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seriously it does. but I keep putting myself in situations that make it even stronger and the annoyance behind that is almost as bad.
for starters, I skipped a very important test and my teacher literally hunted me down because they were holding up the test for half a freaking hour all because of me. I haven't seen that teacher since and the idea of running into her PLAGUES ME. I also have to pay a fee for skipping the test and I'm not sure where to find that, so I haven't paid it oops!
NEXT THING. I constantly ghost people on accident and let enough time pass where replying would be weird. I ghosted both of my potential roommates for college because it truly felt like there was an invisible force that wouldn't let me reply and now, I'm stuck with random assignment (wish me luck btw).
I also feel very guilty about a situation surrounding one specific person. basically, I engaged in activities with them, told a girl I thought was my friend when I was drunk, and she went and told all of this person's closest friends. ALL because my mouth is humongous and apparently, they wanted to keep it a secret. luckily, this person is incredibly forgiving, this just isn't the only situation I swear I always get stuck in incredibly odd and awkward situations w/ them. one!! was our sexual encounter even fun or enjoyable, who knows? hasn't happened again since and that TERRIFIES ME. I also told their best friend that they didn't talk to me as much anymore when I was drunk and said friend went and told them I was SAD ABOUT IT. so ofc they confronted me to say sorry because they're amazing and sent from the heavens (literally not at all, just this singular instance). so, the overarching idea here is that I need to shut my fucking mouth when I'm drunk! woo!
honorable mention I flirted with the girl who ran a ride at an amusement park!! I said "uh hi, you're really cute by the way" after I got off and she said "thanks you are too" I think? don't remember but anyway I proceeded to get back on the ride like an hour later and oh my god that was the most awkward experience of my life. she had to check the constraints on my seat, and I tried to make eye contact and she immediately broke it FUCK. so she wasn't interested and I interrupted her workday how tragic is that. I never get too torn up about stuff like that because I'm secretly a little narcissistic and I think "I'm pretty so it's okay"
Off topic, the thing about that is I think acknowledging that you're physically attractive isn't narcissistic whatsoever, like hello this is just the physical form I was given at birth. I played little to no part in it getting to this point. I only find it narcissistic if you're wrong about it, but that's moreso delusional. It's way more narcissistic to think you're smarter than someone else in my opinion but I'm fully getting off topic.
I think a lot of the things I struggle with are associated with adhd and it would actually be so helpful for me to go through the diagnoses process, but my dad doesn't trust healthcare unfortunately. I would kind of gladly be hopped up on drugs (fully a joke I don't even know that I enjoy drinking after all the mistakes it leads me to)
thanks for reading if you did. I always imagine my ex reading things like this because he might be the only person that invested in me or that truly understands who I am as a person. I think my best friend might too and that makes me so happy that I've reached that realization and let her in.
I thought that after a conversation we had recently where I was talking about how I might not want to be friends with this other girl anymore (because she's extremely insecure and doesn't know who she is) and I said, "that might be me lacking empathy" and she said "you are usually always empathetic in every situation. I think the situations where you think you lack empathy are just you acting as a normal person would. just like when you had an ear infection and thought you were talking super loud because you couldn't hear, but you were actually just talking as loud as everyone else usually does" the art of noticing.
I similarly feel guilt for eating. sometimes when I eat I enter an unreachable state where I just keep going and going and going and I don't know what to do. the true cheat code is to just stay busy and work out but I've been so busy socially lately. literally every day like damn guys!! there's enough of me to go around!!
rating music on rym really stresses me out because it feels like everyone else knows exactly which artists and genres they enjoy the most but I truly could never confine myself like that. it's at odds with how badly I want to be able to fit into a specific little box or niche-- I just enjoy a variety of things and want to know how everyone enjoys the things they do
seriously it does. but I keep putting myself in situations that make it even stronger and the annoyance behind that is almost as bad.
for starters, I skipped a very important test and my teacher literally hunted me down because they were holding up the test for half a freaking hour all because of me. I haven't seen that teacher since and the idea of running into her PLAGUES ME. I also have to pay a fee for skipping the test and I'm not sure where to find that, so I haven't paid it oops!
NEXT THING. I constantly ghost people on accident and let enough time pass where replying would be weird. I ghosted both of my potential roommates for college because it truly felt like there was an invisible force that wouldn't let me reply and now, I'm stuck with random assignment (wish me luck btw).
