worship you without regard to their own feelings.’

‘Maybe I’m greedy.’ You shrugged, cocking an eyebrow at him. ‘Would you still give me what I want?’

‘..what do you want?’

Jake had fallen asleep with the fattest smile on his face after you splashed him with water and sunk down under, popping him behind him with your palms covering his eyelids.

‘You. I want you.’

It was good to kiss you, to grip your hips and wrap your legs around his waist. So so good, to feel your body warmth so close to him, to taste your spit left behind on his lips. 

He should have stayed up, should have followed you to your bedroom and taken the night further with more than just a kiss. Should have, could have, and would have, then he wouldn’t have woken up in a hopeful daze. Stumbling into the kitchen to discover you and Jay wrapped up together smiling ear to ear.

‘Jay asked me to be his girlfriend.’

‘What the fuck.’

Yeah. He remembers last summer. In fact, he hasn’t once stopped thinking about it.

“Summer’s just starting..” he says, clearing his throat to shove aside those floods of memories. “We still have a couple of months to make this one even better..”

“You’re right.” You grin, nodding toward the laundry mat. “We’re here!”

“Great.” He rolls his eyes, following you inside. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Yeah, no air conditioning in here.” 

Not even properly functioning ceiling fans. The entire building feels worse than outside. So stuffy and hot, instantly sweltering his skin, gathering a thick line of sweat at his hairline. “Fuck, I can’t believe you dragged me here.”

“Technically, you dragged yourself.” You wink, leading him to the larger washers for your blankets. “I think you just love me that much.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Hopping onto one of the machines, his legs swing, shaking his shirt as he gets comfortable sitting. “This has to be what hell feels like.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” You point up toward the ceiling. “There’s a little breeze coming from these ancient fans.”

Jake squints up, cursing under his breath as sweat rolls down his throat and begins to dampen his shirt to his skin. “Should be illegal to operate a business like this without air conditioning.”

“Well, in case you haven’t noticed.. no one else is in here other than us.”

No, only someone insane and masochistic would put themselves through this heat. He’d rather buy new clothes than do laundry if it means enduring this. 

“Alright, maybe you’re not that dramatic.” You sigh, pausing after adding another blanket to the washing machine. “This is a lot harder to do in this heat..”

If Jay was here he’d crack a joke about the amount of sweat that’s soaked through his boxers. Squirming on the dryer he's on top of, he looks back at you just in time to see your arms lifting to pull off the crochet swimsuit cover you have on. “I should wash all of this too, I’ve sweated through it all. Give me your shirt.”

“What?”

“I have to wash this bikini.” 

“Why do you want my shi—“

Oh fuck. That’s why.

Shimmying out of your shorts, you waste no time to reach up and untie your top. Likely much faster than the slow motion visual before his eyes. Sweat trickles between your breasts, slowly bouncing as you release the bikini strings and shake your soaked hair away from your face, slowly fanning yourself with your hand.

“Fuck, it’s hot.”

“So hot.” Jake mutters, struggling to swallow as your hands slide down your sides to grab the bikini strings at your hips. “So so so hot.”

“Jake!” You laugh, snapping him out of his live action wet dream by hurling your bikini top at his face. “You perv, give me your shirt.”

“Oh uh, but it’s really sweaty..”

“I can’t walk around here naked.”

Yes. Yes you can.

He gulps, laughing nervously before hopping off of the dryer to peel off his heavy drenched shirt. “Sorry if it smells..”

“It smells like you.” You smile, pulling on the wet shirt that clings to your shoulders. Standing with your thighs apart for your bottoms to fall to the floor. “My favorite smell.”

Eyeing your bikini bottoms before you snatch them up and add them to the pile inside of the washer, he pockets his hands. Gripping at the material stuck to his upper thighs. “Hah.. probably smells gross right now though..”

“Not at all,” you bend down, the hem of his shirt teasingly floating at the tops of your thighs. Any inch higher and he’d be able to see everything, every precious gorgeous part of you. “You always smell good.”

Slamming the washer shut, you let out a deep breath and start the machine. “Finally!”

“Only 30 minutes, that’s fast for such a huge load..”

“Yeah? Would you be able to go longer?” You ask cheekily, peering over your shoulder at him with a flirty grin. Fuck, that’s something he hasn’t seen in awhile..

“Wh-what?” He stutters, unable to decipher if this is actually happening or he’s having a heat stroke. It’s too fucking hot in here, his boxers have melted to his skin, the rubber from his sneakers glued to the ground. 

“Oh my God Jakey! Have you been working out??” Turning around, you reach for his biceps. Hands gripping around each one. “Wow, look at those abs..”

Definitely a heat stroke.

“Hah—ah no more than usual.” He hasn’t been working out at all for the last couple of weeks. The only muscle built up in his arms coming from jerking off until his cock is ready to fall off for the past five days. “You know, my nightly crunches.”

The ones he’s been trading in to spiral in bed edging himself for hours. Maybe replaying that kiss in the pool last summer. He’s definitely had some fantasy of you naked in nothing but one of his shirts exactly like this too.

“I’m impressed.” You ooo and ahh, swiping the tip of your index finger between the lines of muscle etched on his stomach. “Always liked your abs, so sexy.”

This has to be a dream, he chuckles, only to ignore how much his stomach twitches and trembles under your touch. “We should work out together, I can show you my best ab exercises..”

“We should.” You agree with a more serious tone, dipping into his bellybutton.

“Ah, don’t.” He curls in, gripping your wrist. 

“Is that one of your spots?”

“Spots?”

“You know, like an erogenous zone?”

“What’s that.”

“You know,” stepping closer to him, you trace around his navel, slowly scratching a nail down the faint line of hair beneath it. “An area that turns you on when it gets touched.”

“Oh.”

“The way you reacted..” biting down on your lip, you do it again. Prodding at his bellybutton. A moan slips from his extra pink lips, flushed with more color than usual as nothing but heat surrounds the both of you. “I think you like it when I touch you there.”

“Uh..”

A loud buzz startles you, jumping up and gasping as the washer goes off. 30 minutes went by fast. Too fast.

“That’s the good thing about these laundry mats. These gigantic machines work fast at least.”

“Yeah..” he gets distracted watching you stand and bend over and over again as you switch your clean clothes over to a dryer. “By the way, I can definitely go longer than 30 minutes..”

“Oh yeah?” You smirk, slamming the dryer closed. “Jerking off doesn’t count.”

Shit.

Jake shrugs, hopping back on to sit on one of the dryers. “Well, if it did, I doubt anyone can match my streak.”

“How long can you go?” Turning around, you grab onto his thighs, pulling yourself to stand between. Head tilted to one side curiously. 

“Hours.” He nods, licking at his lips. The sweat pooling at his Cupid’s bow adding a hint of saltiness. “7 at least..”

“See, that’s just not realistic.”

“Why not?”

“You can’t fuck me for 7 hours.”

“Why not?” Jake’s mouth slams shut, breaking eye contact with you before he can see the way your gaze lights up. Pressing in, you go back to playing with his navel. 

“You can’t fuck my pussy for 7 hours.”

“Why—“

“You have to give her a break baby, I have other holes for a reason.”

Fuck. 

His mouth hangs open, gaze wavering over your expression trying to figure out what you’re up to. You can’t seriously be talking to him like this only because Jay’s not around..

“Yeah? Show me.”

He shouldn’t be this bold, but then again, he’s still trying to convince himself that this isn’t actually happening. He’s probably passed out by the pool, drenched in sweat while you still play tonsil hockey with Jay completely oblivious to his existence.

BUZZ!

“That was fast.” You push away from him with a pleased smile. Further taunting him with an extra sway to your hips as you begin to empty out the machine. “God, I’m sweating everywhere.”

The heat from the dryer fills up the already congested room even more, making the air humid and blurry. Jake grunts in response, smoothing the sweat off his stomach to form a puddle at the crotch of his shorts. “Yeah, I need a long shower after this.”

“You can wash up at my place when we head back.”

“All done?” He asks, nibbling at his bottom lip. Despite how hot it is in here- he’s not ready to leave just yet. You’re right, it’s been too long now since the two of you spent this much time alone. He should ask how things are going with you and Jay, maybe start a conversation about your plans after summer. If you’re going to pick up a new part time job while you’re in school. But right now the only topic he can wrap his head around is on your other holes.

What the fuck did you mean by that. Scratch that, he knows exactly what you meant.

“So uhh.. anything else left to wash?”

“All done! Let me get these sheets folded up and then we can head back.”

Damnit. He needs to figure something out, quickly.

“What about my shirt?”

“Oh, right.” Holding your arms open to look at the material clinging to your body like a second skin, you glance back at him. “I’m all wet.”

“And you have nothing on under that.”

“I can wash it for you later, if you don’t mind?”

“What am I going to wear home?”

“Fine fine,” grumbling at him, you dig through the pile of folded up clean laundry. “Wait? Where’s my top?” You frown, frantically sorting through your things. “Can you check the dryer for me? I don’t think I would have missed it..”

Jake nods, bending over to get a better look inside of the machine, still hot from use. “Shit I think the dryer ate your bathing suit..”

“What! No!!”

“The strings are.. stuck between the paddles.” He coughs, lowering down onto his knees to get his head inside. “Don’t think it’s even salvageable at this point.”

“Jake please! This bikini was so expensive.” You whine from behind him. Squatting down to lean over on his back and try to get a look yourself. “I can’t see, please try to get it for me!”

Letting out an exasperated groan, he inches in deeper. Sweat profusely running down his face now with his upper half fully inside of the dryer. The shit he does for you..

“I’ll try my best.” 

“You got this.” You echoe from behind, grabbing onto his hips with a firm squeeze. “You’re my good boy.”

Jake’s heart hammers rapidly at your praise, lips pulled tightly over his teeth to not groan when you fully press against his backside.

“Your back muscles look so good Jakey.” 

Fuck. How can he concentrate with you complimenting him like this? The weight of your body bending over on top of his adding to the fuel of arousal building up in his gut. He tries to ignore it and continue working out removing the knot your bikini strap formed around one of the paddles. It’s harder than it looks with such a small amount of space to accommodate his arms and shoulders. Suffocated from his body heat and the warm metal digging into his chest, he groans and lays flat to catch his breath. “It’s too hard.”

“You’re doing so good, baby, come on.” Another hard squeeze digs into his hips, adding more force to raise his slumped thighs up straight. The arch in his back sinks in, alerting all of his senses as your thumbs press against the dimples along his lower back. “The only thing that should be too hard for you is that dick.”

Jerking up, the top of his head slams against the dryer. Groaning and fumbling with the bikini triangle between his fingers. “What—uh..”

The sound of his belt buckle clinking open nearly makes his eyes go crossed, neck arching up as you push the wadded up drenched material of his shorts and boxers down past his thighs at the same time. It’s all too real, how hot your upper thighs feel pressed against the backs of his. Hitting his head against the dryer again as a knee-jerk reaction has him attempting to turn around to make sure this is actually happening.

“You’re so hard.” You say quietly from behind him, palms grazing down the sides of his torso to his pelvis. “Because of me?”

“No— that’s, I’m—“ he stutters, breathing raggedly. Mortified and so fucking unimaginably aroused by your soft hand wrapping around his length. A choked garbled sound rushes from his throat. Weakly shaking his head to tell you to stop, but you can’t see. Can’t see how his features crumble and eyes water up to hold in tears. You can’t do this, he should be the one getting you off.

“D-don’t please..”

“Shh, I want to.” You reassure, circling both of your hands onto his length. Coating your fingers with the pre-cum covering the tip of his cock. “You’re so hard, must hurt so much.”

Hurts. Hurts so fucking much. The veins lining his cock thrum in tandem with the ones beating out angrily along his forehead. He can practically taste the sweat on your palm at the back of his tongue. Using all of his willpower to not thrust against your hand as you begin to jerk him off so sloppily. Treating his cock like your play thing to use whenever you get bored.

“Feel good baby? You feel so good in my hand, want you inside of me so bad.” Fuckfuckfuck, you can’t say shit like that to him! He’s already forgetting how to breathe, how to hold himself up. You probably think he’s so weak, so helpless and disgusting. Whining like nothing but a useless whore from the mere touch of you. Flames burn through his skin, rudy and raw on his cheeks. Throat on fire as a scream rips free and his stomach clenches painfully to not cum right then and there.

“Please, that’s! I’m—I’m going to—!”

Cooing lovingly behind him, you adjust to jerking him with one hand, shifting down to massage his exposed sack with your other.

“Nonono!” 

“Come on Jakey, cum for me baby.” The rough motion of your hand works in contrast to the smoothness lining your palm. Sweat and pre-cum gliding your aggressive touch up and down his size better than his own ever possibly could. His thighs tremble, back arched in, pulling at the bikini material in his grasp hard enough to hear a tear of lycra rip out around him. Fuck your stupid flimsy bikini top, trapping him in here, making his arms go numb as his brain follows and he bites down on his plump bottom lip.

“Give it to me Jake, I want it!” The wet sound of slurping reaches his ears before he realizes it’s coming from your tongue dragging down the underlining of his sack. Knocking his knees to the ground painfully as his feet kick out and toes convulse.

“Shit! Ahh!”

It’s too nasty, he’s too sweaty for your pretty mouth to be doing this right now. To bounce his balls against your tongue and savor the raw taste of him so greedily. How disgusting can you be? So shameless, sucking the wrinkly skin between your lips, audibly making a show of slurping and swallowing the salty sweat dripping down your throat. He can’t control the embarrassingly loud moan that booms out around him, amplified by the metal dryer. “That’s—don’t!”

“You like it.” You state without question, shaking his thick cock like a toy. Clenching his stomach as he tries to hold his release and not make a mess all over your hand. “Sound so pretty when you moan.”

Jake’s always been pitchy and whiny but hearing him like this could become addictive. Moaning through the saliva filling up his throat, all garbled and desperate. Still deep and manly even when he hits high pitches and breaths outs through his nose practically wheezing. 

“Please please, have to—stop!” He doesn’t want to think about it, how easily you’ve gotten him to this point. So out of his body and mind that the only sensible thought he can coin up is to not shoot his load into your palm. “Stopstop!”

“Give it to me.” You demand, pursing your lips together to shoot a wad of spit directly at his rim. Setting his spine ramrod straight as his head hits the inside of the dryer once more. Too dizzy to even comprehend how hard he hit the metal blades, he slumps and convulses in place. Mouth hung open, head tossed back, chest pounding.

A hot wave far too different from one of nature melts down his limbs. Eyes shooting open only to see nothing ahead, black and white clouding his mind right as your thumb rolls across the slit of his cockhead to encourage the first spurt of cum to rip free. 

Humiliation fills his lungs as hot steamy white ropes shoot out and hit your fingers and palm, thickening up the stroke you keep giving him. Cumming so easily from a few touches alone after bragging about edging himself for hours. He can’t stand it, wants more of it, wants you to drag him around by his hair and slap his face with his own release. Tell him how useless he is for boasting and lying to you.

“That’s it baby.. that’s it.” 

Fuck. He can’t even deny how good it is to hear your soft praises. Tension immediately lifts from his body, the strain in his shoulders dissipating as he relaxes against the dryer. He needs more, needs to sink down to his knees and eat you out for hours while you coo at him and mock him. He needs you.

“I can’t leave your ass alone for one minute.” The sound of Jay’s familiar deep tone awakens him from the orgasm still rolling through his body in thunderous waves. That can’t be Jay.. why would be here?

“You’re late.” You say with a clear smile in your voice. “Missed you.”

“I see that.” He says sarcastically, nodding to the mess of cum still clinging between your fingers. “Now, explain to me why he’s hanging bare ass out of that dryer.”

“He’s trying to get my bikini out of there..”

“Sounds like a lie.” Shooing you aside, Jay lowers himself to squat behind his friend. A displeased tight lip displayed on his face. “You’re really going to make me pull your naked ass out of there?”

“Can you? My arm got cramped up in here..”

Jay scoffs, wrapping around his torso from behind to firmly haul his body free. Quickly rolling off of him with a sneer. “All that and still no bikini top.”

“You owe me a new one.” You motion toward Jake, standing up with his shirt still on. “Or.. you can make it up to me another way.”

Jake peers up anxiously, wondering how the hell he ended up with his bare ass on the floor of this old laundry mat. 

“So greedy.” Jay glares at you, reaching to grab your chin. “Can’t ever be satisfied with just one.”

“Pleaseee, you said we could ask him to join..”

“What’s.. join what?”

“Jakey, you know that I like you.” Moving down to straddle his thighs, you wrap around his shoulders. “I know that you like me.”

“Here we go again.” Jay huffs, eyeing the cart of washed linens. “I thought you were going to wash your summer clothes? What’s this?”

“I made a mess last night. After the AC broke, I couldn’t sleep. Kept thinking about both of you stuffing me full.”

“Or,” unfolding one of your blankets, he lays it out flat on the ground. “You knew exactly what you were doing and planned all of this, down to leaving me alone in your hot ass apartment with tools you’ve never used once in your life.”

“I’m not that smart.” You giggle, shrugging. “But crazy how things worked out in my favor.”

“Whatever.” Jay rolls his eyes at you playfully, immediately switching to glare at Jake. “You don’t get to fuck her in the ass. Not yet.”

Jake’s eyes perk all the way open, crawling on his knees onto the blanket. “Who’s going in what ass?”

“My ass.” You add with an arched eyebrow. “Unless..”

“Hey.” Jay pinches your thigh, pulling at the shirt sticking to your skin. “Off. We don’t know if some other crazy person will decide to come out of their cave to do laundry at this hour.”

Jake’s gaze trails to follow your movements, the flirty smile you display for Jay as you slowly strip free from his shirt and crawl past him, laying back on the blanket propped up on your elbows. “You next.”

Jay nods, quickly freeing himself of the sweaty tank top he arrived in. Still wearing the same swim trunks he had on earlier. Jake’s gaze follows after yours, swallowing as his friend shoves down his shorts and shoves them aside.

“Dude.”

“Sorry.” Jake’s head snaps, quickly snapshotting Jay’s cock in his mind. Trying to convince himself that they aren’t that different in size.. last time they bathed together in middle school, Jake was definitely bigger.. times have changed.

“I’m already prepped.” You mention sneakily, turning onto your side to pull your ass apart. 

Jay growls, grabbing you by your ankles to drag your body closer. “Such a fucking slut.”

“You like it.” 

Jake wearily eyes between the two of you, unsure if he should stick a hand out or get closer to where Jay’s sitting on his knees. He probably wouldn’t like that..

“Come here baby, don’t be nervous.” With grabby hands reaching towards Jake, he follows and lays down by your side. Leaning in for the kiss you initiate. It’s too hot in here to waste time and ease into it, sucking on your saliva like a man dying of thirst, he wraps around your body. Hands groping along your thighs and waist until you change the position and manage to get on top of him. 

It’s been awhile since he’s been this close to you, let alone fully naked. Strumming arousal through his cock to his chest, he pulls back from your lips to admire how good you look on top of him. Lips swollen, chest shining with sweat, defined stomach twitching as you do the same and take in his nearly destroyed appearance. 

“So big Jakey, so hard again for me.” You whisper, hand returning to squeeze his length as you sit up and direct the tip between your wet folds. 

Jake might let out the most humiliating scream right now if you dare to say his name so sweetly again. Having to lift his neck to watch the tip of his cock get coated with your glossu arousal. Whimpers still manage to pass through his wet lips, sucking on the bottom to suppress more as Jay watches on from behind you. His strong hands massaging and digging into your soft flesh.

“Oh my God—“ he squeals, struggling to inhale as you prod at your entrance. The tight ring of muscle snapping around his cockhead like a rubberband. “Fuck, I—“

“How am I going to fit you both.” You mumble, mouth hung open as you watch the tip of his length enter you for the first time. 

“Like this.” Jay rumbles against your ear. The hands locked on your waist forcing you down to take Jake’s size all in one go.

“Ahh!” The shout you let out nearly mutes the round of gasps and frantic moans Jake lets out. Wide eyes staring at the space between your thighs where his cock has disappeared into in shock.

“I’m inside you..” he whispers faintly, head dropping back, hitting the blanketed ground hard. “Fuck, I’m inside of you.”

Not a minute goes by before Jay’s vicious hold on your stomach begins to maneuver you back and forth on Jake’s length. Making you take every inch before you can fully get used to his size. Too wet to even care that it stings and hurts just a little bit. Reaching behind yourself to scratch and smack at his shoulders. “So mean!”

“Exactly how you like it.” He spits against your ear. Biting down on the lobe and entering your ass without any warning.

“Jay!” The initial shock of his full size entering shoots a spasm through your body, head dropped back against his shoulder gasping for air.

“Said you were prepped.” He grunts, grabbing onto your waist hard enough to leave marks or his fingertips and nails behind. “Still too fucking tight to take me.”

Jay’s hard hitting thrusts build up speed instantly. Ramming the full length of his hard rock rod deep inside of your ass. Pulling out each time Jake pushes in sending different nerves into a craze. 

Indistinguishable moans sing from your throat. Finally full the way you’ve been craving and begging your boyfriend to let you experience. Playing with different sizes of dildos to convince him of how good you’d look taking two cocks at once.

Now with his eyes focused on the way the skin under your navel protrudes each time Jake thrusts in, he can’t disagree with you. Squeezing the life out of his cock as he watches another man fuck you at the same time. Listening to your wanton moans right against his ear. So filthy and sexy, the weight of two cocks pressed deep inside of you only separated by thin layers of skin. Unable to comprehend if that’s just your pulsating heat of Jake’s dick throbbing through your flesh against his. 

The feelings mutual between the three of you. All too caught up in your own need to fuck and get off, chasing after your orgasmic highs. Sweat drips from the walls and your holes simultaneously. Riding both of them at the same time as earth cracking screams rip from between your lungs and you struggle to build a faster pace.

“You can do better than that.” Jay commands with a skin burning slap to your ass, crossing his arms on his chest to watch you bounce up and down on his length. “Faster.”

“S’too much!” You fold, eyes wrinkled shut with your palms flat against Jake’s spasming abdomen. 

“C-close, getting close.” Jake whines between garbled moans. Scratching his nails down your gyrating thighs. 

“Please, don’t pull out! Want you both to fill me up, need to feel full of you both. Please please!” 

God, Jake might lose his mind if he wakes up from this. There’s no way in the fucking world that you whine this pretty, look this good getting fucked. The sweat on your face literally glistening akin to droplets of glitter, wet hair splayed on your neck and shoulders as if an artist's hands carved out the details. It’s stupid how unreal you look begging for cum, begging to cock deep inside of your pussy and ass. Worse than sin personified as you claw at his shoulders and leave marks behind as if the devil himself has his evil hooks in his clutches. 

“I’ll give you anything that you fucking want.” Jay growls against your ear, locking eyes with Jake beneath the two of you. Lower half hammering against your backside throwing your hips into a rapid frenzy to ride his cock. 

He will, Jake will give you anything you fucking want in life. Even if it means sharing you with his best friend, because nothing can top this right now. Cupping your bouncing breasts in his hands as you slam down on his length, chanting out all the ways you crave to be filled. He’ll feed your greed for a drop of a taste of this. Writhing upward to match your pace against the sticky sweat puddled at his lower back. The wet sounds emitting from between your thighs, from Jay’s sturdy chest beating against your back, from his weight being jerked up and down your blanket by the force of your hips.

“Fuck, aghh—” Jake can’t hide the way his cheeks redden as more incoherent desperation soars out of him. Too obvious when Jay glares down at him to further remind him of how embarrassed he should be. Turned into a straight up puddle of mush with his eyes rolled back far enough to only leave the whites displayed. He can’t find the will to care anymore, cock wrapped up too tight in your dripping wet warmth, breasts molded to his hands unable to let go no matter how hard you fuck him. 

“I’m cumming!” As hard as he tries to hold it in, he can’t anymore. Not with the residue of your saliva still painted on his sack, not with your tongue hanging out panting like a rabid animal with piercing eyes laser focused on him. He has to fill you up, drive each inch deep enough to paint your womb with his release, leave a part of himself inside of you forever. “Can—can’t, fuck!”

Sticky hot seed blankets his length, throwing his hips in a circle as Jay comes to a stop behind you and pushes down on the tip of Jake’s cock extending out from beneath your navel. “He’s so deep.” He whispers hotly against your ear, breaking your resolve.

Jay doesn’t allow you time to process the wash of white blinding heat scathing down your body. Quickly shoving you down onto Jake’s limp convulsing frame and tethering your arms back. He leverages his strength with the grip around your wrists, speeding up to a brutal pace to pound into your ass. The pressure of your orgasm extends out, crumbling your tiny bit of sense left as drool trickles free from the corners of your mouth. Rocked fiercely against Jake’s twitching abdominal, cock plunging in and out of your ass at an angry pace.

Anger for going behind his back after he gave you the okay and agreed to opening up your relationship. Anger because you’re such a needy slut desperate for cock all of the damn time. Pissing him off until he fucks you full of load after load until he’s an emptied panting disaster on your bed. Some horny fucking cock demon masked with bows in your hair is what you really are. 

“Ah, baby!” You sob out, cracked voice echoing through the laundry mat. “Too much!”

“Too much? Shut the fuck up.” He grits, slapping your ass roughly with his free hand. “This is what you fucking wanted.”

It is. All you’ve ever wanted and fantasized about for years. Your best friends using your body however they(you) want. The pain of Jake’s cock popping free from your cunt right as Jay pummels his fully inside of your ass. Pulling on your wrists hard enough to pop your shoulders, getting your back pressed back up against his chest. 

“Giving you what you want, what you fucking begged for.” He rasps against your ear, free hand finding your throat to circle around. “Desperate little slut so hungry for cock. Think you can just hand this pussy out to anyone.”

“N-no,” you cry, trembling in his hold. Ass clamping on his length relentlessly burying deep inside of you over and over again. “Only want you.” 

Jake’s whimper sounds out beneath you, the position Jay set you in spreading your drenched pussy over his softening cock repeatedly. “Only the two of you.” You choke, scrambling to grab onto Jake’s waist for some control. 

It’s useless, losing the war for power to Jay’s merciless thrusts that bounce your ass back against his stomach and hips. Rippling through your bottom with each pointed slam of his cock. Keeping your wrists pinned to your lower back with his thick palm splayed on your throat, forcing you to meet his mouth to land a searing kiss between your parted open lips. “Begging me to fuck your ass like this, only to bitch about how you can’t take it.”

“I can— I can!” Tears mix with the sweat on your face, drool connecting your bitten over swollen lips. The prettiest wreck Jay’s ever wanted to fix only to break again, over and over. Always teasing him about being too gentle with you only to make a fuss like this when he gives you exactly what you want. 

“My nasty little cocksleeve, good for nothing but taking this dick.” Hawking a wad of spit between your lips, he smacks your cheek to shut your mouth and swallow. Tossing you down to lay flat against Jake’s chest. “Don’t fucking move.”

Broken cries and muffled sounds roll off your tongue as your chest rubs against Jake’s. Meeting his glazed over eyes, slowly blinking at each other before Jay grips onto your shoulders and fucks into you with abandon. Breathing raggedly as sweat blurs his vision and Jake reaches down to grab onto your ass, splitting you completely wide open his friend to get a full visual of his cock ripping through your rim.

“Ah, fuck!” That’s all it takes to break down his need to finish inside of you last. To make sure you know good and well who you really belong to. Cum shoots out of him aggressively, pushing out past his girth stretching your ass out, the sticky white so obscenely beautiful across your swollen rim. Struggling to bubble free with his size so full and deep inside of you.

“Fuck, this was not real.” Jake collapses flat, hands slipping from your ass. Mind still too fogged up post orgasm, hissing when you shift and the tip of his length nearly finds its way back inside of you. “C-can’t, too sensitive..” he admits feebly.

“7 hours.” You whisper weakly against his chest, feeling the hint of a smile with the fronts of your teeth dragging on his skin.

“Yeah yeah..”

A lewd pop rolls shivers up your spine as Jay slides out, drawing a loud wet sound of cum following his exit. Slapping your ass again, he reaches up to pat your head. “What you get for disobeying me.”

“Mean..”

Jake hates that his cock twitches between your bodies, refusing to meet Jay’s gaze as he tries to focus on what’s grosser. The dried cum in his bellybutton, the puddle of sweat under his ass, or his best friend's nut pouring from your ass to land on his thighs..

It was the summer before me and Jake’s junior year of university. We have been working all summer and it’s another other day at the office. Putting in check information for the bank was a lot more boring than I expected .Wake up, go to work, come home, sleep, repeat. There was no time to do anything else. We were always told that if we went to college, we would have a good job. That proved to be wrong. 

Both Jake and I are going through college together, though he landed a way better paying job than I did. When it comes to bills, he ends up having to pay more than me, but he swears up and down that it is not a big deal.

I set down my mug. I hear my phone ring. It’s Jake. “Hello?” he should be at work. “Hey Pumpkin, I got out early today, were there any groceries that we needed?”

“I wasn’t expecting this, but no I can’t think of anything.”  “Okay, Stay safe, I will see you later.”

Jake never really got time off of work but when he did, I usually tried to stay out of his hair and let him relax. I just continued to run reports, pretty much twiddling my thumbs until the clock struck 5 and I would make my way out of this hell hole.

Traffic was terrible as usual. A usually 7 minute drive turned into an hour. Days like this I just want to get home and throw all my stuff on the ground and lock myself away in my room. Maybe watch some TV. Or listen to some music while my computer is hooked up to it. Anything that distracts from knowing I have to go back to the job I hate the next day. My thoughts are interrupted by a honk coming from behind me. The light turns green. Thank God. But as soon as I pull away from the curb, a car pulls out in front of me. Damn those stupid drivers. I don’t even know how many times this month I’ve had to pull over so they could let someone pass. It isn’t worth getting into a fight with them about. I try to ignore them.

I made it back to our house just in time for the sun to still be out. I made way into the house and Jake was in the kitchen. It was an unusual sight. His after work routine typically consists of cracking open a cold one and playing his computer. “Hey princess” he greeted me.

I stand at the front door, taking off my shoes and hanging my keys on the rack. “What has you in a good mood all of a sudden” I ask suspiciously.

“Well since I got off work early, I figured i’d come home and suprise you with dinner since you just been eating so much take out recently” he replied nonchalantly. The thought makes me sick. “You didn’t need to do that Jake.” “Oh yes, I did. You haven’t been cooking for yourself for a couple months now. I wanted to show you how much your best friend cares about you” he says.

Reguardless of what I say, the food is made and there is no taking it back. I guess I can’t really argue with him over it.

“And besides, I know you have missed your mom cooking pasta for us when we would go to her house in Australia, I figured I should make some do you instead” he adds.

I slowly approach the table. He is still finishing up plating everything. He looks up at me and smiles. “It smells good” I say flatly. He takes off the oven mitts and wipes his hands on it. He sets my plate down in front of me and he pulls out the chair to my right and takes a seat.

“So how was your day Jake?” I asked awkwardly. He starts digging in and responds, “Not too bad. What about yours?”

“Same shit different day. Boss is always yelling at me and the company keeps treating me like garbage even though I am the only one who actually gives a fuck.” I complained, eating a piece of garlic toast. It tasted good, surprisingly good, considering the amount of spices he used.

“Well I am glad it’s Friday so you can take some time to unwind over the weekend” he attempts to comfort me but at this point i’m too tired.

“I guess.” I poke at my food a little bit. Why does Jake’s job seem so perfect? he easily makes twice as what I make and I rarely hear him complain about working either.

“You don’t have to eat if you don’t want to, I am not going to force you.” I guess Jake noticed me being hesitant about eating the rest of my meal.

“It’s not that I don’t want to eat it’s just that I’m really stressed and I don’t want to keep you here listening to me complain about the same things over and over again”

“Look at me” he said. I slowly lift my head for my eyes to meet with his. “I promise I will never get tired of listening to you” he reassured.

There he goes again, sending those butterflies flapping in my stomach. I don’t understand why he is so gentle and compassionate. It gives me goosebumps. I decide I might as well stop procrastinating and start enjoying the evening. “Thank you” I say, giving him a small smile. His face immediately lit up. It’s kind of cute. The rest of dinner went rather smoothly. Jake kept the conversation going, mostly talking about my day and what his was about, and then we would drift off into silence. He looked so relaxed and calm that I felt completely at ease. Even if I knew I should feel bad for keeping him up with my whining, I couldn’t bring myself to.

I stand up from the table and wash my plate. “I don’t know if anyone told you today, but you look gorgeous as always” he sneaks up behind me. “You don’t look too bad your self Jake” I returned. My face was already a dark hue of red.

I decided maybe tonight I won’t rot away in my room. It’s a Friday night, I’ll have a little bit of fun. Still inside the house though. It is probably too cold outside anyway. I realize I am still in my work clothes. I return to my room to take them off and throw on my most comfortable pair of shorts and a talk top and take my Nintendo Switch to the living room.

Jake was already waiting there for me. He had a bottle of wine and 2 empty glasses. He looked up when I entered and smiled. I gave a shy smile and sat down next to him. He pulled me closer to him, pressing himself against me. Our legs intertwined under the couch. For a moment I forgot about the work situation and the world. In that moment it just felt nice to sit close to someone who cared for me unconditionally.

“What were you wanting to play?” he breaks the silence. “I was thinking we could play some Mario Kart” I suggested.

“Yeah we can, but you already know I’m gonna kick your ass”. He loves teasing me. I punched his shoulder and chuckled.

~~~~~~~~~~

He is in my bed. I just woke up and he is in my bed. I don’t know how to react. Maybe I drank a little too much? I really don’t remember anything after playing a few rounds of Mario Kart. He looks so peaceful. His dark brown hair all tangled up on the pillow. The way his biceps look in his black tank top. He doesn’t snore, but the way he breathes when he sleeps is very cute. There is a slight hint of stubble on his chin, almost like he hasn’t shaved in awhile. His lips are slightly parted. His face shows such contentment and relaxation. He looks so damn beautiful. I have to admit he is pretty attractive and I think he knows it. And I can’t help but wonder about what would happen if I leaned forward and kissed him. His soft lips pressed up against mine. I think it would be okay. Probably wouldn’t hurt. Scratch that, it would probably hurt a lot.

I woke up surprisingly early for a Saturday morning. Usually I am in bed until noon, but it’s only 9:30. Opposite of me, Jake likes to start his weekends bright and early, so it is a bit strange that he isn’t awake by now. I won’t bother him. It’s probably better this way. I roll over onto my side facing away from him. I close my eyes trying to fall back asleep. But it seems to be impossible. My mind is too preoccupied and Jake’s body is far too close to mine for my liking. I groan quietly. It doesn’t help at all.

I crawl out of bed, doing my best not to wake Jake up. As soon as I step out of the room, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. It’s my mom. I guess I hadn’t returned and of her texts last night. She asks if I have slept okay and if I’ve eaten breakfast. When she sees I haven’t. She sends me a picture of the last time I was at her house eating spaghetti. “Just eat something sweetheart and take care of yourself” she reminds me gently. I sigh deeply before replying. “Mhmm thanks mom” I set my phone down on the kitchen counter and rummage through the fridge, hoping to find something appetizing for breakfast. As I search, I can't stop thinking about waking up next to Jake this morning. We've been best friends for so long, but recently I've started seeing him in a new light. The way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, how considerate he is, it stirs up the feelings I've been trying to suppress. I shake my head slightly and settle on making some eggs and toast.

As I cook, memories of last night come flooding back. The wine, the laughter, the gentle way he pulled me close on the couch as we played games. My heart flutters just thinking about how natural and right it felt being cuddled up next to him. But I can't read too much into it. Jake is my oldest friend, he probably sees the intimacy as purely platonic. The sizzle of the eggs brings me back to reality. I quickly plate the food and grab a mug of coffee before heading to the living room. I'll just relax and enjoy this lazy Saturday morning.

I'm about halfway through my breakfast when I hear Jake's footsteps shuffling down the hallway. He emerges, hair sticking up adorably, letting out a big yawn. "Mornin' sunshine," he says with a sleepy grin. I feel my cheeks warm at the nickname. "Morning. I made some extra if you want it," I reply, nodding toward the kitchen. "You're the best." Jake passes over to dish up a plate, giving me a perfect view of his lean back muscles stretching against his thin t-shirt. I quickly avert my eyes as he returns to the couch. As he sits next to me, our arms brush and I feel that spark of electricity again.

Jake doesn't seem to notice, just digs into his eggs happily. We eat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before he speaks up again.

"That was a fun night last night, wasn't it?" His eyes meet mine with a warm smile. "We'll have to do it again soon." I return the smile, hoping he can't see the longing behind it. "Yeah, it was really nice." Nice to just relax and be ourselves without any expectations or pressures. Nice to feel...that close to him.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

~~~~~~~~~~

Jake has a friend named Jay. When Jake isn’t at work or at the house, he is most likely hanging out with Jay. Jay is a go with the flow kind of guy and was kind of a womanizer. There’s nothing wrong with it, but I try not to hang out with Jake when Jay is there for that reason.

Jake and Jay always go out for drinks on Saturday nights. I can’t remember the last time he was home on a Saturday night and I didn’t have to take care of him the next morning. He routinely stays at Jay’s house that night then gets an Uber back here the next morning.

Jake and Jay's Saturday night routine carried on like clockwork most weekends. Around 9 PM, Jay would pick Jake up and they'd head to their usual bar downtown. The two friends would drink heavily, telling outrageous stories and shamelessly checking out any attractive women who passed by.

For Jake, it was just a guys' night out away from work stress. But for Jay, it was a chance to flirt and see if he could add another notch to his bedpost. Jake didn't partake in that behavior himself, but he also didn't reproach Jay for it. He figured it was just Jay's way.

Come last call, the two would be pretty sloshed. Instead of dealing with an Uber that late, Jake would just crash at Jay's place. He'd wake up hungover the next morning and request a ride from a car service back home.

When he arrived home disheveled, I'd already have water and painkillers ready for him. I hated having to nurse him after these nights, but it was better than having Jay's leering presence around me. His constant objectification of women made me deeply uncomfortable. So I put up with Jake's hangovers to avoid that part of their friendship dynamic.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Jake opens the front door. I can hear him complaining about his headache already. He sets his keys down and immediately lays down in the couch.

"Hey babygirl, where is the aspirin? Do we have any aspirin left?" he asks groggily. A small chuckle escapes my lips before I turn around to look at him, smiling slightly. “I already got it out for you, and here is a glass of water”. His eyes are closed as I place the pills in his hand and he smiles once they make contact. “Thank you so much for taking care of me princess.” he praises as he shot the tablets into his mouth.

I giggle. This man is ridiculous. A loud yawn escapes his lips and I smile. As much as I hate seeing him like this, I am content with letting him have his fun every once in a while. His shirt is buttoned incorrectly, showing off his muscular chest. I look back at his face. His eyes were opened and he noticed me staring.

“What’s wrong Princess?” he slurs. “Do I look stupid or something?” “No Jake, you look great” I reply truthfully. “You just looked a little tired is all.”

Jake rolls over on the couch and turns onto his side. “I know you’re going to tell me I should rest more, but it’s so hard to sleep when you’re not in the same room.”

“Really? You usually fall asleep within seconds. Why is that?” He shrugs. “Don’t know babe. Just don’t like being alone.” I frown. That’s true enough. Jake never really liked being by himself. Ever since we were in diapers, he had always been surrounded by people. His parents, coworkers…me.

I decide to ask something rather personal instead. Maybe that will distract us for a while. “How’s your mom doing lately? Do you miss her?” Jake doesn’t respond right away. He starts fidgeting under my gaze. His hands begin picking at a loose thread on the couch cushion.

“Yeah, yeah. I miss her. I wish she wouldn’t be working so much now. She used to work less back when we were high school, you know? I still get worried sometimes” he answers with a slight edge in his voice. “It’s okay Jake. You know she likes working for your dad. It helps pay for everything” I remind him softly. He nods slowly. After a few moments, he finally breaks the silence.

“Why do you ask?” I guess he was caught off guard by the question. “I know it’s been a while since you’ve seen them, Australia isn’t in walking distance, ya know.” I try to cheer him up.

He sighs and looks down at the couch. “I guess I just wish I was able to spend more time with her like I did when I was younger. It doesn’t matter though.” He shakes his head dismissively. “She’ll come visit whenever she can. I’m just glad we both decided to live somewhere else for college. I would definitely have missed our family trips.”

“Oh…” I bite my lip unsure what to say to comfort him. He’s always taken his mother very seriously. Even when he was young he often complained that she worked too hard and stressed herself out, which only made him madder. In all fairness, she did work extremely hard—even harder than he ever could. And now that she has found some semblance of stability, he worries that he won’t be able to provide for her the lifestyle he wanted for her.

I reach out and pat Jake's arm reassuringly. "I know how much you miss your mom. But she's doing what she needs to in order to help take care of the bills and your dad. You know she'd be here if she could."

Jake nods slowly. "Yeah, you're right. I just wish there was more I could do from here, instead of feeling so helpless being so far away. I know my dad would want me there as well" He runs a hand through his tousled hair. "At least I have you around. Don't know what I'd do. You kinda of bring a feeling of home to me. I hope that made sense.”

I feel my cheeks flush a little at his words. "Well, you know I'll always be here for you," I reply, trying to keep my tone light.

“Thank you sweet heart.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Our parents went to University together. That’s how they met. My mom met Jake’s mom in a sociology class, and they have been best friends ever since. Being college bestfriend basically guarantees that your kid will have someone to grow up with, and they took advantage of that. He has litterally been there for every life event my mom felt was important enough to let him in on.

Though we didn’t become friends by choice, we were latched onto eachother ever since we were introduced. I remember I would ball my eyes out when even Jake got sick because it meant I couldn’t hang out with him after school or have play dates on the weekends. As we grew up, the situations weren’t as innocent. I would confide in him when I was upset, and he would hold me in his arms after my nightmares. I even found comfort in him after my numerous hearts breaks in highschool. Though none of my relationships were ever that serious, I was still unmistakably heartbroken.

Jake was never really a ladies man in highschool, or in general. He studied more on acedemics, which I guess was a good idea considering where he is now. Although I’d never said anything about it, his dating career was pretty dead for several years. In my opinion, it seemed unfair to Jake to not go on dates after highschool. While I understood why he wasn’t interested, it seemed a waste not to try. After all, I’m sure he could get any chick he wanted if he tried, I mean look at him. He had grown from a cute kid playing video games to one who had a perfect body and gorgeous features to match. So yeah, I loved that he was a boy and my friend. But there was no way I could give myself completely to such a man, especially with our history.

