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I am on AO3: birbsborbs

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macydraws

loons

aemelia

the cottage x the shins ☀️ @shanesummerfest

#this song choice....#i need to sit down except i am sitting down

aemelia

Can we stay like this forever?

#so devastating i'm harmed

hollanderthoughts

i think its the first time you said his name

a lot can change over several years or a few months or even on a thursday afternoon. some day you will wake up and you will have to choose to be brave.

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hollanderthoughts

Sent Ilya this dog pic I found online and said “you ❤️” and he called me crying so hard I thought he was gonna throw up

hollanderthoughts

Salt in the wound, cock in the hole, life goes on

hollanderthoughts

I’m not brave.

hollanderthoughts

But I could be………

hollanderthoughts

"whats the worst that could happen" you cant ask me that im not the kind of person who can handle that question in a way that is good for my personal safety

hollanderthoughts

I wonder if anyone has looked at me and instead of thinking, “oh my god, it’s Shane Hollander!” they thought, “there’s a person in there…”

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This gentleness we learn (from what we can't heal) by birbsborbs | ~6,700 words, Rated T, Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, 2/2 Complete

“You are worrying too much,” Ilya said. “Easy for you to say,” Shane muttered, unable to hold it back. “Your mom hasn’t been texting all week with stressful details about this damn camp.” “No,” Ilya said. “She has not.” Another vibration from his phone, ‘Mom’ appearing on the screen, and then—Your mom hasn’t been texting all week. “Ilya,” Shane breathed. He pushed his laptop away and stood from the chair, approaching Ilya cautiously. “Ilya, I shouldn’t have said that.”

Or,

A reparative rewrite of the canon scene in The Long Game, in which Ilya and Shane navigate a hard conversation because grief sometimes feels like a trap door they can’t help but fall into. They lean on each other to get through. Title borrowed from Bronwen Wallace’s beautiful and devastating poem, “What It Comes to Mean”

#heated rivalry fanfic #hollanov fanfic #finally finished with this so i can be done with it and never think about it again #jk but also #;-; :( :s

aethersea

the question of fic comments is very straightforward actually. readers do not owe writers comments. writers do not owe readers fic. there is no bargain, no transaction, no debt.

fic is a gift. comments are a gift. gifts are exchanged between friends, out of love, not out of obligation.

I write for myself. I post it for others, as a gift, because their joy brings me joy. I read for myself. I comment for the author, as a gift, because their joy brings me joy. perhaps we were not friends before, but we are now, however fleetingly, because we have given each other gifts out of love.

#on fandom

arist0cratsz

heated rivalry: super rich kids by frank ocean

arist0cratsz

shane x ilya: fast car by tracy chapman

#i am in shock rn..........#emotional damage meter 100

boitterfly

heated rivalry x pride and prejudice (2005)

#feels like this was made for me specifically......ok

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

sosaneitsinsane

BIG OLE FREAK HEATED RIVALRY EDIT (ILYA’S VERSE)

i tried uploading the full version of the big ole freak edit here on tumblr and it immediately got flagged as nsfw but this cut should be fine. ;) full version can be found via the source link.

please do not repost without crediting me. find me on instagram, twitter, and tiktok. you can also support me by subscribing to my patreon newsletter.

aemelia

And I built a home—for you, for me.

#emotional damage.................

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