mckinley muckraker

IMPORTANT !   while fictional characters are subject to being dragged, this blog does   not  tolerate negativity towards muns or their portrayals. if you want to support your favorite mun and sent them a sweet message, you are more than welcome to do so. 

“THIS IS A NEW SWEATER VEST!” He spits the blue slushie caught in his mouth. Another day, another slushie. He should be accustomed to the daily attacks by now. The first ever blog post he made resulted in having an icy drink thrown into his face then given a one-way trip into the dumpster by the football team immediately after. He wanted to go anonymous, to hide out from the eyes of the public and get through high school without being a blimp on the radar. He considered it, sure, then he realized the reason those idiot jocks had reacted so violently was because people were actually starting to listen to the words he had to say.

Jacob had built himself up from day one — researched on how to be the best investigator and reporter there was in the small town of Ohio, forced himself not to cry every time he was physically retaliated against, and profited off of classmates who wanted information. He found things kept secret, things he never published because despite the public’s belief, he had his morals.

He’s been rightfully called perverted, and some have accused him of lying, but he’s done his best to back up all of his facts with evidence. He helped circulate rumors, though refused to be bribed or harassed into confirming false ones ( because what kind of reporter does that? ). This is the power that he has, and it went even deeper than he’d thought.

This is his life. If finding the truth and being acknowledged rewarded him with this, then so be it. “You’ll be washing my car one day!”

While things will be very slow on this blog, as soon as I can get my things in order he will be!

Well, well, well. I hope you lot haven’t gotten too comfortable in my absence.

CALLING ALL BLOG-O-SPHERE! Your fellow student (and love of my life) Rachel Berry wants to call upon your attention. Take it away, sweetie.

I’m not your sweetie, Jacob!

Ahem.

Attention all current and former members of the New Directions!

In wake of this Glist, you’ll be unsurprised to hear that I -- Rachel Berry -- have graced the bottom, with a negative three score. Though I recognize that these things truly hold no meaning in the real world, I couldn’t escape the chance to do something to improve upon the new foundation I’ve built for myself.

So, in a classic act of musical defiance, I’ve reprised an iconic number of mine -- with friends new and old -- in order to solidify my reputation as a dedicated performer, unafraid of taking risks.

THE GLIST   ––––    “  WHO’S HOT - WHO’S NOT !  ”

1. SANTANA LOPEZ  –––––  +42 2. QUINN FABRAY ––––– +40 3. BRITTANY S. PIERCE  –––––  + 36 4. NOAH PUCKERMAN  ––––– + 32 5. SAM EVANS   –––––––   + 29 6. MIKE CHANG   –––––– + 25 7. FINN HUDSON ––––––– + 22 8. KITTY WILDE  ––––– + 20 9. JESSE ST. JAMES  –––– + 17 10. MATT RUTHERFORD  ––––– + 15 11. TINA COHEN-CHANG  –––– + 7 12. MERCEDES JONES  –––– +2 13. RACHEL BERRY   ––––   - 3 14. THE OTHER NEW KIDS BESIDES THE HOT CHEERIO    –––––   - 20

“AND THE RESULTS ARE IN, MCKINLEY! Team Trouty wins by a LANDSLIDE. SARLEY has the hearts of Lima, Ohio. A little BORING for my taste. Mayhaps the Womanizer can come along and make things a little more interesting? I’m sorry, Finn Hudson offspring, I don’t care for you and frankly no one really does either. BELLA SWAN — or Katniss Everdeen, whatever — I will be following you and the uncastrated male horse stripper for exclusive footage.”

Santana Lopez @gleebitch​ and Quinn Fabray @loserlikewe​​ caught fooling around in the Cheerio's locker room?! — anonymous

JUICY, JUICY, JUICY!

Fellow McKinley Titans, is it me or is it beginning to smell like a golf course around here? It seems that when one ex-Cheerio removes herself from two teams, she joins another! You heard right, McKinley High. The QUINN FABRAY has exchanged her cheer sneakers for GOLF SHOES to play some one-on-one with SANTANA LOPEZ?  Perhaps this explains their avoidance from me when I tried to catch an EXCLUSIVE!

Where is BRITTANY S. PIERCE?? How does she feel about this rising romance? Will be The Unholy Trinity become more than a friendly threesome?! Or will it become The Unholy Binity?!!

Ladies, if you need a helping hand, JBI is always glad to be of assistance! (Rachel Berry, this is merely just for our time apart. You are my one true love)

I did, yes!

These:

turned to these:

oh & i’d like to add that the jacob account - pure. genius. adults of lima who ? most iconic.

Adults of Lima? Legendary.