Jake is a lot different when I’m around, a lot more caring and loving. I’m reminded of all those times when I would find Jake crying when we came back from vacation during our sophomore year, or how he would suddenly appear at my room door at 5am looking for reassurance or help. At the time, I thought it was because he needed someone to talk to about the things troubling his mind, but now that I think about it , it’s kind of obvious he’s lonely. His dad has been in and out of the hospital recently. I don’t really want to push Jake into going into detail about his condition because it might make him emotional, but I just know that it is another thing that is weighing on him.

When I first started seeing him more and more recently, I thought maybe he wanted us to become closer friends. I mean, he was always talking about how much he adores spending time with me, and how grateful he is to me for saving him and bringing him back to life. I think the situation with his parents are weighing down on him more than I realize.

~~~~~~~~~~

The rhythmic tapping of rain against the window pane fills the hushed stillness of my bedroom. I lie awake, Jake's sleeping form curled up beside me, his head pillowed on my chest. His eyebrows are furrowed even in slumber, mouth turned down in a soft frown - the worry lines etched across his features never seem to fully fade these days. Gently, I brush some stray locks of hair off his forehead, my thumb tracing over the crease between his brows. Jake's been carrying the entire weight of his family's struggle on those broad shoulders.

A quiet sigh escapes his lips and he burrows deeper into my side, one arm slinging possessively over my waist. We've been a tangle of limbs like this more nights than not recently. After the latest bout of bad news about his dad, Jake sought me out like a man wandering through the desert in desperate need of water. I remember the rawness in his voice as he begged to stay in his room, to be held and comforted, the same way I always have. Whatever Jake needs from me, he'll never be turned away.

Trailing my fingers through Jake's hair, I allow myself to drink in every detail of him in this rare moment of peace. The slight upturn of his perfectly sloped nose. The way his plump lips are parted just enough to allow shallow puffs of breath to ghost across my skin. He really is beautiful in the most masculine, rugged way. Not that I'd ever say that out loud - it would be mortifying if Jake caught me ogling him like some lovesick fool. Then again, I've been a lovesick fool for the better part of a decade when it comes to him.

Lost in the flow of my thoughts, I don't even register the soft snuffling noises at first. It's only when Jake's eyelashes start fluttering that I glance down to find him blinking up at me groggily. Without a word, he shifts until his head is cradled in the crook of my neck, placing a slow, scorching kiss to the exposed skin of the side of my neck.

The world seems to screech to a halt. That...was definitely intentional. Purposefully intimate. There's no way it was an accident or a brief moment of sleep-hazy confusion. Not with the way Jake's pupils are blown wide, his lips parting to reveal the tip of his tongue darting out to wet them instinctively.

Just as quickly as the spark ignited, Jake seems to deflate, burying his face into the juncture of my neck and shoulder with a muffled whimper. His hands are fisting in the fabric of my sleep shirt, clutching me with a white-knuckled grip like I'm his lifeline back to the surface. Like if he doesn't hold on, he might drown. "Hey hey hey…" I gently stroke the length of his spine calming him. "You're okay now, everything is alright, relax..." Jake's breathing gradually slows. Gradually, he begins to relax, his fingers slackening their death grip in my shirt.

A few moments pass in silence before he lifts his head and looks directly at me. His eyes are slightly bloodshot, probably from all the crying. They’re red and glassy, a stark contrast to his usually flawless complexion. "Sorry," he murmurs. I shrug slightly. "Don't apologize." After a few sniffles, I feel his breathing become more consistent and his face is dry. He starts to do that cute breathing that I talked about. After I realized that he has met some sort of peace and fell asleep, I fell asleep soon after.

~~~~~~~~~~

The morning light filters in through the cracks of my blinds, shining over Jake's sleeping body in a soft glow. My eyes trace the line of his jawbone, the gentle rise and fall of his bare chest as he breathes. He looks so tranquil like this.

Jake smells so fucking good. If I could lay on his chest and take it his scent all day, I really would. Not to mention his face is extremely handsome. He has the face that other guys wish they had. It’s very obvious he takes care of himself.

I can't stop replaying that moment from last night over and over in my mind. The heat of Jake's lips pressing against the skin of my neck. Part of me was desperate to surge forward then and seal my mouth over Jake's, to finally give in to the magnetic pull that's been drawing me to him.

But I didn't. I couldn't. Because I'm also terrified of what exploring these feelings could mean for our relationship.

Losing him isn't an option I can fathom. And he seemed to make the same choice in that moment by turning away, burying his face against my neck with a whimper that could have been either anguished or relieved.

We're cowards, the two of us. Content to dance around the fire instead of being set ablaze

Part of me wonders if Jake was hoping for something in return. Maybe a kiss? Maybe he did it to show it trust and comfort for me. He knows what he is doing. The moment his lips touched my neck, my whole body shivered. I wanted more but I contained myself.

My body still hums with the memory of his kiss, nerves tingling with equal parts of dread. I want to reach out and trail my fingertips over the golden skin of his forearm, to breathe him in and see if he tastes how I've imagined on my tongue.

How many more moments like last night can I survive before the truth comes out? I don't have the answers. All I know is that I'm still undeniably his - body, mind and heart.

It has been too many nights where I imagine his lips against mine. The way he chills my spine when whispers in my ear makes me crave hearing his voice. I wonder what he would be like in a relationship with me, he treats me like a princess already, I don’t know how much better it could get.

My mind drifts to memories of him holding me tight when I was upset, his muscular arms engulfing me in a warm embrace. The feeling of safety and contentment that would wash over me in those moments. If I could experience that every night by his side, it might just be pure bliss.

I fantasize about waking up intertwined with Jake, our legs tangled together as we trade kisses and touches unhurried by the outside world. Combing my fingers through his bed hair while he peppers light kisses along my jawline.

Maybe there could be slowmake-out sessions on the couch, all heated caresses and desperate roaming hands before things inevitably progress further. I would lavish every sculpted line of Jake's body with devoted attention. I imagine he would be an attentive, generous lover, just as giving in the bedroom as he is in every other aspect of his life.

I also can’t get over the mental hurdle that maybe it is kind of gross that I see my bestfriend this way. I could easily mistake all of the kind things he does and how he treats me as something more than what he intends it to be, and that would make me uneasy. I have never done anything sexual with him and anything that would imply sexual attraction, yet I am still here wondering what it is like to have sex with him.

~~~~~~~~~~

I really need to get my feelings sorted out soon because they are just going to keep building up until they eventually burst, and I really don’t want Jake to witness that.The week went the same again. and again. and again. Wake up, go to work, do nothing after. But recently, Jake got a promotion at his job, which was grounds for celebration.

The local diner is busy with the lunch crowd, the air thick with aromas of burgers sizzling on the griddle and fresh baked pie. Jake and I slip into our usual corner booth, the cracked vinyl cushions molding to our forms like old friends. This place has been our go to spot since we started university here. We've shared so many moments in this very booth over the years. Happy celebrations or acing a big exam.

Which is why the thick tension clouding the air between us right now feels so alien. Instead of our usual easy camaraderie, I can barely look at Jake without my pulse kicking up. The memory of his firm chest brushing mine, those plush lips just a table length away, has my skin flushing hot. I squeeze my thighs together secretly, desperate for any kind of friction to alleviate the slow burn of arousal low in my belly.

Just being this close to Jake is enough to have that want unfolding all over again. Filling my head with flashes of how it could feel to finally give in - his weight blanketing me, our bodies moving together in a sinuous rhythm as his mouth trails searing kisses along my neck. "Hey." Jake's low rumble jolts me out of the vivid fantasy.

"You're zoning out, sweetheart. Everything okay?" My cheeks flame darker, that suddenly seems too intimate. I duck my head, but not before catching the unmistakable smirk curling at the corners of Jake's lips. That insufferable, cocky smirk he knows drives me crazy. I want to kiss it off his stupidly perfect face. Or maybe bite at the sharp line of his jaw, put that arrogant look to better use while I'm straddling his lap and--

"Fine," I mumble, hooking a loose strand of hair behind my ear to avoid meeting Jake's eyes. The small movement causes our elbows to brush together on the tabletop. His skin is so soft. Jake's brow furrows, like he doesn't miss the way I've gone tense and flustered all over again. Before I can blink, his hand is covering mine. Those long fingers tenderly stroking along my knuckles, smoothing over my suddenly clammy skin.

Slowly, purposefully, Jake tugs my hand closer until my palm is cupping his scruffy jaw. I suck in a sharp, shaky breath at the contact, at being able to feel the rasp of his five o'clock shadow against my sensitive skin. Jake holds me there for a moment, those meltingly warm eyes boring into mine like he's trying to read my mind.

Then, in the most tempting act of torture imaginable, Jake presses his lips to my wrist in the barest brush of mouth against pulse point. I swear I could die right then and there. He slowly pulls away, looking up to meet my eyes once again. Our gaze meets, intense and lustful, filled with a hunger that only he knows how to create. This feels so wrong, so dangerous. The fact he's staring down at my lips, licking his subconsciously causes a slight hitch in my breathing. A tiny part of me wants to lean forward and press my lips to his. But I stop the impulse with the thought of what we did last night, and the consequences of getting caught again.

Instead, I let out a sigh and break eye contact before pulling my hand away and placing my elbow on the table. I rub my thumb across my wrist absentmindedly while avoiding Jake's gaze, the words I want to say stuck somewhere inside my throat like rocks. There isn't anything I can do. What I have with Jake is different now. I'm scared shitless to tell him how I truly feel.

"What's wrong? Are you alright?" Jake asks, worry laced into his tone. He places a hand on my thigh, making me jump slightly. “It’s nothing, really” I lied. The server comes over to the table to take our order. “What could I get started for you to drink” he says.

-

Our meal goes by normally, Jake pretending that he had done nothing earlier. Afterward, we head home, the silence thickening the further into town we get. There’s nothing for me to say, no reason to prolong this conversation I’m dreading anymore. He must sense my sudden change of mood. He drops his arm from around my shoulders and lets his hand fall limply back onto his knee.

We walk silently in the direction of our house. Neither of us speaking. It’s almost as if we’re both waiting for the other to make the first move. I have an overwhelming urge to turn to him and kiss him.

~~~~~~~~~~

I can’t stop thinking about Jake. He is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. Over the past few weeks, I feel like he has become a lot more touchy, which don’t really mind. He smiles for a little longer when we eat together. We have slept in each others room a lot more often than before. I may just be over analyzing it.

Jake is going out with Jay again. As usual, I don’t plan on him coming home tonight, and I will wake up to a hungover Jake. Jay isn’t really the friend to take care of you when you feel ill, so that responsibility is left on me.

I hate to admit, but when Jake isn’t home for a night, I fight the urge to sleep in his bed. I have been sleeping in his bed with him so often that it leaves me in withdrawal when we aren’t in the same bed.

Just being in his room, his scent diffused in the air, it makes me miss him so much more. Even without thinking about the fact that it is his room, the bed is so much more comfortable than mine, which is all the better reason to sleep there.

I walk in, already in my shorts and t-shirt, and wonder around. He has the picture of us that his mom took when we were first leaving for Korea framed on his nightstand.

I pick it up and examine it closely. It is the one photo where we didn’t appear stiff. I remember the day clearly; I was standing with him, grinning broadly. I never expected to smile so much when I was young, but my memories of our trip leave a bright happy feeling inside my stomach.

I set the photo back down and I lift the blanket from the corner of the bed. I slide into the bed, laying on his side like I usually do when he isn’t here. I instantly melt into the sheets. I scroll on my phone whilst fighting my eyelids to stay awake, but eventually I fall asleep prematurely.

Jake usually keeps his room pretty cool, which calls for cuddling closely under the blankets. In the middle of my sleep, I am shot awake when my cold limbs are instantly warmed by an unexpected sensation. Why was Jake home?

Jake continues to get comfortable under the blanket, not even batting an eye at the fact that I was just sleeping in his bed. I pull him closer by his waist to fulfill the rest of the warmth that my body craves.

“Why are you shivering sweetheart, you could have turned on the heater.” he worries.

“I wanted the temperature to be tolerable when you got back in the morning” such a stupid explanation. “Speaking of, why are you here right now? what happened to Jay’s?” I questioned, completely forgetting how we got into this situation in the first place.

“Jay was feeling ill so we called it a night pretty early, I only got three shots down.”

Jake runs a lazy finger over my hip bone and leans in to nuzzle the crook of my neck. Shit. He’ll notice the way I react to his touches and I won’t be able to explain myself. Fuck.

“I thought I would come to my room and catch up on sleep but look what we have here instead” he says with that stupid smirk on his face.

“Oh- oh I’m sorry.” I slowly pull away from him to make way back to my room. “No babe, please don’t go, I want you to stay” he begs while keeping our fingers latched to keep our extended arms together. He then latched his hand around my wrist to slowly pull me back down to his level on the bed. It’s all happening too fast. He uses the same hand to comb his fingers through the strands at the bottom of my hair on the back of my head, and keeps his hand there entangled. He uses his hand to guide my head into a sensual kiss. He gently pressed his lips against mine. So plump, so dreamy. I reciprocated the kiss instantly, matching his pace and moving our lips in sync so perfectly. The way our lips intertwined so naturally gave me actual chills.

After giving me what I have dreamt about for years, he pulls away, leaving a string of saliva to connect our lips. He looks into my eyes, his pupils as voids. “Please stay” he whispers again. I nod dumbly, my brain still short circuiting as Jake bites is bottom lip. He’s so fucking beautiful, my eyes are practically burning holes into his lips.

His fingers gently run over my cheekbone, lingering on my jawline, tracing along my nose. “How did I ever deserve someone as beautiful as you?” he murmurs. His voice is full of admiration and love and affection. He trails his fingers along my jaw, pausing to lightly graze my collar bone, making goosebumps erupt across my skin. The heat radiating off Jake’s body is practically burning me alive.

Without thinking about it for a second longer, I close the gap between our lips again. We moved in sync, in harmony. It feels like my lips were only made to kiss his. He rests his free hand on the side of my face and uses it as grip to deepen the kiss. Kissing him I had a sense of saftey. The longer our lips were together, the more open I was to his attempts at adding tongue into the mixture. It was a sloppy wet mess, but is all I have ever wanted.

I slide my hand between out warm bodies and feel across his obvious bulge in his boxers. He instantly let out a groan when I took his imprint into my palm. I stroked it gently as we continued with intertwined tongues. His grunts and breathlessness was insanely arousing.

It was clear that we were both extremely sleepy. After a few more minutes of kissing, we eventually pulled away, with no words spoken.

I try my best to hold in my moans as the warmness travels up my body like lava. He stops tracing my collarbone to trail his hands up the side of my body, stopping to stroke a line of soft kisses along the side of my neck.

My hands grasp tightly at the material covering Jake’s shoulder blades and I use that leverage to get back under the blankets with him. We both face eachother, with our legs crossing randomly over one another. He once again rests his head in the crook of my neck, leaving a kiss like he did once before. Only this time, I know his true intention.

~~~~~~~~~

The fall semester is starting back up again. Junior year, both is our schedules are jammed packed with upper division classes. Having to balance so many classes and still having to work to keep up with the bills for the house, Jake and I hardly see each other. Even though I love spending every single day with him, I feel like I’m living with a ghost whenever I see his empty seat. When I wake up every morning to find him gone, my heart starts to ache. It hurts knowing that we might not spend as much time together. I know that the sooner that this semester ends, the easier everything will be.

The end of the semester wasn’t going to be soon though, it’s barely September. I’ve decided to try and set a study date with Jake and make sure nothing was overlapping the times. We eventually agreed apon Thursday night after he got off of his afternoon job. Maybe around 8 o’clock. I was getting a head start on my Statistics work before he showed up because I knew it would take me a while. He eventually showed up close to 8:30.

I had my headphone covering my ears, shoulders slumped over my desk, and he comes up behind me and take my shoulders in his hands and sensually massages. “Ah thank youuuu~~~ my muscles are tight” I jumped at the unexpected pressure. He drives his thumbs a little bit deeper into my blades and slides his straight arms down my stomach for a hug. “I missed you” he griped with puppy dog eyes, resting his head on my shoulder. I take off my headphone and hold both of his forearms and pull him deeper into this awkwardly positioned hug.

After a few seconds he pulls away and grabs out his bag with his laptop, and runs to his room to grab his chair to pull up next to mine. I was still seated, watching, unable to take my eyes off him. He settles himself and puts the laptop on his knees in front of him. He opens his notebook, and turns the page to the worksheet for this month. My fingers naturally find their way to his back and scratch gently while he looks over his work. They made their way up his clothed back and into his hair and I ran them through this tangled hair. He let out a sigh of fufillment and he allows himself self to close his eyes to fully take in the relaxing feeling. He breaths in deeply and slowly, taking in my coconut scent.

“Fuck it” he says under his breath.

He turns in my directed and crashed his lips into mine with no hesitation. He wraps his arms around my neck, deepening the kiss. I was startled at the quick change in plans but my lips soon melted into his and I was under his control. My tongue dances along his bottom lip, asking for entrance as he obliges and gives access. He lifts me from my chair and pulls me over to straddle his thighs.

He guides his lips to mine again, running his hands down my back as he pushes me lower into his lap. I wrap my legs slightly around his waist for some sense of support. The sensual make out and lap straddling goes on and on, until he breaks away slightly to speak, “You can move if you want sweetheart”.

He reconnects our lips and I find myself needing any sort of friction to ease the pressure building between my legs. Subconsciously grinding my core over his thigh slowly. I bite down on his lower lip causing him to suck on my tongue immediately as a response. God, he tastes so good, like the cocoa butter lip balm I got him for his birthday.

I continue grinding over his thighs picking up the aggressiveness, as he continues to run his hands through my hair. “Feeling desperate, darling?” he teases, smirking as he tries to pull me back into a kiss. “Shut up” I harden my fist and hit the front of his shoulder. He always finds a way to tease me. He chuckles as we connect our lips once again.

He slides both of his hands under my thighs stands up from his chair, and I wrap my legs around his body as he carries me to the bed. He slowly lays me down on my back with my legs still wrapped around his waist. He doesn’t break the kiss but as soon as he sets me down, I can feel his erection bulging through his pants rubbing against me sweet spot. We stop kissing momentarily as he looks at me, with lust filled eyes. He lets one of his hands rest on my chest, while the other traces along the side of my neck to my chin, tilting my head upward and pressing his forehead against mine. “Look at how gorgeous you are right now,” he says with pure adoration. “I can’t help myself when I’m with you.” A sudden surge of desire hits me and my hands grip his hips tighter as he starts to trail kisses on my jawline. I can feel an undeniable wetness spreading in my panties. I am becoming desperate.

I placed my hands at the bottom of his shirt and began lifting it up, but he finished the job and lifted it over his head and threw it to the side. I have seen Jake shirtless a million times over but this time is different. It feels more intimate than the last ones I have seen. I felt my throat tighten as my eyes were drawn to his chest which looked absolutely flawless. “So beautiful” I whisper and I trace my fingers over his abs and chest. His body looks perfectly carved and sculpted by a god. “It’s all for you, baby” he cooed.

I reach my arms around his back and gently dig my nails into his skin as he continues to kiss me. He grabs the bottom of my shirt and pulls it over my head, revealing my breasts. I wasn’t wearing a bra since I had been home all afternoon, and I definitely wasn’t expecting this. As soon as he sees them, he takes one of them in his hand. He holds my right breast in his palm and gently rubs it between his thumb and index finger.

His gaze remains focused on my chest as his mouth begins to travel down, taking his time to enjoy each and every piece of my body. He stops to give me another kiss before placing his lips on my nipple. He sucks on my nipple whilst his teeth nipped at my flesh, causing me to moan lowly. I grabbed his hair pulling him closer to me. I grind my pelvis onto his dick, eliciting a groan and he removes his mouth, making a ‘pop’ sound, to look at his next target intensely. He took my other breast into his mouth, swirling his tongue around my nipple and softly sucking, making me arch my back and having a moan escape my lips. Jake trails his hands down my waist while keeping his mouth latched to me.

His fingers went into the top of my sweatpants and I stopped him. “I have never done this before” I admitted. “Do you want me to stop?” he questions. How could I ever want him to stop? He is the only person I have ever imagined losing my virginity to. That aside I simply answer “No, Jakey, I trust you”

He continues to pull me pants down and off my legs and throws it to the side like he did with the other articles of clothing. He licks up my neck and comes to my ear. “I have never done this either, we can learn together” he whispered. Hearing this made my noticibly more wet, the way he whispers into my ear raises every single hair on my body. The thought of us having our first times with each other made this whole so much more meaningful and made me a lot less hesitant.

The only thing I have left on are my black panties and Jake looks like he is a man with a mission. I grab his bulge through his jeans and gently massage. He becomes a groaning mess as I palm his desperate tip. He is barely even able to keep his lips a decent distance apart for me to kiss him. “Fuuuck your hand feels so good” I take my other hand to start unbuckling his jeans, which he seems to have no problem with.

I pulled the belt off and unbuttoned his jeans and pulls them down, to where he took them all the way off. All he has left is his boxers. I can clearly see the imprint of he large cock through the thin fabric. I furrowed my eyebrows. “Does it look too big?, we can stop now if we need to” he questioned, seeing the fear on my face. I gulped and said “No, I can take it.”

I continued stroking through his boxers and he moved my panties to the side and rubbed gently on my folds. I gasped at the feeling. The better it started to feel, the less and less I was able to focus on Jake and more on myself. He had me wrapped around his finger. No amount of masturbating could compare to the way he is making me feel within these few minutes.

He slid his fingers down my clit and inserted one. He pumped it in and out until I felt that I was ready for more. Then 2. It hurt a little more but I slowly got used to it. He leaned his head down while his fingers still stuffed me and started leaving kisses on my clit. For having so little experience, he worked his finger and tongue like a professional. The way his tongue danced across my sensitive bud made my body shutter, and I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

“I love the sounds of your whimpers” he moaned against my clit teasing me. I couldn’t even respond. My breathing quickened, and the more his fingers fucked me, the more I could tell how wet I was getting. I whimpered again and I gripped his hair signaling how good he was making me feel. “It tastes just as sweet as I imagined” he praised. He has imagined this before? What else has he imagined?

His fingers slowed down and he slipped two inside of me simultaneously. My hips bucked up and I let out a small gasp, my nails digging into his shoulders. He continued working his fingers inside of me. He was eating like a man who hadn’t seen a meal in a week.

“I want to taste you now.” I protest, pulling his face up for a kiss. His eyes look like he is drunk as his tongue swirled with mine and he gave me a slow deep kiss. He sucked on my bottom lip, then bit me, and finally opened his mouth and licked my tongue with his. He pulls away and allows me to pull his boxers past his hips and onto the ground. His dick sprung out. God, it was a lot thicker than I imagined.

I take the base of it and put my lips against the tip, swirling my tongue around. His muscular hand combs through the top of my hair and gently grips it as I begin to take more of his length in my mouth. I could feel it sliding smoothly in and out of my throat. His grip on my hair tightens and he guides me to take more in moderation. “God yes baby, that’s it” he encouraged. I looked up at him, the room filled with breathy moans and he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. I felt the waves of his voice vibrating through my lips as he spoke, causing goosebumps to erupt across my entire body. I could feel my juices flowing through my pussy and down my belly.

I continue sucking him until he is almost completely buried inside my mouth. He leans down placing his lips beside my ear. “I don’t think I can hold out much longer” he whispers, making me smile.

He slowly pulls himself out of my mouth and lifts me back onto the bed. I use my arms to cover my chest, I am a little nervous. He leans down and kisses me on the forehead. “Don’t hide yourself, you look perfect darling” he said proceeding to take my tongue in his mouth. God this man loves using his tongue. I have never felt this type of intimacy before, and to think I am covering that ground with my bestfriend, was not how I thought it was going to go to say the least.

He brushes his tip in between my folds, spreading my wetness around. “Are you sure you want to keep going? We can stop here, just say the words and I will stop” “Please keep going” I am practically begging. He seems to enjoy my obvious desperation. He guide the tip in slowly, trying not to overwhelm me. He goes in a little deeper. I wince in pain. “Ah baby go a little slower” I pleaded. I didn’t want him to stop but it was definitely starting to hurt. He held the same spot for a few more seconds, then slowly pushed more in. I have gotten used to the stinging, as it slowly turns to pleasure.

“Shit princess, you’re so fucking tight” Jake praises. He was getting lost in his own world since he has never felt a warm pussy wrapped aroung his dick before, especially not one like mine. I felt his tip hit the enterance of my cervix. He bottomed out. He didn’t move. He didn’t even want to move, he was just enjoying the moment of his cock being buried deep inside his bestfriend. “You ok babe?” he asked, concerned by the lack of movement from me. “Yeah, just give me a second” I replied, attempting to get myself under control.

I began to relax, letting the warmth envelop my entire body. I signal that his is able to move. He slowly pulls his cock out of my cunt, and immediately pushes it back in. He rests both of his arms next to my face and comes down to kiss me. I can see the faint beads of sweat forming on his forehead. “You do not know how long I have been wanting to do this” He whispered into my ear. Once again, Jakes words send a tingle down my spine. He instantly latched himself onto my neck, sucking harshly while still keeping a slow pace down below. I grip his brown head of hair as he leaves purple marks on my skin, bruising my neck. He pulls out and goes back in, this time at a consistent rate.

Our torsos are in complete contact and he sets both of his hands under my back. I wrap my legs around his waist to allow him deeper access, which he so desperately needed. His lips were locked with mine. Our tongues were dancing along with each other as well as our chests. Every time he would suck on my lower lip, I moan against his lips.

“This is what I have been dreaming about” He says breaking away and kissing my nose. He finds me comfortable with his picking up the pace, and he did with no hesitation. He nuzzles into my neck with his hair partially resting on my face. There was no pain left to feel and my whole body was washed over with pleasure. His length fit so perfectly into my warm cunt, like we were make to only fuck eachother.

Jake head still right next to mine, I turn my head and whisper “Jakey, it feels so gooood~~~~” with inconsistency in my breathing. Jake’s ears were pleasured as if he were listening to his favorite song. He slowed down the pace, only to drive his dick deeper into my swollen cunt with each thrust. “Oh my god it’s feels so fucking good, you taking my cock like this.” he whines in my ear. He pulls away from my neck and just watching himself fuck into my pussy.

There was so much sweat on his face it was so fucking hot. It was dripping off his chin and onto my shoulder and neck. His hair was starting to get wet. He took both of my legs over his shoulders, making sure to maintain eye contact. Each stroke was deeper and deeper. Faster and faster. He was getting desperate. I don’t know how much more my inexperienced pussy can handle. He takes his thumb and gently rubs my clit. Ugh, I have never felt this sort of sensation before, being fucked at the same time.

My moans became more uncontrollable and my legs started to close in. “Fuckkkkk Jakey I am about to cum” I am on the verge of tears, overstimulated with pleasure. The pressure on my clit mixed with the repeated abuse of my cervix was enough to drive me over the edge. “Mmmmm yes doll, cum on my cock” he says lowly. My walls tighten around him and my hips are shaking. My heart is beating at 1000bpm, not a coherent thought left in my fucked-dumb mind. He practically has to pry my legs apart to maintain access to my slit. He holds my hips in place as he gives me a few more strokes. His became less and less powerful.

Once he felt his orgasm coming, he quickly pulled out of me, letting out a loud groan, and shot his strings of white cum all over my tummy and chest. The room was filled with loud pants and the scent of sex. “You are all I have ever wanted” I reach up to tuck his hair behind his ear, not minding the fact that his face was soaked. We rest our foreheads together and rub our noses across each other as we both try to catch our breath.

After a second of recovery, He runs to the bathroom and grabs a rag to clean me up. I could barely move my body, my entire entity was more than sore. It hurt to move, all I could do is lay there. Jake returns with a cold washcloth, and starts wiping off my stomach. “Do you need help getting cleaned up babe?” he asks, sitting down beside me, his arm around my naked torso. “Could we take a bath together?” I suggested.

A bath together after the fact is far more intimate, and could give us some time to talk things over. “Of course” and smiles. “I can go get it set up right now, darling, you just rest for a few minutes” He gives me a kiss on the nose and forehead before heading to run the faucet.

~~~~~~~~~~

I don’t know how I could let this happen. I lay on my bed rerunning all of the events writhing the last hour in my head. I really don’t know why we both allowed it to go that far. I admit, I loved every second of it, but now that it’s over, we have to deal with the effects.

Jake comes back from running the faucet. He looks tired. Maybe a bath is something we both need. “Come here sweetheart” he brings a towel and sets it on the counter.

The bathroom mirror was completely fogged over. “Are you trying to make soup out of us?” I said jokingly. “I know you like taking your showers hot, so I thought maybe it would be the same for baths” he chuckled.

I dip my toes into the half full tub. Jake was right, the temperature was just how I liked it. I held onto his shoulder as I submerge my other foot. The water lapped over the rim of the bath tub.

I keep hold onto his hand so he can guide himself into the tub, taking a lot more balance and tolerance for him to try to get used to the boiling water. “God damn, you like it hot hot” he teases though I can see him furrowing his eyebrows at the heat.

“Oh don’t be such a baby” I tease him right back. He pouts playfully. I love seeing that kind of reaction from him. “I don’t mind” he mumbles in embarrassment, trying to hide the smile on his face.

Once his feet were able to get used to the water, we both slowly sat the rest of our bodies into the tub. Jakes hair is a mess, it’s going in all different directions. I reach out to tuck some of it behind his ears for him, and then cup his face in my palm. I stroke his cheek with my thumb. He tilts his head, there he goes with those irresistible puppy dog eyes again.

“What’s wrong baby?” he asks. I remain in eye contact with him. “Were you being serious? When you said you have dreamt about… that…?”

He’s silent. So much blood rushing to his face his cheeks are like strawberries. He scratched the back of his head. “I mean yeah… why wouldn’t I” he hesitated.

“I mean look at you, you are insanely attractive and we live together and have known each other forever. Of course my mind is going to wonder. It has wondered many more times than I would like to admit.” he explained himself.

Unintentionally, our bodies kept inching towards each other in that bath. I am some how a mere 6 inches away from his face. “Why haven’t you ever told me how you felt?”

“Because I was scared on how it would change our friendship”…. he had the exact same fear as I did. He was also afraid of losing one of his best friends. “If I tell you how I feel, you might think it’s weird or something” he whispers into my ear. “No I will understand, we have known each other our whole lives. How would it be weird?” I say softly.

He hesitates once again, and I can hear his heart start to pound. He closes the gap between us and rests his forehead on mine. “There is so much you don’t know” He breathes, still looking deep into my eyes. His words caused a flicker of anxiety inside of me. “There is so much I want to know about you, darling” I reassure.

“Well for starters I never thought this thing between us would become anything more than just friends” he confesses. It is hard for him to admit such things, but he has to show me that I matter more than he thinks. “It scares me, and I’m sorry that I let it go too far. I guess it’s because I’ve been waiting so long, and everything has changed so fast” he explained, he still had this worried look on his face like I were going to shut everything down. Everything had changed so fast.

“You have to stop worrying so much about me. You can trust me, okay? I’ll never judge or hate you or think any differently of you. All I want is for us to enjoy our first time together and enjoy each other. I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you are to me”. I caress his face with my hands.

A small smile graces his features while he gazes back into my eyes. I lean forward and capture him in a long passionate kiss. Our lips moving in sync, tasting each others taste as if it was our first time doing it. We pull away and stare at each other. He places both of his palms on either side of my face, leaning in even closer. I place my lips in line with his.

My fingers run through his soaked hair, though I don’t know if it use from sweat or from water. “Jakey, if I am going to be honest, I have been feeling the same way. On nights where we don’t sleep in the same bed, I find myself getting less sleep and craving your warmth. I don’t regret anything that’s happened between us tonight. Admittedly, I have been wanting to do that with you for so long” I started ranting.

“When you were making love to me I felt like I was floating away and it felt so good I just wanted to stay here forever, like nothing else mattered. There wasn’t anything I wanted more than to stay in this moment forever with you, but we both know that isn’t possible.” he continues, his voice cracking.

“Making love?” I chuckle. Such an interesting word choice. “Be quiet” he pushes back. “I’m just joking, but I agree”

He was clearly getting tired, letting out a yawn and fighting the force of his eyelids trying to close. “We should get to bed” I suggest. We soak the last few moments of the now comfortably hot water and get out of the tub. “You better not get water all over the floor, Jake” HE ALWAYS DOES THAT.

He grabs a towel for me and and one for himself and he wraps mine around my whole body width and pulls me for a hug. “I am glad we took a bath together sweetheart, try to get some rest” he whispers, and leaves an innocent kiss on my forehead.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next few weeks consisted of school, work, and sleeping in the same bed with Jake pretty much every single night. We would exchange passionate kisses and I would bathe him when he was too tired from work or hanging out with Jay. And he would do the same for me. We never went as far to have sex again. We weren’t scared but we felt like we should wait.

We are on our way back to Australia for fall break. Jake will finally get to see his parents and I will get to see mine. We get to have a whole week without having to worry about responsibilities. Which I know both of us desperately need. We touch down in Australia around maybe 3pm on the first Saturday of the break. We only brought carry on luggage for convenience and time.

“Have everything?” He questioned me as we were getting out of our seats. “I think so” I smile, so excited to see my parents. We arranged for Jake’s mom to pick us up from the airport. She had a large SUV able to fit all of our stuff comfortably. Once we passed through all of the security and customs, Jake calls her to see where she is parked. On speaker I hear her say “9 rows down from the south enterance” she explains. “Thanks mom, see you in a sec” Jake says about to hang up the phone. “Thank you Mrs Sim” I make sure she hears before he presses the red button.

We hurry to get out of the packed airport so meet up with his mom. The weather was cold and misty and it was hard to see. When we finally arrived outside the south enterance, we could hardly believe what we saw. Layla comes up running at full sprint in me and Jake’s direction. She jumped up onto bother of us, layering our faces and arms with slobbery licks and he tail wagging so hard it may as well had fallen off.

Once Layla was all calmed down we put our luggage into the trunk. We swing up the door and the vehicle seems oddly empty. “Where is dad?” Jake questioned his mom. “He is getting worse…. he wasn’t able to make it today, I had to take him back to the hospital last night” she explained. I could already see the heart break in his eyes. “Oh” We packed everything up and his mom offered for me to sit in the front seat. Honestly, I wanted to sit in the back seat and comfort Jake, so I made up the excuse that Layla should sit in the front.

The mood in the car ride home was off. I don’t know if it was from the weather or his fathers health but Jake was not as energetic as he was before. I know he doesn’t deserve everything happening to his dad so I will just try to support him through it.

~~~~~~~~~~

I never really gave it much thought, but the more I put the pieces together, I think maybe the reason Jake is so insistent on getting black out drunk with Jay on the weekends may have to do with his father.

Jake has never in his life had a healthy coping mechanism. I remember a lot through out grade school, he would feel guilty or take blame for things that were not his fault, just to mediate the situation. When he did this, he did not react to the discipline very well, but it seems like he would much rather face conveniences than to start an argument over the original problem.

Jake let a lot of people take advantage of him, and it is still something that we have to work on, but knowing the situation with his dad, I know he has a lot more things to worry about now that usual.

Many of the people excluding his parents are alcoholics, any family event we went to together, the main thing being passed around was a bottle. When we were younger, things made him build resentment towards them but the older we got, the more willing he was to try alcohol, only adding more and more each time until he is where he is at now.

Jay isn’t the type of friend to stop this behavior either. I will never understand why Jake is such good friends with him cause he never seems to have the best intentions or good interest in mind. I can’t be the one to tell him that they should stop being friends cause at the end of the day, Jake’s relationship with alcohol won’t be healed in a split second.

~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing really eventful happened over the span of the after noon, the rain put everything to a halt. I slept in the guest bed in Jake’s house for the first night but was unable to fall asleep for the majority of the night. Jake’s mom rushed into the room around 1:30 am.

“Hey are you awake? We have to go the hospital, it’s my husband. Please wake up Jake while I grab the keys” She said with an extremely shaken voice full of urgency. I shoot out of the bed and put my shorts back on and practically run down the hallway to Jake’s room. It is locked. I bang on the door frantically. “Jake! Jake get up now we have to go” I echo through the door. Quickly after he swings open his door with his shirt in his hand, in the middle of putting it on.

The SUV was already started when we got out the front door and we ran to get into the car and soon as we sat down she reversed and tried to explain. “He slipped into a coma. They said they are trying everything to get him to wake up but they have no idea why it happened because he was in decent shape before” she says with tears forming in her eyes.

I reach up to the front seat to scratch her shoulder to try and calm her. I don’t think there is anything someone can do in this situation to calm someone in this much distress down but I tried. She is going dangerously fast down the highway. I know that she has been working hard to keep them afloat and thing we’re starting to get better. After that I couldn’t stand to listen anymore and closed my eyes hoping that by some miracle she wouldn’t end up killing us.

After what seemed like hours we reached the hospital and were quickly taken to another private room where we could talk with him alone. Of course his dad wasn’t going to be able to say anything. But Jake still wanted him to listen. He took his fathers hand a caressed his palm with his fingers while he said what he needed to say. Once he was done, I gave Jake a hug as his red face were completely covered in tears.

“He will be okay, I promise” I reassured him. We walked out of the room to discover his mom sitting next to the window, face completely void of emotion. He hasn’t spoken a word since we have gotten here.

“You know…. he was really excited for you both to come back. He was practically counting down the days” she admitted, wiping a tear from here eye. “I was so excited with him” she added. Her words shatter my heart. How is she not screaming in anger right now. Angry at the world for doing this to her innocent husband. That was something I admired about her. She was always able to contain her emotions well, almost too well.

Seeing both her and Jake in this state was absolutely terrible. I knew it would only take a miracle to fix this given his dads condition. “It’ll all be okay, Jake, don’t cry” I assure him. “It won’t, how am I supposed to deal with this? How am I supposed to go back to school without seeing him, talking to him… it hurts” “There is still a chance that he will make it Jake, don’t give up on it. I know he wants you to wait for him”

He couldn’t say anything, all he could do was bury his face into my shoulder and sob. He tried to form words, but they were only choked noises which caused him to cry even harder. “Shh its okay, I am here” I assure him. Me, Jake and his mom spent the night in the hospital. His mom slept in the room with his dad and me and Jake slept in a guest waiting room. Well, I was the only one who was able to get some sleep. Jake was up all night worrying about his father. I could hear him crying as I were trying to fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks had passed and his fathers condition remained the same, and to be honest, Jake and his mom seemed like they kind of accepted that this was the way that things were going to be.

We were back at the house, his mom would just go to work and lock herself in her room until she had to go to work again and Jake and I were preparing to go back to Korea for the Winter semester.

Mrs Sim did not want to see us leave, and she made it very clear. We were her last hope with everything going on with her husband. I really wish me and Jake could stay back to support her but we have jobs and bills that we have to get back to, and life can’t just pause for us. We promised we would let her know how we are feeling, how much we missed each other and everything else that went along with saying goodbye.

We leave in 3 days, and we made it our mission to hang out with his mom as much as we could before we left. She hasn’t taken a break either… no time to her self she just has to keep working to pay for the house and the piling medical bills.

Those last few days, we took Mrs. Sim out for lunch at her favorite Thai restaurant. She seemed to genuinely smile for the first time in weeks as we joked and reminisced about times when all 4 of us were together. One night, we rented some classic movies she loved and made her favorite snacks. We cuddled up on the couch, enjoying the familiar feeling of just being together as a family again, if only briefly.

Jake and I helped around the house as much as we could - running errands, doing yard work, and cooking meals to give his mom a little respite. We made sure to soak in every moment because we didn't know when we'd all be together like that again.

~~~~~~~~~~

When it came time for our early morning departure back to Korea, Mrs. Sim took us both in for a tight hug, her eyes brimming with tears. "Take care of each other," she whispered hoarsely.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Jake grabs our suitcases out of the trunk and his mom pulls me to the side.

“Please promise to take care of him for me. You have always been a safe place for him, I can only imagine how he has been feeling” she begged. I held bother of her hands in the palms of mine. “I promise, Mrs Sim, I will do everything in my power to take care of him, don’t worry. You have other things to worry about” I reassure her pulling her into a hug.

Layla climbs through the back of the car from the front seat and jumps out of the trunk to say good bye, jumping all over me and Jake just like when we first arrived. “Yes you’re such a good girl” he scruffs up her ears while giving her a kiss on the forehead. I gave Layla some belly rubs before his mom guided her back into the car.

“Please text me when you board, and call me when you land, I need to know that the two of you are safe.” said his mom. “Of course” we pulled her into one last hug. “I love you guys” she sobbed “I love you too” we said in unison as we walked towards to enterance, leaving his mom in the parking lot.

~~~~~~~~~~

The ride back home was hard for Jake. 10 hours of restlessness. The only time I saw Jake act kind of okay was at our layover in Manila. I tried to leave him be for most of the trip.

-

We landed at the airport in Seoul and made our way back through customs and immigration, I swear the process of getting out of the airport is more stressful than planing a trip itself. We load our things into my car, missing the excitement that Layla brought to the car ride.

Before we got into the car, Jake comes behind me and turns me around into a hug. “I am really worried about her… my parents have been together for so long I can’t imagine how she would react with out him” he cried into my arms. “Your mom is a strong woman, I know it. She has you and I know she will be able to get through it.” I rub his back and lay my head into the crook of his neck.

I walk him over to his door and open it, letting him get into is and rest, we still had a 45 minute drive back to our place. I just let him ‘rest’ his eyes the whole way and I sat in silence trying not to wake him. The ride was bumpy, or maybe I was more aware of my surroundings not given that Jake wasn’t talking my ear off the whole time. I don’t mean it as a bad thing but he does a great job at keeping me company in the car. But that element was absent this time.

We were outside of our house quicker than expected. Jake was still fast asleep, he looked up he most peaceful than I have seen him these past few weeks I really did not want to wake him up. “Jakey we’re here” I whisper and gently grip his shoulder. He groans. He untucks his arms from under his shirt and rubs his eyes, trying to adjust to the light.

We make way up to the door, he didn’t bother grabbing anything out of the car but I was completely okay with grabbing everything if it meant he would get some rest. As soon as we stepped in the door, he took off his shoes and hurried to his bedroom, he didn’t ever bother changing his clothes before plopping onto his bed in pure exhaustion.

I found myself following him to the bed and sitting on the edge and grazing his back with my fingernails. My hands made way up to his hair and I combed his strands with my fingers. He turns over to lay on his back and I sit and admire his beautiful face while his eyes are closed. So peaceful. I couldn’t fight the urge to lean down and give his a soft peck before heading back to the car.

He didn’t seem to mind, his lips were soft as they instantly melted into mine for a few seconds. He didn’t seem supprised or shocked at all. He made it feel natural. “Thank you” he said, barely audible. I leaned in for another kiss, a smile building on my face as our lips met. No verbal response was needed, my smile against his spoke for itself.

