Wrap your thoughts in works of art

Wuthering Heights

Because every time I watch those movies, I get hopeful that one day, that'll be me. But then I realise that it will probably never ever ever happen. Not in the near future.

I thought knew people were better than that. 

Or that's what I keep telling myself everyday. Instead, I go and do exactly the opposite. 

You'll never know how much it hurts me, no one will ever know.

That's if there's even any of you left...

A simple hello from you can make my day and put me in a good mood. When you don't, I can't stop thinking about what I did wrong. Everything I think about somehow always reverts back to you. I've become so vulnerable that I'm scared when the time comes, you're going to leave me with pieces I definitely won't be able to put back together.  Don't let me down.  

I want to be the person you can't get out of your head , the person you go to bed at night thinking about. I want to be the person that you will always look for no matter how many people are in the room at one time. I want to the person that you get excited about seeing, the person that you would go out of your way to do something for. I want to be the person your nervous to talk to, the person that makes your heart skip beats. I want to be that person for you because that's who you are to me. 

I thought this was supposed to be a feeling of excitement, eagerness, infatuation and fun. But instead all I'm doing is over thinking and feeling my heart ache every day.

To have them need me, as much as I need them. 

I really am. But sometimes the words just don't seem to come out of my mouth. Sometimes I think so hard of what to say, that I lose my chance. Believe me, I absolutely hate myself for it afterwards. I choke up. I lose all train of sensible thought. I hold in what I really want to say for fear of what will be thought of me.  I want you to know I really do care for you. 

but at the same time, I don't think that would be possible. How can you be friends with someone when the whole time you're just thinking about how much more you want from them.  But anything's better than being like this.