I also feel very guilty about a situation surrounding one specific person. basically, I engaged in activities with them, told a girl I thought was my friend when I was drunk, and she went and told all of this person's closest friends. ALL because my mouth is humongous and apparently, they wanted to keep it a secret. luckily, this person is incredibly forgiving, this just isn't the only situation I swear I always get stuck in incredibly odd and awkward situations w/ them. one!! was our sexual encounter even fun or enjoyable, who knows? hasn't happened again since and that TERRIFIES ME. I also told their best friend that they didn't talk to me as much anymore when I was drunk and said friend went and told them I was SAD ABOUT IT. so ofc they confronted me to say sorry because they're amazing and sent from the heavens (literally not at all, just this singular instance). so, the overarching idea here is that I need to shut my fucking mouth when I'm drunk! woo!
honorable mention I flirted with the girl who ran a ride at an amusement park!! I said "uh hi, you're really cute by the way" after I got off and she said "thanks you are too" I think? don't remember but anyway I proceeded to get back on the ride like an hour later and oh my god that was the most awkward experience of my life. she had to check the constraints on my seat, and I tried to make eye contact and she immediately broke it FUCK. so she wasn't interested and I interrupted her workday how tragic is that. I never get too torn up about stuff like that because I'm secretly a little narcissistic and I think "I'm pretty so it's okay"
Off topic, the thing about that is I think acknowledging that you're physically attractive isn't narcissistic whatsoever, like hello this is just the physical form I was given at birth. I played little to no part in it getting to this point. I only find it narcissistic if you're wrong about it, but that's moreso delusional. It's way more narcissistic to think you're smarter than someone else in my opinion but I'm fully getting off topic.
I think a lot of the things I struggle with are associated with adhd and it would actually be so helpful for me to go through the diagnoses process, but my dad doesn't trust healthcare unfortunately. I would kind of gladly be hopped up on drugs (fully a joke I don't even know that I enjoy drinking after all the mistakes it leads me to)
thanks for reading if you did. I always imagine my ex reading things like this because he might be the only person that invested in me or that truly understands who I am as a person. I think my best friend might too and that makes me so happy that I've reached that realization and let her in.
I thought that after a conversation we had recently where I was talking about how I might not want to be friends with this other girl anymore (because she's extremely insecure and doesn't know who she is) and I said, "that might be me lacking empathy" and she said "you are usually always empathetic in every situation. I think the situations where you think you lack empathy are just you acting as a normal person would. just like when you had an ear infection and thought you were talking super loud because you couldn't hear, but you were actually just talking as loud as everyone else usually does" the art of noticing.
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Women's Day has been so heavily co-opted by bourgeois feminism but let's never forget that it originated from the labor movement under the organization of socialists like Theresa Malkiel and Clara Zetkin. It was always meant to be the International WORKING Women's Day.
Theresa Malkiel was a Jewish refugee & sweatshop worker turned head of the Socialist Party of America's Women's National Committee, and Clara Zetkin was a prominent leader of the German socialist movement.
It was a Women's Day gathering in Petrograd that snowballed into the Russian Revolution, a fact often erased.
something something nature
no i don't associate this song w them. just this specific lyric
inspired by pieces from kanrix, khanumshahrzad, & my old flipnote art
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so if you wanna get into the void without doing extra stuff like yoga nidra or methods…this is for u
i know in my last void post i said a lot of extra stuff but i’ve only did what i said in that post like twice. the other three times i just did three simple steps and boom! i was in the void. and i didn’t even manifest to get into the void every try!
step one: lay or sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes
step two: say any void affirmations and breathe. once you feel like you’re floating that’s a sign your entering it! continue saying affirmations and after a few minutes you’ll be in!
step three: affirm for what you want then leave 😉
the void isn’t as difficult as people make it out to be. it’s literally just a deep meditative state! you’ve probably entered it before and have never noticed. it really is this easy.
like there comes a point where you think something is fundamentally wrong with you. and then it turns out it’s just Friday and you haven’t washed your hair in three days and maybe you’re also just a little lonely and the combination of all three of those things is whittling a hole into your chest every time you breathe. but also the sun’s up. and you’ve survived everything so far, so you’ll survive this too, even if it hurts, even if you have to survive it many times.
21 items TS4: 15 manga titles + 3 controller overrides
6 items TS3
functional cc and mangas for sims 4!
BGC
Meshes and textures by me, some patterns for textures found on pinterest/google.
manga titles: Attack on titan, Bleach, Cardcaptor Sakura, Chainsaw man, Death note, Demon slayer, fullmetal alchemist, Hunter x Hunter, Junji Ito, Monster, Naruto, One punch man, Madoka magica, Sailor Moon, Tokyo Ghoul. ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ send ur requests for more manga on patreon!