~~~~~~~~~~

We had gotten back into our normal work and school schedule following the break. I still was not seeing Jake as much as I would like and it seems like I was getting less and less information by the day on his dad, which worried me. I tried to call Mrs Sim every single day to check in and get updates, as well as update her on mine and Jake’s life. She treated me like a friend. Like a daughter. I am very thankful to be accepted by her in that way.

Jake was clearly getting more stressed with work and school and I couldn’t figure out a way to ease the stress for him, all I could do was hope that it wouldn’t end up being too much.

Mrs Sim told me briefly once while we were on a phone call that me and her call way more often that her and Jake do. Jake has always been a texter and his Mom simply had to deal with not hearing her baby boys voice as often as she would like, which is why it was weird when me and Jake were laying in my bed around 11pm and his phone starts ringing.

Both of us were on the verge of falling asleep and the light from his phone screen made the situation more uncomfortable. At first Jake just reached over and turned off the ringer.

“Hey did you even see who it was? What if it was important” I question his instinct to end the call. “Fine let me look” he groans.

He reached over and grabs his phone and looks at the screen ‘Mom’ is what it read. “Answer it!” I urged him. Jake was hesitant. I think he thought that this was going to be the call, which he has been preparing to avoid at all costs.

Instead of letting the line go to voicemail, I snatch the phone out of his hand and answer if myself. “Hello Mrs Sim, is everything alright?”

“I am so glad to hear your voice. Is Jake around? It is important. Put it on speaker” she said.

“You’re on speaker” I informed her.

“Jake, your father is home, I picked him up about an hour ago. The doctor said that septic shock caused him to go into the coma, and they were able to treat the infection and keep him steady with some blood and IV fluids. He woke up yesterday and has shown no signs of complication ever since. I will take him back in a few days for testing and a check up. They saved him Jake… They saved him.” His mother explained ecstatically, crying tears of happiness.

Jake’s face immediately lit up, with what I could see from the light of the phone screen. He instantly started crying.

“Baby I wish you were here right now. he misses you so much” he claimed.

Jake couldn’t even speak through his tears and his hitched breathing. “I love you so much mom, tell dad I love him and I will see him soon”

