o' heartless man

No, I don't need anything. I've never really been one for hats, sorry to say. Just... think about what I said. What's the harm in taking those balloons for what they were probably intended as, a nice surprise?

If you stop by before Wednesday you’ll get a bit of a discount. Just ask me if you have any questions.

Hunting? Hmm, well, we can't have that, can we? You're hurting innocent people, after all. And I daresay I won't be able to discourage you with just words... Seeing as how you're so bent on behaving like an animal, perhaps you'd be happier being one, hm?

Not only is it pretty much covered in water, they manage to cover that with water that’s frozen. And now we’re stuck in it, ‘cause the castle can’t move through it. I mean, the portals still work so we’re not completely stuck, and everyone’s safe which is y’know, great, but if I have to get rid of any more snow from the inside I swear I’m gonna burn the place down just to see if it’ll melt the godforsaken stuff.

It is getting a bit chilly in here, even with all your efforts. I'll see if I can dig up some heating spells; we're never going to unstick ourselves if you and I are both incapacitated. Once that's done, we should get to the business of the snow storm itself. You can feel it, can't you? Whatever's behind this, it's not natural. Either some inexperienced warlock's let loose a dodgy blizzard spell or we're facing something much more malevolent.

It’s not the being stuck inside the castle I hate, ‘cause someone’s gotta keep it running, it’s the being your skivvy I hate. I’m a fire demon, for Chrissakes - I had all sorts of magic at my disposal before I met you, and now what? I’m reduced to doin’ cheap magic tricks and lightin’ fires and… did you say you got turned down? You?

Ha! Losing your touch, are you? Bet that one stung. What happened, did your reputation catch up with you? Looks like you’re gonna have to go back to old girls like the Witch of the Waste, wouldn’t you just love that? … you’re not gonna call forward dark spirits again, are ya? ‘Cause lemme tell ya, I’m not gonna be the one to clean that mess up, not this time, never again. You’re on your own if you bring those guys back.

And I know, jeez, I was just kidding. And the only reason I hate moving the castle is because it’s mostly because of your escapades! When we made that deal, my half of it was not to clean up after your messes, or help you run away from them. Or did you lose your memory along with your heart?

Yes, that is what I said, unfortunately. But hold on there Calcifer, I didn't say I was going to give up. One refusal is no grounds for calling the dark spirits, how unreasonable do you think I am? I only called them the last time because the girl was moving away. This was just... a minor setback. And yes, it was due to my reputation; what a double-edged sword it turned out to be. I suppose it would have wiser to give her the name "Jenkins", but for some reason I didn't feel like lying to this one. ...Perhaps I am losing my touch. I'll have to work on regaining my wickedness, haha.

No, I remember quite well, don't worry. I just can't seem to shake Trouble off my tail, not to mention those witches, and it was your misfortune to enter into a deal with me. Maybe you're right, maybe the contract between us isn't quite fair... but what can we do now? You need me, and I you. Do try and make the best of a poor situation, if you can.

Demonic? That’s the best you could come up with? You’re losing your touch, Howl, why don’tcha use that magic of yours to conjure yourself up a decent sense of humour? Or is that beyond the abilities of the great wizard Pendragon, cold-curing extraordinaire? 

Haha yeah, wow, real funny there, Howl. That’s exactly how I wanted to spend my night, following around a couple of brats until you ran off chasing girls and I was left in charge of Markl - gee, I’m so disappointed that I missed it, my life’s gonna be unfulfilled now. ‘Sides, stayin’ in meant I could just shut the door in their face when I had enough of them. Maybe next year I’ll bring a few in and kick them through that portal of yours and see what happens, maybe then they’ll stop botherin’ us.

It was just a suggestion. You spend enough of your time moaning about being stuck in the castle I thought you'd relish the opportunity to get out, but ah well, my mistake. And I didn't run off chasing girls... though not for a lack of trying. Funny, no one's ever said no to me before. You do that and we'll probably have to relocate; the resident wizard will be the first they suspect in a case of missing children, after all. And I don't think I need to remind you how much you hate having to move us around.

It’s not even the stupid costume or the obnoxious amount of fireworks, but the groups of kids who come around acting like they’re entitled to get something from you! They’re lucky I didn’t set all their stupid costumes on fire. Who came up with the idea for this stupid holiday, anyway?

Why would I go anywhere with you? You haven’t even introduced yourself!

I'll probably be accompanying Markl tomorrow night - my apprentice, I mean - when he goes trick-or-treating. You should come with us, I insist!

...Or you could stay in your little shop, it's your choice after all.

If you need any last minute orders, I’ll be in the shop tonight and all day tomorrow. 

You do at least have something planned for the night, I hope?