Hopefully Finding Comfort

I took some selfies that looked kinda cute, but this was more authentic.

I got my corrective top surgery Monday [20/01/2020]. I am a swollen, bloated mess.

The pain is bearable this time around, but mostly it's having my chest compressed that's killing me. I can feel my muscles and bones crying out like "What the fuck, dude".

Medical chest compressors are not designed with the wearer's comfort in mind, clearly...

"How do you dress outside of work?"

I'm alive and I'm coming off one hell of a cold.

How are you today?

[Left- How actually feel / Right- Pretending to be confident]

[☆6 months post-op / about 2 years on T☆]

I was supposed to do gym things... however seasonal depression got in the way..

But now we're getting back to regular depression! Which means actually working out!

[17/01/2019]

My hair is different!

Also I met with my surgeon last week, and we're going to meet again in June.

She wants me to work out my pecks so she can contour them easier in July/August.

Hey!

A)It's awesome that you want to talk to him about this

B) 1. How you approach the conversation is entirely based on how much you already know about trans-related stuff

2. His experiences and feelings about trans matters are unique to him and so I guess don't make any assumptions?

If you want to open up the conversation about his experiences and feelings of self, I suggest testing the waters. I'm talkative and open about my experiences with my meat-suit, but some guys may not be.

Examples of how to talk about it?:

"Can I ask you about your transition, and is there anything you don't want to talk about?"

"Are you comfortable talking about trans related matters, [statement reaffirming your genuine interest in who he is as a person here]?"

"I want to support you, therefore I need to understand you better."

Any of these in combination is fine too!

The one thing I gotta say though:

Do Not Vaguely Imply That You Want To Talk About "Something". I would panic on the spot if I came out to somebody and they were like "we should talk". Like?? About what??

Make what you want to talk about clear, and let him know that you're on his team!

Hey!

I'm gunna be real with you: you need to talk to him.

Every trans guy is different and has different feelings about sex.

Talking with him about what might make him uncomfortable, as well as what he enjoys, will make the experience more comfortable for both of you.

If you haven't talked about it yet, he might be apprehensive about broaching the subject. Give him the opportunity to talk about his preferences in the bedroom.

Examples:

"What bedroom activities do you enjoy participating in?"

"I'd like to know what kind of sexual acts make you dysphoric so I can avoid them."

"I want us to bone and I want us both to enjoy it let's discuss this topic."

[01/11/2018]

I don't have the self-esteem to post pictures that prominently display the, uhh, problem areas, so here's this!

I'm hoping I can avoid corrections (lipo/contour) by hitting the gym and building the muscle in my pecks. Even if it doesn't improve the shape, it'll make my surgeon's job easier.

I still have folding on the right side, but it's slowly improving. Again, I'm hoping that working out will save me.

...You'll get to see what I'm talking about once I don't have to see it every day.

Anyway~

I know with my surgeon it was very much out of my hands. There's no harm in asking. But chances are that if you don't take what they give you, your appointment will get pushed back.