He sets the phone down and buries his face into my chest, letting out full on sobs. the toll that this situation has taken on his body physically and mentally was very obvious and I know he has been wanting good news.

~~~~~~~~~~

Weeks had passed and we came back to Australia for the Winter break. Jake was more excited than ever. When he saw his dad get out of the car at the airport, I had never see Jake run so fast in my life. Their hug seemed like it was out of a movie and he had been latched to his dad everyday since being back at his house.

His parents kind of picked up on me and Jake’s relationship, and didn’t question why I was wanting to sleep in Jake’s room and not the guest room any more.

We were laying there facing each other, admiring each others beauty in the dim moon light shining through the blinds.

“Tell me Jake, do you believe in fate?” I questioned lowly.

He looks somewhat startled. “Y’know, I have never really thought about that. After everything that has happened this year, I think I would say that I do” he confirmed, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

jake mopes on the couch, rewatching ‘friends’ until you come back, with a small smile gracing your oh-so-pretty face. he immediately springs up, helping you with your coat and asking where you’ve been, even if he knows.

“i was with sunoo.” you respond simply. He drills you with questions, laced with concern but hidden with a curiosity that could only stem from his feelings for you. “we went out to eat something small, and had some ice cream, that’s all. I was fine, don’t even worry- he drove me home and waited until i texted him anyway.” jake feels his role by your side becoming smaller, and he takes a slow breath, hoping that with his exhale goes the negative feelings he has about being competition. 

“we were supposed to watch how to lose a man in ten days.” he complains, and you laugh, his voice sounding dejected. you shove him towards your bedroom, telling him that there’s still time to watch one of your favorite films of all time. 

“but you’re tired.” he takes a step closer, examining the way your eyes lose energy as the day goes on as an eventual sign of your dwindling social battery. 

“doesn’t mean I don’t want to watch with you.” you retort, opening your bedroom door and setting up the movie on your laptop. his eyes shine with worry as he carefully watches how you move. the way your feet drag, how you slowly thumb through a set of pajamas, and the look you give when you need to change.

but if jake is anything, he is weak- and to spend more time with you, his darling girl, is his kryptonite. 

you both slip under the sheets, and it’s something he convinces himself is normal when you first started becoming roommates. when you were first told about how your friend knew someone who’d be a perfect roommate, you weren’t expecting jake, but he assured you that jake has always been an angel, and if anything happens, for you to give him a call or text immediately. it was never necessary, and your friend was right, jake proved to be a perfect roommate as time went on. 

albeit, maybe a little too perfect, because with the way you’re resting on his shoulder and with the gentle way he combs through your hair, you wonder if it’s all in typical roommate fashion. you fall asleep before you can wonder if the way he pulls you closer, shutting off the lights and shutting your laptop is all in the guide to be a good roommate, or if he’s doing these things because he’s reading a different guide;

the guide to making the roommate- the same one you’ve had a crush on- your girlfriend.

you wake up to your laptop shut on your table, and the knot in your neck helps you realize you fell asleep in the wrong position. when you come out of the bathroom, you see jake buttering toast and cutting up the strawberries you begged him to buy at the market a week ago. you both hope that no mold has grown on them. 

“how did you sleep?” he asks, plopping a strawberry in his mouth. you shrug, still trying to stretch out the tight feeling in your muscles. 

“here,” he motions, a piece of toast between his lips as he walks up behind you. you know how attentive jake is to the little things, and the gentle way he presses at the junction of your shoulder blade and neck only proves your beliefs further. you always have appreciated him for the silent way he cares, and now, more than ever. the crunch of his toast as he momentarily pauses makes you laugh, turning around as he also smiles as he eats. you reach up, wiping the crumbs from his lips, and his eyes follow the movement without fail. he’s not sure how you two were so close, and how the white winter sun makes you look so angelic, but he doesn’t move out of place until you’re out of sight, thanking him for the slice of toast as you leave to get ready for the day. 

he thinks that things have been the same for both of you, but suddenly, something changes his course, and his heart thumps in his ears, as if it’s possible that he’s fallen for you more. 

the second time you have to rain check is finals- and he gets it, truly. your psychology class isn’t going to pass itself, and yet, his heart sinks like an anchor at sea when you pout and show him the 89 term quizlet you’re forced to study for the upcoming week. 

“I really wish i could-“ you promise, genuine remorse in your gaze (and yes, jake’s forgiven you immediately). “I tried to study last night at the library to make sure we could finish queen of tears, but god, i feel like i know nothing.” jake understands with a silent nod, and does his best to put your feelings first. “after my final, i’ll be off- plus, you have your calculus final tomorrow morning anyways, right?” internally, jakes eyes turn into hearts, melting at the way you remember. 

“multivariable calculus, yes, at 10.” he sighs, dreading the imminent test but confident in his ability to pass. he sighs, scrolling through his calendar despite there being no assignments due. 

“if i help you out, can we watch after your final?” you swivel from your chair to face him lounging on your bed. he’s in a white t-shirt and jeans, an obvious outside outfit on your sheets. you glare at him, but don’t say anything. 

still, the proposition interests you. “how are you even going to help me out?” 

“i took this class last year, remember?” 

right. “why would you even want to? psych’s like- not your cup of tea at all.” 

jake responds without thinking, “i don’t mind it if it means we can spend time together.” 

you both freeze, and the comfortable conversation stills. you spin back around, picking at the corner of your paper, nervously trying to find a deeper meaning in his words. “okay.” you mumble, and jake doesn’t take your change in disposition to heart, more worries over how you’ll perceive him if he’s too clingy. 

“and,” he adds, standing up from your bed. “i want to see what happens. we need to finish the drama- the episode came out three days ago, and i think if i keep seeing edits, i’m going to say ‘fuck it’ and watch it myself.” 

without turning around, you snort. “yeah, yeah. you would never watch an episode without me there.” 

and you’re right, painfully so. jake closes your door, burying his face in his hands in embarrassment. 

the next day, he keeps his promise, dragging you to his room to find a scraggly pile of handwritten psych assignments you’re confused as to why he even has. when you voice your concerns for his paper hoarding, he shrugs, retorting how it helps you regardless. 

you lean against his blue pillows, crossing your legs as he sits back in his chair and asks you questions. 

he reads off another question, pausing before letting you know it’s incorrect. “mmm, not really.” he tells you, glancing up. he leans over, pointing to the part in the textbook he’s been using as studying material, and you hear the tiredness in his voice with how low he speaks. jake is gentle; the way he looks at you understanding the text is no different, and his heart thuds painfully against his ribcage. he continues, no matter how much he wants to go to sleep, and by the time he’s finished explaining everything you’ve missed (which wasn’t even much) you both cheer to realize you’ve finished slide 89/89. you jump up from his bed, wrinkling his bedsheets as you envelope him in a tight hold. 

“thank you.” you tell him sincerely, arms looped around his neck as jake is quick to hug you back. you feel his head rest on your shoulder, and your heart warms with adoration. 

“of course, ____.”

you pause, thinking about whether or not you should still continue with your plans. “you’re tired.” you state the obvious. “and I don’t want to watch something if you need to go sleep.” 

he rolls his eyes, motioning to you to scoot over so he can join you. “we always do this on a saturday so we can sleep in on sunday.” he comments, getting his laptop. you shake your head.

“it’s different, jake. this time, you’re tired and I don’t want to wake you up to make you brush your teeth or whatever.” he hears the playful lilt in your voice, and scoffs. 

“you just don’t want to watch with me anymore!” he accuses, cracking a smile as he shoves you.

with widened eyes, you shake your head, teasing him about how he jumps to conclusions so quickly. “i would never, jake.” you meet his gaze with sincerity. “i love to spend time with you. always.” 

if things stay in motion like this, without any rain checks or ice cream dates, jake thinks he likes this course of inertia much better- just you and him. 

law two: force = mass x acceleration

to simply put it, jake sleeping in your bed will suffocate you sooner or later. despite being very smart, jake doesn’t realize that muscles means added mass, and the more he works out, the higher the chances of you dying from the incapability to breathe. 

it starts with jake asking if he can sleep beside you, since the heater never reaches his room despite said room being a grand nine feet away from yours. you highly doubt his excuse, but you choose not to find out if it really is the cold abyss your roommate swears it is. he also tells you that he likes your light blue sheets with daisies on it, which is something that seems pretty plausible, and you’re swayed by his earnest compliments. when you asked why, a question spoken into the dark of your room, jake immediately responded by telling you that the holidays are the perfect time to grab a buddy and spread the holiday cheer. with a shove at his shoulder, he defends himself, saying that he wakes up earlier than you, so you wouldn’t have to even worry about seeing him in the morning. 

that last part was true, jake was always extremely efficient with his time, and it meant you were sometimes waking up to a pan dropping in the kitchen during his kitchen ventures. but today? he seemed to be the opposite. 

when the sun shines high in the sky, with your clock reading a time past 10am, you finally wake up. trying to brush the hair out of your face, you really start to pay attention to the way his breath fans your shoulder blade, and how almost half of his body weight was on top of yours. you were both people who enjoyed skinship, and your friendship was solid enough where you knew you weren’t uncomfortable, but it was the surprise of ending up entangled with someone who, last night, refused to get closer out of personal space. 

“jake.” you call, tapping his shoulder. you can barely move, shuffling around as you watch him shuffle around under the sheets, his hands wandering to pull you closer. “jake!” 

you don’t get much time to really admire him like his. his hair, all messy, had been undoubtedly better the more it grows out, and you’ve seen him put it in a ponytail- a new style that maybe you liked more than you’d like to admit. his bangs rest on the planes of his cheekbones, and you suck in a breath at how effortlessly angelic he looks in the morning sun. 

truth be told, it brings you comfort to know how he subconsciously trusts you to scoot closer and eventually cling to you in his sleep. 

jake’s eyes flutter open, and he slowly blinks without registering how close you are. you make eye contact, and your lazy stare flutters to closed eyes as you get comfortable on your pillow. yes, jake makes it a little hard to breathe, but in the end, it’s not that bad. 

“i thought you said you wake up early.” you comment. jake swats at your face lightly, and a giggle escapes as you fight his hand. “it’s the holidays.” he says, a poor excuse as to why he hasn’t gotten up. he looks at you again, taking in your mock annoyance and smiling. “let me hold you, yeah?” he mumbles absentmindedly, still half consumed by the morning lethargy. 

  your heart skips a little, and you feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you try not to let jake’s sleepy comments get to you. he doesn’t mean it, you tell yourself, but his sleepy words are sober thoughts, and you try not to think about the deeper meaning. jake has the brightest smiles and the kindest of hearts, so much so that it makes his hugs warm and his comfort like a cozy embrace. and you really really try not to think about what he’s saying, because jake cares for all of his friends, so much so that his words are always filled to the brim with love. and despite knowing all of this, despite knowing that jake is one of the best wonderful people you know, you can’t help but think about if it were romantic, if you two barely crossed the boundary to be just a little more. plus, you’re basically there. it’s in the way no boy comes up to you, not because you’re not wanted, but because everyone assumes that the boy with the australian accent and arm around your shoulder is the love of your life; and everyone says you look at him that way. it’s in the way he texts you to come back to the apartment because it’s empty without you, or the way he’s currently falling back asleep on your shoulder, his arm secured around your waist. and you refuse to believe that it’s anything more than friendship. you’re almost positive he feels the same, but still, somewhere inside of your heart yearns for it not to be true. 

your rapidly beating heart accelerates, and if you two weren’t friends, it’d be like you were forced to fall in love with jake. 

before you leave for the holidays, you promise jake one more movie, as a make-up for the few days you two weren’t able to properly finish your movie nights. finally, it’s time to watch ‘how to lose a guy in ten days.’ 

“it’s not even a christmas special.” jake says as you type in the pirated site. you roll your eyes, elbowing the nearest part of him. 

“it doesn’t have to be a christmas movie. you can’t even name a good christmas rom-com!” 

he racks his brain, truly trying to find a movie that lives up to the expectations of one of the best rom-coms to exist. “fine. i guess we can watch this movie then.” and he pulls the blanket up in retaliation. you turn to him with a scowl, but he pretends not to notice. 

when the movie starts playing, you make an effort to snatch his phone away, leaving it on your bedside as his attention diverts to the illuminated screen. “you’re going to love it.” you say offhandedly, watching how kate hudson and matthew mcconaughey immerse themselves in their roles. 

you turn to jake, making sure he’s thoroughly paying attention. 

“what?” he grins, his arm wrapping around you to rest on your waist. “I’m watching, don’t worry.” 

you click the space bar. “tell me what happens, then.” you raise an eyebrow, waiting to hear his perfect retelling of the film so far. 

“well, her fake therapist friend tells them to go meet his family, and everyone loves her off the get go. They play that card game and everyone helps her cheat, but she finds out that he’s never taken a girl home before. thinking about it, they were definitely in love with each other from the start. like, the way he looks at her in that entire movie! trust me, they’re in love.” 

“oh,” you turn, a teasing smile on your features. “and you’re a love expert?” 

jake suddenly losing focus on the movie, looking at the way you wait for his answer. he’s breathless, licking his lips nervously as he sends you a quick nod. “i know what it looks like to be in love.” he responds plainly when he returns his attention to the screen, his hand around your waist suddenly feeling clammy. 

you hum, glancing over to your right again. “and what does that look like?” 

the way I look at you. he thinks. instead, he shrugs. “like they hold the world in their hands.” 

your eyes sparkle, interested in his answer but too invested in the film to press further. 

“cliche.” and you’re awfully aware of the hand that rests against the fabric of your shirt, left to wonder if this is what it means to be in love. 

when the finale finishes and the screen fades to black, you let the end credits roll to tell him about your thoughts. sentences that start with “to be honest” followed with something strongly worded, and sentences praising certain scenes reach his ears as he listens quietly. your gaze never leaves the screen as you collect your thoughts, and your head never leaves his shoulder. when your roommate doesn’t add on, you look up at him, and from the shift, jake turns to make eye contact with you. “what?” he says softly.

“you didn’t say anything.” you almost whisper. the enchanting glow of the laptop screen makes his small chuckle just a little bit more attractive, and for yet another time, you glance at his lips, hoping he doesn’t notice. 

“i answered you earlier.” he whines, rubbing his eye. 

“doesn’t count.” he cracks a smile at your bickering, and sighs. 

“i agree with everything you have to say, princess. always have.” your stomach stirs, butterflies rustling around as you make it obvious how much you’ve been staring at his lips. “what’s wrong, angel?” he plays oblivious as he shifts so you two are facing each other. your eyes are drooped, the sleep making you slip into new and equally as dangerous territory. the corner of his lip pulls into a charm smile, and you feel your heartstrings tug so badly with the rapid of your rushing heart. you glance back at him, meeting his warm gaze before shifting a little closer. 

and maybe jake’s hand immediately tightens at your waist, and maybe his eyes flutter shut as his other hand cups your jaw. and maybe, as the cliche song plays over a rolling list of names in the background, you kiss your best friend- the feeling leaving your heart jumping and your ears hot. your hands reach up, your thumb tracing his cheek as he pulls you closer. you pull back, eyes shining with content and so many unspoken feelings, and he looks at you, full of love. and you realize that this is what he means- that andie anderson and ben barry may have just been acting, but the smile he gives you is anything but. 

you giggle, pulling him back to kiss him just once more- or maybe twice, and you’re selfish in the way you hold him, wanting of him all to yourself. 

and maybe, just maybe, jake sim likes you back.

law three: every action has an equal opposite reaction. 

yes, every action has an equal and opposite reaction; so it hangs as an unspoken truth in the sky that jake likes you as much as you do- but you never took physics, and you leave the apartment early the next morning. it’s saturday, yes, and all of your finals were done, but you usually always stay for just a bit longer, relishing in the winter air before detangling yourself with college and finally heading back home. the university holds an ice skating event for free around this time anyways, and in the few years that you two have been roommates, you’ve dragged him along with you. you were nothing like his somewhat skilled friends, but jake still reveled in your smiles and shaky yelps every time you were off balance. 

off-balance. that’s how things were. 

you haven’t responded to his texts, and he’s stuck pacing around the kitchen wondering what he could’ve done wrong. you leave every text unanswered, and a voicemail for every call. 

nonetheless, jake tries again- desperate.

“hi-“ you say, in a breathless fleeting manner. “i’m busy-“

“no ___, you can’t just kiss me-“ the line ends, and you feel your heart beat fast again, like how it does every time you think about that december night. 

on the other line, jake lets out another sigh, his heart twisting with worry. it’s an ugly and unexplainable feeling truly, how he’s worried you’ve toyed with his heart, but how if you kissed him again, it would soothe any wrinkles in his timeline- and that all his feelings would go back to being in love, and he’d be okay with it. jake would rewrite the stars, hanging the moon in the sky and undoing everything if it meant going back to then, with his palm pressed against your skin, his lips on yours, and his heart nestled within your hands, bound to whatever fate you would give him. and jake is desperate to read between the lines, finding himself going insane the more he lays there in the early AM thinking about what all of this means. he wishes he could redo it- so he could experience it just once more, and so he could understand where it went wrong. jake refuses to let you go- at least, not yet. 

despite your efforts to avoid him for the week of christmas and new years, you felt your heart break the longer you left his message unopened, and responded with a sincere ‘happy holidays. stay warm, jake.’ he opens up the text, his heart still doing that weird thing where it uncomfortably beats, with excitement and disappointment all in the same vein. 

and it’s like that for winter break- confused or at least until you come back a week early. you had plans on keeping a small tree in your apartment to add to the holiday spirit even after the holidays, and the box for the tree plus the ornaments had already been stowed away in your room. there’s no way he’s here- he lives hours from campus, and without any new year plans, you’re sure you’ll have the place to yourself. 

you don’t check his location, too consumed to make the drive back to even notice his room has minuscule sound coming from it. the door stays shut, and without any gaps to really see any light, you don’t pay any mind in checking if there’s a sudden intruder. 

the christmas tree slowly gets put together, and you sit with yourself as a show plays on the TV, quiet. it’s as if to not disturb the ambience, and you feel the cinnamon and cold settle within your bones when you throw out some of the plastic packaging. 

“you’re here.”

the cold from your quick excursion, added with the sudden confrontation makes your blood run cold, unable to tear your gaze from the blinking LEDs on the fake evergreen tree you’ve put up. 

“yeah, i guess so.” you say, unable to really conjure anything else up. you refuse to look him in the eye, afraid you’ll be faced with indisputable anger, resentment, and the confusion, the same feelings you had when at your own home. you’re afraid that the way you hate yourself for leaving so abruptly, and to ruin such a good thing, is the reason why jake suddenly doesn’t want you back anymore. that- because of your inability to accept that you love someone who’s so out of your league, you’ve let a good thing fizzle out. 

there’s no cold in the apartment- the heater already being set to a cozy temperature, and yet the goosebumps on your skin prove otherwise. it’s biting, chilly almost, the way you both stand there, unsure of what to say. 

it’s uncomfortable, and the silence leaves a hopeless feeling in your chest; one that screams that you two truly weren’t as meant to be as you thought. 

“why?” he breathes.

“why..why what?”

“why’d you leave after all that happened?” 

your eyes widen, scrambling your brain to find a lie to give before you give up, opting to simply tell the truth. you’ve hurt him once by leaving, an action that you truly have no excuse for. it’s winter, you lie to yourself. you rehearse in your head to tell him that you missed your family, and couldn’t wait to go home. it’s all lies, and jake’s no more than a polygraph test in human form. 

plus, you couldn’t lie to him- not after all the hurt. 

“jake- you’re everything, you’re perfect, you deserve more than me. you deserve more to a girlfriend than a roommate who rushes to pay rent, someone who doesn’t leave curling irons on in the bathroom, a girlfriend who doesn’t phone you at night because she doesn’t have anyone else. you don’t need someone to rely on you the way i just do- 

“maybe loving you is the worst decision anyone could ever make. maybe, yeah, i don’t deserve you walking out, avoiding me for two weeks, missing my messages, calls, or notes. maybe i could do better.” he starts, and you feel your heart sinking, knowing that it’d be for the better if it wasn’t you, but wishing so desperately that it could be. “maybe that’s the case, but i’m never going to be happy if i keep looking for better. I don’t hate you because you almost burned down the building, or if you stressed out about rent, and all of these other things that i can’t even remember we talked about.” jake lets out a dry chuckle, trying to remember anything bad about you, but falling short. “the point is, ____, that you can’t make that decision for me. what’s the point in trying to find more when all i’ve ever wanted is you?” 

his eyes scan your expression, desperate for an answer as the quiet prolongs. the fresh tears that make way to your eyes springs him into action, and he’s quick to use his long sleeve to pat away your tears. “shh, don’t cry, angel. it’s okay, i understand.” his words replace the icy feeling in your body, and replaces it slowly with the hope that things really are as okay as he says they are. you nod, hugging him as apologies and explanations fall from your lips. 

“i still have feelings for you.” he promises, and his words envelop you in comfort and solace. it teeters between like and love, unable to have ever gotten as close as couples do, but also knowing it’s so much more than a small crush on a roommate. there’s nothing temporary about how he rests his head on top of yours, holding you close as you ramble. 

“just don’t do anything of the sort again.” he asks, looking at you with adoration. “please.” 

your heart breaks a little, and you make a promise to never treat him the way you did, feeling foolish and horrible for what you had done. “i promise.” you nod. and give him a tight hug. 

and things are in balance once again. if every reaction had an equal and opposite reaction, it means that you and jake sim have fallen for each other with equal amounts of force, and wouldn’t have it any other way. 

--

Heeseung retracts his hand from the tips of your ears, folding his arms. And all you can focus on is the way his racing suit clings to the muscles of his arm, ripped biceps and strong build, Heeseung is God and more.

He gives you an unreadable glance, tilting his head in question, “when I lose, a big fat paycheck still goes to your bank, don’t forget that pretty girl.”

The time ticks as the start of qualifying nears, and all that rings in your ears are the words of the reigning world champion — did he really view you as such? A materialistic person who wasn’t sincere about their job? As if you were in it for the money, heck your father could land you a job that paid ten times more than this job would.

And it invigorates you, the way Lee Heeseung thinks he’s all that: the charming charisma of an experienced playboy that he has, you hate it, it pisses you off. Who was he to say such things about you, especially when the both of you had just barely become acquainted.

You watch from your seat, headphones perched prettily on your head as Heeseung stares back at you from inside the iconic red car. And he curses in his mind yet again, for the nth time ever since you arrived. It irked him how his attention seemed to automatically divert to you every time you were in his vicinity, the smell of your perfume brandishing in his mind unwillingly.

He hates the way you look, the way you act as if you actually care, the way you talk so smoothly and controllingly over the radio, the way his heart exhilarates when you praise him for a job well done or when he qualifies for pole position even when it’s such a common occurrence to him.

And most of all he hates how the iconic ferrari red that surrounds his life reminds him of how pretty you look in his team shirt.

Two little voices battled in the back of your mind whenever you were around him, one voice wanting him to take things further while the other found it strange how he did such things so shamelessly.

The boy's got sex written all over him, your friends would warn alongside your Christ-converted step-sister Giselle who'd had her fair share of 'guys like Heeseung' in the past.

But you didn't see him that way. Despite his flirty tendencies, you figured those were just attributes that made him who he is.

Who you've always loved him to be.

However, those Holy, Holy, God Almighty church days were long gone by now, being no more than a distant ninth grade memory to you and most of everyone else who attended back then.

Everyone except Lee Heeseung, who could never shake his adolescent infatuation with you... ____, the girl who accepted his flaws and eventually stole his heart.

You and Heeseung reconnected a few years later by chance, the same day of your one year anniversary on your streaming channel.

Initially, your content consisted of one-hour long broadcasts where you'd just talk with random strangers, hearing out their problems and giving righteous advice.

However, Heeseung became a recurrent visitor on your streams, coaxing you to speak on topics more interesting than whether its modest to wear glam makeup or if kissing should be saved for marriage.

Your channel amassed a whopping 20,000 new followers in the first month of Heesung partnering with you, and its part of what led him to becoming an anticipated guest to your growing fanbase.

A dynamic duo, some commenters would call you two... and much to your parents chagrin, at that.

Off camera, things were the same.

You and Heeseung had grown closer than ever, sacrificing sleep to text each other all night, doing fuck-all on your web streams for hours, and even considering meeting up in person for a broadcast after he shared with you that he still lived in the city.

But then... something changed.

Or more accurately, your overly controlling mother put her foot down.

|Messaging| 💬

Heeseung: So we're not allowed to hang out together this Friday ?

You: Not alone... and honestly, not on the streams anymore, either...

Heeseung: Don't tell me its bc ur shyyyy

You: Nope… pArEnTs ^^

You'd say your mom had it out to get Heeseung more than your dad ever did, resenting the mere mentioning of his name at weekly church gatherings.

"That daughter of yours has gained quite the audience on social media," one womann would say, "too bad she seems to be losing her Faith to that poor Heeseung boy..."

"Such a shame," another would agree, adding to the heat-bubbles boiling in your mother's blood-

"Our faith teaches forgiveness and kindness," you defended yourself, just as your mom gave you maybe her third lecture this week on why you should cut ties with him.

"It also advises caution and wisdom when it comes to who we allow into our social circles," she hummed back, taking a sip of her morning coffee, red lipstick staining the rim of the white mug, "I'd be no better than a fool to sit here and support this meaningless friendship between you and that... man."

You internally rolled your eyes at her words, thinking of something, anything to say in order to change the subject right now.

"Well, I have plans with some friends from church tonight, if you don't mind-"

"Will Heeseung be there?"

"What? No," you lied, and not for the first time, either.

It helped you to feel less guilt whenever you blamed it on the little voice in your head, "Just me and the girls," you clarified.

"Mhm," she smiled facetiously before continuing, "I'm afraid I still can't trust you to go, though... especially not after that little stunt you pulled online..."

Your hand halted at the kitchen countertop as her words settled in your mind, "What stunt?"

FLASHBACK

It all started with a picture.

A stupid picture you got dared to leak by an anonymous tipper who offered a $1,000 donation in exchange for a steamy photo of Heeseung.

Chelbear03: God, he looks so THICK

Chelsea, one of your viewers said in the streaming chat, practically moaning at the photo of Heeseung, biting her lip as if she could feel him inside her just by looking at the screen.

Chelbear03: PAINFUL 😩

pucca_princxss: Need a tissue for your drool, Sea-Sea? 🧻

Danielle, another fan joked.

Chelbear03: Okay, FIRST of all, I have drool coming from TWO holes rn- Secondly, I'd rather just have him lick it up 😔

Chelsea typed back, a nuance to her words that you couldn't tell was meant to be either comical or serious.

"Lick up what?" a curious voice asked from the screen.

That's when your hand flew to cover your mouth, eyes going wide at the sight of Heeseung coming back into frame after saying he'd be "afk for a bit while showering."

His hair was still a bit damp from what you could tell, a towel draped lazily around his neck as your eyes unfortunately fell to the lump hiding behind his pants.

Oh God-

"N-nothing! Uhm... it's not important," you chuckled dryly, only adding to the awkwardness everyone was starting to feel from behind their screens.

pucca_princxss: OOP speak of the papi-

Chelbear03: Please forgive me, Hee-man 🧎‍♀️ ... bc I am disrespectfully foaming at the mouth as we speak-

Chelbear03 has left the stream

A notification of Chelsea having left the stream popped up in the chat almost immediately after she sent that message.

"What was that all about?," Heeseung smirked with confusion, looking between both you and the server comments displayed on his screen for an answer that never came.

"Fine then, keep your secrets... its not like I can't just rewind the stream highlights anyway," he added, just as you felt frantic emotions overcome you.

"Heeseung, you really don't wanna do that, just let me explain-"

His jaw dropped, not necessarily in shock, but with intrigue, the raunchy photo of his semi-hard cock through his sweatpants being displayed on the screen, right before his glossy deer-like eyes.

The same picture he'd only ever sent to you.

"I guess this is my mini Drake moment then," Heeseung chuckled to himself, a heavy sigh escaping your lips at his fortunately chill reaction.

"I did it for 1k, Heeseung, I'm sorry," you whined, pulling your knees up in your chair before burying your face behind them.

"Don't be... everyone already knows I'm your slut at this point," he said in a deeper voice, making you freeze once again as your eyes shot up to view the screen, almost in denial that such words even left his mouth.

anonymous tipper: worst thousand $$$ I ever spent... how abt I multiply the price by two for a sexy picture of the lady ?

yxstar3ject: ooo, but i was thinking maybe a double feature instead ? would luvvv to see how she treats this little slut of hers 🤭

Heeseung snickered so loud, you almost felt it on your skin, watching his facial expressions change with each suspicious message that filled the chat box, throughly entertaining him

"Guys, cut it out before I end the stream," you giggled shyly, revealing your full face that looked a little less flustered than earlier, "Heeseung isn't my slut either, okay? Just a good friend, I swear..."

pucca_princxss: you two need to stream in the same room one day bc this long distance sexual tension thing is so not the vibe :|

"Maybe one day..." Heeseung's voice faded off as he turned off the lights in his room, getting ready for bed...

"Maybe~~," your mother repeated in a mocking tone at the memory of your "filthy fest" of a stream that day, disgust displayed all over her before she took the last sip of her coffee as if it'd soothe her.

"Hope that refreshed your memory sweetie, but either way, my answer's no. Not with that slut on the streets and especially not without my supervision..."

“If you’re referring to Heeseung with that vulgar comment, I’m sorry to correct you, but it’s not right to just bash him with words like that,” you went on, leaning your elbows over the counter.

“Please, any guy who sends raunchy dick pics, let alone to a girl he’s not even dating, is a slut, ____,” your step-sister Giselle voiced while walking into the kitchen, dressed in athletic wear as she filled up her water canteen with a lemon flavored electrolyte packet, “not to mention those other weird things he says about your relationship on the stream.”

Despite how much your family claimed to dislike Heeseung, they had no problem with bringing him up every five seconds in a conversation.

You glanced at her through a side eye, shaking your head at the fact that she was just eavesdropping on your conversation, “That was hardly a dick pic, and you should know that better than me, Jizz-elle,” you retorted, putting extra emphasis on the first syllable of her old nickname.

“Yeah, real mature, ____… you can slut shame me but not your little online boyfriend?”

“Ladies!,” your mother raised her voice slightly, pursing her lips at the tension built up between you two, “that’s enough of this discussion…”

You noticed the way your mother’s eyes lingered on your step sister for a moment, “And where do you think you’re going?”

“To the gym,” she answered shortly, walking past your mom and out of the kitchen with haste.

You scoffed out loud, “Not gonna interrogate her like you did to me?,” you said, laughing as if humored when it was really just a way to mask how irritated you were.

“No,” your mom said with a delayed reply, “Giselle is not my blood… I must take her word for what she says to avoid conflict with your step-father… you, on the other hand, will—”

“—abide by your rules… got it,” you finished for her, knowing better than to continue going back and forth with her in this matter.

You left the kitchen, going up to your room and plopping yourself on the bed, staring at the ceiling as you entered into a deep thinking space.

One in which you'd strategize on how to successfully sneak out of the house to hang out with Heeseung tonight.

|Messaging| 💬

You: So, you want me to meet you where again ?

Heeseung: Just take a hard right past the first stop sign from your place and a few steps past that one brown house (pls ignore my Dora ass instructions rn 🗿)

You: ok ok 😭, smart tho !! … that way, none of my neighbors will see your car :D

Heeseung: Exactly. U sure u still wanna do this, tho ?

You: Yeah, ofc ! Had enough of my mom nagging me all day ☝️ I need a release BIG time

Heeseung: Haha, okay then ! I’ll see you at 10:30pm

You: Cya ! 🐒

THE LAST TIME you and Heeseung met in person was back when you were both young teenagers, navigating hormones and puberty while aiming to keep God at the center of it all, so to speak.

You didn’t know what to expect from meeting up with him, and especially not under such circumstances.

Still, you had a pretty good feeling that all this trouble wouldn’t be for nothing.

It was currently 10:34pm as you turned off all the lights in your bedroom, wearing an all black outfit to ensure you weren’t seen.

You double checked to see if you had everything with you before leaving: phone, spare cash, and a well-rehearsed story in case you got caught.

Opening your bedroom window, you stuck out a leg, suddenly feeling thankful for your step-dad giving you the bedroom on the first story of his home.

Both your feet were on the floor now, your hands finding the window sill as you closed the window back, careful not to accidentally lock it back so you would be able to get back in later.

You then followed the instructions Heeseung outlined in your texts, walking a few blocks down and taking a right turn once you reached the stop sign.

That’s when you caught sight of his dimly lit side profile under the lights of his car and through the tinted windows.

His eyes were on his phone until your figure blocked the streetlight that shined in his car, drawing his attention to your face as a smile spread over his own.

His eyes lit up like you were the candle to his soul, stepping out of the sleek black car to come around and give you a hug.

“Oh- hi,” you chuckled shyly, hands hesitating to wrap around him before he pulled away, looking you up and down while bracing your shoulders.

“Hi,” he smiled back, “I was just about to text you when you showed up at my window… nice black fit, by the way.”

“Thanks,” you said in a playful voice, watching as he opened the car door for you to get in.

“Would it be wrong of me to assume your panties match, too?,” he asked teasingly, joining you in the vehicle before pulling out of his parked position and cruising out of the neighborhood.

“Wow, you’re really representing this slut persona of yours, huh?” You teased back, putting on your seatbelt.

“Mostly because I can’t help it,” he shrugged, flashing you a smile before looking back at the road, “the fans ship us anyway, so we might as well commit to it, right?”

“Righttt,” you answered suspiciously, poking his thigh before looking back out the window, “gosh, this is crazy…”

“What is?”

“How long we’ve known each other and still happened to maintain a solid friendship despite the distance.”

“Yea,” he agreed, turning down a lane decorated with flowers that somehow still shined in the dark of the night, “We’d be fools to give up this bond we share, though… fools not to explore it further.”

He pulled into his driveway a few minutes later, showing you around his place before leading you to his bedroom, a familiar sight to you thanks to the streams.

“Oh- you’ve still got your monitors and mic set up?,” you asked curiously, noticing how the screen of his computer was on the streaming website.

“You remember what Danielle said on our last live? About us broadcasting in the same room together sometime…” he started shyly, pushing out another gaming chair for you to sit in.

“You really think it’s a good idea to stream right now?,” you rationalized, watching as he joined you in the nearby seat, “I mean, I’m obviously down for it, but what if my mom sees it again? Or Gisel—”

“I’ve already blocked your mom's account, ____, we should be fine,” he smiled, “and… if not… I’ll exchange another photo with your anonymous tipper for some forgiveness cash,” he shrugged, pouty lips making you melt a little inside. "Deal?"

You always knew that Heeseung was cute, but you didn’t think it was possible for him to get any better looking from behind the screen.

“Okay then,” you agreed with a sigh, hoping that your nerves would calm down once the broadcast started.

Almost instantly, 100 viewers joined when Heeseung pressed the “stream” button.

You both began with greeting everyone, trying to get past the chat’s excitement about finally getting to see you two in the same room together.

yxstar3ject: OMFG YALL ACTUALLY DID IT ❗️ this is the moment we’ve all been waiting for 🤧

Chelbear03: holy fucking fuck, how is she so CALM NEXT TO HIM 😩

mrloverl0ver: everyone in favor of them playing truth or strip for us, spam the chat with W’s

pucca_princxss: hoon, you raging perv- WWWWWWWWWW XD

Chelbear03: ✨ W ✨

laylaspapi: W no homo wait, why's my name pink now ;-;

yxstar3ject: I took orange the other day ~ sawwy Jakey W <3

You watched as the chat box started to flood with W's and other random comments, feeling Heeseung sat a hand on your thigh as if to make you feel more comfortable.

"Alright peeps, chill out with the chat spamming, we see it," Heeseung said, laughing off some of the tension, "It's not like you guys didn't get a free show the other day, anyways," he added.

"I don't know..." you started, voice and logic trailing off as more letter W's filled the screen, "it might be fun?"

"____," Heeseung said more seriously this time, "it's a pointless game, y'know? We're honest with the fans... they already know most of secrets, so its silly to do truth or strip..."

"Great. That'll only make it more challenging for them to get our clothes off then," you smiled, suddenly feeling excited about playing, a bit of your competitiveness rubbing off on the initially cautious boy.

"Fine then... we'll do it," Heeseund said, eliciting a few viewers to send gifts to your broadcast, "I'm gonna need a drink for this first, though."

Heeseung was doing a good job of making it seem like he wasn't totally down for this, even though on the inside, he was mostly concerned with making sure you felt comfortable, too.

He left the room for a moment before coming back with two canned cocktails in his grip, placing them on his desk in front of you two.

"I'm guessing you don't drink much," he said, popping open a can of sugary fizz with his teeth while making eye contact with you, "so take it slow with this, yeah?"

"Sure, dad," you joked, taking a sip from the can, hoping that the alcohol would maintain your fleeting confidence, considering that you'd just agreed to strip in front of hundreds of people online.

Chelbear03: alr, first question heheh, starting easy !! :))) when was the last time you got upset and why

Chelsea was the first to initiate this little "truth or strip" questionnaire. Heeseung read the question out loud before humming to himself in thought.

“Hmm... maybe when I overcooked my ramen this morning?”

"Who eats ramen for breakfast?" You asked with a dry laugh.

"Don't judge me because I have good taste, ____," he replied, shoving your thigh with his knee a bit, "and you're dodging the question..."

"Oh- right," you chuckled shyly, thinking of what to say and whether to be honest, until you remembered the consequence would be to remove a piece of clothing.

“It was um... over some stupid things my stepsister was saying about a friend of mine… also this morning...”

"Does that friend so happen to be me by any chance?," Heeseung asked knowingly, giving you a look that you quickly brushed off.

"Moving on, next question!"

anonymous tipper: name the last person you hooked up with $100 donation on the line here, btw... plus someone's modesty 🙈

Oh God, you thought to yourself, dreading how this anonymous tipper knew you'd do almost anything for money.

It was really a bad trait of yours...

"Wow, just jumping to the extremes, aren't we?," Heeseung mumbled between a sip of his drink, the wet condensation drawing your attention to his glistening digits for a quick second.

How were you just now noticing how thick his fingers ar-

laylaspapi: uh oh someone looks nervous ...

pucca_princxss: mission accomplished 👹👹👹

In all honesty, you didn't really have an answer to that question, but to avoid coming off as prudish, you opted to take a pair of clothing off instead, lifting your hips in your seat to pull your pants down.

"____, what the-" Heeseung started before choking a bit on his drink, not just at your sudden boldness, but at the sight of your lace panties hugging the natural curves of your hips, pants getting bunched up at your ankles before you kicked them off under his desk.

yxstar3ject: 😭😭😭😭 DEFINITELY wasn't expecting that, oml-

Chelbear03: your turn, hee 🙏🙏🙏

Something about how frazzled your usually calm and collected best friend became at the simple act of you undressing before him gave you a feeling of exhilaration.

By now, your top barely covered the flesh of your thighs, a few commenters saying things about "wanting to take a bite" before Heeseung cleared his throat, hoping that they'd stop making things worse for him.

"Well uh, I'm not willing to strip a layer just yet, plus I could use the $100, so I'll be honest..."

The chat stalled momentarily as if everyone watching paused in eager anticipation of who and what Heeseung was going to say.

"It's been a while, I'll admit," he chuckled dryly, staring off as if envisioning it behind his sparkly eyes, "but it was around a year and a half ago... with a girl I'd rather not name, but she was a bit older than me..."

"Oh?," you accidentally said out loud, a strange feeling of happiness washing over you now that you knew he hadn't been with any girl since you two met reconnected. You're not sure why this information made you happy... or maybe you're just not ready to admit how you truly feel about him to yourself yet...

"How'd you two meet? Wait- why am I even asking that," you cringed at your own inevitable curiosity, Heeseung taking delight in how his timidness somehow rubbed back off onto you.

"Nah, it's okay... I'm sure the viewers wouldn't mind a little storytime-"

He adjusted his posture in the chair, eyes scanning a few new comments before he spoke, "I met her during my bad boy stage, I guess you could say... we bonded over the fact that we were both born in October until we eventually started smoking together at a friends house of mine every now and then... she and I were both going through some divorce drama with our parents and uh... we thought fucking would be a good emotional outlet? I don't know, maybe it was more of a distraction, I guess..."

Heeseung didn't expect himself to ramble the way he did, but he wanted you to know the main details, even though he left out a few parts for another time and conversation.

Chelbear03: what would it take for me to be that girl ? just for one night 😔

maindancertypeshit: pretty sure Hee just confirmed he's into older girls, Chels ... and ones with daddy issues at that-

You nearly snorted at the sudden comment, up until you realized who the last one came from.

"Excuse me, but what the hell is a toddler doing on this stream?" Heeseung asked sarcastically, obviously referring to Niki.

pucca_princxss: LMAO, looking for his mommy ofc 🤱 (😏)

maindancertypeshit: ayo, wtf??? so dani's allowed but I'm not?? hmph >:{

maindancertypeshit has left the stream

You sighed while laughing slightly, taking a sip of the drink as water droplets now dripped unto your thighs, Heeseung's eyes doing a terrible job of not staring.

"I say we do one more round before ending the stream," you offered, looking at the time as you knew you'd wanna spend more private time with Heeseung before having to run back home.

yxstar3ject: BOOOOOOOO :(

Chelbear03: im too pressed abt riki rn to give a damn bro did NAWT have to dish me the truth like that 😭😭

mrloverl0ver: ok ok, let's make this last question worth it then hmmm ...

Sunghoon typed in thought, just as the bulb in Heeseungs side lamp suddenly shattered, the loss of light coupled with it's piercing sound making you jolt in your seat, half of your canned cocktail spilling on your shirt and chest.

"Shit," Heeseung swore under his breath, happy that none of your drink or any glass from the lightbulb got on his streaming equipment.

That's when he noticed you shivering a bit, the cold liquid contrastingly with the warmth of your body.

"C-can you grab me a towel please?," you asked softly, Heeseung taking the can from your grasp and leaving the room with haste to grab a damp and dry cloth for you.

"Here," he offered when he came back, hooking his hands at the hem of your top and pulling it over your head in one swift movement, making you gasp out loud.

You were now half-naked in front of your best friend, not to mention the tons of people watching from their digital screens.

"Heeseung, what're you-"

He was now taking off his own shirt, holding it in one hand while he wiped your chest down with the cloths he held in the other.

There was something about the way his eyes looked while wiping down your boobs, coming off as romantic despite the awkward nature of the situation.

"Put this on," he whispered so quietly you almost missed it, snaking your head through the head hole of his T-shirt while he flicked the ceiling light on, your mind running in a hundred different directions in this moment.

You're not sure if it had something to do with the alcohol, but your skin still tingled in the spots where his fingertips grazed your flesh... just like old times...

You don't think you ever put on a T-shirt faster in your life, wanting to cover up as fast as you could despite how everyone had already gotten a free show from the both of you.

laylaspapi: B👀BS ?!?!? caught in 4k? just like that !?!??!????

mrloverl0ver: guess that means the games over now since y'all started stripping regardless ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

pucca_princxss: I think Heeseung's house might b haunted :'0

Chelbear03: HEESEUNGS FUCKING ABS RN- IS HE TRYING TO KILL ME !??!?

yxstar3ject: 👁👄👁

The chat was going crazy at this point, their flood of comments honestly being the last thing on your mind as you sat bottomless in Heeseung's gaming chair, wearing his T-shirt as he searched for another shirt somewhere behind you.

A billion emotions were coursing through your veins, still trying to grasp how you went from sneaking out your bedroom window, stripping in front of an audience, and getting flustered from the mere presence of Heeseung now.

"Alright guys, this was fun but we're gonna call it a night for now," Heeseung said as he came back into frame, not even bothering to sit back down as his right hand found the mouse, moving it towards the end stream button.

"Yeah, I think my streaming career might end here," you added jokingly, making Heeseung chuckle a bit at your words, his bright smile doing nothing but make your stomach flutter all over again.

What was going on with you?

"Who knows? Maybe we can work on starting an OnlyFans together ..."

"Heeseung-"

"I'm kidding," he laughed again, looking at your face from the screen, not even aware of how he bit his lip before speaking, "you look pretty on camera though, for what its worth."

The all-too familiar tune of the livestream ending rang in your ears, the screen displaying stats of the broadcast engagement, which surpassed any and every stream you've ever filmed before.

"Wow," Heeseung marveled, just as he shut his computer off.

"I know," you added, stretching your back while sitting, "we don't even reach stats like that in a week..."

"I wasn't talking about the ratings, ____," he returned, the room seeming much more quiet now that the computer was off, even though it's been this way the whole time.

"Enough about that, though," he started again, taking your hands in his to pull you out of the chair, "I haven't been a very good host to you this evening... making you work first thing before properly treating you... allow me to make up my lacking..."

"I mean... you gave me a nice seat and something to drink... you even lended me one of your shirts after I made a big mess of myself," you replied while giggling, feeling silly as he held both of your hands while speaking formally all of a sudden.

"Yes, yes, but I'm serious," he continued, now guiding you down to the rug lying in the middle of his bedroom floor, "you still like candy, right?"

ALMOST ANOTHER HOUR had passed and it was somewhere around midnight give or take, you and Heeseung hardly feeling tired as you sat on the mat together, alternating between eating orange slices and gummy bears.

You were propped up on your elbows, a glow still present on his face from the laughter you've shared together so far, even though there was something less innocent you wanted to get off your chest.

You were feeling completely reckless already, and you figured it wouldn’t hurt for you to push things a little further.

Besides, it’s not everyday that a girl like you gets an opportunity like this just placed in her lap.

It's just like Heeseung said, you'd be a fool to give up this bond you two share and not explore it further...

Plus, you weren't sure how much longer you could hide behind the good girl act.

Giselle was right: Heeseung had sex written in full length parables all up and down his six-foot-something body, and you'd be lying if you said it didn't turn you on.... if you said it didn't reel you in, like a burning desire to explore what's corrupted.

To be ruined.

"Heeseung," you started, making him look down at you as he sat with his legs crossed, hair messy from the amount of times he ran a hand through it, "can I ask you something?... It's... kinda personal..."

He popped another strawberry flavored gummy bear into his mouth, "As long as it isn't about your period, I should be good to help you then," he chuckled slightly.

"And what makes you think that I need help with something?"

"Hmm… maybe just that way that your nails keep picking with my wrist watch right now," he answered quietly, drawing your attention to your fingers which tend to get busy whenever you were nervous.

"Oh- I... I didn't even realize...," you laughed at yourself, shying your hands away before sitting up and hiding them in your lap.

"Well go on," he urged, looking back at you with warmth in his eyes, taking off his glasses and setting them aside, "What'd you wanna ask me?"

You let out a breath, clenching your thighs a bit as your sight fell between his legs.

Fuck, did he just laugh? God, he definitely noticed your peeking... you fucking perver-

"I don't really know how to word this but..." you chewed on your lip in thought, "Sometimes... when it's just you and me alone like this... even when we're just video chatting... I feel," you looked up at the ceiling as if it'd help you divulge, "I don't really know what to call it."

He blinked at your words, adjusting his sitting position on the ground, "Are there certain things I do or say that make you feel... whatever it is that you can't explain?" He asked, tilting his head at you, just as his hand inched closer to you on the rug, but not quite touching your skin yet.

"Its a few things, actually-"

"Like what?" His hand was now on your thigh, eyes glued on your shaky figure even though you avoided eye contact, lost in the veins that trailed the pretty skin of his arm.

"When you touch me," you whispered so quietly, the only reason he heard you was because he read your lips, thinking in his own mind what it'd be like to taste them, "like that."

"Speak up for me, I can hardly hear you," he urged, almost as if cooing at you.

"I can't," you said shakily, chest expanding slightly with each heavy breath you took in and let out.

Your idea of being bold was starting to backfire... if only you could stop being so awkward about this for one second-

"It's just me, ____," he whispered with a slight chuckle this time, your hands finding the fluffy rug beneath you as your skin still stung from where he'd last touched you, "be as honest with me as you need."

"Maybe it's best we just pretend I never said anything," your voice trailed off, regretting having looked into his dark eyes that stared back at yours because you felt as though your shield had faltered, his energy coaxing your mind to wander.

"Would you mind if I took a guess?," Heeseung offered with an expression you couldn't read, but you nodded anyway, just as his hand traveled further up your thigh, your breath hitching in your chest as you felt his finger tips meet your core.

"You feel something in here, don't you?," he whispered again, "Hurts, doesn't it?"

Like hunger pains, you answered in your head, finding his shoulder as half of you thought to push him away while the other half just needed to touch him.

You nodded shyly in response, thankful that he didn't move any further so you could catch your breath, already too effected by his actions.

"I feel it sometimes, too. The aching... but I'm sure you're old enough to know there's only one way to get rid of it."

You didn't even have to ask to know what he was implying, feeling tempted to give in to whatever this urge was.

He was right though. It did ache, and so badly, your own core tearing up with a need you never intended to entertain.

That's when his touch creeped closer to your core, your thighs closing around his hand as you struggled to think clearly.

You almost couldn't in a state like this.

It baffled you how the energy was starting to change, but it was only a matter of time that you'd be able to sit bottom less in front of Heeseung looking the way he does before something sexual would happen.

"Are you willing to let me help you?" He asked, gripping your flesh between his hands as a shy sound fell from your lips.

You were having second thoughts.

"As much as I'd like to, Hee, it just doesn't seem right anymore..."

Even though this was all your idea to begin with-