CINNAMON GIRL ୨୧ . . fluff popular boy + quiet girl > part two of one duo park sunghoon and female reader en masterlist | 0.9k
• • •
YOU WERE AUDITIONING FOR THE PLAY. The play you told yourself you wouldn’t audition for, but as you saw posters around the school asking for a female lead— you caved. Well, not really. Your friends persuaded you saying it looked good on college applications.
So, there you were with the script in hand for Rose DeWitt.
You stood behind the curtain with your bag against your feet and you leaned against one of the props, it was half of the titanic boat.
Your nerves were racking up fast and you kept glancing at the exit wondering if this was really worth it. Sunghoon would be there and that was just another pound of fear.
His friends were definitely in the crowd and you couldn’t take the extra eyes. As you bit your lips in thought, you got the courage to leave, grabbing your bag and making a beeline towards the door.
Sure you’d be upset after but whatever.
“Hey! Wait!” A voice all too familiar called from behind you and you heard his footsteps getting closer. A hand tugged your bag strap, halting you.
“You came.” He sighed a sigh of relief— well that's what you believed it was. He seemed out of breath.
“I’m leaving actually.” You turned to him with pursed lips not wanting to seem as if his presence made you nervous even though it did— it totally did.
“No, don’t go. There's not many worthy candidates for Rose.” Sunghoon looked different outside of his uniform. He wore a plain white t-shirt and some jeans, his hair the same tousled mess as it always was.
“Don’t think I’ll get her part anyway.” You shrugged, dropping the script to your side. You saw Yunjin walk in with a smile and that gave you enough confidence to know she was going to take the spot.
“Don’t be silly. I’ve seen you, you’re better than anyone I've ever seen, trust me.” Sunghoon ran a hand through his hair, his smile growing wider.
“You’ve seen me?” He’s seen you? The only time he ever saw you act was for the Romeo and Juliet play last summer.
“Well, I mean, yeah. I saw you here last week practicing.” His cheeks grew hot and his eyes began to wander everywhere but you.
Gosh, that’s embarrassing. You thought you were alone that whole time and now he saw you. Like really saw you.
“I’m gonna go,” Sighing, you quickly turned around heading for the door once more but again, this time his hand firmly grabbed your belt loop swinging you back around.
“Come on, stay.” Both his hands rested on your hips. His warmth seeping through your jeans and to your skin making everything hot. Your hands shook and your heartbeat ran at a thousand miles per hour.
“Fine,” You gave up, there was no escaping him.
“Good.” He smiled once again. He grabbed your hand into his and led you somewhere quieter, sitting down on the floor in a corner.
“Now, tell me about yourself. I only know your name and the fact you like to run away from cute boys.” As you sat, his shoulder brushed yours and he rested his hand on your knee.
Shrugging your shoulders again, you looked around thinking of what he’d possibly want to know about someone like you. You liked reading but didn’t everyone? You liked coffee but so did the teachers. You enjoyed long walks but so did the elderly ladies. Nothing was special about you.
“What’s your favorite color?” He spoke. His fingertip going to rub circles on your knee.
“Green, you?” You looked at him.
“Blue.”
“Makes sense.” You nodded.
“Why’s that?” Sunghoon asked, so intrigued. He had a teasing grin on his lips and you swore your words got caught in your throat looking at his oh-so plump lips.
“Basic boys like blue.”
He laughed in almost a scoffing manner.
“And all pretty girls like green.” His voice lowered an octave and he glanced at you. If he moved closer his nose would be brushing against yours and that had you on edge.
He was silent while looking at you. His eyes traveled to your face as if he was searching for something. Like he wanted something.
“Why do you talk to me?” You suddenly asked and he retreated backwards slightly. “Nobody else talks to me.”
He took a breath in, “Cause you’re different, special different. Everytime I go to sleep all I can think about is what song are you listening to now? Or what book are you reading, if you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee, if you like me or someone else.” His hand stopped rubbing your knee but he still kept it there.
You were stunned, if you were on your feet you’d be knocked over. You never thought he even liked you for what you were. You believed he was teasing you or his friends made him bet he could get a date with you.
The popular boy liked you, the quiet girl.
“I guess I just confessed, but I like you. I only started auditioning for these plays because I saw you here. I don’t even know how to act.” He laughed and you followed with a short chuckle.
“Well, I guess I like basic boys too.” You smiled at him resting your hand above his and he nodded, diving down to steal a kiss.
“Hey! You were supposed to wait for our first date.” You shook your head in mock disappointment and he grinned, kissing you once again.
“Did you just ask me out?” His hand rested on your cheek and you tried turning away but he held you in place.
authors note, thank you to the people who asked for part two because this is my favorite thing i’ve ever written 🩷 also idk if a titanic play exists ?? but oh well
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