I've come to the point where I try to not stress so much.
But I've always have had that tendency to, even against my best efforts to avoid them.
This week has just taken a huge toll on me.
As I sit on the chair next to the counter, the house is quiet, no one's home. They're all out enjoying their Friday night.
I sat there with a bowl of soup and a cup of water just letting my mind race over all of these deadlines, all of these events that have occurred, all these responsibilities, all of these future stepping stones that are coming up so quickly.
I just sat there quietly. With my two dogs and two cats walking the house as if I wasn't even there. Just hearing their paws tap the hard floor was soothing to me.
I didn't let all of these thoughts get the best of me. But they are still there, in the back of my mind constantly.
I do not like to share my feelings to others. I like to keep them to myself and prefer to hide them away than to discuss them with anyone. Except one person.
Who does not always seem as if they would like to listen to what I have to say.
I understand that they are going through issues and life themselves. My ears are always opened. But it is their choice to not express their feelings to me.
But it is my choice to express to them, and as a human who is supposed to be by my side always, with a hand to hold, and shoulder to cry on, I feel as if I'm unwelcomed to share my feelings.
Most of the time, anyways.
There are times that I just need to shut down and let everything out.
They regard me as being dramatic and a spoiled brat.
Words that are so uplifting.
But on the outside, I live for what I do.
I love waking up every morning to work with my patients and customers.
They make me so happy, they make me thrive to move forth.
They bring me such joy and happiness. I owe them so much.
For the time I am with them, all my troubles are put aside.
I am there for them, and I will do everything I can to make sure they leave out of my hands just as happy and they make me.
I love to make others around me happy, as I am the one who can be so unhappy deep down. I fight this battle often, but those around me bring me up.
I am forever grateful for everyone.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
-Wendy Mass