"But doesn't it feel right?" he pressed, feeling his hands gently pry your thighs back open, but its not like you were putting up much of a fight either, "Besides, you wouldn't have told me if you didn't want me to do something about it..."

In this moment, you couldn't care less about maintaining that fleeting sense of virtue all the elders in your life harped on growing up.

You were simply young, horny, lovesick, and in need of a release.

Before you knew it, your legs were parted for him, your back against the rug as his head got comfortable at your heat, fingers barely grazing over your now bare cunt before he started leaving plush kisses against your sweet spot.

The ache was definitely still there, but having him this close to you made it feel better.

Almost too good, honestly…

“Heeseung-” you cried out, clamming your thighs around his head as you felt his thick and warm tongue enter you.

Hooking his hands at your knees, it helped to open you back up for him, feeling your stomach tighten as he continued to lick you down.

“I’m still here, baby…” he cooed, looking back up at you, just as your phone started to ding, "relax for me, alright?"

It was a few random messages here and there, you being too pleasure-drunk to give a damn as he continued lapping at your slick, alternating between one and two fingers as he teased your hole, only making you want more.

“Fuck…s- someone’s calling me,” you whined, propping up on your elbows with tired eyes as you reached for your phone, seeing none other than Giselle's contact number as Heeseung left your core, getting on his knees and unbuckling his belt.

"What're you-"

Your words were cut off as he leaned closer into you, his bulge resting in between your folds as he looked into your eyes and said, "Answer it."

He was already rocking against your pussy as you struggled to stay focused, his boxers being covered in your slick just from how wet you'd gotten, even though you nodded no.

“You want me to help you, don’t you?” He continued, completely aware of your stalling and hesitance as the phone continued to ring, your breathing only getting heavier as he kept grinding against you.

You bit your lip, clenching around nothing as his fingers cascaded over your sensitive spot. Heeseung practically drooled at the sight, your tight little cunt all slick and messy for him.

"Hello?" Giselle asked over the phone, "where the hell are you right now?"

Fuck.

You watched nervously as Heeseung pulled his boxers past his hips, his thickness springing up now that it was finally free to breathe.

"What're you talking about, I was just in my room," you lied terribly, watching Heeseung with pleading eyes as he lined himself up with your entrance, bracing a hand on you lower abdomen while glaring back at you, a glint of playfulness in his doe eyes.

Oh, the way you wanted to smack him across his pretty face right now-

"I wasn't born yesterday, ____. I checked your room an hour ago and you're still not here. Tell me where you are," she continued, voice cracking a bit as you winced through a bitten lip, thanks to Heeseung somehow having slid his thickness inside you.

Well, most of the way, at least...

"____?"

"Y-yes, I'm listening, just- don't worry about me, I'll be back in a bit-"

"That still doesn't answer my question, ____..."

Thud.

You accidentally dropped your phone beside your head once Heeseung pushed all the way in now, leaving a few kisses along your neck to help you calm down.

His hips were still, but for some reason, your breathing remained shaky beneath him, your step-sister still awaiting your reply on the other side of the phone.

"Call you later," you said in a squeaky voice, reaching over to hang up the phone as Heeseung started to move again, your legs trembling a bit as the nerves in your mind traveled through your whole body.

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" He asked sarcastically, hand following a trail from your waist, over your boob, then to your neck, goosebumps sprouting on your skin as you suddenly felt cold, your body internally shivering.

"Hee," you said with a whimper, feeling his grip loosen around your neck before he started thrusting into your walls, your slick providing just enough lubrication for him to slide in and out easily.

You couldn't even think in your mind at this point, his actions already becoming more than you could handle given how new everything was.

How nice he felt.

"C'mon, don't get quiet on me now, baby, I just started," he teased, slamming his pelvis against yours to hopefully reel a moan out of you, which obviously worked, your hand flying up to grip the fluffy rug over your head as it became harder to hide your sounds.

He hissed at the feeling of you clenching around him, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he looked into your eyes.

"So either you like it when I'm rough with you or when I call you baby..." he started in a low voice, "which is it?"

"M-maybe both... now can you stop trying to turn me on with your words for one fucking second?," you asked with labored breaths, feeling your orgasm creep up on you a lot sooner than anticipated.

Sure, this was your first time, but you were glad he didn't treat you like a baby during the whole thing.

There was just something about the way his voice sounded in this moment, the way he was rutting into you like a horny teenager that took you over the edge.

And he was being such a tease, trying to make you talk knowing that your sentences would be broken and whiney thanks to how rough he was going.

He wanted to hear you falling apart underneath him.

He let out the most attractive chuckle you'd ever heard at your words, "But I can tell it's working," he smirked, bracing himself against the floor so you could wrap your legs around him better, "now quit your complaining and keep taking me like a good girl, alright?"

You're sure your clit started doing backflips at the pet-name, coupled with the pretty sounds he was very intentionally humming beneath your ear.

He found your wrists on the rug, sliding up to your hands and interlacing his fingers with yours,

“Stop trying to act tough, I can tell this is all new to you…. don’t even know what to do with your hands, huh?” his said, watching as your eyes get lost in the view of his shaggy hair.

He snickered, “you can touch it if you want…”

Fuck, you thought to yourself. You don’t know why you felt the need to put on some act for him… maybe it was because you assumed a competition between yourself and other girls he’s been with, even though in reality, you’d been the only girl on his mind for a while now.

“I…,” you started with a stutter, “I can’t.”

Your fingers were still interlaced with his, but your inability to touch him had less to do with the fact that he had you pinned down, and more so to do with your nerves.

As badly as he wanted to keep toying with your head in this moment, he could you were getting closer from how your breath kept hitching, so he didn’t have much time to play.

Releasing his grip from your hands, he brought a thumb to your chin, tapping at it for you to open your mouth, “I’m gonna speed up now then, okay?”

He choked out, his own head becoming a little fuzzy as you parted your lips obediently for him, the sight of your tongue laving at his fingers being enough to make him feel like cumming.

He knew you had to get home quick now, but he still wanted to give you the best orgasm of your life.

Once he collected enough of your spit on his fingers, he slid his hand down, circling your swollen bud while looking into your eyes, your hands automatically flying to his shoulders to brace yourself.

“Fuck, Heeseung~,” you cursed with furrowed brows, whimpers that almost sounded like high pitched hiccups falling from your lips as you felt your hips chase his.

There was so much energy coursing through both of your bodies that it could charge your dying phone on the floor right now.

“It’s okay baby, you’re almost- shit, you’re almost there,” he grunted weakly as he continued fucking into your walls with his fingers at your clit, his own eyes closing at how good your tightness felt around him.

You never heard yourself sound like this before, getting all whiny just as he whispered the words “Come for me” against your neck, sealing the space with a kiss and retreating his hand from your core, holding you in place as your orgasm hit like a flood.

You were squirming so much, walls pulsating like a drum as he kissed you down, your hands finally being brave enough to grip at his hair while he rode out your high.

You could tell that he didn’t finish inside you, but he was nice enough to slow down and not fuck you completely stupid.

“I can’t even believe we just did that,” you mumbled mindlessly, eyes staring back at him as he started to gently caressed your cheek.

“Wasn’t too bad for a quickie though, right?,” he asked jokingly while still inside you, not quite yet ready to pull out of your comforting warmth.

To say goodbye to the you he brought out in this sex-filled space.

“No… it wasn’t bad at all,” you smiled back, words sounding somewhere in between a shocking realization and sincere compliment.

“Then I guess that means we can look forward to doing this more often-”

“Heeseung-”

“Kidding,” he whispered softly, meeting your lips in one last kiss before leaning back up to adjust his pants, “now let’s get you cleaned up and ready for home before your mom has me crucified.”

“Okay,” you said while laughing slightly until he pulled out of you, your legs trembling a bit from the missing fullness.

From the feeling in his chest, Heeseung came to fully accept that he was 110% in love with you, not giving a flying fuck about the naysayers who’d disapprove of your now-even-more-complicated friendship.

You on the other hand, came to realize that Heeseung was worth much more than being judged by a bunch of hypocrites, and that you now had the courage to make a lot of your own decisions now, even if they’re solely for the sake of pleasure.

”Still,” you continued, watching as he stood up from the ground to grab a pack of wipes from his desk, “I just remembered that I locked my bedroom window when I left.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” He asked while parting your legs, wiping your sweaty thighs down with your panties hunched up in his other hand.

You admired the view of him cleaning you up with adoration flooding your heart, your limbs letting themselves relax as feathery words fell from your lips, “It means I might have to spend the night at your place for a little longer…”

Fin…

♱ Thank you beyond words to everyone reading this right now! I teased the release of this fic a while ago but ended up changing almost everything that I’d originally written because it was kinda shitty 🥴 but hopefully you all enjoyed this fic anyway!

Some would call it cliche, to only stick around people who held the same status as you, or shared a similar popularity rank, but you truly never intended for that. Having two of the most popular students in one team, automatically makes the entirety of the group more desirable and unattainable. You never had control over any of these things, but you’d also be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel even more special. 

Your phone vibrates, Song Eunseok’s name displayed on the screen, messages filling up your home screen every second. You smile lightly and press one of them to shoot him a quick reply, preventing him from spamming you with keyboard smashes. 

Song Eunseok was one of your best-friends. He was there when others weren’t, and he was always the one to help you endure any pain in life. He was like a bandaid, keeping you safe from any infectious disease but also helping ease the pain, even if it didn’t feel like it at first. The affection in his tone, his words glowing with secrecy and honesty every time he spoke to you, that’s exactly what made him so notable to your heart. 

Kim Hana was also one of those people to you. Eunseok was good to you, but he’d never be able to substitute for a girl best-friend. You never treated Hana as a second option though. She wasn’t even a month older than you, but wiser than most. Hana always knew what to say or do, she was like a compass to you. You knew you could never lose her, or else you wouldn’t know which direction to walk towards. Still, behind the smart and intellectual facade, was a joyful and bright girl, who had the most infectious laugh you knew. Her smile was adorable and words of affection- comforting. 

Park Sunghoon was also a member of your clique, recruited by Jake who swam alongside him on the school’s swimming team. You’ve never been really close to him, he was more of a friend to you when others were around. That didn’t mean you didn’t care for him though. Sunghoon was different, he was very secretive and smart. He didn’t ever try, but always succeeded. He wasn’t flashy about it either, keeping most of his success to himself. 

Jake, who recruited Sunghoon, used to be your best-friend. You grew up with him, just like in every childhood best-friends movie, the two of you did everything together. Just like you, he moved out of his home country in his early years, which was one of the many things you had in common and could empathize about. You decided to go to the same highschool, following the promise you made in 4th grade; that you’ll always stick together. The reciprocation brought you a feeling of comfort and safety, at first you didn’t mind when he started getting closer with Nishimura Riki because you trusted him. You trusted him enough, and turned a blind eye enough until your once best friend wasn’t yours anymore. 

You tried to ignore the low pain it gave you, small weebs formed in your mind as you tried to justify Jake’s behavior, arguing that he still speaks to you so kindly. You were still in the same group together, spending most of your days together and laughing sweetly at the smallest things. But instead of calling you, he’d call Niki, instead of hanging out with you on the weekends, he’d hang out with Niki and instead of inviting you as his plus one to events, he’d invite Niki. 

That’s exactly why you hated Nishimura Riki, the last member of the seemingly ‘popular kid’ clique you formed. 

Niki was equally attractive and popular as you. He embodied a typical, bookish bad-boy character, the smitten look on his face winning girls hearts over every time. He was also a member of the football team, already earning a full ride scholarship for his sports successes. He was already an intelligent boy, but a free entry to college was nothing he’d deny. He was vastly athletic, but always dreamed of going to university. Niki may not have looked the part, but he truly was much more ambitious than many would guess. 

He didn’t have many reasons to hate you, but the sole fact that you were unbeatable, the first rank in school always alongside your name. He always stood proudly next to you on class president election day, but always ended up getting hurt when once again, you were chosen. Everyone loved you and even though he had his fair share of fans, he could never compare. 

So the satisfaction that taking away your best-friend from you brought him, was enough to console his damaged pride. It was enough to compensate for his stolen spotlight. 

You both had reasons to hate each other, and never even considered talking it out, even if you shared a friend group. Passive aggressive comments, and sarcastic remarks were enough to satisfy yours and Niki’s mind. 

___________

Niki, with his fair share of popularity, couldn’t get away from constant love letters clogging up his locker, or girls' heartfelt love confessions. With the face of an angel and skills of a child prodigy, it was inevitable in some way. Those same girls were the reason for his incredibly and annoyingly large ego. 

“Niki!” the brunette caught his attention with her squeaky and high pitched voice. 

He turned around to catch a glimpse at her, only to find her with a pink glittery box in hand. Niki could sense another thought out, insanely touching confession coming his way. 

“Do I know you?” he asked, trying his best to not make a rude face at the girl. At the end of the day he was the it-boy at his high-school, and had an image to upkeep. 

“You could get to know me. We have chemistry together!” she replied happily, completely neglecting the fact that his reply itself was a bit rude to begin with. 

“Is that supposed to be some sort of pickup line?” Niki chuckled, running a hand through his hair as his shoulder fell to his right. He leaned on the lockers trying to remember the girl he was speaking to. 

She pulls at the fabric of his blazer, a frisky look on her face “It could be if you want it to be” 

He felt his body tensing up, a wave of uncomfort speeding through his veins. He was used to girls shoving themselves onto him, but why couldn’t he be viewed as an equal to them? Just because he has stolen many women's hearts, didn’t mean he didn’t want to be treated with dignity and respect. 

He could feel a bead of sweat trickle down his spine as the unknown girl pushed her body closer and closer. His white shirt started to suffocate him, feeling the box she had in her hands press against his stomach. 

He could barely read the name Oh Jia off the girl's name tag, before backing away, making her stumble a little bit. 

“Don’t you think you’re getting a little too comfortable, Jia?” he asked. 

She took a deep breath. She thinks of the many nights she’d seen the boy infront of her standing proudly with a confident smile as he pulls her closer to his body. She is taken aback by the difference, wondering how she could've gotten so easily deceived by her own head to fall for such a fabricated version of Nishimura Riki, She had swooned over the cover, just like many girls before and after her. 

This was one of the many daily confessions the boy would receive. Some happened to be much more friendly and cute, even making Niki’s heart a little warmer. Some students just liked to test his limits, see how easy he can actually be. He hated that. He hated not being treated like a human being but rather a school attraction they all got to take turns trying out. 

Although you were sworn enemies, the similarity between yours and Niki’s experience love wise, was undeniable. 

“What is my pretty girl doing all alone? Where did all your friends go?” Hyunsik, a member of the student council, asked with a flirtatious tone stopping you from getting to your history class. 

“Yours?” you questioned with a calm voice, having an idea of who Hyunsik was. 

He smiled, wondering why you always played so hard to get. He was gorgeous, so what was your problem to just give into his warm embrace? 

“Don’t be like that” he answered, using his hand to push a strand of  loose hair behind your ear. 

You felt so incredibly uncomfortable. You had known Hyunsik for some time now, as the class president you did have to consult on important issues with him. 

“What do you mean, Hyunsik?” you asked, a wonky smile on your face as you tried to give the boy a sign that you weren't interested in him. 

“You know what I mean. C'mon Y/n, you don’t have to play so hard to get. We could have fun, I’d make you feel so good and happy” he confessed, his stance radiating confidence which was unbreakable. 

He was attractive, but his personality and ego completely erased any chances of scoring a date with you or many other girls. 

“I’m interested in someone else” you answered, backing away from him. 

“You always say that, yet you're still single” he said, offended by your relectuance. 

“I don’t think that’s any of your business though, Hyunsik. I have to go now” you said, not letting him say anything else. 

This wasn't the first time boy’s just assumed you’d be easy like that. Just like Niki, you hated it. You didn't mind the confessions, as long as they were kept cute and respectful. You hated being mean, and these situations just forced it out of you. 

__________ 

“Why don’t we call Minjun over here, you’ve been hanging out with him a lot, right?” Hana asked, turning to you. She shuffles to grab her phone, but you stop her. 

Niki rolled his eyes at her words, not in the mood to stubbornly try to keep a civil conversation with Minjun. Kim Minjun was a member of the football team, and the number two placeholder in school. He really was handsome- slim face and a defined jawline, dark thick hair, eyebrows not touched once but seemingly shaped by Aphrodite herself, captivating siren eyes that made you fear eye contact, and lastly plump cherry lips. You could go on about Minjun’s beauty for days and not get bored of the topic. 

He notoriously fought with Niki for the team captain position, and although never achieved it, still managed to be disliked by Niki. They had a visible rivalry. While Niki tried to beat Minjun for second place, Minjun tried to beat Niki for the team captain spot. The passive aggressive remarks only made it worse, but for the sake of the team they kept, or at least tried to keep it civil. 

It reminded you of your friend group. You always tried your best to hide your deep rooted hatred for Niki around everyone, for the sake of their peace. The difference was that Niki never tried. He couldn’t bear a minute without making a sneaky and rude comment towards you. In some way it made you feel better about yourself, knowing that you're mature enough to not bother your friends with your private issues. 

“He’s probably with the team” you answered, and she pouted at your response.

“He wouldn’t want to sit with Miss Perfect here, anyways” Niki snickered, poking at his lunch uninterested in what he saw on the metal tray. The pork cutlet seemed awfully indigestible today. 

“I think you’re more so the problem” Hana defended, knowing you wouldn’t probably respond to him. 

“It’s not like Minjun is perfect, c'mon. He’s an annoying, selfious fuckboy” Jake said, in an attempt to clear Niki’s name. 

But why couldn’t he defend you? Did he really dislike you that much? 

“He really isn’t though” you responded, and Jake seemed taken aback by your change in demeanor. 

It almost looked like he felt entitled to say anything, but you had no right to respond to him unless you weren’t agreeing with him. Maybe that was what was left after your friendship of 10 years, the entitlement. 

“Of course you’d say that, because you probably want him like all his other fangirls” Niki smirked, and pushed away his tray. 

“Dude, leave it. Can we just have a peaceful lunch period for once?” Sunghoon spoke up, looking up from his English notes. 

He usually never said anything whenever these tense situations happened. Sunghoon kept quiet, listening in on the meaningless words leaving your mouths. 

“I’m gonna go” you rose from your chair, and picked up all your things. Hana tried to stop you, but her attempts were useless, as you gave her a small smile and left the table. 

“Well, I will too then” Niki announced trailing right after you. 

He walked towards you, a stupid look displayed on his face. You hated that you didn’t have any power over him, letting him treat you like this for no good reason. 

“If you want to continue telling me how awful Minjun is, I really suggest you leave it, cause I’m not going to change my mind” you turned to him, as he stopped next to you by the lockers. 

“I just want to get some books from my locker, can’t I?” he tilted his head, and smirked evilly when he saw your annoyed look. 

Another thing you hated was having a locker right next to his. Whoever assigned them, must truly despise you.  Or potentially pray for your downfall.

He just scoffed at your lack of interest, and started to rummage through his pocket for the small key to his locker. 

As soon as both of your locker doors opened, a swarm of notes and pink, red or purple little envelopes fell out. Some were cutely decorated, with adorable glittery stickers, some just a simple paper ripped out of the author's notebook. 

You two looked at each other confused. You knew Niki was popular, and Niki knew you were popular, but not to this extent. 

It wasn’t an issue, for a long time, but as comical as it sounded this was starting to get annoying pretty quickly. Sometimes the both of you wondered what made you so special, what made you stand out so much. Was it the academic success that no other student seemed to achieve yet? Maybe it was the physical tasks that you conquered without breaking a sweat? Or was it just your appearance that was unique among all? 

His mind was rushing, but one idea came out on top of the bubble of thoughts. 

______ 

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Niki” you laughed at his absurd idea, wondering if Jake is somewhere recording this secretly. 

Niki can’t yet tell if you’ll buy it or not. The silence sinks into his skin, as the imprisoning walls surrounding you seem to close on him. Did he really just say that out loud? 

“Listen, we can just pretend to un-hate each other or something, and then date. It’s all fake, obviously. Do you think I’d want someone like you to be my girlfriend?” he responds. “We can’t tell anyone though” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea” you mumble, and he chuckles. 

“Oh please don’t tell me this is about Minjun?” 

You look at him annoyed. Why does he suddenly care so much about your relationship with Kim Minjun? 

 “And what if it is?” you roll your eyes, turning away from his tall figure. 

“He doesn’t care about you, Y/n. Can’t you just agree, we both get something out of it” he says, exasperated. 

He reaches for your small shoulder, turning your body in his direction. He holds you while silence embraces the both of you. The sun subtly shines through the small window of the equipment room, illuminating his face, a sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you. 

“What is in it for me?” you ask quietly, the moment between the two of you, making your heart beat faster. 

Niki softens at the concern in your tone. 

He knew you liked Minjun, everyone did, but this much? Did you really care for that douchebag? Did you lay on your bed at night, your thoughts always coming back to Kim Minjun? What did he do to steal your cold heart so easily? 

“An empty locker, that’s for sure” he lets go of you “And assholes like Hyunsik won’t annoy you anymore, isn’t that enough?” he adds, his tone laced with confidence. 

“You know about Hyunsik?” you ask curiously. 

He stifles a sharp inhale, realization hitting him. 

Did you think he cares? He doesn’t. He couldn’t care less. 

He tries to calm his unsteady nerves, preventing himself from saying anything that could damage his uninterested approach to your person even more. 

“Eunseok told me,” he answered quickly, his gaze turning to the small window. 

You never told Eunseok. 

You never told anyone cause this wasn’t something abnormal. Yes, maybe Hyunsik was a bit forward about it, pushing himself onto you, but you just forgot about it after some time. 

“Alright’ you clear your throat “Let’s do it” 

Niki feels an unfamiliar warmth in his heart, trying to stifle the excitement that took over his body when he heard your words. 

“But what about our friends, Niki? Do you seriously think Sunghoon or Jake are that stupid?” you ask 

It floods him again; the comfort of his name passing your lips, and he doesn’t know why. He’s never felt this way. 

“Hana is a hopeless romantic, she’ll believe anything if you slap a ‘boyfriend’ label on it. Eunseok and Sunghoon don't care anyway, and Jake? I’ll figure it out” he answers, his voice so calm “Everyone else will just believe it as long as we make it believable” he proceeds cautiously, putting emphasis on the ‘we’.  

“I don’t get not telling our friends, honestly” you murmured, looking around the room. 

He sighed “No offense to Hana, but she’s the biggest blabbermouth I know” he confesses. 

You agree internally, not wanting to admit it, too proud of your friendship with the girl. 

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow” he says after a moment of tranquility, leaving the room after he finishes his sentence. 

You watch him step out and leave you alone with all the thoughts and worries. 

______

And so he did pick you up. 

You wondered if Niki had cleaned up his car for you, remembering the mess last time you were in it. Probably not though. 

“Let’s go,” he said, keeping the door open for you. 

He grabbed your hand tightly, pulling through the crowd of students gathered in front of the building. Some had a stupid look on their face, wondering how the two of you could ever be dating, some didn’t even budge. 

Your chest swells with a torment of emotions, as you feel his warm, wrought hand grip yours. Pride, confusion, determination swarm through your veins, making a mess of your head. You press your knuckles to the warmth of your cheek, flustered by the looks you were receiving. 

Your eyes scan the whole building, trying to find Minjun, worried what he’d say when he finds out. You never wanted him to think you were just playing with him, and by the looks of it, that’s exactly what he was thinking when his eyes spotted yours. 

A sad look of disappointment decorated his face, as you passed by, holding Nishimura Riki’s hand so tightly. 

You screw your eyes shut, chest rising and falling rapidly. You want to tell him everything, you know you could. But there was a boundary you promised to not cross, for yours and Niki’s peace. 

“This is bullshit” Sunghoon raises his eyebrows, as the two of you appear in front of all your friends. 

“The assignment you wrote for my physics class was bullshit, and I didn’t say anything. This-” he says pointing to your intertwined hands “This is for real, the real deal” he adds proudly. 

How long has he been acting? 

“When did all of this happen?” Hana asks excitedly. 

You didn’t like agreeing with Niki, and even though it was sad to a degree, Hana really was gullible. 

You smile “We just started talking, I guess. It really happened naturally” 

How long have you been acting? 

“But weren’t you just fighting last week? And I thought you had a thing for Minjun?” Eunseok asked. He wasn’t supposed to care. 

“No, no, Minjun is just a friend” you answer after a moment. 

Niki was surprised at your lack of hesitation, no signs of nervousness. 

“Well congrats then. I’m happy for you guys” Jake smiled, and his acknowledgment meant the world to you. 

You couldn’t not care for him after all this time spent together. You wished you didn’t care about what he thought, what he was up to, because it was no longer your place to ask or wonder. 

“I hope Minjun doesn’t feel sad” Hana ponders, her soft heart melting for the boy. 

You laugh at her kindness, but deep down you know she’s right “I doubt. I think I made it clear to him that I’m not interested” you reply in an attempt to calm her nerves. 

“I hope so, he’s really a good guy” she mumbles, a look of frustration on her face. 

You wonder why. 

“He isn’t but whatever” Niki professes, a disgusted tone lacing his voice. 

Eunseok laughs “One day anniversary and he’s already jealous” 

You never expected them to be so gullible, to fall for such a fabricated lie, but here they were laughing and making jokes about the two of you. It was hard to lie to your friends, especially Eunseok and Hana, but something in your head kept convincing you that this was indeed a good idea. 

“You should’ve made a big reveal at the game” Hana acknowledges, a sweet smile on her face as she imagines herself in your position. “Our school would win, everyone cheering you on and then boom- you run up to Y/nnie and kiss her” she tells, a twinkle to her eyes. 

Niki laughs, and this time it seems genuine. He likes the thought of that, but can’t quite figure out why. Air is taken out of his lungs as he imagines carefully taking your jaw in one hand, and pressing a sweet kiss to your soft lips, as everyone cheers him on for leading the team to yet another victory. 

He can’t be thinking straight. 

“That’s a little bizarre don’t you think?” Sunghoon asks Hana, remembering watching something similar with the girl. 

Hana shakes her head, and he just chuckles at her persistence “I’m just giving him ideas, subtly” 

“Very subtle” Niki answers, and she winks at him. 

“Are we still on for the after party at yours?” Eunseok asks, turning his head towards Jake who seems to be totally out of it, as he hurriedly copies Sunghoon's chemistry homework. 

“Yeah, yeah. No matter if we win” he mumbles, devoted to a completely different world at the moment. 

A small smile forms on your face. You would definitely hold Niki tight, making sure no girl pulls him out of your grasp for a quick seven minutes in heaven. It’s all fake, though. Nothing more than just a pact between two sworn enemies who want a little more peace in their life. 

“Even if we lose, we still need to celebrate a good game” Niki smiles, and Eunseok smiles at his attitude. 

“With a captain like you my guy, we ain’t never losing” Eunseok winks at Niki, receiving a small laugh and bow from the boy. 

You felt guilty. This was the first time in a while when everything felt so gratifying and free amongst your friend group. With the constant fighting and teasing you never seemed to notice the charming dynamic between everyone. It felt like all along the both of you were the problem, and maybe your friends accepted this suspicious relationship so quickly, because it meant they got to experience moments like this once again. 

“What do these fucking hieroglifs say, I can’t decipher this shit” Jake grunts with frustration, as he pulls the notebook closer. 

Sunghoon laughs and tries to carefully explain every line of text to Jake. 

Maybe you were too focused on your own problems with Niki to notice that this is what could’ve been of your friend group. 

____

You and Niki seemed to get closer as time passed. 

The both of you didn’t even notice it, the barrier between you passing by like a breeze. It came all so naturally, and you never knew you’d have so much in common with the boy you swore you hated. 

You would accustom him to his practice sometimes, and he’d proudly show you off to all his teammates. The lines between faking it and being truthful have faded by now, confusing your heart a little. But just a little. Because at the end of the day it was fake. 

“I think it’s time you pay me back,” Niki said, a mischievous smile decorating his face. 

You looked at him with a confused expression “For what exactly?” 

He smiles, and brings his backpack to his chest, rummaging through it to find the key item. 

Niki was smart, very smart. He didn’t earn the number three rank for no reason, proudly representing the school on the pitch and in numerous academic competitions. Yet his mind couldn’t quite understand anything written in his physics textbook. He passed by fine, but it never satisfied him to cheat on his tests, and pay Sunghoon to do his homework for him. 

“Tutoring? Seriously? And what did you do to deserve it?” you asked, raising your eyebrow. 

He smiles widely “Well I haven’t seen any sappy men bothering you, so I think you owe me this one” 

“I haven’t seen any sappy girls bothering you either, so I thought we were even” you answer, not giving into his request just yet. 

You knew you’d do it. You did everything he asked you to do. 

“C’mon Y/n! I need your help, just this one time, please?” he pleaded, a pout on his face “I won’t be able to play in the game this week if I don’t get a good grade on this test” he adds in an attempt to convince you. 

You laugh at his desperation, and nod your head “Fine, but you owe me one” 

He nods hurriedly, and pulls out all the things you’ll need to give him the greatest tutoring session ever. 

“Imagine you’re driving a car” you said sketching a simple diagram “When you hit the brakes, what happens?” 

Niki furrowed his eyebrows, and you wondered how he couldn’t comprehend such a simple concept as Newton's laws. It was cute in a way. 

“Well I slow down, but that’s too obvious. This is probably a much more complex answer, isn’t it?” he pondered the question. 

“No Niki, it’s that simple” you laugh “That’s Newton's first law in action. An object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an external force. When you hit the brakes, you apply force to the car, causing it to decelerate” 

His eyes lit up in understatement, as he tried to solve another question you threw at him. 

“Was it really that hard?” you asked him with a small smile, and he hesitated at first. 

His eyes glazed through the notebook, but soon enough he answered “Not really. It was much better when you explained it rather than Ms. Lee” 

“I’m glad” you answered “If it’s really that bad, you can ask me for help” 

“It really isn’t that bad though” Niki answered, with a chuckle. 

“Oh c’mon you don’t even understand Newton's laws, it is bad” you reply. 

“Okay you geek, I get it. But I thought I have to deserve your tutoring?” he questioned, a small smirk on his face. 

“You gotta help out a dumb bitch once in a while” he pretends to be offended at your words. 

Not so long ago, he’d probably blow up at you for those words. He’d probably make a scene, resulting in everyone being uncomfortable for a good two days. This time was different. You were different. 

“The way you talk to me- it’s unlike you” you inquire suddenly, after a moment of calming silence. 

“How come?” Niki asks, not raising his gaze from the workbook. 

“Your voice is softer” you smile, and he can’t help but reciprocate. 

It brings him a weird comfort. The words passing by your lips, make his heart warmer, a trickling yet pleasing feeling in his spine. He can’t quite pinpoint the moment you touched his mind so intimately, erasing any barrier between you and him. Being with you felt so easy. It feels so easy, that he even forgets why he hated you in the first place. 

“Are you coming to my game?” he asked, a new found passion for physics coursing through his veins as he solves yet another problem with ease. 

You looked at him adoringly “Obviously” 

He chuckled “I’m glad” he looked up at you “But I thought you hated football” 

Well you did. You hated it because Niki played it. But even if he didn't ask you, you’d come. 

“I just don't understand it, that’s all” you gave him a half smile, looking through his textbook for any more challenging questions for Niki to solve. 

“You don't have to be there if you don't want to, Y/n” 

You seem to enjoy the way your name slips his lips so delicately. 

“No no, I want to be there for you, and I think It’d be sus if I didn't show up. Plus, Hana has some new crush and wants to see him play” you chuckle, and so does Niki, noting that the girl falls in love with anyone and everybody. 

“Is it Jay? I’ve seen them mingling before” he questions and you shake your head. 

“Jay was last month, old news. I think his name is Sungchan? Or Seunghan, I don't know” you ponder the question, going back to that one conversation you had with the girl about her new love interest. 

The possibility that he’s also not the guy she likes now is very high-her heart swooning for any man that gives her the time of day. 

Hana was gorgeous and incredibly sweet. No wonder she had a new talking stage every week, no boy being able to handle her. 

“Sungchan. He’s a good guy. I can approve of him, definitely better than Jay” he recalls many situations including Jay, where the boy proved himself to be absolutely useless and weird. 

Maybe it was his team captain complex, but Niki seemed to notice many things that others didn't. His duty was to take care of his teammates, so catching onto the tiniest things was inevitable. 

“What’s wrong with Jay?” you question, and he laughs wondering if the words will even peer out of his mouth. 

“He’s like, fucking perverted” he laughs “Well maybe not that badly, but still, he’s just proper dodgy” 

You're shocked at his admission, and internally  glad your best-friend  got over him so quickly. 

Your conversation with Niki seemed to flow so easily. You never had to try hard, something always slipping off your tongue, his personality making it so easy. You never thought you’d have so much in common with Niki, so much to talk to him about. You were so fixated on something that was beyond his control, instead of pissing Jake off for being a horrible friend. 

____ 

“I need to go to the bathroom quickly before the game starts” Hana said hurriedly, her small figure rushing towards the bathroom, making you smile to yourself. 

You blush. You remember the brief mention Hana made, expressing the want for a more romantic expose of the relationship between you and Niki. You wonder if Niki remembers too. 

Usually you never cared for the highschool football games, skipping in order to study more or spend time with your best-friend. This time was different, you felt like a trophy to your oh-so-fake boyfriend, excited to see what comes after he scores a winning touchdown. 

“Can we talk?” Minjun’s voice takes you by surprise, making you stop in a halt. 

“Uh, sure” you reply, taken aback by the sudden serious tone and demeanor, knowing him from the bubbly personality and sweet voice. 

“I know you’re faking it” your heart sinks “Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to yourself? Seriously, Niki?” he asks, and you go completely silent, trying to figure out a reasonable answer to his accusations. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Minjun,” you say after a moment of uncomfortable silence. 

A frown tugs at the corners of his mouth. He didn’t expect that reply. He doesn’t know what he really expected in the first place. 

“For whatever reason you are doing this, you could’ve just asked me. Why didn’t you ask me? I would’ve helped you, no matter how stupid it is” he kept going, and it felt like you were digging yourself deeper into this lie. 

He remembers standing in this same place, your hand hitting his arm playfully, your eyes lighting up at anything he said. In some way, he feels just as barren and vulnerable in your silence as he had that day. 

“Minjun, I think you should go join the rest of the team. They’re probably looking for you” you answered, wondering why Hana hasn’t come to save you by now. 

“I really liked you Y/n. Like really fucking liked you. I don’t know why you're doing this, especially why you’re helping out that asshole Niki” he added quietly, as Hana came up to the two of you. 

“Minjun!” she smiled at him, and he forced one himself “Fighting Minjunnie! I’m rooting for you! We both are!” she cheered. 

“Surely” he said, leaving the two of you. 

Hana turned to you confused with Minjun's sudden ignorance “Did you two fight or something?” she asked. 

“It’s nothing. I think he’s just stressed out” you replied calmly, leading the girl out to the bleachers. 

You tried to focus. You tried to be the perfect (fake) girlfriend for Niki, as he played one of his most important games, but Minjun’s words sunk so deep. They were all you could think about. 

You couldn't quite figure out why you didn't just admit it. Why didn't just tell him everything and end the bet with Niki? You wanted to so badly before. 

“Sungchan is playing like a bitch right now” Eunseok commented, disappointed with his friends performance. 

“Don't say that, Eunseok!” Hana slaps his forearm and he laughs at her anger. 

At least you knew she was still crushing on him, instead of Jay. 

“No seriously, what is going on with that man” Sunghoon said, squinting slightly, his eyes trailing behind Sungchans figure. 

Hana kept hushing them, begging for her friends to not speak so badly about her soon-to-be husband. You found it adorable, noting to ask Niki to set her up with him. 

“Our boy is doing so well though. Maybe he actually needed a girl in his life” Eunseok smiled at you. 

You felt a heat rush to your cheeks at his words, wondering if he actually performed any better this time. 

Maybe he was trying to show off in front of you? Or make you proud? 

“He’s been training like crazy” you say, and they keep hyping him up. 

“Jakey, are you okay?” Hana asked the boy sitting next to you, concerned when she noticed his tired face. 

He smiled “I’m fine, Hana. Don’t worry” he said fondly “Look Sungchan is waving at you” he pointed, the girl immediately turning her figure towards him to wave back. 

“Did you just see that? He waved at me! Sungchan waved at me!” Hana gleamed excitedly, Eunseok looking at her with disgust. 

“I can’t believe you like his bitchass” he half-smiled, shaking his head in a playful act of disbelief. 

“Aren't you two friends? Oh I’m so telling him about this” she replied, and he put his hands up. 

“Maybe your fantasy will come true” you inquire, and Hana’s mind races back to the moment she imagined a dreamy kiss on the field. 

“With the way he’s playing, I doubt there will be anything to celebrate” Jake said, and Hana hummed tiredly. 

“Can you guys leave him alone? He’s tired, okay?” she mused, and everyone nodded, done with teasing the girl. 

You can’t help but stare at Niki. Even with the heavy gear, he still manages to look good. When did he get so attractive? How come you’ve never noticed the pretty little mole on his chin, his gorgeous lips that begged for your touch, and eyes that grew whenever he talked about something he loves. He was right in front of you this whole time. 

You practically begged for Minjun’s attention just a couple weeks back, yet now you felt yourself fading away from the feelings for him. You can’t bring yourself to come up with any conclusion, or to bother with distractions, but why? Why was it so hard to just accept the truth as it was: you wanted Niki to want you. 

The game was nearing the end, and Niki could already smell the victory coming his way. He wanted to make you proud, he wanted to see your smile while you ran up to him, praises spewing from your mouth as he hugs you tightly. He hated that it was all fake, the realization dawning upon him; he wants you to want him. 

But he knows deep down that it’ll never be the two of you. 

A loud horn breaks your trail of thoughts, the audience screaming happily as Niki scores the winning touchdown. It was just like how you imagined, wondering if he’ll actually kiss you now. You know you wanted him to. 

He took off his helmet, his hair ruffled, beads of sweat falling down his face, but a wide smile when he spots you with a wide grin striding towards him. It’s just like he imagined. 

He doesn’t know what to do. Everyone is looking, and this is the moment he could victoriously hold you. It would make his ego grow, the perfect highschool popular kid image never dwindling, but what would you think of it? God what if you pushed him off of you in front of everyone. 

As much as he could prevent things from happening or predict anything, he couldn’t have known that you would be the one to initiate his deep rooted fantasy. He couldn’t have prepared himself for your pretty lips that pressed against him in a chaste, sweet kiss. You felt so good against him, and he couldn’t find himself pulling away. He never expected himself to enjoy such a fucking cliche moment- but here he was, wanting more and more. 

He wants to tell you everything in that moment- how he wanted this too, how he’d imagined your lips against his, and how he wants to kiss you everywhere. He knows he could. He’d even blame it on the slip of his unruly tongue. Yet there was a boundary he’d have to walk upon, a fear of losing you prevailing his selfishness. He knows he won’t. 

“Wh-” he tries, and fails to still his breathing. Niki hopes you can’t hear the tremble in his voice “How was it?” he asks, his voice unsteady. He doesn’t care though. 

“Your game or the kiss” you smile, and he wonders how you can be so calm about this. 

He smiles shyly “Both” 

“Stop” you laugh and he feels himself float above his body “You did great” 

“All for you” his response is amorous. 

Niki can’t help but laugh at your silence, watching you replay those words in your head. He pats your head, and throws his arm over your shoulder. 

How could any of this possibly be fake? 

“Good fucking game dude” Eunseok exclaimed, with a bright smile on his face, as everyone else decided to join you by Niki’s side. 

You looked around, a giddy and gleeful Hana, hugging a tired and sweaty Sungchan, as he smiled at her affection. Everyone had happily come down to congratulate the team, but Minjun was nowhere to be seen. Maybe you never intended to hurt him, but you so obviously did. 

“Jake you better fucking continue this energy at your disgustingly rich mansion” Sunghoon warned, and Jake smiled at his words. 

“You don’t have to worry about that” he replied contentedly, and you were glad to see him like this. 

Jake was rich. Like really fucking rich. To the point that he was offended when ‘eat the rich’ was trending, defending that he didn’t choose this life. His mansion in the hills was the go to spot for summer and any other party.

 But then again, it’s not like he didn’t have people to clean up after everything goes silent. 

_____ 

“Y/n!” you turned, your eyes meeting Wonbin’s, as you entered the kitchen you knew better than anyone present. 

You smiled, as the boy moved in your direction holding a red solo cup. 

Wonbin was your designated drink mixer and party buddy for whatever event hosted by whoever. You wouldn't call him a close friend, rather a person you’d talk to only on a special occasion. 

“Where your boyfriend at?” he asked with a grin, making you chuckle. 

The word didn't make your heart feel weird anymore. It felt so natural, normal, and sometimes you’d even forget it was all fake. For the past couple of weeks you’ve learned to forget easily, not wanting to pick apart Niki’s actions to maybe notice a pattern. You didn’t want to accidentally misinterpret. 

“Probably playing some stupid game in the living room” you sighed, hoping to get a little more out of him this time. 

You knew that the fake relationship was coming to an end, it already had gone on for way too long. 

“Mhm” Wonbin hummed, resting his body on the kitchen counter “It’s fake isn’t it?” he asked, taking you by surprise. 

You had absolutely no idea what to say. Wonbin really wasn't a part of any friend group you knew or were in, so what was the shame in telling him the truth? But it’d hurt your pride too much to say the truth out loud. 

You avoided eye contact, not knowing what reply would secure your safety and not damage your pride. Your silence made Wonbin laugh “C’mon, you can tell me” 

“It’s so embarrassing” you admit, and he shakes his head. 

“Not really. There’s plenty of girls who dream of this whole fake dating type of shit” he defended, and it made you smile lightly. 

He was right. There were girls out there who fantasized about a fake relationship, and there definitely were also girls who dream about a relationship with Nishimura Riki. 

Even though you initially hated his guts, maybe you were lucky after all? 

“I just can't comprehend the fact you chose Niki out of all people to be your fake boyfriend” he chuckled, and took a sip of his own drink. 

“It was his idea, I promise” you replied, and Wonbin mouthed a ‘no fucking way’, unable to imagine Niki, the person who swore he hated everything about you, ask you to be his fake girlfriend. 

“People can be really annoying, and I guess we just had some things in common after all” you added, and he nodded, still trying to visualize the situation you described. 

In a way it felt good to tell someone. You had been hiding it for so long, the lies eating you alive. 

It had been so long that you didn't even know what had become of this initially fake relationship. The line had already been blurred a long time ago, and it was hard to move along it at this point. He had done so many things, in private, that you didn't know where you stood anymore. 

“I can tell you actually like him” Wonbin admitted, once again taking you by surprise “The way you talk about him, it’s different” 

“You act so smart and psychological, it’s so annoying” you huffed, and turned away from him, chugging the drink he had previously made for you. 

He laughed “The truth hurts, doesn't it?” 

“I don’t like Niki” you said, trying to sound as confident as you could, but Wonbin saw right through you anyway. 

He didn't want to continue the topic, knowing he had already exhausted your limits. You also knew that no matter what, admitting something like that out loud wouldn't be easy either. 

The built up hatred and anger you had for Niki, couldn't have just disappeared so easily after a couple conversations and hangouts. But it did. And it frustrated you so much. 

“You guys playing spin the bottle in the living room with us?” a red faced Hana asked, peeking her head into the kitchen slightly. 

“With us, meaning?” Wonbin asked, making Hana slightly stumble into the kitchen. 

She started putting down her fingers “Well me, obviously” she smiled “Sungchannie, thank god” she let out a steady, thankful breath “Some girls, Oh Jia, Lee Chae, I don’t really recognize the rest. Oh, and Eunseok, Yang Jungwon, Minjunnie and some others” she went on, her drunken state making the explanation much longer than it should've been. 

“No, no, no! Niki too! Y/n you need to come!” she exclaimed, eyes wide. She took your hand and pulled you with her. 

You looked at Wonbin pleadingly, and with a small smile he trailed right behind the two of you. He always claimed to be ‘too old’ for those type of games, but always ended up staying till the end of any. 

Park Wonbin was truly full of shit. 

Your eyes met Niki’s as he sat in the circle, his back pressed against the couch. You looked at him, mouthing ‘what are you doing’ and he pointed to Oh Jia sitting across from him. 

You knew she liked him, and it definitely didn't make you happy. 

“I can see some couples here, yall into shit like this?” Jungwon asked, eyeing not only you and Niki, but Hana and Sungchan who seemed to have already made the news that went around school. 

You chuckled quietly and shook your head “It’s nothing that serious, just a stupid game” 

“It will be serious for you soon” Jia mumbled, her friend turning to her with a shit eating grin. 

Oh if they only knew how absolutely out of it they looked. What the fuck were they even talking about anyway. 

“I don’t think we should be playing this” you whispered to Niki, who previously patted down a seat for you next to himself. 

“Look how many people are playing, doubt me or you will get chosen” he smiled, and you nodded.

Still, isn't the sole fact you are even agreeing to participate weird? Shouldn’t you be mingling in a closet somewhere deep inside the house? God what was he thinking. This was so unbelievable, and you weren't surprised  that Wonbin had caught on. 

“Me first!” Hana cheered excitedly, as Eunseok had finally brought a bottle to play with. 

You looked over at Sungchan, who had a sad expression on his face. You could see his eyes praying on the bottle to land on him, his hands trembling with each spin. It was cute. 

The Gods above must have heard his prayers, the bottle landing on him with no doubt. 

He smiled and leaned into your bestfriend to plant a quick kiss on her lips. She pouted and grabbing his head, pushed for more. Maybe she was drunk, but you knew she’d remember this well. Although a witness, you’d hear about it for a long long time. 

“I’m guessing you don’t want to spin, Sungchan?” Eunseok chuckled, and the boy holding onto Hana, shook his head no. 

“Two players down so quickly” a boy with black hair, who you didn't recognize, commented. 

While Jungwon went in to spin, your eyes caught Minjun’s. You couldn't read him, his expression stone cold. He was either mad at you or didn't care. That’s the thing, you didn't know. 

“Stop looking at him” Niki whispered, cutting your moment with Minjun short. 

“I think he’s mad at me” you said, and Niki furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 

“Why?” he asked, eyeing Minjun down. 

“He figured it out, you know, figured us out” you replied, putting emphasis on the word ‘us’ “I didn't admit, obviously, and that’s why I think he’s mad. He’s convinced I played him on purpose” you added, and Niki’s gaze softened. 

“I’m sorry” he said quietly, his eyes falling onto his lap. 

You looked at him confused, “What are you talking about?” 

He finally looked over at you, his face displaying a half smile, that felt cold to you “I ruined your chances with Minjun. I guess I was only thinking about myself back then, so I’m saying sorry. I can talk to him when this is over” he answered, and you felt your heart break. 

He didn't like Minjun, you knew it very well. Minjun knew it too. But somehow he felt bad for the both of you. If only he knew how much you didn't care about Kim Minjun at this moment. How much you actually cared about the boy next to you. Maybe if he knew he wouldn't feel so sorry, you thought. 

“You don't have to be sorry, Niki. We both wanted this” you smiled, and squeezed his hand. 

“I can tell Niki really wants to go now” Sunghoon exclaimed, and hurried Niki to spin the bottle. 

The boy hesitated, looking over at you. You nodded for him to go ahead with a smile. God was this weird? You agreeing to your (fake) boyfriend playing fucking spin the bottle. Not only that , but playing with him. This was so stupid. 

He took the small soju bottle, and spinned it lightly. He prayed it would fall on you. 

Or one of his bros, no homo of course. 

The music was blaring, and you hoped that bottle could feel your intense stare, successfully landing on you. 

As much as luck was on Sungchan’s side today, he seemingly took all of it with him earlier. The bottle pointed straight at Oh Jia, the girl who was known for her little obsession with Niki. 

She looked at you with a disgusting smile, and moved her body towards Niki. He looked at you, and you didn't even know what to say. You couldn't tell him no, he wasn't yours after all. 

“Sorry, Y/n” she muttered, and you felt your blood boil at her annoying, high pitched voice. 

She moved even closer, but her actions were stopped with Niki moving the bottle's nozzle to point at you. 

He didn't even let you or Jia speak, eagerly going in to kiss your lips he missed so much. It hasn't even been 3 hours since you initiated the first one, but his lips starved for your touch. You could feel it. You could feel the desperation in his movements. The taste of his chapstick mixing in with the saliva, it was much more passionate than last time. 

“Payback for last time” he mumbled, pulling away, his voice unsteady. 

You looked at him dumbfounded. What the fuck did he just do? Was this another stunt to show off his cool, popular boy persona, cause it seemed just like that. But you couldn't blame him either, you started it. 

No matter what, it felt good, and you wondered how to get yourself to stop. 

“That’s cheating!” Jia’s friend exclaimed, crossing her arms. 

“The bottle is clearly on her, I don't know what you're talking about” Wonbin defended, and you smiled at him. 

Jia huffed, leaving the game along with her friend. 

“We’ll leave too” you said, watching them go upstairs. 

Jungwon sighed “I’m forced to kiss the boys now” 

You looked around, not a single woman in the circle that was initially full. 

You pulled Niki’s hand, taking him to an empty room. He felt confident at that moment, rehearsing his confession in his head. He was going to tell you. He was going to tell you, and it was going to be amazing. You’d listen to him in awe, and then agree to be his actual girlfriend. 

“I have something to tell you” he said, as you closed the door behind yourself. 

He sat down on the bed, and you stood in front of him “Me too” 

“You go first” he smiled, and you looked out the window, the words lingering at the tip of your tongue. 

You wanted to tell him how you actually felt. But you knew you couldn't. You were enemies, nothing more. 

“We should end this,” you said after a moment of silence. 

_____ 

Things had gone back to normal. 

You didn’t expect much from Niki, guessing he’d either be overly nice to you, expressing his thankfulness for helping him get rid of annoying fangirls, or go back to being annoying himself. 

