???

Here I am, awake at 3am again, for the hundredth time since you left me. I still don’t understand what the hell happened. Did I do something wrong? Was it something I said? Was my anxiety too much to handle, so you decided leaving me was the best for both of us?

Destiny had a funny way for us to exist in each other’s lives. We started as strangers with no intention of being lovers, just two lonely souls desperate for someone to talk to. Our short conversations turned into long talks about anything to everything. 

You are the only person that I got comfortable with instantly. From the moment we met, you made me so happy that I thought, for once, the universe was in my favor. But I knew I was treading dangerous ground from then, I should’ve known better.

My mind keeps going back to that night, that cold December night when I was safely wrapped in between your arms. When you told me everything’s going to be alright. I felt safe and sound, I shouldn’t have let my guard down.

In the short span of time we had each other, I guess it was my fault I got attached and sort of fallen too fast, even though you already warned me how fucked up you are, I chose to ignore that and see the goodness in you instead.

Even though you left me hanging and confused with all these questions that I’ll never get answered, I’m not mad at you anymore. I miss you so much and It still hurts, and i’m still torn between fighting for you or letting you go. I know I can and I will get over you one of these days. Yet there’s still a part of me, hoping that our paths will cross again and maybe by that time we’ll give this another shot. If there’s one thing I learned, life doesn’t work out how you want it to be and now I know how sad songs are made.

But for now, I’ll carry on with my life and rebuild what’s left of me. 

We started with sweet hellos, yet we ended without even saying goodbye.

I fell in love with the idea of you, of us.