But he was neither. He didn’t say anything. Just like he didn’t say anything that day, he had gone completely quiet ever since. Instead of teasing you, he ignored you. 

He ate lunch with the football team, and it hurt you to see him laugh purely with them. It even seemed like he had gotten along with Minjun, which confused you even further. They hated each other, but now? It seemed like they were just laughing at your misery, getting high off of seeing you like this. Was this just a huge plan to get you looking like a complete loser?

Maybe he should’ve been sorry that day, not only did you lose Minjun, but everyone of your fanboys at this school. That sounded awful, but it was partially true.

You two had only revealed the 'breakup' to your closest friends, not exactly reaching any agreement regarding the rest of the students. 

You could pretend to be mad at him in front of your friends, but it hurt you so much. It hurt to see him behave like this towards you, knowing you did nothing wrong. You two were never real, so why was he so different so suddenly. You just hoped that it was a performance for your friends to make it more believable, but as days went by, you started to doubt it. 

“This is a sign that I shouldn’t regret not dating Hana,” Sunghoon chuckled, looking over at the table Niki was seemingly having more fun at. He never laughed like this with all of you. 

Was it all for show?

“Fuck off” you mumbled, looking down at your lunch, which was vastly unappetising today. 

“It’s not your fault, Y/n, don’t worry. For all I know, it was probably his fault anyways” Jake said, which made you suddenly look up from your food for the first time in a while. 

“You defending me?” you chuckled, and he shrugged. 

You looked over at Niki once again, attempting to catch him looking at you too. 

But he can’t. He can’t bear to look at you. He can only think about the dark heat of that room, your words ringing in his ears. Resisting the searing force that wanted, more than anything, to try and tell you again. 

“God, this is so annoying!” Hana exclaimed “Y/nnie didn’t do anything, and he’s acting like a pussy all of a sudden” 

She pouted, a weird vibe circulating all of you today. It felt like you were mourning him in some way. 

You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, a text message from Minjun lighting up your homescreen. It was ironic, a picture of you and Niki on your lock screen, a message from Minjun decorating it. 

Minjun: Can we talk? 

You thought about replying, the scenarios of him playing a stupid prank on you along with Niki replaying in your mind. Nevertheless, you texted back a short confirmation, and locked your phone. 

You could feel his eyes on you, as you set your phone down on the table. 

…

“What did you want to talk about?” you asked, your voice unsure of the situation. 

It felt familiar, meeting in the equipment room, but this time instead of Niki who had the prettiest face out there, it was Kim Minjun.

“I knew it was fake” he said, and you felt a heat rise to your cheeks. 

You looked away from him, your eyes landing on the window. The sky was gray, the sun no longer shining in through it. 

“I don’t want to talk about this again, Minjun,” you sighed, tired of the topic already. Especially tired of talking about it with him. 

“No that’s not the point” he stopped you from leaving, you turned towards him once again. 

“Then what is it Minjun? Did Niki tell you all about it? Did he tell you how stupid I was to fall for him, even though it was all fake? Did you get me to come here only so you could make fun of me for being so naive? Is that what it is?” you blurted out. You had suddenly lost control over your words, your response coming out much harsher than you intended. 

“What are you talking about? Do you seriously think I’m plotting behind your back with Niki?” he asked hurriedly. 

Now that he said it, out loud, it sounded so stupid. You knew Niki long enough to know he hates Minjun more than he has ever hated you, and would never ever make any deal with him.

“Maybe” you huffed, turning from him “I don’t know Minjun. Can you just say it already?” 

He sat down on the chair in the far right corner, his hand signaling for you to come closer, patting down the chair next to him. 

“I guess I did sort of figure it out, the fact that what you and Niki had was fake. But he told me about it himself recently. He also said you didn’t intend to hurt me, and that he forced you to do this whole fake dating thing” Minjun relayed the message, and you didn’t know Niki would remember your conversation during that stupid game. 

Niki was evidently mad at you for ending things with him, but encouraging Minjun to try with you once again? That was what pissed you off the most, you couldn’t figure him out in any possible way. One day you can’t figure out the actual intention behind his words, exchanging sweet words and kisses, and the other, going back to complete strangers. Not even enemies, strangers. 

“He really said that?” you asked, and Minjun nodded “I really didn’t want to hurt you Minjun. I’m sorry for leading you on, in some way. I should’ve never agreed to it in the first place” you add, avoiding eye contact with the boy. 

You hear him chuckle, and with a furrow to your eyebrows you look up at him. 

He smiles “It’s not your fault I already know that much. I shouldn’t have blown up on you before the match like that anyways. It truly is none of my business who you hang out with” he assured, and it made you feel a little better. 

“I know, but I just hope you can still speak to me comfortably after this” you gave him a small smile, still unsure of your situation with him. 

“I’m not going to try and get with you again though, don't worry” he said calmly, and although you knew it, it still felt weird to hear. 

You chuckled “Not to sound selfish, but why? Am I not cute anymore?” you pouted sarcastically, and he laughed. 

“I can see you like him, like a lot. I even felt stupid for saying those things to you, cause you made it so believable at the party. The way you look at him, the way you speak to him, that’s not fake. All of it is real, and I wouldn’t want to stand in the middle of that” he answered, and you felt your heart skip a beat. 

And you thought you were good at hiding it. 

“Niki doesn’t feel the same though” you gave him a sad smile, fiddling with the material of your sweater. 

“You think so?” he asks, but it doesn't necessarily sound like a question. 

You hum in agreement, and he chuckles lightly “The same goes for him. Trust me it’s real. I can see it, hear it and feel it. The way his voice was so sad yet hopeful when he spoke to me about you, I know he likes you. Niki is just really stubborn, and he’d rather live in misery and not tell anyone instead of just admitting his feelings to you, or honestly anyone else” he explains, and you feel your heart start to beat faster. 

Was he right? Did Niki like you? Or did Minjun have a terrible judge of character and all this way a complete bullshit.

“What should I do then? Gosh this is so annoying” you sighed, combing your fingers through your hair. 

“Tell him? What else is there to do? If I’m wrong, which I’m not” he smiled proudly “-and he doesn’t like you, I owe you big time” he offered. 

“I don’t know if I should take that risk, though” you said, and he rolled his eyes playfully. 

“Do you really want it to be like this for the rest of highschool? God, if he doesn’t like you, you’ll just find someone better” 

Easier said than done. 

But maybe he was right. At the end of the day you had nothing to lose, so why not just tell him?

“Fine” you grumble, and he laughs, taking your hand to pull you out of the room, before any teacher finds you. 

_____

You had left a note in his locker the next day, too scared to face him yourself. 

You waited, hiding your body behind the huge column, peeking to see if he had come to grab something from his locker already.

You felt like one of his fangirls. Giggling to yourself, as you awaited the arrival of your mighty savior, Nishimura Riki, hoping you are the one he picks. Hoping that he reads your note, and whispers an ‘I like you too’ rosy cheeked, hot breath and all. 

How did you get like this? You curse yourself for letting something so seemingly small, so innocent, writhe under your skin and possess your mind. 

You didn’t catch it, lost in your mind, envisioning the numerous scenarios that could occur after he receives your note. 

He sighs with annoyance, a note filling his locker, it had been so long since he received one, it felt unfamiliar. Niki was frustrated, hoping that the notes weren’t making a sudden comeback. 

He opens it, curious as to what it may be. He couldn’t help it, wanting to remind himself of the feeling reading confessions like this brought him. But what he didn’t expect was to see your name written on it. 

He thought it may have been a prank, a stupid way to get you back together made up by your dear friends, but it wasn’t. This was your handwriting, the same one that wrote all his physics notes and study guides. 

‘Niki, it’s Y/n. This is weird isn’t it? Like me writing notes to you. I hope you don’t see the pink envelope, and throw it out like you always do. But I’ll know if you do, anyways. Well first of all I wanted to apologize. I don’t even know what for, so this may be stupid, but I feel like I should. You looked so sad, and I know it’s because of me. So I’m sorry, Niki. If I did something wrong, something to hurt you, please tell me! Anyways, I wanted to tell you something. I like you Nishimura Riki. I’ve liked you for a long, long time now, but I myself didn’t know it just yet. But I’m saying it now, and I'm very much sure of it. I guess it took some stupid physics tutoring, geeky Wonbin and finally Minjun whom you hate so much for me to realize. God, maybe I shouldn’t talk about him in a note where I confess to you? Forget it. I didn’t kiss you that day to show off, I kissed you because I really freaking wanted to. And it felt so good when I did. So please don’t think I ended things with you that day because you kissed me, no, not at all. I guess I just couldn’t stand this relationship being fake, because to me, all the things I did were real. You don’t have to reciprocate, or even say anything, I just wanted you to know. And I would hope you feel the same, but it’s okay if you don’t’ 

His mouth runs dry. 

It explodes in his chest all at once; how bad he wants to grab a fistfull of your blazer, stroke his fingers against your ivory jaw, and kiss you senseless. He would rub his thumb against your swollen lips, and tell you how much he likes you. 

He looks around, spotting your shoe slightly peeking out from behind the column a little ahead of the lockers. 

“Baek Y/n!” he shouts, and you're suddenly brought back to reality. 

Your mind had been rushing for so long, you didn’t even notice Niki walking up to his locker, and managing to even read the whole note. 

You slightly peek your head out, and catch his eyes already looking at you. He strides towards you quickly, and you can’t tell if he’s mad or happy. He holds the note in his hand tightly as he stands in front of you. 

“What is this?” he smirks, and you still can’t tell if he’s about to make fun of you or return your feelings. 

You shrug, looking away from him. 

“It’s cute. You even put those stickers we bought at the stationery store on it” he points out, chuckling, and grabs your hand so you can face him again. “What do you think I’ll say now?” he tilts his head, and you find it incredibly attractive. 

“I don’t know” you murmured, unsure of the situation you have gotten yourself into. 

“Let’s see” he scans the note again “I think I like you too” he smiles, and you don’t know if he’s fucking with you or not. 

“You think?” you ask, copying his action by tilting your head slightly. 

He laughs “Are you really going to make me say it?” 

You nod with a smile “Mmm” 

“Yes Y/n, I like you. I don’t think I like you, I definitely like you. I’ve also liked you for a long time, but I didn’t want to admit it because I knew you probably didn’t. And that day, when you ended things, I wanted to tell you. But I’m glad you did it, even if I had to wait a little longer. That fake relationship was fucking with my head big time” he answers, and you feel stupid for not letting him speak first that day. You could’ve avoided this whole misunderstanding. 

But things happen for a reason. 

“Are you being for real?” you ask, and he chuckles. 

He grabs your shoulders “Very real” 

You pull him closer, tightly embracing his body. He smiles, the familiar scent hitting his nose. Niki’s cheeks are glowing red, and he can’t hide his toothy smile. 

“So would you want to be my girlfriend, like my real girlfriend” he asks, his voice muffled by the material of your sweater. 

You laugh lightly at his tone “I don’t know…. You tell me” you tease, and he pulls away to look at you with a small pout. 

“Cmon, just tell me” he pleads. 

“Yes Niki, I want to be your real girlfriend” you answer, emphasizing the word ‘real’. 

You sit up on the couch, eyes widening as you grab the TV remote and turn up the volume. 

“The mysterious ghost face kill strikes again, killing two more college students in the library this morning. The bodies were discovered by…”

You quickly shot to your feet, grabbing your jacket and camera and slipping your feet into your boots tying them quickly as you slipped out your dorm door. 

You never were so happy to live on campus as you ran from the dorm building and across campus to the library. Students surrounded the main entrance and you pushed your way through finally seeing the inside of the library. 

“Hey!” a police officer yelled at you when you slipped under the caution tape, “You can’t be back here!” 

You eyed him, pulling out your student journaling ID, “I have every right to be here.” 

The officer tried to protest, but you kept your stride, making your way to the bodies ignoring the yelling officer behind you. 

The closer you got, the more the smell of blood filled your senses, making your skin crawl. Your journaling partner was already on the scene, standing at the edge of the other caution tape marking off the two bodies. 

You stood beside him, your heart sinking as you took in the bodies of the two females lying dead in front of you. They were just freshmen. Barely made it into college and fully started their lives. 

From what you could see, they were stabbed multiple times in the chest and abdomen. One of their necks was slit, and the other looked like they were stabbed through their throat. They suffered, for sure. 

“Who found them?” you asked him, taking your eyes off the dead bodies and turning to your partner. He had one arm crossed over his chest and gripped his elbow as his other arm was reached up and fingers gripping his chin. 

He slowly tilted his head to look at you, streaks of his black hair fell into his eyes, “Funny enough,” he sighs, “Sunghoon and myself.” 

You completely turned your whole body to him, “That’s why you’re here before me?! Jake, what happened?!” 

Jake chucked, “You're more worried that I was here before you?” you narrowed your eyes at him, and he sighed again, completely wrapping his arms over his chest, looking back at the bodies. You could have sworn you saw a sparkle glint in his eyes. Jake has always been excited to be on the scene, same as you. But he enjoyed it a little bit more than you. He’ll make one damn good detective one day for sure, “Wanted to check out a book and saw the door already unlocked for the campus not even fully being opened yet. And that's when we found the bodies.” 

“Where is Sunghoon now?” you asked, looking around the library, spotting him with the librarian and being questioned by a detective. 

You went to walk over, to ask him questions, but Jake stopped you, putting a hand on your shoulder and pulling you towards him, his arm wrapping around over your chest, “Don’t question him, he’s really shaken up,” You wanted to protest, only for Jake to squeeze you tightly against him, your back pressing further into his chest, “Please, YN, he’s my best friend. I’ll take care of it. I promise.” 

You sigh and nod. Letting Jake take the lead with this one. 

But you still had a job to do. So you pulled out your camera, taking a few photos. Once you finished with the photos, you pulled your journal from your back pocket, asked Jake a few questions, and took his account down then turned back to the bodies and took your own notes. 

You circled the area, taking in every inch and piece of information you could. Jotting down everything in your little notebook. 

Jake kept his eyes on you, watching you do your thing. His eyes sparkled more the longer his eyes lingered on you. He eventually dropped his gaze and went back to looking at his best friend, watching as he sat at one of the tables, knees pressed to his chest and hands curled into his hair. The small smile Jake had fell at the sight of his best friend and—

“Jake!” You called for him, bringing his attention back to you, “I think I found something.” 

“Oh?” He walks over to you and kneels down on the floor beside you, your camera resting on your knees as you point your finger toward one of the dead girls, “What am I looking at honey?” 

You groaned and rolled your eyes, “Under her body, there’s a black glove,” you looked at Jake. His jaw clenched tightly, “The killer must have accidentally lost it, dropped it, or whatever. Maybe she fought them or something. I don’t know. But I want to figure it out.” 

You took a few close-up photos of the glove and turned back around to show Jake, noticing a scratch mark sliding down the left side of his neck. You hadn’t seen it before since you were standing on his right side, but it looked deep and irritated, “What happened there?” You reached up to touch it, but he grabbed your hand quickly and set it down at your side. 

“Hoon and I were wrestling earlier at our apartment and I hit the side of your entertainment center, I am fine.” 

You thinned your lips into a line, boys will be boys you guess. Their apartment was a lot smaller than the dorms on campus, they must have been fucking around at a good spot to have knocked Jake into their entertainment center. 

Eventually, the police shooed you and Jake off the scene. Forcing you two to head to the journaling office. You printed off the photos you took and made copies of your notes, passing them to Jake. 

You glanced at the clock, it was now ten thirty am and classes would be resuming like normal, so you and Jake went your separate ways. 

Jake was still new to being a journalist. You were a club of two, consisting of just you and another girl who helped write the articles for you while you took care of the rest. She wrote her own things, mostly on the sports or other small crimes that happen on campus, but with the ghost face killer making his rounds, you took up the role of this case with her helping on the side. At first, you took it all on yourself, but as the body count started piling up, you needed the help. So you let her help and put out an application for an extra set of hands, which Jake answered. 

You’ve seen him around campus before he joined you. Was born and raised in this town. Being the town's sweetheart and golden puppy boy. You did some research on him before allowing him into your club, can’t have the killer join you, right?

He was the captain of his soccer team in middle and high school. Has taken his school’s team to the championships multiple times and was the heartthrob of the school. He donated to charity when he could and volunteered at the police station on the weekends in hopes of landing a good detective job there after graduation. He was the whole definition of a straight-A good boy student. Perfect for your team. He became your partner and you taught him everything you knew. When Jake joined, the body count from this ghost face killer was only three. But with the two bodies that were found today, it was now at fifteen. 

In between your classes, you found yourself back at the club office, pinning the new photos to the corkboard in the back of the room, wrapping red string between the pushpins and possible suspects. After staring at the corkboard for what felt like hours, the other female club member came in and you helped her write the article. Give her your notes and advising as she writes. 

Jake popped in and out of the office as well, brainstorming with you about the suspects and the time of events that happened. You both spun in circles that led to nowhere. You ask Jake again about speaking to Sunghoon, and he shoots you down, “Give him some time. I’ll get the police report soon and it’ll help, I am sure.” 

A week has gone by since the murder in the library. You ended up shifting the corkboard from the office and into the corner of your kitchen, using the fluorescent light of the kitchen bulbs to light the board more. You leaned against the back of your couch, it being the furthest you could step away from the board. Biting at your nails as your eyes scanned every murder case. Every newspaper article and police report on the board. 

Nothing made sense. Nothing connected. Whoever this killer was, they were good. Covered their tracks without so much as a piece of hair at any scene of their crimes. Until the glove. 

You ran your hands into your long hair, scratching at the back of your head. You needed that police report that Jake still has yet to give you. Needed to speak to Sunghoon. There were missing pieces and those two things were important. You looked over to the clock above the kitchen sink. It was almost one thirty in the morning. But you still got up and slid into your sneakers, pulled your jacket on, and bounced out the door. 

Finding yourself in front of Jake and Sunghoon’s front door, knocking loudly. There was no answer. So you did the next best thing and called Jake’s cell phone. 

There was some shuffling on the other end of the door and a groan. The door opened and you find a half-awake Jake before you, his hair a mess and spreading in every direction, wearing a plain white tee shirt and a pair of black and blue checkered boxers, “YN,” he sleepily growled and then yawned, “It’s almost two am, what is it?” 

“Can I have the police report?” 

Jake blinked at you, “Huh?” 

You crossed your arms, “The police report. Can I have it?” 

Jake let out another yawn, “It’s at the school, in the office.” 

Of course, it was. And the campus is closed and if you get caught sneaking in just to get a piece of paper…You sigh, “Thanks anyway,” you softly say, and turn around to walk down the stairs but stop, “Can I talk to Sunghoon?”

Jake scoffs, leaning against the doorframe, “It’s almost two am,” he repeats, “Why are you out here so late? There’s a literal killer running around here.” 

You knew that. And still took that risk to come out here. The killer had to be a student at your college. Every murder had been college kids. It had to be another student. That’s what made being out here so dangerous. 

“I know,” you shrugged, “But I can’t stand by and do nothing.” 

Jake frowned, “You know you’re allowed to actually be a college student right? Live a normal life too?” you shrugged again, and he just scoffed again, “YN, go home and rest. Let the detectives with actual badges handle it. We can only do so much.” 

You narrow your eyes at him, “Let me speak to Sunghoon.” 

Jake stands his ground, “No. Go. Home. Before you get yourself killed.” 

You roll your eyes, “See you tomorrow then.” 

Jake mimicked your words and watched as you walked down the steps before walking back inside and going back to sleep. 

You didn’t understand why Jake was so against you speaking to Sunghoon. Maybe he was being protective? Sunghoon didn’t look the best after finding the bodies. He was probably so shaken up. But it only made you want to speak to him more. And that need only grew more when you noticed Sunghoon’s car wasn’t in its normal parking spot beside Jake’s. 

Meaning he wasn’t home. 

You’ve respected Jake’s wishes on not to talk to Sunghoon, but this matter was getting serious and Sunghoon just might be the big break you needed. So you quickly walked off the apartment complex, glancing back to make sure Jake was outside, and pulled your phone from your pocket as you kept walking and dialed a number. 

“Hello?” 

“Sunghoon, where are you right now?” 

—

You found him atop the bleachers of the soccer field just like he said he would be. A soccer ball sat between his feet, grass scuff marks were at the ends of his jeans, and sleeves of his hoodie rolled up to his elbows and sweat dripped down the side of his face. It didn’t take a genius to figure out he came here to kick the ball around. Probably as a distraction. 

You sat down beside him, “How are you holding up?” 

Sunghoon scoffs, “Holding up as in a week ago I found two dead bodies in the middle of the library or holding up because I’ve been questioned left and right by everyone or my best friend/roommate has smothered me to stay home and take time.” 

You felt bad for him, mostly for what you’re about to ask him. He wanted to obviously forget what he saw, who could blame him? It takes special people to see a dead body and not be fazed by it. 

“I’m sorry for asking you to do this again…” 

Sunghoon just shrugs, “If I am being honest, I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while now.” 

You raised your brow, “Yeah?” 

He nodded, “Jake was against it,” he took a deep breath, “Something was off that day…with him.” 

“What do you mean?” You placed a hand on his knee, “You can tell me anything. Start with the beginning.” 

Sunghoon looked you in your eyes, then looked off into the distance at the field, “He told me that morning he was meeting our coach, for a one-on-one coaching session. At first, I didn’t think anything about it, being he was a soccer prodigy or whatever.” You nodded, remembering how much of the soccer star Jake was back in high school, “So you could probably understand my surprise when I got a call from our coach saying he tried to get ahold of Jake and then he confirmed with me that they did in fact not have a meeting that day.” 

You sat back against the bleacher seat behind you, staring off onto the field, letting the gears in your brain slowly turn, waiting for Sunghoon to continue. 

“I got scared, rushing out of the apartment and searching everywhere for him. Scared and thinking I was going to find my best friend murdered somewhere, ya know?” You understood, with this killer on the loose everyone was watching their backs and afraid. Who would be next? Who is next? “But I found him, lingering around the library building, digging through his soccer duffle bag. My heart almost stopped when I saw him…alive,” he took a deep breath, “So I confronted him, and he played it off that he did have a practice, but was with his coach from high school.” 

You looked back at him, to read his face. Seeing how pale his skin was becoming, “I believed him at first, thinking maybe I misheard that morning. So we started walking back, but he kept digging through the duffle bag, looking frantic. He wasn’t acting himself. Said something about needing to go to the library, about finding a book or something, and then took off. But I followed after him. I didn’t want to leave him alone, not with ghost face running around. But when I got to the library, I…couldn’t find him. I saw him go through the back door instead of the front. But once I walked in and noticed all the doors were already unlocked…then I found the bodies.” 

You squeezed his knee, “It’s okay.” 

He nodded, swallowing and looking down at the soccer ball, “I smelt the blood first and then noticed their bodies. And then…then there were footsteps behind me and I knew that I was next. But the library walked in through the front entrance and started screaming, her eyes darting to me, saying we did it. I turned around to see Jake standing behind me. His skin was pale and sweaty. Eyes wide as he stared back at me and then at the bodies and the librarian. He’s never been surprised to see the bodies. He’s been working with you for over half a year. So when I saw the look on his face…the surprise that was there.” 

You opened your mouth to speak, but Sunghoon kept going, “The weirdest thing is his duffle bag was missing from his shoulder,” Sunghoon scoffs, “How did it just disappear.” It was a good question. A very good one. “He hasn’t been the same since then.” 

You tried to lighten the mood, “Maybe you knocked something loose in his head when the two of you wrestled the other day.” Sunghoon gave you a confused look, “You know? He said you two got too close to your TV stand and he got scuffed up by the edge of it. Making a scratch on his neck,” you pointed to the right side, tracing a finger down the side of your neck to mimic where Jake has his slowly fading scar now, “It’s right here.” 

Sunghoon raised a brow, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We haven’t wrestled inside the apartment.” Your smile faded. Sunghoon’s phone started vibrating and he pulled it from his pocket, seeing Jake’s caller ID on the screen, “Guess he noticed I wasn’t home.” Sunghoon locked his phone, ignoring the call, “I haven’t been telling him when I’ve left the apartment. So I better prepare myself with a talk when I get back.” He stood up and started walking down the bleachers, “Thank you for listening to me, I don’t want to suspect my best friend, and it probably isn’t even him. He’s just weird, I guess.” 

You watched as he disappeared before standing up and finally finding yourself back at your dorm and in bed. Replaying Sunghoon’s story over and over, trying to piece it all together. It still didn’t make sense. None of it did. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop you from texting Jake, asking him to meet you at your dorm as soon as he could tomorrow, and him responding he had soccer practice but would be here right after. 

—

“You should really keep your front door locked, YN, there’s a killer out there.” Jake teased you as he made himself at home, dropping his duffle bag into a chair at your kitchen table, his eyes going to the corkboard, “Make any progress yet?” 

You stared down at the duffle bag quickly before looking up at him, then back to the board, “No I haven’t. I left my door unlocked on purpose. Knew you’d be coming here.” 

Jake smiled at you and stood beside you at the back of your couch, looking at the board, “We’ll catch him, don’t worry honey.” 

You glanced at him slightly, your heart winced at the nickname he’d given you. You looked to his neck, seeing the scratch still healing but faded, being nothing more than a pink line. 

Jake looked down at you, giving a smile, “Can I freshen up in your bathroom? I bet I don’t smell the greatest from practice.” 

You scrunch your nose, “Yes, please. You smell.” 

Jake just rolls his eyes playfully and slides his hand up and down your back quickly before leaving your side, “I’m stealing your deodorant.” 

You waited until you saw him turn the corner and heard the bathroom door close and lock before slowly walking to his duffle bag. 

You didn’t want to suspect Jake anymore than Sunghoon did. But his story last night didn’t add up. No part of it did. Jake’s actions didn’t add up. Jake’s story he gave you didn’t match Sunghoon’s or the librarian's. None of the pieces were adding up no matter how much you tried to force the pieces together. 

You looked down the hallway, then back at the bag, and slowly unzipped it, your hand flying to your mouth quickly to stop any noise from coming out. You took a couple of deep breaths and continued looking into the bag. 

The police report you asked for along with the glove from the scene of the crime was in the bag in a ziplock bag. Along with the other matching glove and the ghost face mask and the black suit. You pulled the mask out of the bag with shaky hands. Why did Jake have these items? You knew. You knew why and still tried to find another explanation. But after seeing the contents of his bag…the pieces of the puzzle fit. Everything clicked and made sense. 

“Don’t you know it’s rude to go through people’s things, honey?” before you could move, a knife was pressed to your neck and his other arm was wrapped around your waist, “I expected better from you than to snoop around.” 

Jake’s hot breath was hitting your ear, sending chills down your spine. Any doubts you had were not out the window. Jake is ghost face. Jake is the killer. 

“Keeping secrets is very rude too,” you retorted back, dropping the mask back into his bag, “But I figured you already knew that I found out, hint why you leave your bag so easily for me to look through.” 

Jake chuckles, squeezing his arm around you and pressing the knife further against your skin, “Can’t get anything past you, can I?” 

“Why?” you asked, tilting your head at the movement of his brushing the side of his face to yours. 

“Why did I do it?” he nuzzled his nose on the shell of your ear, “You’ll need to be specific, honey.” 

You swallowed, “Everything.” 

Jake chuckles again, “Because it’s fun.” It was such a simple yet spine-chilling answer, “You think I played this fucking good boy persona because I actually wanted to? No, no. I had to play that persona. To hide my secret. This is all a game to me, YN.” 

“It’s why you joined our club,” you swallowed again, “To make it harder for us to figure you out.” 

Jake shrugs, gently biting at the shell of your ear then rubbing his nose against it again, “I thought it would add to the fun, honestly. Yeah having an inside made it so much easier. It covered my tracks well. Until you started picking up on every. Fucking. Thing.” he hissed, tightening his grip, “You made it harder to cover up my tracks. Picking apart every smallest thing with each murder. I was lucky you didn’t suspect me, that was until you started poking your nose more into my business, you don’t think I didn’t know you tore the office apart looking for the police report before coming to my apartment? That you talked to Sunghoon even after I told you not to?” 

“You have our phones and the office bugged,” this should surprise you, but it doesn’t. It made sense. 

He pressed his lips to your ear, “Smart girl. Think I wouldn’t bug your phone? Or my best friends?” 

“Jake, you were going to kill him, weren’t you.” 

Another low chuckle, “Yes,” your body stilled, feeling cold, “It would have been a pity, really, to kill off my best friend all because he also stuck his nose where he shouldn’t have.” 

You looked down at his bag, seeing the bag gloved, “You went back to the library for the glove, you fucked up.” 

He growled in your ear, “Shut up! That bitch fought me instead of taking it. I didn’t even realize my glove was gone until after I murdered them both and fled the scene. That’s when Sunghoon showed up. I knew I had to go back and find where the fuck my glove went before someone else did. I didn’t know he was following me until I went to go back and check the bodies after tearing apart the other side of the library and saw him standing there. I quietly set my bag in one of the reading rooms and locked the door, slipping my knife into the back of my jeans. Preparing myself to kill my best friend.”

“All to keep your fucking secret,” you snapped at him, his hands on your body getting tighter.

“Watch it, honey,” he hissed, “You do have a knife to your throat right now.” 

“She fought you right? Probably knocked off your mask too. She saw your face, and you acted quickly and sliced her throat. Not before he left her own scratch on your neck.” 

Jake nodded, a wide smile on his face, “Nothing gets past you. You’d make a great detective someday, honey.” 

You needed to turn him in. Needed to get out of here and turn him in before he could kill anyone else. Fifteen. He’s murdered fifteen people. Probably more before he took up the ghost face mantle.

Jake pressed his chest to your back, “You know,” he whispers, “I’ve dreamed about doing this with you, my knife to your throat,” he rocked his hips against your ass, “It’s so fucking hot.” 

It was now or never. You tilted your head to the side, taking the skin of his forearm between your teeth and biting hard. 

“Fuck!” he shouted, his hand flexing and dropping the knife to the floor and his grip on you loosening. 

You pushed him back with your back and sent him falling to his ass. You barely made it two steps away from him before both of his hands were on your ankles, tripping you to the floor and pulling you towards him. 

You kicked your legs but not getting out of his strong grip. Jake worked fast to flip you over onto your back, his hands now at your wrists and holding them up and above your hand, pinning them to the floor. He straddled you, locking his legs around yours to keep you from wiggling them. 

“Stop fighting me!” he growled, using all his weight to pin you to the floor. 

You stopped, chest rising and falling as you stared up at his beautiful killing face. 

He held your wrists down with one hand and reached for his knife with the other, chuckling as he once again held the knife to your throat, “You look so pretty like this baby, all underneath me like this.” 

Jake was so turned on by this. He’s only dreamed of having you pinned underneath him with his favorite weapon against your skin. Dreamed what you’d sound and look like. This passed his expectations. It went even further than that. His cock twitched in his pants seeing the look of anger all over your face. 

“You get horny every time you kill someone?” you spat out at him, the fire in your eyes burning. 

Jake cocked his head, “You’re not afraid of me?” 

“Why would I be afraid of a horn dog who likes killing people?” 

Jake laughs, adjusting his legs from yours, using his knees to spread your legs apart, sliding himself between them, “Baby, you’re the only one I’ve ever got horny over. The others were just killings to kill. But you? You do something to me.” 

From the moment Jake first saw you on campus he wanted to be buried balls deep in your cunt. Wanted to fuck you so hard as he softly made cuts on your arms to watch you bleed as your moans of pain and pleasure filled his ear holes. Wanted to cum so deep within you and make you his. 

He had more than just joined the club to hide his killings as his reason. He wanted to get closer to you, get to know you. Then kill you after he got his dick wet. But what he didn’t expect was you figuring him out so soon. His plans got pushed up. He wanted you afraid of him as he killed you. He didn’t expect you to look at him with fury, so unafraid. 

Jake leaned down, being inches away from your face, the knife pressing harder against your neck, “You get me so hard,” he rocked his hips between you, his hard cock rubbing against your clothed cunt. You tried to not whimper, to keep your firm face, but the effect he was having on you down south was obvious. He wasn’t stupid, you knew that. 

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t been crushing on Jake since he walked into the club for the first time. How couldn’t you? He was perfect. Still was as he sat atop you with a knife to your neck. 

You relaxed your body, “If you’re going to kill me, then do it.” 

Jake smiled, “Want me to?” He released your hands from his grip and slid the knife from your neck and down to your shirt, his free hand looping his fingers at the collar, using the knife to cut a line, tearing the fabric and exposing your laced bra and skin. Jake tucked his lip between his teeth. Fuck you looked so much better than what you did in his dreams. So much better than he imagined. He slid the tip of the knife down your chest, rounding it around your breast and down your sternum, “Where should I start?” He placed both hands at the sides of your head and bent down, lips brushing against yours, “Tell me, baby.” 

You lifted your head, connecting your lips to his. Taking in the taste of his cherry chapstick and the softness of his lips. He rocked his hips against yours, moaning into your mouth, “Start by taking the rest of my clothes off.” 

He laughs against your lips and then pulls away, setting the knife down at your side to pull his famous white tee shirt off his body, “Yeah?” you nodded, eyes darting to his bare chest and abs, “So fucking dirty,” he cooed, “Should have known you were into killers.” 

You sat up on your elbows, ready to reach for the button of his jeans, but found the knife back in his hand and the tip pointing at your chest, “Lay back down, baby, no need to be so impatient.” 

His free hand touched your shoulder and gently pressed you back to the floor. You kept your eyes on him as he unbuttoned his jeans, the knife still in hand as he wiggled out of his jeans and boxers, leaving him bare to you. 

You watched as he took his length between his fingers, slowly pumping himself, him biting his lips. You were growing too impatient. Needing to feel him against you, in you, “Jake,” 

“Shhh, honey,” he whispers, dropping his hands to your shorts, “I know.” 

The cool metal of the knife brushed your skin as he pulled your shorts and panties down your thighs. Goosebumps formed on your skin and making Jake chuckle, enjoying this more than he’d thought, “You love the way my knife feels against you?” He tossed your clothing somewhere off into the void of the room, settling himself back between your legs, his top prodding your entrance, “love the way it feels to glide against your skin?” He sent the knife sliding up your tummy, his hips pushing his cock in your pussy, slowly stretching you. 

Jake bottomed out, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. He hissed out in pure pleasure of finally being buried so deep inside you, the pleasure of how fucking good you felt wrapped around him, “fuck baby,” he smiles, sliding the knife to your waist, wanting to cut open your skin and see how pretty your blood would look pooling out, “feel so good and I’m not even moving.” 

You bucked your hips up against him, wanting to feel any kind of friction. Jake drops the knife to the floor, his hands pinning your arms above your head again, “I told you to stop being so impatient.” 

“Jae, please,” you begged, wrapping your legs around his waist, “I need you.” 

Hearing you beg for him had him gone and all he cared about now was fucking you. To make you feel so good until you’re cumming around his dick. 

Jake started out slow, burying his face in your neck, “Why aren’t you afraid, hmm? I could kill you right now.” 

You leaned into him, squeezing your legs tighter on him to push him even further into you, “Because I have secrets of my own.” 

Jake chuckled, bucking his hips harder and faster into yours, his lips pressing to yours. Tongue sliding down your throat and exploring your mouth. One hand leaving yours to cup your breast, his thumb and index finger pinching your nipple, “Tell me your secrets.” 

“You already seem to know them all, stalker,” you hissed, throwing your head back against the floor at him pinching your nipple harder in the same movement of him pushing his dick hard against your cervix, pressing so hard to break whatever barrier that was stopping him from completely filling you whole as his hip bones knocked against yours. 

“Tell me anyway,” he whispers between kisses, now sliding his mouth down to your ear, licking the shell of it, “I don’t know what you haven’t texted or physically talked about.” 

“I have feelings for you,” you felt insane saying it out loud. Felt crazy that you even admitted it to him. To the person who was fucking you into pure bliss. To a murderer, “I’m obsessed with you, Jake.” 

Jake bit down into your neck, both of his hands sliding underneath you to wrap at your shoulders, fucking his hips against you faster. His teeth sank into your skin tearing it slightly, a small sprinkle of blood escaping. 

“Fuckkkk,” he moans, tasting the brassy liquid on his tongue, “Even your blood tastes good.” 

He was fucking crazy. You knew he was. But everything about him drew you to him. Made you want him more. 

And him hearing how obsessed you were with him made him even crazier about you. 

“Such a good girl,” he cooed, “Letting me fuck you like this, looking for pretty for me this way.” He bucked his hips faster, adjusting his legs on the floor to spread yours even wider, giving him more access to hit your weak spots and to hit them just right. 

You pulled at his hair, “Jake!” you moaned out his name, the knot in your stomach threatening to snap, “I’m going…fuck…I’m going to cum.” 

“Please,” he groaned, “Cum for me baby,” he sticks his tongue out, flattening it against the bite he left on your shoulder, licking up the new blood that pooled out, “fucking cum around my cock for me, honey.” 

A few more thrusts and you came around him. Tingles spread throughout your body at the feeling of your release. Jake moans at feeling the mess you’ve made on his cock, him working his dick faster in your cunt to chase out the release he wants. The one he’s dreamed about having with you. His hand only did so much for him with his thoughts while back at his apartment. But now he was balls deep in your sweet pussy, having you right where he wanted you. 

“Gonna cum soon,” he panted, hands squeezing your shoulders, “fuck I want to cum in this cunt so bad.”

You pulled at his hair harder, the overstimulation hitting you hard, “Jae, I can’t—“

“I know, baby,” he pressed his forehead against yours, his brows furrowing and eyes shut tightly, “Going to fill this pussy to the brim, understand? This pussy is mine.” 

Jake pressed a kiss to your lips and lifted up, taking your legs and pressing them to your chest, pistoning into you faster but sloppy, “Shit,” he hissed, “Fixing to cum—fuck—I’m cumming, honey, I’m cum—“ one final thrust, and his white ropes spilled into you. He pressed his hips against you and held them there, making sure every last drop of his cum made it deep within, none to be wasted. 

“Fuck,” he cursed, slowly lifting himself back up and dropping your legs back to the floor, “Sex with you was so much better than in my head. I only dreamt how good this puss would feel. How good it’d feel to cum in you.” 

Jake was definitely more obsessed with you than you were with him. And he honestly didn’t care how obvious it was. 

“Fuck I am in love with you.” he chuckles, his hands rubbing up and down your thighs. 

You tilted your head to the side, seeing the knife sitting there idle. Jake clocked where your eyes landed, but he wasn’t fast enough as you quickly grabbed it, being the one who now held the knife to his throat, the fire in your eyes back. 

Jake might have just came, but his dick twitched and hardened again between the walls of your fuck hole. His crazy smile is so wide and his eyes so lustful. Seeing you so ready to end him right here and now made him crazier. Made him crave you even more. 

He wouldn’t kill you now. No, no. How could he kill the love of his life? How could he slide that knife into your skin and cut you open? You were precious to him, more than what he thought before. Maybe the sex drew him in, but you weren’t getting away from him that easily. 

“Awe, babe,” he cooed, taking your wrist in his hand and slowly removing the knife from your hand, “This is how this will go now,” he tossed the knife across the room and out of reach, pinning your arms back to the floor, slowly rocking his hips, “You will keep your fucking mouth shut, got it? Close this ghost face case and if anyone asks you don’t know anything about it. Give it up. All for me, okay baby?” 

You nodded, not being able to say no to those brown eyes. It was toxic, whatever relationship you just found yourself in. You became that girl in books and movies who fell for the killer. It surprises you at how fast you were willing to drop everything for him. To keep his secret. 

He kisses you gently and fucked you on the floor until you both came again and again and again. 

What did you get yourself into?

smut warnings. public hand job/fingering, unprotected sex, rough sex, drunk sex(consensual, but it gets a bit painful), multiple orgasms, degradation, oral, choking, face-fucking, cream pie, thigh riding, finger sucking, etc etc

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Sunghoon.

There’s no way to explain the way Sunghoon treats you justifiably. He’s cold, hot, lukewarm, makes blood rush to parts you wish he had no prowess over. 

He’s someone you would have dreamt about in your younger years. The most popular, best looking, top of the class, everyone’s crush to write about in their diary after school. What he wore that day, how his cologne smelled, the millisecond of eye contact you thought he made with you. He really shouldn’t even be sitting across from you right now sporting a diabolic scowl, really showing off how pink the ring on your middle finger left his cheek after smacking him across the face to get out of your room. 

He’s everyone’s dream, an angel, the perfect prince charming, and he’s your hell. Slightly smirking at you the longer you continue to glare at him and dig the tip of your butter knife into the dining room table, as if to tempt you to try it. Chuck it at his gorgeous face, slice his cheek open with your pathetic excuse for a weapon. 

He’s the nightmare that snatches you up when you’re most vulnerable, the nightmare that lulls you to fall asleep earlier just to experience sooner. The darkest of dreams that make your heart race, gasping for breath when you shoot awake lost in a spiral of confusion. And yet he can be found in your most safest comforting spaces, infiltrating every area of your life.

“Heeseung, nice of you to join us.” Mr. Park exclaims surprised, eyebrows raised up further wrinkling his otherwise smooth features. “Haven’t had a family dinner at home like this in ages.”

“Yeah, Hee, what brings you out of your gloom and doom bat cave tonight?” Sunghoon asks, a snarky pitch to his tone with his gaze unwavering from yours even as his brother chooses the seat next to you. 

Heeseung shrugs, reaching beneath the table to find your hand and tangle his fingers between yours. “Hungry.” 

“Well, that’s great. Look at us!” Mr. Park beams happily, reaching for your mother’s hand atop the table to do the same. It’s daunting to watch unfold, instinctively squeezing around the thicker digits wrapped with yours. “One big happy family.”

Sunghoon snorts, playing it off with a cough and reaching for a glass of water while pretending to choke. “Went down the wrong pipe, excuse me.”

Heeseung’s thumb brushes over your hand, sensing the tenseness in your grip as you squeeze again. “Everything okay?” He whispers, leaning closer to nudge your shoulder with his.

So soft spoken, so delicate with you as if you’d shatter from a touch too harsh. He’s imperfect in ways that make him flawless, from haphazardly placed messy tendrils that fall before his eyes, to the genuine happy dorky smile he shows only for you. He’s safety, warmth, the blanket you cuddle deeper into that takes away all of your worries even if only for a moment.

The worry of what you’ve gotten yourself into has really built up, stuck between two opposites that seek the same endgame. There’s a way the older handles you, treats you like a fine piece of art that should be hung up and admired, can really only be described as heaven.

Heeseung, he’s your heaven. He’s your dream.

And yet you’ve grown attached to the nightmares that steal your precious sleep. The danger and fear of something so physically perfect ruining every wall you put up until you’re nothing but his.

You nod at him, reassuring him that you’re fine with a small smile.

He’s really perfect for you. He’s comfortable, adorable when his cheeks bunch up and he blinks at you slowly as a form of communication that only the two of you can understand. 

Well. Sunghoon understands too, making a disgusted face as he rolls his eyes and leans back to stretch his legs out under the table. “Dad, actually, I’m glad we’re all here. You see, I wanted to bring this up before we wrap up the semester next week.”

“What’s going on son?” Mr. Park turns to face him, missing the startled bounce you make as sock covered toes glide up your calf. 

“It’s been so long since we’ve had a proper family vacation, actually.. I don’t think the one we took to Florida should count.” He jokes, motioning toward Heeseung. “Right bro? We barely got to enjoy the water park.”

“It was Disney.” The older mutters, pursing his lips. Clearly not interested in rehashing the surprise trip their parents took them on to announce their split before dragging them off to different hotel rooms and leaving on separate flights. 

Mr. Park clears his throat uncomfortably, tapping on the dining table. “Now son.”

“I was thinking!” Sunghoon grins, running his foot higher to dig between your locked knees. “With all of us now, we should really use this opportune moment to make memories. Next year I’ll be slammed with studies and my internship, Heeseung will be.. moving out, hopefully.” He mumbles, subtly shifting his sharp gaze back to you, patting your knee with the ball of his foot. “And you’ve always dreamt of visiting Europe.”

“That is true.” Your mother speaks up, sighing dreamily. “Italy and Paris are so beautiful this time of the year my love.” 

She’s not speaking to you, tightening her grip on Mr. Park’s hand as she leans in to whisper by his ear for all of you to hear. “A second honeymoon?”

“Hmm,” he grins, pleased by the thought. “Ah yes.. mon chéri. You’d look delectable in front of the Eiffel Tower.”

“Sick.” Sunghoon says under his breath, motioning toward you and Heeseung. “All of us, you too big bro. I mean— look at how close they’ve already gotten, isn’t that Heeseung’s sweater?”

The thumb caressing your hand slowly pauses, shifty eyes catching your mother’s attention turn back to you. “Huh? All that money I spent on your nice clothes and here you are stealing your step-brother's hoodies?”

“Uhh..”  Sunghoon manages to shove his foot between your legs while you scramble to explain, saved by Heeseung pointing at himself.

“You know what, I must have mixed my laundry in with the wrong pile again. I’m always doing that, my bad.” 

“Well sweetie, that’s fine around the house.” She says with a forced smile, reaching to pinch the fabric on your arm. “But don’t start wearing this outside, will give your potential suitors the wrong impression.”

“Wouldn’t want that, would you?” Sunghoon interrupts, fighting against your hand pushing at his foot. 

“Right, noted.”

“It’s settled!” Mr. Park chimes, unaware of the tense atmosphere that his little brat of a son has created. “Just booked our flights, we’ll do a few days in Italy and then get the train to Paris.”

“Fabulous!” Your mom shrieks, forgetting about the oversized hoodie you have on as she leaps into her husband’s arms and plants kisses up and down his cheek.

“Wonderful.” Sunghoon says, clasping his hands together. “A summer vacation all together, like one big happy family.” He nods at you and Heeseung, shoving his foot away abruptly and making sure to knock your hands apart. “Can’t wait.”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Traveling expands your mind, it helps you to learn about yourself and to grow as a person. Exploring new countries is a once in a lifetime experience that you’ll recall for years to come.

But traveling is also a pain in the ass, especially given the predicament you’ve landed yourself in.

“This is ridiculous.” You mumble under your breath half-asleep, curled up in the backseat of an XL Uber at the crack of dawn. 

“Aren’t you kids so excited?!” Your mom turns with a huge smile plastered on her face, clutching at the leather seat to get a good look at you squished against the door. “Boys! Make some room for your sister!”

The three different sounds of disgusted groans mesh into each other as Heeseung and Sunghoon adjust by pressing their thighs together, both coming in and out of sleep.

“I always dreamed of vacationing with a big family like this.” She continues, much too energetic for 4 in the morning.

“Yes honey, it’ll be a real treat for us.” Your step-father says uninterested, reaching to pat her thigh. “Don’t forget to tell them the best part.”

“Oh right!” She pipes up, turning back around to search through her purse. “Your father wanted to make this really special, especially after our discussion over dinner.”

Sunghoon straightens up, leaning over to catch a glimpse of the three plane tickets she pulls out and waves between the seats. “Your father was gracious enough to hook you guys up with business class! The seats are a lot more spacious!”

“Oh wow,” Sunghoon chimes, attempting to snatch them only for your mother to smack his hand away. “Business class for all of us? That must’ve cost you a pretty penny dad.”

“Not all of us.” His father corrects, turning slightly to lower his prescription glasses down the bridge of his nose in a snobbish manner. “We will be in first class.”

Sunghoon’s jaw drops, jerking forward as the driver rushes into a spot at the terminal drop-off. “What?! That’s not fair!”

“Do you have a job?” He says quickly with a sharp tongue, smirking and exiting the vehicle with nothing left to say.

“What about us?! Your kids?? There’s still time to upgrade our seats!” Sunghoon chases after him, luggage dragging behind as you follow suit to check your bags.

“I got it.” Heeseung says, throat still dry and gravelly having just rolled out of bed and fallen back to sleep against your shoulder. 

“Ah, my bags are really heavy Hee.”

“I can handle it.” He reassures through gritted teeth, the wind knocked out of his chest as he hoists your luggage onto the scale. “You pack a dead body?”

“Not yet.” You wink. “Who knows, by the end of this trip Sunghoon might be chopped into little pieces inside of my carryon.”

“I’m sorry about this, you know.” Heeseung’s arm lifts to wrap around your shoulder, pausing midair hesitantly as you both follow your parents and Sunghoon continues to bargain with your step-dad into the security line. “Genuinely feel so bad that we’re all here accompanying you on your dream vacation.”

“Could be worse I guess, could’ve just been me and Sunghoon.” Nudging into his side, you ease into the space under his arm with a smile. “At least you are here too.”

“Ah, I don’t know about that..” Heeseung plays with his messy hair, a nervous habit, biting down on his lip. “I haven’t flown in such a long time. Not since I was a kid and would fly to stay with my Grandma during summer. Never done an international flight either..”

“Are you nervous?”

“Kind of..” he hates to admit it, looking away shyly as you step out of your shoes to walk through the body scanners.

“Don’t be nervous.” Smoothly, you bump into him as you attempt to hop back into your shoes, face meeting his chest. “I’ll take care of you.”

Heeseung’s cheeks redden instantaneously, followed by the high pitched tone of your mother’s voice squealing and cooing over your ‘sibling relationship’.  The blush rises further, making way to his ears as he ducks to look away under Sunghoon’s furious gaze.

He snatches the tickets from your step-dad, charging toward you to hook his elbow with yours. “Come on sis, I’ll buy you some coffee.”

“Aww, what a doll!” Your mother sings, waving you off before you can begin to protest.

“You can thank me at some point you know.” Sunghoon says snarkily, pulling you closer to his side the further you get from your gate. “You get to experience Europe in luxury now thanks to me, even get a nice early entry to your fancy overpriced seat now.”

“I’ll have to make sure Mr. Park knows how grateful I am then.” You sneer, pushing him away to get in the single file line of exhausted travelers desperate for a taste of caffeine. Sunghoon hums, draping himself over your back to wrap his arms around your waist from behind and lightly press his lips to your ear.

“And how do you plan to show Mr. Park exactly how thankful you are?” His lips lift against the shell of your ear into a smirk, gently kissing before pulling away to order, signaling for you to add yours.

“I can pay for my own.”

“Quit being a brat.”

“It takes one to know one.”

“Is that what you’re into?”

The cashier stares between the two of you, uncomfortable and mouth agape. Sunghoon quickly displays a charming smile and adds a hefty tip along with the payment, gripping your arm to drag you to a corner and continue on where you left off.

“Is that it?” He grins, flattening a palm to the wall above your head to trap you in place. “That whole emo grunge soft boy shit, it’s not just an act huh? What? Heeseung lets you slap him around in bed too or something?”

“He’s your brother.” You snap, shoving at his chest.

“Well what is it?” Sunghoon sinks down onto his knees quickly, sliding large palms down from your waist to your hips. “Want me to act like some pathetic groveling puppy for you?” He blinks up slowly, sucking in his bottom lip only to release the pink flesh with a coat of spit. Frantically you glance around, thankful that everyone seems too caught up in their phones or focused on the baristas working hard behind the back bar.

“I can do that for you too.” He keeps going, pushing his mouth out into a cute pout. “I can be whatever you want me to be. Go on.” Hands on your hips tighten, kneading your curves to encourage you. “Pull on my hair, maybe you’ll like it more than you think.”

His head lowers more, shooting your anxiety higher until his fingers find loose laces and his tongue clicks. “Can’t walk around with your shoes untied.”

“Hoon..” instinctively, you reach to stroke through freshly washed silky black strands, adding a light tug as you reach the crown of his head. Half-lidded lost eyes peer up at you, drawing your digits to ball up and form a fist, pulling with more frustration.

“Harder.” He mutters, successfully tying your shoelaces. 

“Stop it.” You grit, fisting the tendrils trapped between your fingers roughly. “Get up.”

Pretty pink lips part open, tongue dragging across the top row of his teeth with extra time along his sharp canines. “Is that an order?”

“Two Americanos for Sunghoon!”

Breaking into a smile, he jumps up fast and steals a kiss before turning away to grab your drinks. “That’s my name!”

You haven’t even made it onto the plane yet, let alone the next two weeks in different foreign countries.

Fuck.

He smiles at you as if nothing out of the ordinary has just happened, passing your drink to you before turning to grab a wad of napkins. With a swift pointed glare aimed at his back, you rush ahead to get away from him, not wanting to allow him more alone time with you. As long as you stick by your parents' sides and Heeseung’s, he shouldn’t be able to bother you much..

“Everything good?” Heeseung tugs his headphones off to hang on his neck, eyeing the Americano in your grip and your flustered appearance. 

“Yeah.” You swat at the air with your free hand to brush it off. Biting your tongue to hold back a curse under your breath about how God damn annoying his younger brother can be. The evil little shit in question plops down right across from the two of you sipping on his coffee with raised eyebrows and a hint of smile playing at his lips.

“Oh, sorry for not getting you anything bro.” Sunghoon apologizes sarcastically, blinking in a mocking manner. “I know how upset your stomach gets from rollercoasters, gonna be tough for you being up in the air for this long.”

Heeseung smiles tight-lipped, slowly nodding and reaching to pat your knee. “Can I try yours?”

“Of course.”

Without missing a beat he smirks and leans into your hand, tipping the drink to his lips, not even bothering to take it from you, subtly sneaking a look at his brother’s expression falling into a disappointed frown from the corner of his eye. “Yummy.”

Sunghoon’s teeth grind, distracting his mouth with a long sip of his drink, obnoxiously stirring the ice around inside. Silently wishing for his brother to be struggling in the small plane bathroom with a line of angry travelers waiting for him to make the walk of shame back to his seat after blowing up the airplane's toilet. He laughs at the thought, rolling his eyes as you reach to wipe away a droplet of watered down caffeine from Heeseung’s lip with your thumb.

Disgusting.

“Kids, you father and I are boarding now!” Your mom bounces over, clapping excitedly. “We have priority, ciao my darlings! Next time I see you we’ll be in Italy!” Blowing a kiss, she spins back around to join your father in line, handed a glass of champagne before they even step on the plane. Real fancy.

“Can’t believe dad shafted us like this.” Sunghoon groans, eyeing his ticket before leaning over to read yours, lips pouting in thought. “Say, Hee, what’s your seat letter?”

Heeseung hums, lifting his ticket for both of you to see. “C?”

Pouty pink lips lift up, smacking his ticket against his palm as he jumps to stand and nods toward the flashing light announcing for business class to board next. Without another word he moves along ahead of the both of you, standing separately in line as you take a minute longer to grab your carry-on and end up a few behind him in line. 

Heeseung chews on his nails in the meantime, eyes jumping around your gate, patting his pockets with his free hand. “Hee, you’re really nervous, aren’t you?” You ask, concerned by the little jump he makes at the sound of your voice. Immediately dropping his hand from his mouth, he rubs his stomach in an attempt to hide the audible sound that emits, shaking his head quickly with a forced smile.

“A little bit.”

“It’ll be okay baby, I promise.” You have to smile, rubbing his back soothingly as you walk onto the plane, mumbling to yourself about how cute he is.

“Row 23.” Heeseung says, lifting his ticket to read and scan the aisle numbers. “Should be right her—“

Sunghoon sits in the aisle seat, already leaned back with wireless headphones popped inside of his ears and his eyes shut. “Oh, we’re all together..”

“Ugh, well..” you grunt, shoving your bag onto the carrier above your row. “You should take the window, I think it’d help to have a hard surface to rest against if you feel nauseous at any point.”

“Are you sure?” Heeseung asks apprehensively, scratching his nape, feeling guilty. “Didn’t you say something before about loving the window seat..”

“These seats are pretty big.” You nod reassuringly, nudging him to sit down. “Never seen this much leg space before.”

“That’s because this is business class.” Sunghoon mutters, eyes remaining shut with a relaxed expression. “Not even a quality business class at that.”

“I think it’s nice.” You whisper, rolling your eyes as you settle down between your step-brothers. Stuck in the middle once again, the common theme your life seems to insist on following as of late.

“Yes, well.” Sunghoon’s neck twists, scanning your body up and down. “I’ll have to show you the real luxurious way to travel next time.”

Next time.

Glaring at him, you purse your lips and turn to sit on your hip, leaning against Heeseung’s side. “How’re you feeling?”

“Not bad..” he nods, clutching at the armrests at his sides as the plane begins to move. “Shit.”

“Here, you should take some of my melatonin gummies so that you can at least try to sleep.” Digging through your bag, you look up just in time to see his eyes scrunch shut, lips pulled over his clenched teeth to hold down a cry. 

“Shit, this doesn’t feel too great.” Heeseung whispers, dropping his chin just in time for your hand to cup his cheek. 

“Hey hey, it’s okay, you’re safe. You’re with me.” Trying to lift his face up, you bring the gummies to his mouth, nodding for him to take them. “Sleeping through the flight makes it speed by.”

Heeseung nods, swallowing the gummies with a kiss along your fingertips to finish. He sighs frustrated, head knocking back against the headrest. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Biting down on your lip, you pat his cheek and reach for the blanket provided by the plane, unwrapping it quickly to drape over your laps. “I think I know what can help..”

Sunghoon seems fast asleep as you peer over your shoulder to find his head tilted to one side, lips parted releasing shallow breaths. Scooting closer to Heeseung’s side, you lift the armrest between you, sliding a palm up his thigh. Initial surprise has his leg jumping up, eyes going wide in question.

“Shhh.” With a finger pressed to your lips you move closer until there’s zero to no space left between you, sneaking your hand up to his groin beneath the blanket. His lips part with a small sound, pupils large and dark, successfully distracted by your fingers wrapping around the shape of his length over his sweats. “To help you sleep..”

Panic rises up his throat, scanning the area before nodding and giving you the go ahead. He bites down on his lap the second your fingers trace beneath his shirt and play around his navel, circling the area before tickling your way down to the waistband of his sweats. “Be good.” You whisper, pressing your lips to his ear. “Don’t make a sound.”

He could grovel at that, eyes fluttering shut and back open to bump his forehead into yours with a knowing look. Letting you know how evil you are for this and how much he likes it judging from the way his cock twitches under the smooth glide of your palm sliding past his boxers. 

A soft haziness draws his eyelids lower, hooded and heavy as you wrap around his size and pump him to full hardness. To anyone passing by you could simply appear to be cuddling, resting your heads together as a makeshift pillow, warm and cozy sharing a blanket. It’s nothing suspicious you wouldn’t normally see on a flight, but the thrill of it excites the both of you enough. Wrapping tight around his length to pull your fist down to the tip and smear a bead of pre-cum across his slit.

Heeseung hisses, biting down on his lip to contain any further sound of pleasure, gently nodding against your forehead to continue. Clutching your thighs together, you work to twist your wrist, jerking his length up and down with the help of wetness leaking from his tip. 

It’s all hot breaths of air fanning across each other’s lips, the ends of your noses tapping occasionally, eyelashes tickling your cheeks. Drowsiness and arousal written across his face the more you work to stroke his length, expertly squeezing around the head how he likes. 

“Fuck.” He curses, head dropping back to take deep breaths with his eyes shut. The bob in his throat moving up and down at a fast pace much like your hand. The hand job’s mostly dry, just slick enough to coat your palm to rub up and down without going too fast. It’s enough given your current situation to have his ass lifting off the chair, fucking up into your warm tight grip. Grasping the armrest on his right side he nods rapidly, turning to huff over your mouth. “I’m cumming.”

Without worrying about the mess you kiss him softly, noses pressed together as you finish him off and the lightest squeaked out moan sings across your lips. He falls flat to the seat instantly, head rolling from side to side as you cup around his cockhead to catch his release. 

Heeseung’s chest rises and falls quickly, taking in deep breaths with a hint of smile on his face, turning to the side to mouth ‘thank you’ when you draw free and reach for the blanket wrapping to discard the mess in your hand. 

“Sleep.” You mouth back, kissing his cheek before grabbing your purse to clean your hands off with a wet wipe. 

Peaceful eyes blink at you slowly, head resting near the window, blowing you a kiss. “I’ll have sweet dreams thanks to you now.”

Fixing the blanket to cover his upper half, you settle back, squirming in your seat uncomfortably now with wetness stuck between your thighs. The seat of your panties clinging to your core the more you move to adjust. A gasp drops from your lips, jumping up at the arm slinging over your stomach from your left. 

Sunghoon’s head drops to your shoulder, body slouched, hand landing between your thighs. Squeezing your lips, you jerk against him, bumping your shoulder on his cheek that swells up against you. “Ugh.”

Settling back in your seat, you roll your eyes, circling his wrist to at least remove his hand from the awkward position he’s ended up in. Thick fingers cup over your mound as you start to pull him away, lowly grumbling against your shoulder. “Thought you got away with that, didn’t you?”

Snapping your head to look at him, Sunghoon peers up behind thick eyelashes, squeezing your center over your pants. “Did all that for him and he can’t even take care of you?”

“Hoon.” You whisper sternly, nose twitching angrily. “I thought you were asleep.”

“Oh, I was.” He sits up only a bit, dragging his lips up the side of your throat to your earlobe. “But all of that—“

He pants mockingly- hah- ha- ahh-hah against your ear, finishing with a light peck. “You expect me to sleep through all of that noise the two of you were making?” His tongue clicks, glancing at Heeseung fast asleep next to you. “Can’t believe how fucking lazy he is, letting you suffer like this on a long flight?”

“I’m fine.” You grit. “I wanted him to sleep.”

Shaking his head, he releases you to grab his own blanket off his lap to throw over yours with his hand returning, shoving between your clenched thighs. “Well, good news for you, I’ve slept enough.”

“Sunghoon.”

It’s to your detriment how easily you ease up at the sight of his teeth gleaming, forehead resting against yours as he begins to smile. “Say my name again.”

“You’re seriously a piece of work.”

“You’re drawing too much attention.” He snickers, squeezing your inner thigh. “I can’t have you losing sleep over this problem.” Biting down on his lower lip, he positions his chin on your shoulder, gaze low to where his hand moves beneath the blanket. 

“I’m not touching you.” You hiss, thigh jerking.

“You’re so mean to me..” he huffs a laugh, nose brushing along your throat. “First you didn’t even want me here, now you could care less about how exhausted I will feel when we land?”

“Why should I care.”

“Because I care,” he breathes, eyes fluttering open to look at the side of your face. “About you.”

“No you don’t.”

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be doing this.” Thick fingers sneak in past the waistband of your sweats, accommodating easily with the extra space. Good thing you opted for looser bottoms to stay comfortable on this flight..

“You shouldn’t.”

“Then tell me to stop.” He whispers, lips grazing your earlobe. 

The tips of his fingers follow the damp seam between your folds, pushing the cotton material of your underwear deeper. Silence grows louder with your breath, leaning back into your seat as he taps your bundle of nerves, stroking down lower. 

“Tell me to stop.” He repeats, eyebrow raised.

You should. You really need to stop him. Why won’t your mouth work, why can’t you stop.

You swallow instead to coat your quickly drying throat with saliva, shivering as he laughs lightly against your ear. “That’s what I thought.”

His strong digits wrinkle together the seat of your panties, drawing them to one side to free your core for his touch. Soft light airy touches kiss up and down, the tip of his fingers working through the mess of wet slick that’s permeated. “You’re lucky this is a long flight, bet you’ve soaked right through.”

He tucks in closer, gaze lowering back to your lap that jerks up with each motion, forearm moving up and back down as he coats your cunt with arousal from top to bottom. “You got this wet from jerking him off?” He breathes out, teeth clenched. 

He goes on without your response, circling your entrance that pushes out another wave of wet heat, convulsing against his touch. “Wanna be inside your tight hole.” He says huskily against your throat. “Should let me fuck you right now while he’s sleeping.”

Fuck. It’s his fingers dipping inside to the first knuckle that has your eyes rolling back, sucking down a whimper as you turn away only to see Heeseung sleeping cutely, lips pouted, panting short breaths out. Turning away, your nose lands in Sunghoon’s thick head of hair, inhaling a deep breath of his clean freshly shampooed scalp, adding to the dizzy atmosphere surrounding you.

“Should we? You know I can’t make it fast.” Thrusting his fingers in further, he lifts his face to look at you, eyelids heavy. “Should I meet you in the bathroom? Fuck you over the sink.”

“Hoon..” gritting your teeth, you have to bite down on the sides of your tongue to not moan. Three thick digits move in and out of you faster, sending up sounds of wetness past the blanket between your bodies.

“You’re so wet,” he huffs, thumb pressing on your clit, swiveling your nerves in a figure eight. “Wanna be inside you so bad.”

“N-no.”

“Ah,” his tongue clicks, biting back a smile, cheek dimpling. “It’s always no with you, where’s the fun in that?” 

Fearing that you’ll let out a moan, you purse your lips together, the back of your head glued to the seat. 

“We could join the mile high club.” He laughs quietly, pushing his fingers in as deep as they’ll go from this angle. Reaching the ends to find the spongy spot inside of you. “Doesn’t have to be now, we always have the flight back.”

His forearm jerks, heel of his palm smacking against your clit, digits shaking in place. Gripping his wrist, you stare at him pleadingly, chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Wanna cum?” He asks, moving closer to shove his other hand inside. Without skipping a beat he circles your clit, massaging the stiff nub as he continues to assault your insides. “Squeeze that tight pussy around me, wanna suck you clean off you hand.”

Fuck.

That’s all it takes to push you over, nails digging into his forearm hard enough to leave crescent moon pink and red marks behind. A moan sneaks past your lips, masking the sound with a cough, kicking your feet on the floor. 

“What a good girl, listened so well.”

To make matters worse, he brings his glistenings digits to his lips, gaze trained on yours. “Now you can sleep.”

“B-but..”

Sunghoon’s tongue passes between his fingers, leisurely licking at the mess coating his skin. “Don’t worry about me.” He hums softly, sucking his middle finger between his lips. “Not the first time you’ve blue balled me.”

“I can,” you stutter, directing your eyes to his lap. “..do it.”

“Sleep.” Popping his digit free, he grabs the blanket and tucks it around your arms. “I’ll see you when we land.”

The tip of your tongue itches to say more, swallowing down the incessant urge to say anything else. He’s right, this is for the best, you should sleep.. even if it feels peculiar and out of the ordinary. 

Maybe he’s bored? Getting tired of you? Maybe it’s Miyeon..

As if he can hear your rampant thoughts, he turns and plants a kiss on your cheek. “I like being the last to touch you before you sleep, you’ll dream of me now.”

Yeah. He’s definitely not getting over you.

His cocky smile fades away as he lays back and sighs, eyes falling shut. “Now sleep.”

Right. Sleep..

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“That flight was a lot easier thanks to you.” Heeseung says between a yawn, leaning over to kiss your cheek. “Thank you.”

“S’not a problem..” trying to ignore Sunghoon’s presence, you exit the plane together, catching up with your parents who also take time to stretch and rub the sleep from their eyes.

After an hour more at the airport you get inside of another taxi van, once again stuck between the two brothers. 

“Get all that jet lag out of your system, kids.” Mr. Park says, pushing his sunglasses on. “We’ll be at the hotel soon, another hour or so.”

Luckily for you, Sunghoon takes his instruction to heart and immediately succumbs to sleep, setting in how tired you still really are after such a long flight. The rides calm and quiet to the hotel thanks to the time difference. Even as your eyes fall shut you’re mindful to not get too comfortable, keeping your neck up and not resting on Heeseung’s shoulder. Nothing that could raise questions or possible suspicions while in the presence of your parents.

The hotels every bit of five stars you could only ever dream of, greeted by a bellhop who takes your larger bags, led inside to a luxurious lobby fitted with beverages and fruits for guests.

“This is real nice.” You mumble, slowly spinning to admire the art details painted on the ceiling.

“Expected a Holiday Inn, did you?” Sunghoon snorts, adjusting his carry on.

“Alright kids, here’s your keys. Don’t bother us unless it’s an emergency.” Mr. Park laugh’s jokingly, immediately fixing his expression. “I mean it.” 

“Be good.” Your mom adds, wrapping around his bicep. “Time for the honeymoon we deserved darling.”

Heeseung grabs your smaller bags, sleepily nodding toward the elevators. “Least we won’t have to see them with their tongues down each other's throats.”

The ride up to your floor remains silent, the three of you too exhausted after dealing with customs and the long shuttle ride from the airport. You can’t help but feel partially grateful for the lack of awkward tension after what took place on the plane. 

“This is our floor.” Sunghoon announces, removing himself and his belongings first. 

“I’m number 203.” 

“Oh, I am too?” Heeseung slows down, watching as his brother unlocks the door to room 203. 

“It’s a suite..” 

“What’d you think princess? That we’d each be getting our own rooms.” Sunghoon says condescendingly, nodding to one of the doors. “I’ll take that one.”

Heeseung sets down your bags, taking in the large living room leading out to a balcony and spacious kitchen. “It’s not bad, could be much much worse. Which room do you want?” 

Offering him a smile as a silent thank you for letting you choose first, unlike someone else, you pass across to the room near the kitchen instead of the one next to Sunghoon’s. “Oh it’s a little small, no bathroom..”

Heeseung calls you to the other free bedroom, pointing out the connected bathroom. “You should take this one, I don’t mind the smaller one.”

“I’m sure you’ll hardly spend time in there anyway.” You say mischievously, drawing him in to squeeze around his waist. “Can’t complain, only way my first time here could possibly be any better is having you here.”

He nuzzles into your hair, taking in deep breaths, hands caressing your back. “Wish it could be just the two of us..”

There’s a pang of guilt that thrum’s through your chest, burying your cheek against his chest for warmth. Without saying more than a sound of agreement you can’t erase the sensation of Sunghoon’s touch between your legs mere hours ago. 

You shouldn’t feel immense guilt, you’re not technically in a relationship, but you could have stopped him.

You could have said no, could have not indulged him, could have broken his damn wrist..

But you didn’t, and that’s enough to have you cowering further into Heeseung’s hold. “Tired.”

“Me too baby, let’s get some rest.”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“Let’s relax today.” You suggest, stretching out your arms as you approach Heeseung and wrap him in a tight hug. “Flight was so long, and my body clocks all off. Wanna go down by the pool for a bit?”

“A little late for a swim, don't you think?” Mimicking your position, he loops around your waist, sliding his palms down to where your bottom bubbles out. 

“We’re in Italy..” 

He chuckles softly, leaning in to nudge his nose against yours. “Go put on your swimsuit, I’ll be back here in a minute.”

Sunghoon lingers around the kitchen area, pretending to scour through the different hotel provided snack options he can have charged to the room. Pretending to not listen or watch out of the corner of his eye as you stand on your toes to press a kiss to his brother’s cheek and run off to get pool ready. Of course, you won’t invite him, wouldn’t even think of it.

But that’s fine. He grins, picking up an apple from the gifted basket decorated with only premium quality fruits. He huffs a breath, shining the red apples skin on his shirt as he makes way to the balcony with a perfect view of the hotel's pool, and boy, is it perfect. 

Because Sunghoon has a perfect clear shot of the two of you walking in, of the stringy red bikini hugging your curves beautifully, of Heeseung’s hand on your hip as he leads you to an empty cabana. Even if he can’t eavesdrop on your conversation at this distance, it’s good enough to keep an eye on how the two of you interact. Especially if he has anything to do with it, even better because neither of you will have a clue that your little pool date involved a third participant today.

“Hello, I’d like to order a bottle of your best Dom Perignon for my friends. They’re honeymooning and I’d love to surprise them with this gift.” Sunghoon explains to the bartender working the pool's bar, switching his focus to the bald man on the phone jotting everything down.

“That’ll be $290 sir.”

“Charge it to the suite, and throw in some of your best shots while you’re at it, keep them coming.” He instructs, biting down on his lip to contain a laugh. “Tell them it’s a gift from the hotel, something standard for your guests so that they don’t turn it down. Sweet kids, they’re too humble and refuse to accept my gifts.”

“Of course sir, will do.”

“Great.” He hangs up, watching as a waiter carries over a tray, the smile on his face growing as your face morphs to one of shock and Heeseung waves his hands to refuse the offer only for your surprised smile to fall into a pout.

Yes. Perfect.

 “Aww come on Hee, why not?!” You whine, throwing yourself against his side to wrap around his arm. “Pleaseee, we don’t have to drink all of it.”

Heeseung visibly cringes, gaze shifting between you and the waiter. He lets out a long sigh, rubbing at his temples. “I really can’t drink any.”

“Heeseung, when will you ever be on vacation in Italy like this again?” Sitting up, you thank the waiter and motion for him to set down the tray, thanking him for the generous gift. The chilled champagne pours like liquid gold, taking a deep breath as you bring the flute to your nose and raise your eyebrows at him. “And not just in Italy, but with me.”

He laughs, face lifting to one side as he looks away and you crawl closer to him with another flute in hand. “Please? Just for fun, we could both use it after that flight.”

You really could use it after that, shaking off the thought of Sunghoon’s hand sneaking it’s way between your thighs.

“Just one drink.” Heeseung states, reaching for the flute you’ve extended toward him. 

“To our first vacation.” Smiling, you clink your glasses together, practically moaning as you take a sip and your eyes roll back. “Oh, I really needed that.

Eyeing his own drink anxiously, he nods, admiring the way your shoulders instantly relax. It’s been over a year, he’s been good, stayed on track. One sip can’t hurt? It’s just some fancy champagne..

With a deep breath he brings the glass to his lips, sucking down a swig of mind crushing nightmares, demons he’s kept at bay until now. 

One sip can’t hurt, but by the fifth time you’ve filled up his cup Heeseung can’t stop smiling. Can’t stop littering kisses up your chest and neck, can’t stop himself from feeling your body freely without a care, without concern for who could walk by.

“See? This is fun..” you giggle, lightheaded and tipsy by the time you empty the bottle. “This is what I needed.”

“Me? You needed me right?” He asks flirtatiously, nipping at your jaw. “God, you’re so sexy.” 

“Stoppp.” Heat prickles your cheeks as you shove at his chest, reaching to cup his chin and push his lips out into a pout. “You’re so cute when you’re drunk.”

Heeseung blinks slowly, still in touch with his sober mind enough to register what you’ve just said clearly. “Never heard that before..”

“Whattt? I tell you how cute you are all of the time.”

Shaking his head, he circles your wrist and kisses your palm. “Usually everyone hates me when I drink.”

I hate me when I drink.

He sighs, curling up to your side, dragging your knuckles up and down his mouth as he loops your fingers together to hold your hand.

“What’s wrong baby?” You frown, pushing his hair back to gently pet his forehead.

He shrugs, blinking away moisture that’s made its way to his eyes, hot from the buzz building in his stomach. “Nothing right now, nothing’s wrong when I’m with you..”

“Mmm.. there is one thing.” You continue, clouded brain speaking with more confidence and honesty than you would sober. “Your brother, he’s such a pain in the ass.”

Heeseung’s smile returns, nodding and kissing your knuckles. “You’re right, he’s always been that way. Ever since we were kids. Sometimes I blame myself.”

“Why would you blame yourself?” You pause for a second, wanting to add that there’s nothing he could have ever done to encourage such deranged psychopathic behavior. “It’s your dads fault Sunghoon is the way that he is, if anything.”

“He’s definitely a part of it.” He agrees, pressing closer to your side. “Always feel like I could have done more, I should have done more. When our parents separated, that’s the last vacation I ever really went on..”

“I remember, sort of, that being mentioned..”

“I guess because we were so young, mom and dad didn’t think it’d be such a big deal. They promised to take us to Disneyland, only when we got there they checked into separate hotel rooms..” taking a deep breath, he eyes the empty champagne flutes sitting on the tray, now wishing for more to magically appear. “Mom told me we’d be taking a different flight home from dad and Hoonie. I didn’t really understand until we ended up at my grandparents house and stayed there for another year..”

“Fuck, no way, they just split you up like that without an explanation?” You ask, frown dragging down more. 

“I started to understand after a while and.. once I figured it out.” His eyes fall shut, opening up to the same waiter returning with a flight of cocktails and tray of shots. “I started to drink.”

“Oh! Cocktails!?”

“Yes, for the lovely couple.” The waiter grins, setting the tray down. “Enjoy.”

“This is seriously the best hotel ever!” You cheer, too excited to down another drink to notice how much Heeseung’s frown has deepened, screaming at himself to not reach for another drink. “Wow, Hee you have to try this, oh my God this is seriously like drinking candy.”

“Yeah..” he whispers, fingers twitching. “One more can’t hurt.”

“Of course not! We’re on vacation babe, come on.” 

With a more sober mind you wouldn’t have missed his tortured expression. Clear level headed thoughts could have stopped him from downing the next drink, from grabbing another, from slurring that you should order some more.

“Wait,” you hiccup, laughing, moving onto his lap. “We were talking about Disneyland.” You say cutely, tongue growing heavy inside your mouth. “Right?”

Heeseung’s glazed over eyes pan up and down your body, clutching your hips hungrily. “Yea that was,” he laughs, head shaking. “Worst vacation ever, l-last time I really saw Hoonie. Until high school.”

“High school?” Half registering what he’s even saying, you start to roll your hips down against him, bottom softly rutting on his crotch. “Whattt?”

“S’long story.” Droopy eyelids blink at you, tucking his bottom lip in, palms traveling to your butt. 

“Tell meeeee.” You giggle, grabbing onto his shoulders. “That’s suchhh a long time?”

“Yeah it’s uhh— I don’t know. But Hoon, he really hated me. I started dating his crush or some shit.” He grunts, throat turning dry as he tries to focus on your waist curving in with each fluid movement. “I dunno, s-so dumb.”

“Seriously dumb.” You moan, completely lost in your blurred thoughts. The conversation flying over your head. “I think we should get back to the room babe.” You pant, wrapping his arm around your waist tighter. “Getting late.”

“One more drink?” He slurs, a lazy smile lifting one side of his face as he leans in to kiss your upper lip. 

Shaking your head, you cup his cheeks, pressing your lower halves together harder. “I wanna go to the room, now.”

Letting out a sigh, he abruptly pushes you off, moving onto his knees to wave over the waiter. “In a bit.”

Landing against the cushion on your side you glare at him confused, clenching your thighs together as you sit up. “Hee, what the fuck?”

He waves you off, taking another shot, and another, and another..

The few minutes it takes for him to guzzle down the tray clears up your head enough to snap out of your mostly horny partially buzzed daze, grabbing his arm and tugging roughly. “Let’s go, right now.”

“One more.” He mumbles, losing balance when you pull again. 

“Only thing you need to drink for the rest of the night is water.” You grunt annoyed. Struggling to stand up with him, carrying his mostly deadweight against yourself. Christ, how much did he drink? 

The waiter had kept the shots coming, and while you took longer to recover after 1 drink, Heeseung had managed to down 3 faster than you could even straighten your vision. He makes a displeased sound, stumbling with your help toward the elevators.

“You’re sooo pretty,” he sulks, leaning against the wall with your hand pressed to his stomach out of fear that he’ll stumble and hit his head. “You really would look better with him.”

“What?” You mutter distractedly, blinking at the lit up list of floor numbers while trying to find the room key with your free hand in his pocket. “Who?”

“Hoonie.” He sighs, banging the back of his head against the wall with a grimace. “You’re all pretty and jaw dropping. I get why he’s hung up on you.”

Hung up? On you? Instead of contemplating that you successfully get the elevator moving, letting out a deep breath as you turn to face him and cup his warm cheeks. “Do you get why I’m hung up on you?”

He smiles drunkenly, more cute than usual somehow, shifting his face to kiss your fingers. “Are you? Cause—think I’m crazy about you.” He hiccups, eyes falling shut with a smile. “Being here with you makes everything better.”

“Yeah?” He shouldn’t be this cute with enough alcohol on his breath to set off a breathalyzer. But he nods and leans closer, pressing his forehead to yours.

“I’m saying too much, right?” He laughs, cheeks brightening up with pink even more. “Always do this—thisss why I shouldn’t drink.” 

“I dunnoooo..” the elevator dings open, stopping at your floor, wrapping him in your hold to drag down the hall. “I like this Heeseung.”

“Why?” Grabbing onto the door frame when you stop, his neck bends forward to whisper by your mouth. “Why do you like me?”

There’s uncertainty swarming all across his big glossy eyes, scanning your face anxiously. “Why would you like me more than him?”

This is what Heeseung means when he says he shouldn’t drink, because an inebriated brain lacks shame, lacks the fear of being humiliated. The insecurities he hides with sobriety come to light, and much to his displeasure many of them trace back to his younger brother.

“If you come in here and drink a lot of water with me like a good boy, I’ll tell you all of the things you want to hear.” You reassure, pulling him to follow you inside the shared suite. The suite that you wish Sunghoon wouldn’t utilize so much, because of course he’s sitting on the living room couch watching an old Italian black and white film; hardly watching with his peripheral vision focused on the two of you near the entrance.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” Making sure to keep your voice low, you avoid the eyes you can feel taking in every inch of your exposed skin, tripping on your way to Heeseung’s room. 

“Mmmph.. but don’t leave me.” He whines behind you, wrapping around your waist. “Stay with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere lovey.” He seems reluctant to believe you and let go as you try to get him to sit on the bed. Grabbing a hold of his face, you squeeze his cheeks until his lips puff out, completely enamored by the baby talk he keeps slipping in and out of. “I’ll be right back, you really need to drink water. I do too, like, badly.”

“What?” Grabbing for your hips, his eyebrows wrinkle together. “No no.”

“Hey, what did I say?” You retort, pinching his cheeks. “Don’t make this difficult, I’m trying to save you from the fat headache you’ll wake up with tomorrow if you don’t chug some water, alright? I’ll be right outside, won’t take long.” His pout deepens, shoving his lips further out for a kiss.

“Okay.” Content by the light peck you give him, he lets go and slumps back against the bed. Head spinning now that he’s sat down and can’t focus on the ceiling despite blinking many times. “Shit, I really am drunk.”

“Which is exactly why you need to drink water.” You mutter, heading out to the kitchen. Both of you really need to replenish your hydration, you can’t wake up hungover on vacation, it ruins everything. And judging by the way Heeseung can barely walk on his own two feet, he’s destined to wake up with the most bruising headache tomorrow.

“Guessing that you two were partying it up out there.” Sunghoon’s deep voice rumbles from behind you, causing you to jump and grab onto the counter as you reach for two cups. “Here, I’ll get that.”

“No, it’s fine, I’ve got it.” Of course he’s too fast, reaching over your head with both of his hands. One to grip your forearm and the other to grab a cup.

“You’ll drop it.”

“I’m not helpless.” You snap, elbowing his chest that’s pressed much too close to your back.

“I know you aren’t,” stepping back, he gets you another cup. Motioning toward his brother’s bedroom. “Haven’t seen him like that in a couple of years.”

“We’re on vacation.”

“You really shouldn’t let him drink.” He says, backing away to lean against the kitchen island. “He’s an addict, in case he hasn’t mentioned it.”

“I know, not that it’s any of your business.”

Sunghoon makes no effort to hide his sharp gaze dragging down your figure, licking at the top rows of his teeth. “We all have our vices.”

“Even you? The epitome of perfection?” You mock sarcastically, tilting your head. 

The smirk that stretches his face only solidifies how much he likes hearing that. Nodding and leaning back on the counter before raising an eyebrow at you. “Of course I do, care to take a guess?”

“Not really.” You scoff, reaching for water bottles only to be stopped by his arms caging around you, lowering his face near yours.

“I think it’s obvious what I’m addicted to.” He says quietly, eyes half-lidded as he glances down to your bikini-clad chest. “I can’t seem to get enough these days.”

“I think that you should seek help for that problem.”

“Do you?” A well groomed thick eyebrow raises, daring you to stop his hands from moving to your hips. “Because I could really use the help.”

“What’s taking so lon—“ Heeseung mumbles, leaning against the fridge as he rounds the corner from his room and immediately frowns. “What the fuck is this?”

Sunghoon shrugs, squeezing your hips firmly before pushing off. “Nothing man.”

“Doesn’t look like nothing,” he spits, glaring at the younger through bleary glazed eyes. “Why don’t you fuck off?”

“Takes a lot of liquid courage for you to ever speak to me that way.” Sunghoon grumbles, turning away with a wave of his hand. “Not interested in hearing this boozed up bullshit. It was nothing.”

“Hee, it’s okay.” You whisper, wrapping around his waist. “Let’s get back inside the room alright?”

He seems reluctant, digging his feet to the ground weakly continuing to dart lasers at the back of his brother's head. “Fine.” Letting out a tired sigh, he lets you push him back to his room, eyebrows furrowed as he grabs onto your shoulders and looks over your face.

“Was he trying anything?” There's a lack of assurance behind his question. Whether it be due to the alcohol or not, you can’t swallow down your guilt fast enough this time.

“No!” You laugh uncomfortably, scratching at your nape. “You know how he is.” 

“Yeah. That’s the problem. I do know.” Heeseung rights his jaw, lips tight, stepping around you to storm back into the living room. “Hey, little bro.” He calls out, cracking his neck loudly. 

Sunghoon appears at his door, arms crossed over his chest, eyebrows raised in an amused manner. “Hey, big bro.”

The older scoffs, eyes darting around the room, halting at a large clear bottle full of tempting poisonous liquid. “You wanna keep fucking with my girl?”

Distracted by the bottle, he fails to see Sunghoon’s amused expression morph to one of confusion, misses the way his eyes light up when his brother uncaps the bottle of vodka. “Your girl?”

“Did I fucking stutter?” Heeseung spits, taking a swig from the bottle, unbothered by the acidic burn running down his throat.

“Hee, we drank enough..” you intervene, placing a hand over his. “Come on babe, let's get in the shower.”

“S’not why we came back up here.” Ripping his hand away from your touch, he steals another swig, free hand untying one side of your bikini bottoms. “Is it?”

“Heeseung!” Quick reflexes help you catch the strings before they can fall off, staring at him in disbelief. “What the fuck.”

Sunghoon shrugs, moving back to the connected kitchen to lean on the counter again. “Nothing I haven’t seen before, right bro?”

Tension fills the room at lightning speed, gulping the anxiety burning its way up from your chest. 

Heeseung’s nostrils flare, teeth gritting, glowering at the younger as if he could rip his head off. “You’ve seen it all, been inside her, had your way, and she still picked me. Again.”

Again?”

Sunghoon shrugs, cheek dimpling with a small smirk. “Maybe if I played up a weak little groveling bitch act she’d pick me too bro.”

“You fucking—“

“Heeseung!” Wrapping around his waist you sober up quickly, at least enough to regain your strength. The nice drunken bliss you’d felt just minutes ago fading away the longer you stay stuck here between them. “I wanna fuck, right now.”

That seems to do the trick, softening his expression as he looks at you and breaks free from his sudden rage. “Yeah..” checking you out, he slowly blinks remembering that's why you came back up here. You should be back on his lap, sucking on his lips.

“C’mere..” you grin deviously, tugging him to walk back to his room with you. “You can’t leave me like this.”

He stops at the door before you can pull him in, shoving it fully open. “Hey little bro,” he smiles, holding the bottle up to cheers him. “Pay attention, maybe you’ll learn how to satisfy a lady for once. You greedy fuck.”

“Babe, c’mon..” choosing to ignore the way they glare at each other, you reach Heeseung’s bedroom, grabbing the doorknob.

“Leave that open.” He says sternly, kicking the door fully open with his hip.

“What? No, come on.” You argue, try to get him in and shut the door behind him at the same time. He stands tall, lifting the bottle back to his lips, pushing your hand away with his side. 

“I said,” he repeats, making you walk backward toward his bed. “I want it open.”

“But..”

“But what?” There’s enough of a hint of malice in his tone to cut off what you want to say. Chewing on your lip and nervously balancing your weight from side to side. “Come here baby.”

Dragging you to his bed, he sinks down onto the mattress, placing a kiss on the skin around your navel. “S’crazy cause I’m always a little anxious when we fuck..”

“You are?” Genuine confusion passes across your face, could have really fooled you..

“Yeah s’cause I want you so fucking much.” He blinks lazily, licking at your exposed stomach, kissing and nipping between. “I dunno, like what if you’re not into it..”

Since you have fucked his brother, a fact he only wishes he could forget.

“Not into it?” Making him look up at you, you tickle his ear’s between your fingers. 

“I don’t know..” he slurs, hugging your hips and looking out the door. A shadow that can only be his brother’s passing by. “Who’s the best?”

Heeseung’s hold around you tightens up, stroking up and down the backs of your thighs. “Best you’ve had, it’s me, right?”

Continuing to play with his ears, you nod and begin to move down to sit on his lap. Arms looping around his shoulders. “No one’s ever made me cum as hard as you do..”

Ouch. 

Sunghoon better have heard that.

You’d never know how calculated his thoughts are, as if he’s unlocked his alter ego with liquid confidence. Untying the strings on your bikini top, he smirks. “Want you on your knees.”

Holding your bikini against your chest, you nod and crawl down onto the floor in front of him. Shyly glancing up to meet his curious gaze inspecting you. “Show me your pretty tits.” 

Bending in closer he reaches down to cradle your breasts when you finally drop your top, thumbs running across your nipples appraisingly. “Wanna fuck them.” He says, flicking your nipples until they pebble rock hard. The air conditioning unit blowing cold air throughout the room not helping. He twists each of them between his thumb and pointer fingers, humming, testing the weight of them against his palms.

“But really..” squeezing your breast, his other hand drags up your throat, fingers tracing up your chin. “Can’t stop staring at your pretty ass lips.” His thumb pushes on your bottom lip, shoving between. “How good you’d look with my cock down your throat.”

Muscles tense up your thighs, trying to subtly rub them together as heat swelters between and soaks through your bikini bottoms. “Bet you look so cute sucking dick.”

Sunghoon would know.

Pressing your tongue to his thumb, all you can manage to do is nod. The wetness slicking up your bottoms becomes uncomfortable the more he prolongs this and makes you wait. Heeseung thrusts his thumb in and out a few times, smile slowly growing. “Want to?”

“Uh huh..” you couldn’t sound like any bigger of a desperate cock whore right now. Saliva pooling around your tongue in wads as he sits back and pulls his cock free. Fully hard, he wraps around the base and slaps it against his jeans a few times, sliding the pre-cum down his shaft.

The veins along his cock visibly throb, the head flushed an angry red, twitching where he teases and plays with the tip. “Open that mouth up for me baby.”

Nerves ignite the more you drool at the sight before you, reminding yourself that you’ve sucked dick before. One related to Heeseung.. can’t be too different.

Slowly propping your mouth open, your tongue rolls out, hanging over your bottom lip. “So hot.” He hisses, slowly sliding the slit lining the tip against your tongue. He fucks the head in and out of your mouth for a minute, muttering to himself how cute you are. “Think you can fit all of this in there?”

Probing a finger inside your mouth, he pulls on your cheek, popping it open. “Take every inch?” He asks darkly, glaring at your lost expression. “One way to find out.”

Without another word he grabs you by the back of your head, other hand circled around the base of his length. Pulling your head down onto his cock until he hits obstruction and hits the back of your throat. “Fuck baby. You’re a natural.”

The initial shock has you gagging, spit spilling down your chin, shoulders hunching in trying to keep your mouth around him. He doesn’t allow you to move either way, pushing down on the back of your head more until you’re really gagging. Thrusting up against your gag reflex over and over again, really testing out how much you can take.

“Fucking—yeah, that’s so fucking good.” He grunts, pressing your nose against the light trimmed hair surrounding his size. Wet gagging noises fill up the room, Heeseung’s groans and growls drowning them out each time he bottoms out in your mouth. 

He keeps holding you down to an agonizing point, only able to swallow around his cock, spinning his drunken mind over the edge. “Fuck!”

Tugging you off, he slaps the wet shaft on your cheek like a wake up call. Choking and focusing on taking deep breaths when you feel tears flow from your eyes. Peering up light-headed from lack of air. Heeseung smiles, pushing his cock back between your lips. “Make my cock disappear baby.”

He slides back in slowly, excruciatingly slow, really making you swallow down each inch. The smile on his face morphs to a sadistic one when your big watery eyes meet his. He pushes and pushes, standing up with both hands on the back of your head to really fuck your throat. Throwing a leg over your shoulder, he twists your bodies until the back of your neck hits the edge of the bed, using the new position to aim his cock right at your tonsils.

“Such a good fuck hole baby, letting me use you however I want.” 

The pain between your legs reaches a new high, clutching at his jeans and dragging them down. You scream around his length, tears rippling down your face. Heeseung pulls out abruptly, taking a deep breath and laughing. “Almost got me.” Smacking his cock down on your face, he drags the tip along your cheek, mouth, nose, leaving trails of spits and precum all over. “Look at you, so fucking pretty for me.”

Pushing the tip in and out a few more times, he groans, balling a fist in your hair to pull you up. “On the bed.”

Crawling onto all fours, you look over at him, back arching nicely, bikini bottoms still on. He follows you onto the mattress, discarding his shirt and pants before pressing his hips flush to yours. “Where do you want it?”

His hard wet length lodges between your thighs, slowly fucking against your bottoms. Ruching up the material up in his fists, gripping onto your stringy bikini bottom firmly as he builds up a speed. The material wedges up further between your buttcheeks, eyes rolling shut when he lands against your backside extra hard, sending your shoulders to press flat against the bed.

“Come on, speak up.” He grins, smacking your ass. “Tell me where you want to get fucked.”

Anywhere.

At this point, he could do whatever he wants with you. Finding it impossible to fathom up any type of thought as your face presses deeper into the bed. Arousal surges up your spine, another crack ringing out from Heeseung roughly landing another slap across your ass. Dry fucking your bikini bottoms that have completely soaked through, you sink lower against the bed. Lip starting to sting from being bitten raw. The delayed reaction of pain stinging up your backside only registering by the 5th smack.

“Can’t even speak up can you.” A smug smirk stretches his lips, thumb sliding to press your bikini bottom deep between your buttcheeks. “Could fuck you here..”

Squirming away, you shake, legs stretching open more. “N-no..”

He chuckles, untying the strings hanging on for dear life to keep your bottoms up. Balling the material up, he brings it to his nose, stealing a long whiff before throwing them aside. “Smells like your pussy wants me the most..”

“Ah—please.” You swallow, face flushed with heat. “Please put y-your..put it in—my pussy.”

“Put what in?” He says cruelly, dragging his nails down your back to your ass. Cupping and kneading the meaty fleshy. 

“Cock, your c-cock.” You croon, squeezing more tears out. “Please..”

“Want me to fuck your pussy baby?” He teases, swiping three digits between your thighs, collecting a glob of slick to spread around. “So wet.”

Arching deeper as he circles your clit, an embarrassing sound claws its way out of your throat. Eyes clenching shut when he circles your pulsating hole. He drags back to your clit, circling around the nub, back to your hole. Back and forth until you’re a tingling mess, begging for him to fuck you.

“Yesyes!” You breathe raggedly, fisting at the bedding. “H-hurts, please.”

“Pretty little pussy hurts?” His tongue clicks, scissoring two fingers inside. “So tight..” kissing the backs of his teeth, he rolls your clit under his thumb, digits stretching wide inside of you. “After what I just did to your mouth..”

Biting on his lip, he fucks his fingers into you slowly. Curling the tips against your inner walls. Laving at his swollen mouth as he pulls out and smears the wetness across your labia folds. It’s everywhere, all the arousal for him, the desire and hunger your body screams for him.

That’s what he wants to see, slapping the back of your thigh. A needy little please emitting as he cleans off his hand on your ass.

“What was that?” He wants to laugh a little bit meanly, but his cock might damn near burst if he doesn’t get inside of you soon. Too turned on by your lack of shame for him. “Say it again.”

“Please..” you breathe out, letting out a surprised gasp when Heeseung shoves you to fall on your side. Manhandled onto your back, wanting to see your face fall apart when he stuffs you full of his cock. “Please fuck me.”

A door slams shut from behind him, smirking proudly as he hoists your legs open and settles between your thighs. He pauses there, holding himself over you, arms bridged around your body. 

Flicking from his face to his cock, you could scream, breathing in sharply. Chest rising rapidly. “Seungie, please. Please fuck me.”

The sound of your pleading is almost as good as the release to come, savoring it as your begging washes over him. He nods, licking the sweat away from his upper lip, slotting a palm over your hip to hold you in place. 

“Shh shh,” he groans, admiring your hung open jaw. The way you stare up at him with your head thrown back. Grabbing your thigh with his other hand, he presses it down flat to the bed, thrusting the entirety of his cock forward to fill you up in one smooth thrust.

“Yeah,” he mutters cockily, watching every inch disappear inside of you. “That’s what you wanted. Doesn’t that feel good baby?” 

This is what he wanted, to watch you breakdown, lose your mind. The way you are right now, looking at him like he hung the fucking moon, drooling like a wild animal. So brainless, nothing but his.

Heeseung pulls his hips back and snaps them forward aggressively. His patience dissipated the second your warm cunt sucked around his length, instantly milking him. “That’s my good girl.” He picks up the pace even more when you whine in response. Rocking into you hard enough for the headboard to smack against the wall. 

Shivers rattle up and down your spine as he grabs your breasts, hips meticulously snapping forward. The heavy grip on your chest helps him speed up even more until the pace becomes punishing. Pinching roughly at your nipples between harsh breaths. Each thrust hitting his cock so deep, so deep and hard.

“Fuck, take my cock so good.” He moans, hips circling, the tip kissing your cervix. Slapping your tits, he pushes up and reaches for your thighs, pushing them up for the backs of your knees to lay on the crook of his elbows. The vigorous pace he fucks you with snapping enough force to slide your back up the bed, reaching your hands out to push and smack at the headboard. 

“Seungie..” you gasp, neck arching up, completely blissed out. The sound emitting around the room so wet, so nasty and messy. Slick pouring out past his length, trickling down past your ass making a pool of arousal on the bed. “G-gonna cum, Heeseung, I’m gonna—“

The high-pitch tone you moan out his name in makes his stomach bubble, only fucking you into the bed faster when you cry out and ball up your fists. “Yeah? Then fucking cum.”

He doesn’t falter one bit, gaze falling to where your hips connect. Carefully watching the juncture where his cock disappears inside of your cunt. Sucking in a sharp breath, he slaps the sides of your thighs. “Cum.”

“Ahh shit!” You shake through it, gasping for air, clutching at a pillow. Groaning loudly as you tip over the edge and Heeseung continues to fuck you through it, not slowing down at all. Squeezing your eyes shut, you convulse, crying out loudly, cunt clenching tightly around his cock until he has to slow down.

“Fuck.” He grits, using all of his strength to plow through it and grind his cock through the pulsating wet heat of your orgasm. It’s good, so good for both of you. Falling limp and breathless under his weight as he hoists your legs up completely and bends you forward. The mating press stealing the little bit of breath you have left.

“Hee?”

“Did I say we’re fucking done?” He exhales raspily, not allowing you to get away as he locks you into a new position. Fully in control with your legs propped on his shoulders, feet dangling limblessly by his head. 

“H-hurts..” you buzz, body crushed by the white hot sensation of over sensitivity. 

Not letting up, he fucks through the whines emerging from your lips. Pounds away despite your thighs shaking, muscles trembling around him. Keeps slamming in and out to chase his own release. 

“You asked to be fucked.” He says between clenched teeth, punctuating each word with a rough thrust. Erupting tingly warm sensations from your gut to your chest, groaning loudly between your cries. “So you’re getting fucked.”

It’s the overload of dominance and fury that has your next orgasm rushing ahead full force. Borderline uncomfortable as the pleasure rips through you again, hurling you into a hurricane of over sensitivity. The waves of white heat pass through each limb, emptying your lungs free of air. 

Heeseung can only groan through it, balls slapping loudly against your ass. The tips of his fingers digging into your thighs. “Squeezing around me so fucking good when you cum.” He says between short breaths, fucking hard. “Come on, again. You can do better than that.”

That really makes your head explode, wailing and bursting into tears as you snake a hand to your aching clit. It hurts, hurts so fucking good. The way his length relentlessly thrusts inside of you, molding you to only take his cock.

Shuddering through the painful pleasure, you squeeze around your clit. Pinching the bundle of nerves until you jerk, throbbing profusely beneath your fingers. Biting on your bottom lip until a metallic copper spills onto your tongue.

“Fuck.” Heeseung slows down, growling through clenched teeth. Pushing your legs even more until you’re forced to release your clit, feet bouncing by your head. The orgasms more painful than the last, but it’s good enough to slow him down. Squeezing your eyes shut as he buries in deep, breathily groaning. Cock twitching inside you against your convulsing walls.

Pulling out, he lets your legs fall back down, gripping around the base of his cock. “So fucking pretty when you cum like that.” He salivates. Free hand running over your wet stomach, arousal making its way down to the middle of your thighs under each ram of his hips. 

“C-can’t anymore,” you whine, squeezing your thighs shut with your hand hovering over your core. “Sore..”

Heeseung licks at his mouth, patting your hip, sneaking a look at the open door. “Don’t be greedy.” He says it loud enough for Sunghoon to hear, in case he happened to come back out. “You get to cum over and over again thanks to me and I get nothing?”

Given any other day without the help of alcohol, he wouldn’t have been able to last this long. Not after this type of fucking, silently grateful for the liquid courage his brother had to remind him that he needed to act this way..

“That’s so selfish.” He laughs, slapping your hip before manhandling you onto your stomach. “Fine.”

He’ll be nice, content enough by the sound of his brother’s room door slamming shut some time ago. Grabbing your arms he pulls them back, wrapping a hand around both your wrists. “Stay put baby.” 

Twisting your neck to look over your shoulder, you catch the crazed look on Heeseung’s face. Stroking his cock over your ass with hungry eyes, he places it between your buttcheeks, licking at his lips. “Wanna fuck your ass.”

You clench up at that, wrists shifting in his hold, earning a slap on your butt. “Not right now.” He winks at you, dropping a glob of spit along the crevice, moving it around with his length. “Fuck, think you want it though..”

Crossing your ankles, you quietly moan as he begins to thrusts between your ass. The cock head rubbing against your rim incessantly. The sensations still too foreign and new, exciting, digging your toes against the bed when you feel your hole twitch after he spills more spit. The rubbing makes your stomach hot, still weak after multiple orgasms, but desperate to feel him everywhere.

Mouth, between your breasts, filling your pussy, claiming your ass. You’d let him, if he really wanted to..

“You’re so wet back here.” He mumbles, hips throttling against your backside faster and faster. “Could fuck your ass, could slip it right in.”

The clap of skin on skin seers between your thighs, clenching them together to make the squeeze around his cock tighter somehow. “What if I fuck your ass?” Heeseung teases, releasing your wrists to lay his chest against your back. Arm coming around to choke around your throat. 

His thrusts become more erratic, more sloppy. The tip catching on your rim more than once with each pass of his length rutting between your ass. “Bet it’d feel so good. So fucking tight.” He whimpers, pulling your back into an arch with his bicep tucked under your jaw. “Fuck, oh fuck baby.”

It hits you first, letting out a breathless squeal, scratching at the bedding. The heat between your bodies boiling over the edge, tipping you off to reach your peak once again. 

“Shitshitshit.” Heeseung groans, licking up the side of your face, pressing messy kisses to the corner of your mouth. “Thank you, thank you.”

Desperation rolls off his tongue, losing his pace against your backside as powerful tremors roll through his body. Thrusting right against your rim for the tip to push in, he shoves up fast. Palms flat on your shoulder blades, blinking the sweat and tears impairing his sight to focus on his cock pouring out string after string of white creamy cum. The release shakes right through him, trembling against your figure pressed flat to the bed, cum dripping down to pool at your rim making the filthiest picture for him to savor.

“Holy fuck—“ collapsing against you, he struggles to breath. Chest moving rapidly against your back, crushing your lungs at the same time. 

“Hee..” you scramble, too weak to push him off. 

“Sorry so sorry,” he mutters, kissing your shoulder before rolling off to your side. “Give me a minute, I’ll clean up.”

Laying like that next to him, you can’t form a single thought. Watching the shadow of his side profile as he recuperates, breathing coming back down to a normal pace. He sighs, hands dragging through his damp sweaty hair before turning to kiss your cheek and stumble off the bed.

Taking no longer than a minute to wet a towel, he comes back and cleans off your back, gently patting between your thighs. Seemingly sobered up enough to remember to do this. You smile and work with him to get under the blanket, shivering as the warmth embraces you.

“Was I too rough?” He mumbles sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

“Yeah..” you smirk, burying yourself deeper into the pillow. “Liked it.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, he pecks your forehead, softly stroking your cheek for a minute. “Goodnight.”

“Night baby.” You hum, slowly entering a mythical universe full of dreams.

“Hey hey,” a soft cool touch pats your cheek, stirring you awake. “Drink this, or you’ll be hurting bad tomorrow.”

“Mmphh?” More than already half asleep, you open your mouth against a glass pressed to your lips, neck held up by a firm hold.

“Swallow.”

Between blurred vision and a bit of help you manage to get a few pills down, whining your way back to the pillow you’d been resting on.

“Good.” Sunghoon hums, tucking the blanket in around you. “Get some sleep.”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Waking up to the sound of birds chirping would be lovely, the smell of a hot pot of coffee, a warm and cozy bed to cuddle into.

But today had other plans for you.

Squinting your eyes open, you sit up abruptly, covering your mouth at the aggressive sound of throwing up coming from outside of the room. 

“Heeseung?” 

The sound gets worse the longer you sit there and try to gather your thoughts, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you stumble free from the hotel bed, legs tangled up in a sheet.

“You might not want to go in there.” Sunghoon greets you with a large smile, sipping on water. “He’s been emptying his guts for an hour now. Surprised it didn’t wake you up sooner.”

“Oh my God, Hee?” Tugging the sheet around your body, you lean against the door, rapping your knuckles along the wood. “Are you okay??”

“No! Don’t come in here!” He says raspily, throat run down. “Please, don’t!”

“Are you sure?? Do you need anything??”

“Go away!” He gags again, the noise rising bile up your throat. 

“I can’t..” covering your mouth you back away, stumbling back into Sunghoon.

“Don’t worry, I gave him some medicine and water.” He lets you know, passing you a fresh cup of tea. “How’re you feeling? You both drank a lot last night..”

“What even happened..” rubbing your head, you sip on the tea. Sitting down on the couch. “I didn’t drink that much.. I guess that’s why I don’t feel awful.”

Sunghoon nods, leaning against a chair. “Heeseung’s never known his limit.” He sighs, shrugging. “Anyway. What are the plans for today?”

The bathroom door bursts open with an unavoidable rancid smell permeating past Heeseung’s long frame slumping against the wall. 

“Sick dude, you need to take a shower..” Sunghoon implores, waving the air away in front of his face. “Just like old times huh? Stumbling out of the bathroom covered in puke.”

“Hee..” you jump to stand, not wanting to get too close when you see the state of him. “How’re you feeling?”

Ignoring his brother, he wipes one of the smaller hotel towels down his face, holding an arm out for you to stay back. “Terrible. Fuck I’m sorry. Sorry if I woke you up..”

“It’s okay,” you hesitate, wrapping your fingers around the sheet held around your body. “Why don’t you take a shower and get cleaned up. We can play it by ear, maybe stay in today.”

Sunghoon scoffs, standing up straight, motioning between the two of you. “We’re not staying out here an entire week. You’re really wasting another day locked up inside this hotel? Is that what you flew across the country for?”

Heeseung frowns, silently agreeing. “I don’t feel up to going anywhere.” He says, more evident as his hand raises to his mouth to hold back another gag. “You should still go.”

Taking a few deep breaths, he quickly shakes his head, rapidly waving before slamming the door shut and returning to kiss the porcelain bowl.

“I should stay..” you lament, eyes drooping lower the more it settles that you really are wasting another day..

“Let Heeseung rest today, he needs it after all that drinking last night.” Sunghoon circles your wrist to lure you away from the shared living room, eyebrow arched up curiously. “You aren’t seriously going to let him steal one of your days to explore the city?”

“I feel bad, it’s my fault he drank so much..”

“You don’t get to visit Italy whenever you please, you know?” Sunghoon frowns, unrelenting with his small backwards steps toward your bedroom. “It’s still early enough for us to check out The Vatican. Remember when you watched that documentary and kept raving on about wanting to visit?”

Of course you remember, the question is why he remembers. “You’ll go with me?” 

Sunghoon scoffs, leaning against the door frame with a soft smile. “I’ll go anywhere with you. Now hurry up and get dressed so we can pass by the shops and get some coffee in our systems before we head out.”

Eyeing the shut bathroom door, you ponder for a minute, shifting from foot to foot. “Give me a bit to freshen up, I’ll meet you down there.”

He pouts, reluctant to let you close the door to your room as he bats thick eyelashes at you in a playful manner. “I can just wait for you here.. nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“Get out!” 

Sunghoon chuckles, mumbling on his way out to not pack your bag much since he has ‘daddy’s credit card’ to cover any expenses.

“Yeah yeah..” even while getting ready you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about Heeseung, setting out water bottles and medicine for him on the kitchen counter. 

“Going to explore the city,” you call through the door, knocking lightly. “Call me if you need anything from outside. I’ll try to be back in time for dinner.”

“Don’t worry.” Heeseung replies, sounding exhausted. “Please—please go have fun.”

“Won’t be as fun without you.” You whisper, shouting your goodbyes through the walls before heading down to meet up with Sunghoon.

The thing about your step-brother is that he really has no clue how to dress down, which really lessens the options hung up in your hotel closet. Perhaps a sundress today, something that would pop against your skin and hug your shape better. Not to impress him or anything, but to at least better your chances of not appearing like a slob next to some model dressed to the 9’s.

Sandals, a sundress, a sweater for the evening when it cools down, and a lightweight satchel. Easy, not trying too hard at all. Even if you take a little extra time to style your hair and ensure your makeup can hold up through the European summer heat.

“Ah, of course.” You mutter to yourself upon finding him standing outside of the coffee shop. Black slacks hang from his hips like a dream, buttoned down shirt tucked in accentuating his slim near non-existent waist, and hair quaffed back without a hair out of place other than the piece dangling down over his forehead. He’s a perfect vision, the usual, nothing to gasp over anymore as you’ve grown accustomed to his utter perfection.

“Well, don’t you look stunning.” He smiles, pointing his arm out in a triangular shape for yours to slip between. “Shall we?”

“No funny business.” You warn before hooking your arm through his. 

“I would never.” He grins, directing you by his side to get in line. “Americano?”

“Yeah, that’s simple enough.”

“I’ve hailed an Uber to pick us up, says we’ll be arriving in about 25 minutes.”

“Sounds good.” 

You realize any nerves Sunghoon used to elicit have subsided as you sit in the cramped backseat of an Italian made vehicle. Even with your limbs pressed together and the occasional adjustments he makes until his arm is looped over your shoulder as he casually speaks and points out the different architecture through the car window along the way, you can’t help to think this is comfortable.

And comfort isn’t always a good thing. Especially as you shift for a better view and his chest presses to your back, face closer to yours the more he explains the difference in environment and building structures. 

“Why do you know so much about this stuff?” 

“You think I’d be graduating with honors if I hadn’t also studied European history?” He says cockily, stroking down your arm. “I’m excited to see The Vatican too, it’s been a dream of mine for a few years now.”

Google translate has become your most reliable tool this past week, reaching for your phone as the ride comes to an end only to be stopped by Sunghoon bellowing out what can only be described as broken Italian; the driver responds with a sharp tongue, waving for both of you to exit his vehicle quickly.

“You speak Italian?”

Sunghoon laughs, rounding about to grab the door for you before you manage to get it yourself. “I practiced a bit after we booked this trip.”

“This trip you forced your way into?” You say snarkily, nudging his side as you begin the mile long walk to enter Vatican city. 

“I told you, I’ve always wanted to visit Europe too.” Sunghoon nods to one of the many street vendors lining the pathway. “Hope these are still open by the time we leave, I always like to purchase souvenirs made by the locals.”

The variety of carts sell different items from foods, art, handmade bags, religious memorabilia, and jewelry that beams beneath the bright sun.

“Oh my God, this is beautiful.” You trail off, drawn away from whatever Sunghoon’s continued to go on about. “I’ve always wanted one like this.”

Black pearls slide through your digits, the necklace on display attached with a fat price tag that has you releasing the piece as fast as you picked it up. “That’s pretty.” 

Sunghoon comes up behind you to pick up the necklace, nodding to the cart vendor. “I’ll take this one.”

His wallets out before you can argue, even so your palm lays on his wrist as you shake your head. “Hoon, I was just looking.”

“Nonsense, it’ll look great on you.” He nods, counting out a wad of Euros to cover the fee. “And it will add to the nice memories of your trip.”

Sunghoon takes the packed up necklace and motions to your neck. “You should wear it right now, you know, it will look great in the pictures we get today.”

“Okay..”

Swiping your hair to the side you take a deep breath, shivering as the pearls meet your skin and his long fingers slowly glide up past your collarbone to connect to the clasp. He leans in close to whisper, shutting the necklace to hold together. “There, you see? Beautiful.”

And it is, very very beautiful, you think as you admire the black opal against your skin in a small scratched mirror hanging from the side of the vendor's cart. “Thank you..”

Sunghoon fails to respond, having turned around as a group of girls giggled and passed by with mischievous smirks, waving coyly at him, a few even winking. He waves back nervously, laughing under his breath and reaching for his nape to rub at. 

“So handsome.”

They say, continuing to gawk and gaze back over their shoulders on their way down the path. “I said thanks.” You speak up, mildly annoyed.

“Huh? Oh yeah yeah.” Sunghoon turns back to wave at the girls again, adding a small salute and shy laugh. “It’s no problem.”

“Right.” You say, growing more annoyed. “Let’s keep going before this crowd gets worse.”

“Oh yeah, definitely.”

It seems to become all the more obvious just how many women(and men) double take as your step-brother walks by. Growing eyes and pleased smiles take over the strangers faces upon taking in his modelesque physique and striking features, not to mention the Italian nonnas oohing and ahhing over him before breaking into a chatter of compliments.

Quite the crowd pleaser. You can’t help but to roll your eyes, finding yourself moving closer and closer to his side until you cave at the sight of a gorgeous girl lighting up and biting down on her lip as she checks him out.

“Hoon.” Putting on your sweetest smile, you squeeze around his bicep and press fully to his side. “Thank you again, for making me do this.”

Sunghoon leans in to bump his forehead to yours. “I told you, anywhere you wanna go, I’ll be there.”

And you’d believe it if not for his wandering gaze, running up and down the sets of Italian model legs trotting around you. “Seriously, thank you for suggesting this.”

“Hey!” Pinching his chin, you force his eyes back to yours. “We’re here to appreciate architecture, rare relics! Art God damnit!”

He laughs, taking a hold of your wrist, smoothly gliding his fingers between yours. “Yes, we are, aren’t we.”

The Vatican’s gorgeous, something photos alone could never truly capture. Your jaw’s on the floor from the moment you step inside, twirling around slowly to admire the art above you. 

Click. Flash. Click.

“Did you just take a picture of me?” You stop, hands on your hips, tongue poking against the inside of your cheek.

“Am I not here to be your photographer?” Sunghoon quickly takes another, catching you off guard with the flash on his phone.

“Hey!” He gets more shots of you walking toward him with your arm extended to cover his phone lense, smiling from behind the screen. “Get pictures of the art! Not me!”

He hums, motioning for you to continue walking. “Thought you’d want to document this moment is all.”

“Of course I do.” Getting your own photos and videos, you think about showing Heeseung what he missed out on later. Unfortunate that he ended up drinking so much.. but that’s not what you need to be thinking about right now. “I’m not photogenic.”

“Who says you’re not?” Sunghoon frowns, pointing out a large staircase ahead. “Go stand over there for a minute.”

“Hoon..”

“Come on, I’ll prove to you that you photograph just fine.”

“Let’s not waste too much time with pictures alright?” Begrudgingly you stand near the stair railing, off to the side enough for other tourists to still pass by. Sunghoon goes on about how it’s not you, but likely a bad photographer, which shouldn’t be an issue since he’s oh so great.

He even gets on his knees, determined to prove his point, not caring about dirt and dust trekked through ending up on his slacks. “Try placing your hands there, yeah, and tilt your chin in, that’s it, beautiful.”

“Alright alright that’s enough.” Embarrassment has you covering your face, hiding from strangers slowing down to judge you.

“Look.” Showing off the pile of photos he took, he zooms in on one of the last ones before you covered your face, hand just above your chest with a shy smile beginning to creep up. “Really like this one.”

“I look like an idiot.”

“You look gorgeous.”

He’s still smiling unblinkingly at the photo when you look at him, raging a storm of warmth beneath your cheeks. “Let’s go up these stairs.” You end up rushing past the groups of foreigners around you, eager to gain a little distance from your step-brother. 

“Hey, slow down.” He laughs, grabbing onto your elbow. “The paintings aren’t going anywhere.”

“Pft I know that,” slipping free from his hold, you nod ahead toward a statue. “Madonna della Pietá.”

Sunghoon clears his throat, standing too close by your side. “When Jesus was taken down from the cross and placed in his mother’s arms..”

“I shouldn’t be surprised that you’re some genius art historian at this point.” Rolling your eyes, you continue to read the description of Michaelangelo’s statue depicting Mary and Jesus. 

“Well,” he pauses for a minute to take short breaths, hands tightly clasped behind his back. “There’s always been something about this piece.”

For once his attention isn’t on you, gawking at the statue with gloss coated eyes. “Some believe that Michaelangelo wanted to create a work describing the heart’s image. When I first read about Pietá I wondered if a mother’s undying love is what fuels a heart. What would we be without a mother after all.”

“Sunghoon..”

He blinks furiously, turning away from the statue. “I had to write a paper about it.” Clearing his throat, he proceeds on without waiting for you. Leaving you uncomfortably staring at the preserved piece of art. 

A mother’s undying love.. something Sunghoon was never given.

You could ask what the paper was about, analyzing religion? The hanging on the cross? Motherhood? Or you could just drop it. Ignore that sour feeling building up inside of your stomach. Remember who Sunghoon is even if you feel an inkling of remorse for him.

“It’s no wonder you’re such a good tutor.” You jab his side, attempting to shift the atmosphere back to a playful one. “Brainiac.”

He grins a little, phone lifting to mask his face and get another photo of you. “Ugh come on, here.” Grabbing the device from his hands, you start to get pictures of him. “Enough of me! You’re here too.”

“We need some together.” He says not even trying to pose, grabbing your hand to hold the phone higher and get both of your faces in the shot. “You know, to prove to our parents that we actually came here. Come on, smile!”

His cheeks dimple in, distracting you as you look at the screen on selfie mode reflecting back your faces. “You’re too tall.. cutting off my head.”

“Fine fine.” He crouches, cheek brushing against yours. Getting a few shots in of the both of you smiling before making a fast turn with his pursed lips landing on your cheek.

“Sunghoon!” 

Even with you landing slaps down on his arm he still managed to get a couple of photos, cheerfully walking away through the rest of the church. “Do not show those to my mom.”

“She’d probably love these.” He steals a look at the pictures, biting back a smile. “Look at us bonding now.”

“Right.. yeah, bonding.” You murmur, continuing to walk and check out the rest of the church. 

“This has been nice.” Sunghoon nods, rubbing this stomach. “I’m a little hungry though.”

“Ah, I don’t really want to eat..” slowing down, you check your phone to check in on Heeseung. No messages, he must have knocked out after the way his body rudely awoke him. “Trying to save room for dinner.”

“Oh come on, I saw a crepe stand out there.” Sunghoon points to the other side of the street full of food vendors. “We haven’t even gone that way yet. You know, the desserts in Europe are nothing like the shit we get in America.”

“How would you know?” You pretend to frown, mostly pouting, sticking close to his side. The sense of feeling that you’re being closely watched returns, catching different sets of eyes darting from you to your step-brother. Can’t take him anywhere..

“Dad brought me out to London once for a business trip when I was really into Harry Potter.” He recalls, ordering a chocolate crepe to share since you insist on watching your figure. 

“Bet you really related to Malfoy.”

“Whattt?” Sunghoon laughs, holding the crepe to cut a piece off for you. “I’m no Slytherin.”

“Oh, please!” You snort, moving your neck back when he raises the fork to your lips. “You’re sooo Slytherin!”

“Am not.” He says, tongue click, continuing to shut and open his mouth for you to take a bite. “Come on, we only have one fork.”

“I can feed myself.”

“You don’t need to, that’s what I’m here for.” He tuts, placing the fork by your lips again. “Now open up, say ahhh.”

Against your nature, you meet his gaze, slowly propping open your mouth for him to slide a piece of crepe onto your tongue. “Oh that’s..”

“Told ya..” Sunghoon forks a bite for himself, letting out a pleased hum. “Delicious.”

“Alright, I guess that’s actually amazing.” You admit, bumping into his side for another bite. “But you’re still a Slytherin.”

“You have me all wrong.” Feeding you another piece, he brings the empty fork to his mouth, biting on the plastic to hold it in place. “You got a little..”

He swipes at your bottom lip, cleaning off a smear of chocolate, breath lodged in his throat when you blink up at him. Pushing down on the juicy center of your lip, he sinks in for your tongue to meet the tip of his finger. Biting on his own lip as you unintentionally lick the bit of chocolate clean off his skin without breaking eye contact. 

“Think I’ve had enough.” You cough, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. Chest fluttering, forcing yourself to look away. “So uhm, what house do you think you’d land in then?”

“Pfft,” finishing off the crepe, he wipes his hands clean and throws away the trash. “I’m obviously Gryffindor.”

“Ah, I can see that.” You giggle, rolling your eyes. “Cocky, big headed, full of yourself, egotistical.”

“More like Courageous, daring, willing to do anything to get what I want.” He declares proudly, standing up straight with his chest puffed out. “And I do mean anything.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.” Checking your phone again, you sigh, eager to wrap this excursion up.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Your house?” Sunghoon asks curiously, evidently forming his own opinion already.

“Slytherin, duh.” You tsks, playfully punching his shoulder.

“Ah yes, Hufflepuff personality, Slytherin mindset.” He jokes, throwing an arm around your waist. “Happens all the time, I can see why you’re confused.”

“Believe me,” sliding from his hold, you begin to walk away from the food vendors. “I’m Slytherin.”

Raising an eyebrow, he follows after you, more intrigued to delve into what you mean by that. You’re not as innocent as you like to act, dumber than you try to display if anything..

“We should start heading back.” You suggest, directing him toward the nearest street corner. “I told Hee we’d be back for dinner.”

“Ughh.. why do you even care if he eats dinner? He’s such an asshole for doing this shit on your vacation.” Sunghoon says petulantly. Rolling his eyes as you drag him out to the path to hail a cab, not wanting to walk the long trek through the street shops again.

“The issues you have with each other are seriously starting to give me a headache..” you sigh, shoving him to get inside the backseat of a taxi that pulls up. Quickly showing the driver the hotel address on your phone, you lean back, leaving ample space between you and your step-brother. “I told you, it’s my fault. I made him drink that first night..”

“He’s an adult.” Sunghoon sneers, pushing his legs open wide until your knees touch. “Last I checked he should be fully capable of making responsible decisions for himself. What were those two years of therapy for anyway, as if he’s the one that was left abandoned.”

As much as you’d love to get into it with him, be extra nosey, not even your curiosity can stop you from yawning. The summer heat and tension between the brothers, tension between you and Sunghoon, all of it really has been wearing you down. Sinking further into the seat with your head resting on the window, you finally relax enough. It’s not as if you’d really gotten a good night's sleep, still sore between your thighs after the evening’s activities..

“I’m not a therapist.” You mutter, yawning. “Wake me up when we get there.”

There’s a quiet grunt that travels from your side, a few choice words mumbled under his breath. Listening to Heeseung’s complaints and worries is one thing, but there’s zero reason to grant Sunghoon any of that courtesy.

He wants to pick a fight with you, mention that you’re only not suffering today with your head in a toilet thanks to him. Because maybe he conveniently packed hangover medication for you, just in case. Maybe he threw it in his bags with hopes of this happening. Maybe you and Heeseung both walked right into his trap, easier than tempting a fat kid with candy. It’s almost unbelievable how well this all worked out in his favor, if only he can figure out how to make it happen again..

“Wake up princess.” He announces, shaking your shoulder. “We’re here.”

That car nap was not nearly long enough to recover from this day. Brushing it off you head up to your room with Sunghoon, quietly entering to find Heeseung sat on the couch drinking water, nervously jumping up when you approach. 

“My baby.” You smile, wrapping him in a tight hug. “You feeling better?”

“Yeah.” He beams, skin shining after hours of trying to recover. A nice clean scent of soap wafting off his skin and hair. “You have a good time?”

“Super fun.” You chirp, running fingers through his hair. “Missed you.”

“Missed you too.” Going in for a kiss, he frowns when you dodge him, large eyes slumping at the corners. 

“Sorry, I feel stinky..” you admit, grimacing and pulling away. “Shower first and then we can go find some food?”

He smiles, rubbing your arms up and down. “Fine fine, I’ll get dressed.”

“You look cute already.”

“I could say the same about you.” You add, winking and passing him to your bedroom.

And I could start throwing up myself, Sunghoon thinks, sporting a face of disgust. Pretending to look at his phone, he blocks your way. “The pictures,” he says, motioning to the screen open on the photos he took today. “Want me to airdrop them?”

“Oh yeah, for sure.” Handing him your phone, you unlock it, continuing to your room. “Just toss it on my bed when you’re done.”

“Sounds good.” He nods, not missing the way his older brother’s glaring at him. He waits for the sound of the shower to play, raising his eyebrows at the older. “You really missed out today.”

“Yeah?” Heeseung questions, sitting down on the couch and unlocking his phone. “What exactly did I miss?”

“You know we’re here to see Italy, right?” Sunghoon laughs sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Sitting down on an ottoman by the couch, he drags a thumb across his phone screen, selecting each photo to send.

“I’m here for her.” Heeseung bristles, choosing to forget how he paced around pulling at his hair after sobering up. The thought of you alone with his younger brother for so many hours drove him more insane than he’d like to admit. Possibly even to the point of opening and closing the hotel's bar menu, picking up and hanging up the phone multiple times to stop himself from making an order. He couldn’t stop imagining the two of you together, touching, bumping into each other, holding hands, laughing together.

It made him feel more nauseous, too sick to even think about food. Not until you walked through the door and immediately went up to him was he able to calm down, ease his worries and relax enough to take a deep breath.

He’s being stupid. Insecure, silly, worrying about nothing..

“Oh my bad,” Sunghoon chuckles, getting up to leave your phone in your room. “Think I airdropped you the pictures too, just ignore that.” He shouts out before walking to his bedroom. “I’m gonna take a nap, today winded me. Probably order room service, so don’t worry about me.”

“No one’s worrying about you.” Heeseung replies under his breath, thumb hovering over a photo of you smiling. The options to accept or decline 47 photos wait for his response, chewing on his bottom lip as he accepts and they load onto his phone.

You look so cute, so pretty, smiling shyly and posing in your sundress. He smiles scrolling through the photos, cursing at himself for not being the one to take them for you. Probably impressed you how well Sunghoon was able to capture these beautiful pictures of you..

The ugly thoughts invade his head once again, face falling more and more as he scrolls through photos of you admiring the Vatican one after the next. The way you seem unaware, so enthralled by your surroundings, in awe.. Sunghoon must’ve taken these when you weren’t paying attention, too caught up in the art and architecture. These gorgeous photos you’ll look back on years down the line, precious memories, ones that Heeseung did not make with you.

He fucked up. He really fucked up.. 

Feeling down on himself again, he’s ready to lock his phone shut. Scratching his thigh roughly, pretending to not feel the itch shooting through his limbs. He swipes to the next one, breath catching in his throat when he sees a selfie shot of you and Sunghoon. It’s only the top half of your face, his brother’s handsome features taking up most of the screen.

You took pictures together?

He has to see the next, swallowing the dryness tightening his throat when he sees you both smiling, cheeks only an inch or two apart. The space between you is barely there, such a pretty smile stretching your cheeks wide. 

You look good, and what’s worse is you look good together. He knew it, he knew you’d make a good looking couple. Both of you are attractive in your own right, complimentary, suitable for each other. 

You haven’t taken photos together yet, maybe you should. He stares longer, wondering if you’d look better by his side, wondering why you’d ever choose him over Sunghoon..

It’s the next photo that has his spine stiffening ramrod straight, coughing on his spit from trying to moisten his throat. He feels more sick than ever now. The smile on your face stings through his chest, the glimmer in his brother’s eyes. 

His lips pressed to your cheek..

It hurts to see. Not because he feels betrayed, not because he has any right to tell you he’s uncomfortable with this, but because you look like such a happy fucking couple. 

It’s worse than seeing you side by side in a documented memory. It’s beautiful actually, some shit you’d see on Pinterest under ‘couple goals’ and it makes him want to lurch, covering his mouth and shoving his phone away. He sits for a minute, festering with anger, frustrated beyond belief that this is seriously happening. That this is happening even as adults.

That this is happening with a girl he really fucking likes and doesn’t want to lose.

“Hee?” 

Too caught up in his thoughts, he doesn’t hear the shower turn off, doesn’t hear your bedroom door open. Doesn’t notice you standing there in a towel, skin soft and glistening wet. His hand slowly drops from his mouth when he looks at you and can’t even force a smile, standing up fast to get to you; fists balled up at his sides. 

“Are you not feeling well?” You ask, wrinkling between your forehead full of concern. Sick, so fucking sick how much that pulls at his heart strings. How much it hurts to think about you with him, with anyone other than himself.

“No.” He says flatly, expressionless. “I’m not feeling well.”

With big confused eyes and a sad pout, you reach for his forehead, pressing the back of your hand down. “You’re a little warm..”

Grabbing your forearm, he removes your touch, taking slow steps back. “Think I’ll skip dinner tonight.”

“What? But—“

“Not hungry anymore.” He nods, turning to snatch the bar menu from the kitchen counter. “But I am thirsty.”

“I can go grab us some more water bottles if you want?”

He ignores you, picking up the hotel phone and placing an order for 3 different bottles of alcohol. “Charge it all to the room.” He says before hanging up. “And make it fast.”

“Heeseung, what're you doing?” 

If looks could kill, the disappointment written all over your face could rip his heart out and trample him to death. He shrugs, looking away, tongue poking out from the inside of his cheek. “What? You didn’t seem to mind yesterday. Remember how cute I am drunk?”

“You’re cute when you’re not drunk too..” you whisper, clutching the towel closer to your body, seeming confused. “Did Sunghoon say something?”

There you go mentioning him.

“Something?” He raises a curious eyebrow. “And what exactly do you think he’d have to say to me? Did something happen between the two of you?”

“W-what??” You panic, head shaking. “No!”

“Then why are you asking?” He squints, stepping forward to corner you. “You got all pretty to go out with him, spent all day alone together, really expect me to believe nothing happened??”

“Heeseung I—“

The doorbell rings, immediately stealing his attention to storm over and rip the door open, smiling and rolling in a cart with bottles dunked inside of ice. “Wonderful.” He turns to you, popping open a clear bottle of what you assume to be hard liquor. “Now this is a vacation.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Why am I doing what?” He scoffs, not bothering to fill a cup. Taking a shot straight from the bottle. “We had fun yesterday didn’t we? Maybe that’s what we are, I’m your crazy party boy.” Rolling his eyes, he takes another swig. “I fuck you how you like and take you to concerts, let you treat me like your bitch boy.”

The clear look of anger targeted at him has him looking away, chugging down more as fast as he can. Not wanting to be level headed or clear minded for this anymore. “He’s the one you can prance around on these fancy vacations, show off to the world.” 

“What did he say to you?!” You fume, grabbing his hand holding the bottle. “Come on, talk to me!”

“Nothing.” He glowers, snatching his arm away, another swig down. It’s enough now to have his stomach bubbling, warm, full of acidic burning tingles. “I should have just fucking gone with you. It’s my fault.”

“You didn’t feel good..” you lament, teeth grinding as he takes another drink. “And you’re going to feel like shit again if you keep drinking like this.”

“Is it so bad that I want to have fun with you now too?” Playing with the etched words on the bottle, he grins, head shaking. “You wanna spend more time with him or what?”

“Why do you keep bringing Sunghoon up? I don’t care about him.” Running a hand through your half-dried hair, you pull at clumps, feeling tense. Aggravation rising each time his lips wrap around the bottle of clear liquid in his grip, finally realizing what door you’ve opened.

No one likes me when I drink. That’s what Heeseung had said, and now it clicks. You get it now. He’s not casually drinking for fun, he’s doing it to mask some type of hurt you haven’t begun to understand, because you should have listened better. Too focused on yourself and your own needs, too dumb and immature to handle whatever it is he could be going through.

Whatever it is Sunghoon could also be dealing with. Once again caught in the middle of their trauma and pain, you see no other way to deal with this other than doing the only thing you know how to do best.

Heeseung taps off the bottle, already reaching for the other, in disbelief when he looks at you through half-lidded glossy eyes and raises it to his lips. “Because, you like him, don’t you.”

He’s not asking, flat out informing you like some news broadcaster. “You like him, and you can’t deny it.” He huffs, smiling, dragging his tongue along the opening. “I see the way he looks at you, but I should’ve paid more attention to the way you look back..”

“You’re being irrational.” Holding onto the towel loosely, you step up to him, lifting the bottle in his hold to your lips. “Let’s have fun.”

“Yeah?” That seems to please him, cheek wrinkling to one side. “What type of fun are you thinking?”

One sip incinerates your throat, hiding a grimace as you glance down and fidget with the cotton fabric clutched in your grip, slowly letting go. “I’m all wet.”

Heeseung groans, taking a sip as his eyes follow inches of your skin being revealed. “You look fucking good.” His tongue drags heavily between words, leaving a thick layer of spit across his bottom lip as he leans in and breaths out pure alcohol across your face. “All that for me?”

“Yeah,” you nod sheepishly, eyeing the bottle, slowly stealing it free from his hold. “Now fuck me.”

Stumbling back surprised, he raises the bottle to his lips, taking a swig with a reaction this time. The liquor much darker, mixing treacherously with the clear vodka he’d already downed. “Get your pretty ass over here.” 

Stepping back toward the couch, he sets the bottle down on the floor, reaching to unzip his pants. You stagger for a minute, tempted to make sure Sunghoon’s door is shut. Not that it should matter after yesterday, or after everything you’ve done.

Walking naked over to where Heeseung leans back on the couch, you can’t ignore how annoyed—almost angry you feel. Reaching for his jaw to make him look at you, you grit. “I said fuck me.”

“Yeah, I a-am.” Already slurring, he pats his thigh. The room beginning to spin now that he’s sat down, blinking rapidly. “S-sit on my face baby.”

His tongue drags out, lolling lazily across his lips. As drunk as he already seems, you can’t deny he looks good. Extra sultry and heated, reaching for your hips where you stand between his spread open thighs. He pulls you in, face crashing between your hips taking in a deep inhale. “S-smell so good, sweet fucking pussy.”

It shouldn’t be this tempting, shouldn’t feel this good to let him pull you forward until you get on top of him, knees sinking into the couch by his hips. “You’re gonna make me fall..” you giggle, playing with his hair, still slightly damp from washing it hours ago. “Should be criminal how cute you are like this..”

Helpless and dumb, extra pouty, dopey, smiling hard enough for his large bambi eyes to disappear. “T-think ya just like me.” He professes, eyebrows raising. 

“I do.” Gripping his shoulders, you lift up, forgetting that Sunghoon’s only a wall away fast asleep. “I like you a lot Hee..”

“Like you more,” he hiccups, neck leaning back on the couch, blearily blinking up at you. Wrapping your hands around his throat, you slowly lower down until your middle brushes along his chin. Keeping yourself steady with a light hold on his neck. He gurgles a little, breathing heavily, mouth opening wide. 

“Sit down.” A crack claps off your backside, shocking you to fall forward and land on his open mouth. His hands grip your ass after delivering a rough slap, urging you to really sit on his face.

More smacks barrel down, manipulating your hips to rut forward, no choice but to bounce away from the strikes he continues to land. “Ugh, Hee..”

It’s impossible to not roll your hips down faster, fucking your clit against his nose furiously. The rubbing motion setting off each nerve with his tongue filling you up. Huffing weak breaths against your cunt the more he struggles to breathe with your hands squeezing around his throat, persistently bouncing down on his face with his large palm squeezing your ass. 

“Fuck fuck, yes!” Unable to control yourself, you really get into it. Losing your mind when he wiggles the width against your inner walls. Obscene wet sounds clapping out, his struggled gasps for air, the wet draining from your hole. 

So nasty, so fucking nasty. Despite being unhappy with the involvement of alcohol, you can’t deny how much better the sex is. How much raunchier Heeseung gets, rougher, really treating you like a bitch in heat. 

In a lot of ways, you needed this from him. Needed this viscous type of lust, to lose yourself in him. Palpable tension has taken more than a toll on you, the guilt and confusion, attraction and rage. This is the only way to forget the quicksand that’s filled up every corner of your life, sinking deeper and deeper.

His tongue delves through the mess of slick pushing out of your cunt. The muscle works extra hard to push against each hard clench that traps him in place, sucking and slurping loudly. 

Without being able to get his fingers to reach your hole from this position, he teases the dip of your ass. Tracing the line, prodding between to faintly brush down your rim. Fuck, if only you’d move up just a bit so that he could lick you from your asshole to your cunt. Wanting to have a taste of everything right now. He sucks around your pussy, kissing and licking up the pathway to your clit. Trapping the swollen bud between his teeth, he tugs it between his lips and sucks ferociously. Making your thighs crush around his head, groaning when you release his neck. 

“I’m—g-gonna cum!” You whimper, stomach curling with tight heat. Jerking against his face, having to grab onto the couch to keep yourself held up as you tremble and grind down. Hitting your peak this way has you whining desperately, pussy clamping around his tongue pathetically.

Loud pleasure rocks through the room, without a doubt waking anyone up within close proximity. Even the neighbors in close by suites could probably hear your pleasured screams. 

It’s not the first time you’ve squirted, but through blurred vision Heeseung thinks he might cum from this alone. Blinking slowly and heavy as he licks his lips clean and tries to catch the fluid gushing from your hole, entranced by your inner thighs trembling above his face. The cries you let out barely reach his ears through fog and cotton that's stuffed his brain, sighing and slumping back flat without an ounce of energy left. No doubt he’ll feel it in his jaw tomorrow.

“Holy shit..” you weakly slink down to his lap, helping yourself down with your hands on his shoulders.

Insatiable attraction and sexual connection could break through the rough right now, really solidifying that this is what you want. The drinking isn’t that bad, not when everything else between you never fails to blow your mind. Still shaking after a minute of catching your breath.

“Fuck you’re seriously soo—“ he trails off, head falling back panting for air. Lips shiny with arousal, pouring down his throat. Light reflects off his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, swallowing as his eyes roll back. “I’m so f-fucked.”

“Huh?” Too eager to get his dick out, you slide down his thighs. Drawing his hardened length out to stroke, spreading the precum around. “So horny right now baby, need you to fuck me.”

Heeseung hisses when you start to jerk him off, not lifting his head as the room spins above him. It’s all too much, having to clench his eyes shut. The timing too perfect with you lining him up to your entrance, slowly lowering down to take an inch. “Ughh,” you moan brokenly, strung out and high from riding his face. “So good, that’s so good.”

He’d agree with you if the floor would stop moving, if his neck felt like it could lift on it’s own, if the light wasn’t starting to go black behind his eyes. 

He’s been here before, drunk off his ass, half-near passed out with his cock deep inside of a warm hole. Memories race through his head, falling back onto a cloud as they shoot past him and draw him further into a drunken dreamland. At least the couch is soft, unlike the many floors and walls he’s crashed against in the past, even waking up on sidewalks and lawns after an all night rager.

“S-so full.” You whimper, grinding down, palms sliding up his chest. “Baby.”

His chest steadily rises and falls, mouth hung open blowing out calm breaths, eyes rolled back shut. Slowing down, you lean in, taking in how calm and easy his features are, as if he’s—

“Hee??” You cry, landing your palms on his chest firmly. Not hard enough to slap, but at least to jolt him. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

No way he seriously just passed out. No fucking way.

This can’t be happening. Yeah he drank a lot, but passing out right as you start to fuck?!

After failing to get his eyes open, you let out the longest disappointed sigh. Low key actually wishing for round two of yesterday to forget any of the feelings budding up for his brother. Convinced that another brutal round of fucking could do the job..

“Fuck my life.” Grumbling to yourself, you gather your towel from the floor. Staring at him with the saddest look on your face.

How the fuck did this happen.

How the fuck have you seriously ended up here? Your own boyfriend—whatever he is, getting whiskey dick while inside of you?!

You should help him back to bed. Try to wake him up, or at least leave a trash can out for him to hurl into in case. But after losing any sense of self-confidence you can’t find the will to be a good person right now. 

Fuck this. You storm off, missing that Sunghoon’s door has opened on your way to the bathroom between your rooms.

Fuck that was terrible. 

This is terrible.

Somehow you’ve made this worse.

Grabbing a fresh towel, you eye the shower and contemplate hopping in again, urged to scrub your skin raw. Until it hurts and stings, burns until it bleeds. Anything to forget that seriously just fucking happened to you.

“Seems to be a reoccurring theme,” Sunghoon shatters your inner monologue, jumping and twisting around with a hand clutched to your chest. “Always dropping the ball and leaving you hanging.”

“God, get the hell out of here.” You breathe, snatching the towel to press against your front.

“Cute.” He smiles fast, instantaneously dropping. “You know I’ve literally been inside of you.” 

“You’re so annoying.” You sigh, tired and more frustrated than you can even comprehend. Stuck somewhere between heated arousal and anger, pent up after getting so close only to be let down. “Not tonight, okay? I feel like shit.”

Sunghoon actually looks concerned for once, leaning against the door bathroom connected to his room, lips drawn down. “Hey, he’s just drunk.”

“Yeah.” You sigh disappointedly, fixing the towel around yourself. “You said he drinks a lot right?”

His lips tweak from side to side, contemplating what to say. “He quit for a good while.. haven’t actually seen him this bad since our first year of college.”

“Oh, so..” sniffling, you can’t stop the warmth pushing from behind your eyes. Sucking in your bottom lip to contain a whine. “Is it me? Do you think it’s my fault he’s acting out like this?”

“Hey hey,” Sunghoon doesn’t bother to approach you cautiously. Cupping your cheeks to wipe a droplet from the corner of your eye before it can roll down. “Don’t cry because of this. I guarantee you he’ll wake up regretting all of this tomorrow, probably feel like such an asshole.”

In fact, I’m banking on it.

As comforting as he’s trying to be, you can’t stop the tears already springing free, crumbling in his hands. “I shouldn’t have encouraged him to drink, I didn’t know how bad it’d be..”

“Look at me.” He cooes, cleaning up the wet tracks rolling down to your chin. “No reason you should be crying on your dream vacation like this. Especially not because my brother can’t control his little vice. Don’t worry, alright? He’s gotten help for it before, he’ll be fine.”

He’s gotten help for it before..

“Is Heeseung like..” you slump, pressing closer to his chest. “..an alcoholic?”

“It’s possible.” Sunghoon shrugs, diverting his gaze for a minute. “He said our mom would frequent bars everyday toward the end. I’ve read that it could be genetic, you know, addiction.”

“That must have been hard for him to be around..”

As much as Sunghoon wants to throw out a ‘what about me?’ So desperate for someone to feel bad for him. Because he didn’t even get those memories with his mother. Didn’t even get to cherish the good nor the bad, and hearing about it from his brother only made him more resentful. Even if it hurt, broke his heart, he could only ever wish to have been there with his mom in the end. To suffer with her, to have some type of love for her that would have warranted sympathy the way Heeseung had.

“You have to put yourself first.” He coughs, clearing his throat to shove those thoughts aside. Forcing a smile, he reaches for a tissue to wipe your cheeks properly. “Enough with the tears, alright? Unless..”

Taking a step back, he reaches for your hands, coercing you to let go of the towel that's loosely tucked into place. “You want a real reason to cry, one that makes you feel too good.”

“Hoon..”

“We don’t have to fuck.” He bemoans, mouth dragging down to one side sadly. “Let me make you feel good.” He shrugs, drawing you closer, chest pressed to yours. “I know you didn’t finish..”

He waits a few seconds, each one ticking away loudly in his head. Thigh easing between yours, rucking the towel up higher for him to settle between. The warmth emitting from your core immediately meets his upper leg, watching for any sign of resilience. Met with the sight of your lips parting open, eyes going hazy, and neck arching back slightly; he takes the chances to shove in more. Thigh nestled up right against your cunt.

“Will you let me?” He says breathily, reaching for the top of the towel barely holding on. “Make you feel good.”

Say no, tell him to stop, pick up your towel and get inside of the shower like you’d been planning. 

“K..” ah, it’s as if your subconscious has no control over what leaves your mouth. That’s all it takes for him to grab onto your hips, burying his digits in roughly to really knead your curves between his fingers. Each touch tells you the story of how much he’s missed touching you like this, how he too feels it. He needs it, he wants it.

Sunghoon can’t imagine choosing anything over this right now, let alone getting his dick deep inside of you. He has to bite down on his tongue to stop himself from saying it. To keep down his harsh comments about how his brother doesn’t deserve you, even after having to listen to you cry on his cock more than once now. He know he can fuck you better, how you really need. He can make your thighs shake just from this, rolling down onto his thigh, getting that delicious friction right up against your clit.

“Wanna kiss you.” Licking at his lips, he rubs up to your waist. Squeezing and dipping in, peering over your shoulder at the bathroom mirror reflecting the size difference between you. His hands large around your middle, further emphasizing how easily he could crush you. 

The sound of your breath draws him back, beginning to pant raggedly the more you roll your hips down and rut up his thigh. Planting his foot steadily, he helps you move faster, dropping his forehead to press against yours. Lowering your eyes, you nod, just barely, lips pouting out for him.

He’s wanted it since earlier today, only scoring a small tease with his lips on your cheek. The pictures have been driving him mad, imagining the folder he’d fill up with his tongue inside of your mouth, your eyes rolled back, spine arched up off his bed. 

This kiss feels long overdue, really taking his time to lean into it, groping up to your breasts. He flicks your nipples, pinching them between his fingers until you moan into his mouth and he sneaks his tongue in. This is what he’s been craving, being close to you again. Not only fucking but intimacy you can’t achieve with a quick nut. 

The staggered breaths, noses bumping into each other, plush lips fighting against his to deepen the kiss that's already brought you as close as can be. His chest tightens as your breath turns shakey, eyes clenched shut the faster you ride his thigh. It’s amazing to kiss you this way, lulling your release with no more than his lips. But he wants more, his greedy heart thrumming wildly begging for a taste.

Landing a few searing pecks on your upper and lower lip, he cups your face to take in your lustful gaze. Glazed over eyes, swelling lips parted open, cheeks flushed with heat. That makes his cock jump, hissing away the way he can hear a painful cry shouting at him from inside. Leaving you with one more kiss, he lowers to spread your legs, salivating at the vision before him.

Wet, chubbed up, a strip of well groomed hairs leading down to his heaven. The space between your legs he’d give up anything to be buried inside of for hours, days on end. Fingers, tongue, his dick, whatever the fuck you’ll give him.

The silence would kill him any other time, distract him with questions asking why you’re not screaming, why you’re not crying. But when your hand reaches into his hair and pulls, it stings right to his cock. Eyes fluttering open to find yours, nails digging into the soft skin of your thighs. 

Another tug at his scalp loosens his jaw, heavy eyelashes fanning open. Panting above him behind your ample chest rising rapidly. This is different, hotter, sensual..

The sounds of your aroused exertions dancing together before he leans in still focused on you. Tongue lolling out loosely, lapping your clit without a challenge. The map of your body ingrained in his memory, making it seem all too easy to work you on his tongue.

“Ahh, shit.” You hiss, draping a leg over his shoulder. Your free hand on the counter keeping you held up even as you sway and jerk forward. “Inside i-inside, fuck me with your t-tongue.”

Sunghoon groans deep, rumbling through your core. As much as he wants to spend extra time torturing your clit, he knows Heeseung left you hung up to dry and suffer. His tongue circles your entrance, coated with a thick layer of wet arousal combining with his spit. Flicking a few times to tease you, he really grips onto your inner thighs, holding you hard enough to not budge. Even as tremors roll up your legs and chest, you can only pull on his hair.

Each tug has him releasing moan after moan, gliding the tip of his tongue inside when you finally pull extra hard making his forehead bunch up. He slaps your inner thigh for being so rough, while also egging you to do it again, teasing you with short penetrative licks. 

“Hoonie.. please.” 

Lucky for you, he can’t deny how fucking pretty you sound whining. Moistening his lips with the abundant amount of wetness pouring out of you, he pushes in the rest of the way. 

It’s more than maddening to have his tongue inside of you right now, only minutes after Heeseung had been 9 inches deep. You can’t control the way your hips jump forward, pelvis smacking his face as you start to roll up and down his tongue. Everything about it feels nasty, shameful, stirring up a taboo heat through your chest. It’s wrong, after all the guilt you’d just put yourself through.

But it feels so right. Stretching your fingers through his silky locks, pussy clamping down on his tongue with each long thrust in.

“You’re g-gonna make me—“ you stammer, head tossed back, stomach fluttering with butterflies. “C-cum, I’m—“

Sitting up on his knees, he really grabs onto you good. Tongue jamming in and out, emitting the filthiest wettest sounds between his face and your cunt. The mess of slick trailing down his chin, neck soiled with your arousal, completely drenched. He’d drown in it, suffocate inside of your pussy, die with his tongue stuck in this very spot.

“Fuck—ahh, fuck.” The way your face scrunches up makes his knees go weak. Gripping the bathroom counter by your sides to hold his balance. Release forces his tongue out enough for it to spill onto his neck and chest, licking up what lands on his lips. He swallows stiffly, teeth grinding, taking in long deep breaths through his nose to not bust inside of his pants. Allowing you to catch your breath and go lax against the bathroom mirror while talking himself down from pulling his cock out and fucking you like an animal. A few minutes go back before he stands and cups the back of your neck, stealing your breath with another long hard kiss.

His fingers lift up, glistening wet, exactly the same way they looked on the plane..

“Won’t get tired of watching you cum on me like that.” He admires, bringing his digits to your lips. “Better when you’re wrapped around my cock..”

Slipping past your lips before you can get a word out, he licks at the wet slick trickling down his hand past the digits permeating your lips. Meeting your mouth halfway to suck the clean together. Hungrily dipping in and out for a minute until you’re both slurping more saliva than your release. 

“Can’t have you go to sleep with this mess..” he says huskily, squatting back down to his knees to stretch your legs apart. Large hands clasping your inner thighs, tongue dragging from your open entrance to your clit. Light strokes work to thoroughly clean you up, dragging fat stripes from side to side with his gaze intently watching your face fall apart.

A light kiss on your mound finishes off the job, leaving your legs trembling enough to satisfy him with the thought that you’ll see him in your dreams tonight.

“C’mere.” Sunghoon instructs, standing back up. Scooping you up from the bathroom counter, he quietly grunts, adjusting your weight around his waist to securely pick you up.

“Where you taking me?” You slur, still coming down from your orgasm. Head instantly falling down to rest upon his shoulder. 

“Bed.” He smiles to himself, kissing the top of your head. “Been a long day for both of us.”

“Mhm..” you yawn, allowing him to lay you down and get you tucked in. Sleepily blinking up at him with a confused expression.

Cocking an eyebrow, he settles by your side and fixes your hair, pushing loose strands away from your face.

“This is weird.” You mumble, lips smacking together tiredly.

“What’s weird?”

“This. You. Everything.”

“We can talk about it tomorrow.” Yeah. Tomorrow when his brother will undoubtedly be too fucked to do anything with you. Judging by that entire fucking bottle he downed..

“S’weird..” you yawn again, eyes falling shut, breath turning shallow. 

He watches you succumb to your exhaustion, leaning on a propped up elbow as you drift off. 

“You might not understand yet,” he whispers, speaking to himself. “But I’m doing what’s best for us.”

Not just me.

That’s what he tells himself. That this is what’s best for the both of you, not only to fulfill his greedy desires, to enhance his larger than life ego.

Getting up from your bed, he heads back out to the living room to find his brother still passed out on the couch. Fast asleep, drooling like a baby completely unaware of how chaotic and ruthless the world outside of his dreams can be.

That’s Heeseung’s problem, he doesn’t get it.

Nice guys never win. Not in this dog eat dog world. Their dad taught him that, it’s every man for himself, even if it means destroying a relationship with your own bloodline.

If his brother had fucked off, would he have cared this much about having you? He thinks about it, unlocking his phone to admire the new background he set of you, his favorite of the photos he took today. Because you’re smiling, softly smiling, genuinely staring at the photographer instead of the camera. His chest squeezed the longer he looked at it, zooming it to be sure. 

Any doubt, petty reasoning, self-absorbed desires.. they disappear whenever he’s with you. And as much as he hates to acknowledge it, he’s attached. Very attached. 

“You shouldn’t have gotten in my way.” He glares at Heeseung, shutting his phone. He sighs, turning around to go to his own bedroom. Not wanting his brother to wake up mildly drunk and start a fuss if he finds you in bed together.

Stopping at his door, he looks at him one more time, void of any remorse. “It’s time to take out the trash big bro.”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

The ring of your alarm going off has you patting around for your phone, groaning as you sit up and finally shut it off only to find yourself alone.

You definitely did not end the night alone..

Did Sunghoon go back to his room? Who cares. He shouldn’t have ended up in your bed in the first place. You need to stop letting this happen.

What if Heeseung’s puking out his insides again? You should check on him first. Make sure he was able to even make it to the toilet bowl on his own..

He’s sitting on the edge of his bed when you reach the cracked open door to his room. Leaned over with his elbows on his knees and a contemplative expression stressing his face.

“Hee?”

He peers up, eyes swollen, lips puffy as if he’d been crying. “We need to talk.”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

To Be Continued..